It's hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember. Missing you forever..

You and I are together...the 'forever' kind of together.

Just because we are together, does not mean we have to constantly exchange words, touch or sight. There isn't always a purpose, an agenda behind being together. It is enough just 'being' together!

You may think I do not hear you, but I listen. You may feel I do not look at you, but I never lose sight of you. I don't touch you but I hold you every moment. It is this kind of togetherness that matters. The forever kind of togetherness.

Yes! You and I are together...the 'forever' kind of together.

Sending you a flower from Wales

Colors of dark grey and black fill the world in which I live

No other feeling could possibly be worse than this

Where once was a room filled with laughter and cheer

Now stands loneliness, emptiness, and despair.

Memories of you seem to creep around the corners of my mind

Endless haunting images of your face that won't decline

An overwhelming of emotion that my body can't contain

Fills my soul with unbearable grief, sorrow, and pain

Oh, how I long to hold you in my arms just once more

And tell you that things will be again, as they were before

But, as reality sinks in, I know that will never be

For the choices that I've made in my life have sealed our destiny

No one could ever fathom how wretchedly my heart aches

And how I greatly regret that you've had to pay for my mistakes

If I could go back in time, and change only one wrong that I've done

I'd go back to the hour, to the second, on the day I lost you.

My Son.

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/a-mothers-cry

" Please Explain "

I'm at a loss, I'm in between the crossroads.

I am so tired of the grief, I am so tired of the pain, I am just so tired of the crying.

The crying that comes from out of no where, the crying that comes from within.

I didn't ask for this, nor do I want it.

How can it be said, that the man upstairs will always watch out for me ?

HOW ???

How can it be said that someday I will understand what is handed to me now, will make me stronger in my future.

How can this be, when God took my child from me!!!

With every year that passes, this is one day that doesn’t seem to get easier. With every holiday, it is more clear that you are actually never coming back, and that is the scariest thought for me to wrap my head around.

Christmas was so important to you. It was so important to me. The part that made it so important was to get to spend it with you. Our traditions were everything to me and I will never ever forget them.

I don’t love Christmas the way I used to. I don’t look forward to it and get excited the way I once did. The fact that I don’t get to spend it with you- just takes so much excitement our of it.

I miss you. I miss our traditions. I miss having you to spend this day with. I miss picking you out the perfect present and getting so excited for you to open it.

My heart aches that I have to spend what is supposed to be such an important family centered day without the most important person to me. I can’t say enough times how much this time of year makes me miss you.

Christmas is a time to spend with the people you love. I just can’t see the sense of it without you here. It takes the happiness and love out of it that much more.

Life isn’t the same without you. Holidays aren’t the same without you. I’ve accepted, that they probably never will be.

Don’t for a second think you aren’t on my mind constantly during Christmas time, just like you are every other day.

I miss you. I love you.

My dear son! I miss you so much

It keeps hurting, I can’t stop crying

My eyes always search for you in the sky

Heart longs for finding you in the heaven

My dear son! I love you so much

I feel so empty without you

I am so scared of my future without you

Heart longs for being around you for my safety

My dear son! You are my angel

I still feel that you are caring me from above

I tell my broken heart that you are still watching me

Heart longs for your care even from heaven

My dear son! You are my protector

I remember you when I feel lonely

I talk to you when I break into pieces

Heart longs for your support even from heaven

My dear son! I was thinking I gave you life

The reality is that you had given me life

Without you and your presence, I can’t exist

Heart longs for your company in my heart until I exist

Please be there in my heart

I love you Son

"Someday you will be faced with the reality of loss. And as life goes on, days rolling into nights, it will become clear that you never really stop missing someone special who’s gone, you just learn to live around the gaping hole of their absence.When you lose someone you can’t imagine living without, your heart breaks wide open, and the bad news is you never completely get over the loss. You will never forget them. However, in a backwards way, this is also the good news. They will live on in the warmth of your broken heart that doesn’t fully heal back up, and you will continue to grow and experience life, even with your wound. It’s like badly breaking an ankle that never heals perfectly, and that still hurts when you dance, but you dance anyway with a slight limp, and this limp just adds to the depth of your performance and the authenticity of your character. The people you lose remain a part of you. Remember them and always cherish the Good moments spent with them."

Save A Place For Me

Save a place for me in Heaven,
I am knocking at the door,
When the time comes for me to enter,
You’re the one I’ll be looking for.

