Dekemi....Not Kemi,not Adekemi and not even Ade. I am yet to meet anyone fondly called Dekemi. You were as unique as your name is. Dad called you Adeeee..

You broke the news of your diagnosis to me on the first Sunday of this year. Little did I know 7 months down the line we would be here getting ready to lay your body to rest.

I have tried to make sense of not just your illness but your passing. I can only find answers that would NOT make me crazy in the word of God.

I have reflected, pondered, kept still, prayed, cried, screamed and displayed almost every emotion possible between the first Sunday day of January and now.

I prayed and worked hard for God to heal you...after all you are the only sister and friend that has stayed with me for 50 years. I cannot put in words what you meant to me. You had your way of making me never feel alone ... no matter what I maybe going through.

I hated what the medicines did to you and your personality....Very recently I realised that I was beginning to lose you but I refused to let go. I taught somehow somewhere God will heal you.

God knows I dreaded so much your suffering and eventually dying. I have since learnt only after your passing the meaning of the word Kabiyesi.....Slowly spoken "Ka bi e o si." The unquestionable God. Three of my friends said this of God to me after your passing. Lord not only are you the unquestionable God. You are also the God that sees the end from the beginning and you know best.

I therefore choose today to concentrate on the good that God did for me gave me when he , gave me a sister 50 years ago. She remained my best friend until her passing. When I say best I really do mean the very best .....We played together, we fought, we made up, started school on the same day, we went to university in the same year and we graduated in the same year. Though we were not twins my mum kept being asked if we were when we were little!.

Dekemi was quite gifted in not holding grudges and I thoroughly enjoyed her company. Though she lived in Kent it was closer to me than other places where I lived in Redbridge.

We have such different personalities though .... I really secretly wished I was as bold as her. I wished I was not shy ...as she had no shy bone in her.

Anytime I get something nice since we became adults I always make sure you do the same. It just not seems right if she did not have what I had.

D .....I loved sharing everything with you...You advised me how to teach and coach my children.....The teacher gift in you helped us so much in the Olubodun family. You always set a standard that we all wanted to follow.

Despite being a single mother for over 18years you were the one amongst us that was most jovial and most upbeat. You loved the word of God so much that we cannot talk about something without you making mention of God.

People often wondered how you manage to excel in life and I have always known that it was the Love you have for Jesus. What you went through in your adult life only served to draw you closer to God. You were always smiling or laughing about something. You also loved taking photographs. We recognised you as the "Peter Obe" at any gathering ...so when we need pictures we get you to send them to us.

In every family we have all sorts of attributes. You were the peace maker. God knows we need one in every family. Oh did you love dancing...No one could beat you at it in our family. You came to Christ a few months after me when you came visiting me at uni. Since then she loved praising and worshiping God. Thank God she is now spoilt for choice where she is.

It is not uncommon for me to call Dekemi and she answers the phone singing. When Mum get s me to call .....her habit of answering the call singing was so reassuring to Mum.

When I call her and say show wa !! 9 times out of 10 her answer was “I am blessed”

Today I knew we could not wear all black...Dekemi loved colours. It was mainly gold lipstick, gold and brown hair, etc. She was so vibrant...

At one time I am sorry Lord I was really upset that Dekemi had to go through a lot before she passed but you allowed the following to happen in 6 months:

You allowed me to show my sister how much I loved her,

You allowed her to see how much you cared for her by the generosity of so many people including people who never knew her.

You allowed Dekemi to make her peace with God ...ensuring that she does not miss heaven

People fasted and prayed for her healing, people gave of their time and money.

You allowed me to truly reflect at what really is important in life.

I truly began to appreciate all the blessing of when she was not ill.

I began to see how important relationships were to my sanity. She was my sister for a reason she was a friend for a reason.

Dekemi's attitude during her illness was most brave she NEVER gave up on God and his word. Not one day did she turn your back on God.

I have never ever in my life never met someone so close to me who faced such adversity and remained steadfast in her relationship with Christ...Thank you Lord for the experience of witnessing this with my own sister.

Dekemi had a lot of things good to say during our many many conversations together .....here were a few ..."am paraphrasing" and please note she did not only say these when she was ill.

Sister Tinu ...."Your have a good husband"" she calls him in-law ....Mi o le gbagbe in-law ....meaning I should not waste my time expressing any misgivings I have about someone she see as almost perfect....orishi rishi

Sister Tinu ...."Eye yi owo ago si eyin"" ...meaning let bygones be bygones...whenever i bring up a matter that upsets me

Sister Tinu ... Mio o tii se quiet time mi...ma ba yin soro later .....meaning I should get off the phone she needs to spend time with God.

Sister Tinu ... Mio o raye oro kota doti .....meaning let's just keep to wholesome talks

sister Tinu ... Olorun oni je ki e ni health challenge (something she said frequently when she became ill).....Eeni se aisan.....

Even though I still hope I will wake up from a bad dream, I am praying that God would let today bring a celebratory closure to Dekemi’s passing. The thought that here on earth I will never again talk, laugh, play and cry with Dekemi sadden me more than I feel I can take. Dekemi was a sister and a friend I never taught I could ever loose.. I could never imagine this....but God in his infinite Wisdom knew this. I am not saying He caused this I can only say he allowed it. I know because Dekemi knew Jesus Christ of Nazareth she is in a better place where she no longer experiences any more pain and any more sorrow. I must confess that is my main consolation. I know we will meet again if I keep the faith. I will keep the faith by the Grace of Almighty God. My other consolation is her beautiful daughters Seun and Tobi. God had blessed me with them more than they themselves can ever realise. I see Dekemi’s determination in Seun. I see her smile in Tobi. I see little bit of most of her features in them both. People frequently mistook the 3 of them for sisters anyway! I screamed at God many times that I do not want the fortitude to bear the loss of my sister Dekemi.....ONLY because I taught he might just change his mind and extend her life...but he did not. Who am I to question you Kabiesi...just who am I.Today and since her passing I ask and continue to ask you God to forgive me and really give me the fortitude to bear my sister's loss. Dad in my opinion has not been the same since he heard of Dekemi’s passing. Dekemi’s passing has being a big blow to us all as a family. When I say loss I mean loss to this terrestrial world as I know she has transitioned to the Celestial. Had I known that your time to leave us was drawing near I would have gone on Holidays ...many Holidays with you...I would have spent even more time with you. I would have laughed and joked with you more ....if only I had known. I know the bible says we should not mourn as though we have no hope.....I say I am not mourning as one without hope.....I mourn mainly because I really to miss you Dekemi. I miss my Sister , I really do miss my friend. God Almighty I pray that you fill the void that my sister passing has left me with. Lord help me and everyone here to truly celebrate the life of Dekemi today and until we meet her again. Oh death where is your sting? Oh death where is your victory? Dekemi will have a new body at the resurrection as she is only asleep as she slept in Christ at St Thomas's hospital in the early hours of July 21st I was in the room at that time..Ironically at the same hospital where she was born. Dekemi loves doing things in style ....who knows maybe she planned that as well. You have a lot to answer for when we meet again Dekemi....just don't forget to call me Sister Tinu...I am still one year older than you even though you got to heaven first!Rest in peace my Dear Sister,... Dekemi Sun re. Sun re aburo