My husband Alex was a very wonderful, gentle, kind, creative, positive, smart and prolific individual. He had a great sense of humor and was a gifted writer. He was a great husband and father of our three children. He was there so much for me and our children. He filled our home with such beautiful music – new age, classical and other types. And thru the years, not a year went by that I wasn’t learning new things about him. He had done so many things, e.g., he learned to lasso. The latest thing I learned about him was that he used to help a friend in Hawaii make ukuleles.
He was also an electronics/electrical whiz. He didn’t know everything but he certainly knew much and sought to learn what he needed to know to solve a problem. .He loved the challenge.
Alex was an individual who was not afraid to depart from conventional, traditional ways. He questioned, he was a trail blazer. He was unique and creative. Later in life, he was not a 9-5 kind of guy. That’s why he loved being a marketing consultant; that role was so perfect for him – he could choose his hours for the most part and which business to connect with. He sought start ups companies with unusual products. When he proposed to me many years ago, he did not propose the conventional way, “Will you marry me?” Instead, he asked, “Would you like to put 'CHE' before your last name?” You see, my maiden name was Ng.
Prior to his bout with pneumonia, our daily lives were proceeding as usual. I was busy doing my thing as a psychologist, and he was doing his thing as a marketing consultant, as well as learning to use his new Droid smart phone.
Also Alex was eagerly looking forward to teaching sailing again this spring season with the City of Oakland’s boating programs on Lake Merritt and the Estuary and skippering day charters on our sailboat, Hulakai, on SF Bay. Two years ago he became a nationally certified sailing instructor, enabling him to provide sailing instruction anywhere in the US.
One group of his students was a family with two sons, whom Alex had given six or so sailing lessons. Pat, the mother, called last week to ask Alex’s advice about the family’s buying a dingy and was saddened to hear that Alex had passed away. She said, “He had a positive attitude and had so much enthusiasm . . . the family had a ball with him.”
Sarah, the manager of the boating programs, was saddened to learn of Alex’s passing. “He is very fondly remembered by the staff for . . . his humor, stories, energy, innovation . . . and his ability to connect with each new sailor to find the way to best connect them with a love of sailing.”
Yes, Alex believed in making people feel good, feel comfortable. He truly cared. He was charismatic, he lit up a room. It is hard to believe that he was shy and quiet growing up.
After graduation from UCLA with a BS in Engineering, Alex was a radar officer in the Air Force at remote sites. While he was in my hometown, San Antonio, TX, for his first permanent orders, we met quite by accident and later dated a few times, vowing to meet again some day. Which we did and while I was attending college in NYC and he was stationed in PA. After discharge from the AF, he settled in Hawaii. After being apart one and a half years, he proposed, we became engaged and eventually I went to HI. We needed to find out if we really wanted to get married.
That time in HI greatly impacted our lives then and continued to influence us for many years. While there, Alex was an engineer with Kentron Hawaii (working with the Pacific Missile Range) and he decided to apply to biz schools to learn more about management. Of course, Stanford was his top choice.
When we got married in Texas, the “Hawaiian Wedding Song” was sung during the wedding ceremony and the floral theme was Hawaiian, as it is today at this memorial service for Alex.
When Alex came to Stanford to study for his MBA, he made many friends; some are here today. Prof. Shallenberger’s course on entrepreneurship and small businesses especially interested him. We loved the area and later settled here in the SF Bay area – Menlo Park, Cupertino, Portola Valley and Oakland.
Alex and I lived a very full and active life. Over the years, Alex worked with many companies, but he had a very keen interest in working with small companies with extraordinary products – unique products and leading edge technologies. Some of his roles in the business world were as product manager, vice president, president, partner and consultant. Two years ago, he wrote “Splitting the Second” in which he recounted many of his experiences with Omega sports timing systems when he was President of his company, Seagull, Inc. He was excited about the products, the businesses he was connected with. He had so much verve, energy and enthusiasm for them. At home, I could see that he enjoyed, relished his work.
And he believed that the relationships/friendships with the people he worked with were of prime importance. Thru the years, he also valued his many friendships and connections with those from his MBA class and classes earlier and later. He also valued his many friendships in the sailing and racket ball worlds and friendships due to contact with those in our children’s schools and the sports they participated in. He also valued connecting with his own family of origin and extended family.
Alex and I were somewhat like the Smothers Brothers – he being the funny one and I the quiet, straight one. We always believed – even this year – that we were complementary to each other – we were the AJ team, the Alex Jan team that tackled life’s many tasks together and at times separately. We had so much togetherness and shared such great experiences and adventures.
Some of our mutual interests were raising our three children and staying connected with them, sailing, skiing for many years and then the switch to snowboarding, eating out, trying new and different restaurants, seeing movies and plays, going on walks, exercising at the gym and traveling. Alex especially enjoyed babysitting our adorable grandchildren, Teo and Tessa. Alex loved playing tennis and later racket ball.
Key was that Alex and I facilitated each other’s growth; we gave each other permission to grow; we supported each other’s interests and cultivated our mutual interests. Of course, we went through some ups and downs; our lives were imperfect, but which relationships haven’t had difficulties at times. The main thing was that we were there for each other, no matter what.
I love and miss Alex very much. He was a wonderful husband, partner, friend, skipper and father of our children. I am truly honored to have been his wife and partner.
I wish to thank each of you for attending this memorial service for Alex. And thank you to our children for doing so much of the preparation for today. Also thanks to Don and Susan Allen for their ideas and help. Thanks also to Eliot Terborgh for the post on the GSB MBA ’67 list serve to let classmates know of Alex’s passing. Thanks to Rev. Mark Goodman-Morris, who facilitated this service being here in this beautiful church. Alex and our three children were baptized here. And thanks to Star Williams and Barbary Grant for their beautiful music.