I am climbing God’s stairway,
Toward that heavenly glow,
Focused on forever,
There’s so much I want to know.

In the garden of the Divine,
All will be revealed,
I open my heart in acceptance,
Praying daily to be healed.

No more tears in Heaven,
Only love and peace prevail,
All burdens will be lifted,
When we move beyond the veil.

I feel your love surround me,
In God’s heavenly embrace,
With a team of caring angels,
Guiding me with grace.

I love you more than ever,
And miss you every day,
Save a place for me in Heaven,
I am on my way.

Since beginning this journey they call "surviving the loss of your child" I have learned so many things. I've learned that time means NOTHING and EVERYTHING all at once. Time is forever split by that one moment I heard the words no parent can fathom, even in their worst nightmare..."Your child died." Time is forever seen as before and after that moment. Time means NOTHING for no matter how much time passes, the pain and heartache never go away! Time means EVERYTHING because etched into the deepest part of my soul is the memory of the last time I saw him, heard his voice, saw the sparkle in his smile, touched him, laughed with him, cried with him, celebrated with him, the last time I was blessed to make my last memory with him...the last time my life felt complete. I've learned the true meaning of heart break; the piercing pain that never goes away. I've learned that my life, my world, is forever changed, and I will never be the same person I was before. 



I've learned that you can miss someone so much that it makes it hard to breathe, and it takes everything inside of me to endure one more day without my child physically here with me. I've learned that in my darkest moments I am stronger than I ever imagined I could be...and I've learned that there are no words or explanations to make someone understand what a moment in the life of a grieving parent is like if they have not walked in those exact shoes that no parent ever wants to wear! I've learned that although I do not have a psychology degree, a license to be a counselor or any legal certification framed on my wall to document my experience and knowledge of grief, I can guarantee you that a moment in the life of a parent who sits at the foot of her child's dead body knows more about grief than any education can provide...losing your child and surviving, one moment at a time, makes a parent an expert in living through grief. Most of all, I've learned that every moment of every day, for the rest of my life...I will miss my son, but I will live and love just as he did~with all I have to give! A moment in the life of a grieving parent...a moment changed my world forever...and some day, a moment will bring us together again, forever this time! ❤️

Somebody said, I would have died if I was in your place.
And I wonder, how come I am alive? 
Perhaps I am not as good a mother that she is
And perhaps that is the truth I have to face.
For her child lives and mine died
And I could do nothing to keep my son alive..

Sometimes 

Sometimes I catch a glimpse, In softened waves of blue my child, my heart ...when I see a smile I can't help but think of you. 

Sometimes these waves fill oceans. And feelings string on every shore. A collections of each memory and every way I wish for more.

Sometimes I watch for answers because each day I call to you I ask for faith and courage and strength ...to help me through

Sometimes I ask for bravery like dolphins in the deep. Because time moves oh so slowly. And sometimes the road is steep. 

  You ,
 A part of me.
Now no more,
 Me substracted from me.

Lesser me,
my identity,
lost with you.

 Your absence,
 Fills my life.
 You are gone, 
Years have passed,
 But my heart and mind,
 do not still grasp it.
 Broken at all levels.
so deeply sad 
at myself.



  

You and
me,

the Moon and the everlasting Sun.
like our souls etrnal.
 
You  and me
 and the  world.

The world a desert, 
dry, merciless cruel,
 your memories
the green oasis.

 you and me,
  Far,

yet so near.


 In my heartbeat,
In my breath.
that I take now .

the song in your heart,
or mine
the twinkle in your eyes,
or mine
The dreams all mine
were yours
 My dreams 
Your dreams
Are they mine,
Am I alive?
 Are you there?
 you listen to your heart beat
 And tell me.
 

The Far Side of the Rainbow

I only have a picture now,
A frozen piece of time,
To remind me of how it was,
When you were here, and mine.

I see your smiling eyes,
Each morning when I wake,
I talk to you, and place a kiss,
Upon your lovely face.

How much I miss you being here,
I really can not say,
The ache is deep inside my heart,
And never goes away.

I hear it mentioned often,
That time will heal the pain,
But if I'm being honest,
I hope it will remain.

I need to feel you constantly,
To get me through the day,
I loved you so very much,
Why did you go away?

The angels came and took you,
That really wasn't fair,
They took my  Son,
My future life. My heir.

If only they had asked me,
If I would take your place,
I would have done so willingly,
Leaving you this world to grace.

You should have had so many years,
To watch your life unfold,
And in the mist of this,
Watch me, your Mom grow old!

I hope you're watching from above,
At the daily tasks I do,
And let there be no doubt at all,
I really do love you.

~ Deborah Robinson 

It's true what they say, when a child is born,
a mother's heart is no longer her own,
It runs and skips and giggles and grins, 
And crawls in her lap, for a kiss on the chin,
But where goes her heart, when that child is gone,
Is it true what they say, that life goes on. 

A thousand ninety-five days, and the clock still ticks,
3 whole years, the months - 36,
Does the passage of time mean it should make sense,
Can loss be measured in time increments.
As I yearn for the day when I'll again see my son, 
Is it true what they say, that life goes on.

I still breathe in and out and arise every day,
And work, and struggle, and yes, even play,
Things will get better, I've been told many times,
But "different" is the status for those left behind, 
Time can't heal all wounds nor break all bonds, 
Can it be true what they say, that life goes on.

In the air and wind, I feel your strong embrace,
And your kisses from butterflies that land on my face,
I see your smile in the beams of the sun, 
The twinkle of your eyes now shines in Eden,
And I hear your laugh in the lyrics of song,
Is it possibly true, that life goes on.

It's strange to think that your heart still beats,
Inside some stranger, whom I'll never meet,
Does he know he carries a heart of gold,
From my sweet boy, who will never grow old,
So many lives saved by your own, 
Yes - it's true what they say, that life goes on.

 I have two children, One is not here
 He is far away, his brother is near. 
 He lives in heaven, far from me.
 but we are still a family 

 One child has gone to be with God
 As if he moved to live abroad.
 So when  I am asked I canot resist
 I say though gone, he still exists 

 He lives in me and his brother 
 For all my life  I will be his mother.
 He holds my heart as I hold his .
thats how it was and how it is. 

so if you ask me about my son
I will say that his soul lives on
 And that he is with us everyday
 death canot take my child away. 

There is only one wish that I want on this day,
Is to have you here, and forever stay.

I am always told that you are not far,
If I look to the sky, there you are.

But I don't want to look to the sky,
I just want you here by my side.

I know my one wish will never come true,
So I will sit here today and cry for you....

Anita Halas

I can't resolve much. 

Or see life going forward willingly. 

It just does go on; 

Without my permission.

So, I have no control; 

And that complicates my world. 

My footing forever unbalanced. 

Anything stable gone. 

In more ways than one. 

I feel like I'm swimming in the ocean; and, I am holding onto a buoy, 

In a storm with large swells . 

I'm struggling to keep afloat .

I know I won't drown, if I can just hold on . 

But the buoy moves around, 

Jostling me so much. 

I can't grip too well the circumstances. 

I pray for a life boat, that my child is captaining; 

Which is not coming. 

However, I feel the sharks coming nearer. 

So panic sets in- 

Or, I relinquish and let go  and know that life is over. 

And I am bait. 

Either way, I'm pretty sure,

life's not supposed to be this way. 

An unnatural state of being. 

So, I'm just doing what I can, 

To keep my head above water. 

Dark clouds in the sky don't make it easier,

Though i do try and hold onto the love. 

And I think for now that is what is keeping me afloat.

His last hug to me.

That mother-son bond and connection;

Deep and true.  

I hold those memories

And this is what I remember. 

And it brings me smiles and joy;

But also tears, sorrow and pain, as well. 

A bittersweet existence. 

It's what I am left with.

Life without my son; 

Without his future and or promise. 

No grandchilden, No little ones

None of that that to hold and cherish in his absence. 

He lived life with love . 

And I was blessed to have my share in this existence for a while. 

It is replaced now with, A part of me dead now, as well. 

A good part. 

And I have an angel in heaven that walks beside me. 

Sending me messages to comfort me. 

An unnatural way of communication, but yet natural for him, 

My techy kid. 

But the only hug, I receive from him, forever more,

I get is the one I remember from those many years ago. 

Engraved in my being. 

The one I still feel like it was today. 

And that will have to hold me over for eternity. 

That is what I am left with. 

I wish I could travel back in time just to have you hold me once again.

I wish I could travel back in time just to hear your voice again

I wish I could travel back in time just to say I love you

What I wish for and what I have is the difference between a dream and reality

So when I sleep I travel, I see your smiling face.  

I wake to reality, knowing that sweet embrace, from the past I remember, in the present I feel pain. 

I    W I L L   A L L W A Y S   L O V E   Y O U

By: Cher Powers

Since you've been gone
I had to see,
That life moved on
For you and me.
Since you've been gone
I cried many times ,
Lost in a world
That just wasn't mine.
Since you've been gone
My heart broke in two,
Mourning and grieving
a life without you.
Since you've been gone 
I think of you everyday,
Although I still live 
A life with heartache.
Since you've been gone
I never forgot,
The love and laughter
We both shared a lot.
Since you've been gone
I still miss your sweet face,
Your dazzling smile
And your warm embrace.
Since you've been gone
There were many bad days,
Of mourning the loss
Of my son who went away.
Since you've been gone
I've come to see,
You've never left 
Because you visit me.
Since you've been gone 
We still have chats,
Sometimes serious
And other about this or that .
Since you've been gone
You've showed me signs,
Of being around
Making sure I'm fine.
Since you've been gone 
I had to see,
That you're never gone
But always with me. 
Since you've been gone
I wait for the day,
To be reunited with you
And be in no more pain.
Since you've been gone
I know you learned,
So many things
I can't comprehend
Since you've been gone
Your Earning your wings,
Flying like an eagle 
High Above the trees.
Since you've been gone
Your traveling the sky,
Swinging on stars
Climbing mountains so high.
Since you've been gone
I want you to know,
I love you more
Than you will ever know.
Since you've been gone
I look forward to see
we are once again reunite
As mother and son should be! 
I Love You Billy!!!
MOM

'm gonna dream of you
It will be tonight
Cant wait for that dream
Coz you'll hug me tight 
You'll tell me how sorry u are
That you had to leave
You'll beg me to stop crying
And to try not to grieve
But I won't be crying 
I'll be happy & content 
I'll hug you & kiss you
And pretend you never went
Please let me dream of you
I won't want to wake 
I'll stay in my bed
For as long as it takes
I want this pain to stop
I want this grieving to cease
When I dream of you
I'll just stay asleep

                       I Mention Him



Not to make you uncomfortable,
He's my son, I should be able to talk about him.

Not to dwell,
He will forever be my son, part of my life, my heart.

Not to make you feel guilty,
He is a child just like your own, but he's in Heaven.

Not to bring you down,
It brings me joy to speak of him fondly.

Not to get attention,
He exists in my life just as your topics of conversation exists in yours.

Not to gain sympathy,
Believe you me, I wish I did not have to speak on him the past tense.

Not to bring you down,
My grief is lifelong, my healing is in the only life he has now, his mommy.

Not to rub it in your face,
I would never wish this on ANYONE!

Not to make it about me,
I am just another parent trying to speak of my kids the way you do yours.

Not to suck you into my world,
Your world is just as important to me.

Not to distract you,
I want to hear how your life is going, your happiness is relevant.

Not to take away from the conversation,
Yet life as well as death is a part of common conversation.

Not to make my life seem more important than yours,
I am my own person in my own journey and I share what is in my heart just as you do.

Not to remind you of your own grief,
We all walk our own paths and stumble as all humans do, we should pick each other up.

Not to garner your support,
Everyone gives whatever they can to enrich the lives of the ones they care for.

Not to remind you,
No one needs to be reminded of the loss of a child.

Not to haunt you,
It sucks, it truly does but not speaking of him haunts those who love him.

Lost, confused, and wandering about trying to figure out how to live without you. Thank God for those who stick by my side, helping me, encouraging me, and simply "being there" for me whileI stumble along this lonely, frightening path  . One step, one day, one hour, sometimes one minute at a time............I plod along trying to figure this all out. Living without you is like living with only a fraction of my heart and soul!

What is said about the eyes is so very true,
The sadness does not go away, since the day I lost you.

My eyes hold a sadness that only some can see,
The ones who have lost a child, the ones like me.

I can tell how thy are feeling through those vacant eyes,
As they too have lost.... their beautiful child.

Anita Halas - January,8,2014

एक बरस बीत गया 
झुलासाता जेठ मास 
शरद चांदनी उदास 
सिसकी भरते सावन का 
अंतर्घट रीत गया 
एक बरस बीत गया 
सीकचों मे सिमटा जग 
किंतु विकल प्राण विहग 
धरती से अम्बर तक 
गूंज मुक्ति गीत गया 
एक बरस बीत गया 
पथ निहारते नयन 
गिनते दिन पल छिन 

एक बरस बीत गया|-

i have tried my best 
to go to sleep
but all i can think about
is you and me
flashbacks of our life
control my mind
every waking hour
the whole of my time
i miss you so much
i just don't no what to do
im lost in this world
my love without you

Only one wish I want on this day,
Is to have you here and forever stay.

I have always been told that you are not far,
If I look to the sky, there you are.

But I don't want to look up to the sky,
I just want you here, by my side.

I know my one wish will not come true,
So I will sit here today and cry for you.

Off in the distance there is a memory 
of faded laughter and smiles that use to be. 
I see you at night in the midst of my dreams. 
You're standing beside me; or so it seems. 
I reach for your hand but it fades away. 
I open my eyes, it's another day. 
Tears fall down my face, warm and wet, 
the memories of you I will never forget. 
(for Jessie)
By Julia Malcolm

I'm holding on to pieces,
I'm holding on to time,
I'm holding on to you,
Forever in my mind.

I'm holding on to pictures,
I'm holding on to memories,
I'm holding on to your things,
To keep you here with me.

I'm holding on to special places,
I'm holding on to your love,
I'm holding on to everything,
While you r up above.

The best of me is gone away,
It's never coming back,
I stand before you a mother,
Who's heart is broke in half.

The best of times are memories,
Thats all I can see,
I keep thinking of the past,
The way my life used to be.

The best and greatest gift to me,
Is when I became a Mom,
I had someone so special,
Now my gift is gone.

The best of me was broken,
The day my baby died,
Everything was ripped apart,
Only pieces left inside.
By Lisa McCann

•:*:• ♥•:*: •:*:• ♥•:*: •:*:• ♥•:*: •:*:• ♥•:*: •:*:• ♥•:*:

Never a day passes that I do not remember.
Yet, I must admit that it becomes
more difficult with passing time
To retrieve from my memory
The precise cadence of your laugh,
The intricate design of your features,
The spring in your step.
•:*:• ♥•:*:
But never a day passes that I do not remember.
I remember in the absence of things,
The cheerfulness,
The beauty,
The energy,
The passion you brought to life,
The empty seat at the dinner table.
I remember because I hurt for things that are no more.
•:*:• ♥•:*:
And never a day passes that I do not remember.
I remember in the presence of things,
The photographs,
The funny expression,
The quick step on the back stairs,
Your favorite sandwich,
The colours of life you enjoyed,
The love stamped indelibly on my heart.
•:*:• ♥•:*:
Sounds grow faint,
Visions fade.
Sometimes I am frustrated by that,
Then I remember that your memory
Pulsates in every beat of my heart:
Love keeps it alive.
•:*:• ♥•:*:
Never a day passes that I do not remember.
And quite often
When I remember
I cry.

•:*:• ♥•:*: •:*:• ♥•:*: •:*:• ♥•:*: •:*:• ♥•:*: •:*:• ♥•:*:
copyright Rev. Allen G. Downey

If I lost my leg, I would be an amputee and everyone would see it, and know it, and people would help me adjust to a brand new way of walking, working, and living. When I lose part of my heart, because  my brokenness is not always visible, people only know it happened if I tell them, and it's easy for them to "forget" and "assume that all is okay", so they don't remember to help me adjust to a brand new way of living without all of my heart. The ongoing pain from the loss of my child is often to the point of bearableness, but because others cannot openly and readily see the wound, life goes on as usual for them and  I am left struggling to find how to breathe, how to eat, how to sleep, how to think, how to get up in the morning, how to function. When my heart is broken I need help and support, but knowing how and where to find that is often so very hard!

- Donna

 

its been a bad day for me today
I have done nothing but cry
i asked god some questions
and most importantly I asked ( WHY )
why you were taken from me
when our life was complete
but now I am all alone
suffering unbelievable grief
every morning I awake
im hoping this is all a dream
then reality hits home
all i want to do is scream
I never thought it would end like this
I thought we would always be together
I wanted to grow old with you
and be with you forever and ever

No one loses a child the way a mother loses one.  I was the one who first felt life, carried it and protected it, nourished it, sacrificed my body for him, held him first in my heart, then first into my arms. We were not only connected through flesh, but on levels so deep, you really have nothing to compare it to metaphysically. It is a love so raw, and so elemental that is just present - just there from the beginning.  There is a link  that cannot be replicated. No one understands a grieving mother except for another grieving mother. No one else can begin to understand that void that surrounds me, shadows me, haunts me. My child's screams that  I can no longer answer,  His body I can no longer grab and embrace,  his tearsI can no longer dry,  his hurts that  I can no longer make better. They have become my own unanswered screams, our bodies that have become un-embraceable, my tears that can never be dried and  hurt that never stops. There are constant reminders of whatI live without, and must live without until I die.  I can be never whole again, never fully present, because a piece of my heart and soul left with my child's last breath."

Sometimes I catch a glimpse
In softened waves of blue
My child, my heart, when I see a smile
I can't help but think of you

Sometimes these waves fill oceans
And feelings string on every shore
A collection of each memory
And in every way I wish for more

Sometimes I watch for answers
Because each day I call to you
I ask for faith and courage
And strength to help me through

Sometimes I ask for bravery
Like dolphins in the deep
Because time moves oh so slowly
And sometimes the road is steep

Sometimes I want to scream
This was not what I had planned
Why you ever suffered
A mom can't understand

Sometimes I hear your laughter
And remember you at play
But my child I always miss you
Not sometimes, but every single day

 KNOW YOU ARE WITH ME
I know you are with me every single day
I know you are never that far away
I know you miss me, like I miss you
I know you are watching my life through
I know you are around I feel your love
I know you are settled in heaven above
I know we will be together again
I know you are with me through my heartache
I know you are ok, and soon I will be too
I know you are there, I feel your presence
I know you are doing ok, up above in heaven
by Debbie bellis 

FOR A MOMENT I laughed today, such a simple thing, for a moment I had not a care; For just a moment I forgot my loss, for a moment, your mem'ry wasn't there. For a moment the sun peeked thru the clouds, and for a moment there was no rain. For just a moment I felt whole once more, for a moment I didn’t feel any pain. But then your face came back into view, for a moment my heart ceased to beat. And the moment of laughter was gone, the world no longer looked sweet. Will I ever again long to wake in the dawn with you , will I run to each moment with joy?
How can I ever get through this sorrow without you, my sweet precious boy? I turn to the photo, standing silently by, it was summer when you were a child, You’re laughing, I don’t remember just why, but for a moment, I once again smile. 

 When you died, I felt a part of me burn in flames with you. Each day I rose and watched in disbelief as the world kept on turning without you being in it. How could the world go on I wondered? Did it not realise that you were gone? Each day my heart grew a little heavier as I watched life still swirling around me. I watched people laughing and loving and moving on with their lives. I sat and I watched. I became paralysed by my grief. I ached for the dreams I had of my future with  you,my precious child that will never fruitify now. My greatest fear was soon becoming my reality- the world was letting your memories fade away day by day as I watched helplessly. How could I be the only one to remember a person who shone so brightly , a person who loved so deeply and was loved as much by many in return?
Then I decided that your light would continue to shine on through me. I would keep its glow alive through my memories and through acts of kindness done in your name. acts you  would have done had you been here. acts that would reflect your beautiful soul. Now each time I reach out to someone in your name, I feel you with me. Each time I share your story, I feel your smile in my heart. I feel the warmth of your spirit watching over me and loving me as I travel forward on this broken road with a broken heart. I know as long as I live , your meories will live too. You will never be forgotten. Your light will continue to shine here through me. I will honour your light and love, now forever more.

I find an old photograph 
and see your smile. 
As I feel your presence anew, 
I am filled with warmth 
and my heart remembers love. 
I read an old card 
sent many years ago 
during a time of turmoil and confusion. 
The soothing words written then 
still caress my spirit 
and bring me peace. 

I remember who you used to be 
the laughter we shared 
and wonder what you have become. 
Where are you now, 
Where did you go, 
When the body is left behind 
and the spirit is released to fly? 

Perhaps you are the morning bird 
singing joyfully at sunrise, 
or the butterfly that dances 
so carelessly on the breeze 
or the rainbow of colors 
that brightens a stormy sky 
or the fingers of afternoon mist 
delicately reaching over the mountains 
or the final few rays of the setting sun 
lighting up the skies 
edging the clouds with a magical glow. 

I miss your being 
but I feel your presence, 
In whatever form you choose to take, 
however you now choose to be. 

Your spirit has become for me 
a guardian angel on high 
guiding, advising, and watching over me. 

I remember you. 
You are with me 
and I am not afraid though I still struggle when I think of "Why"