About 20 years ago, I got home on a Friday night, exhausted from a long week at work. I ordered in a ridiculous amount of Japanese food and got into my sweats, looking forward to finally relaxing. The food arrived and all I wanted to do was pig out, tune out, watch TV and go to sleep.
As I dangled a tempura shrimp over my mouth, my cell phone rang. It was Allan. I ignored it. I was tired and hungry and figured I could talk to him later, but I had a pang of guilt. Persistent as he was, he called right back again. Before I had a second bite, I answered and Allan said he was downtown in night court and wasn't enjoying being there alone. He said it was going very slowly and he didn't know when it would be his turn and there was nothing to do but wait ... so I asked if he wanted me to meet him and wait together. He was so happy and promised me dessert in Little Italy, so off with the sweats, goodbye feast, suit and heels back on, and off to night court I dashed in a taxi.
When I arrived at court, I found Allan not clean shaven, wearing a trench coat with safety pins holding up the epaulets on the shoulders, a tweed sports jacket with no buttons, hiking shoes and corduroy pants. He explained that his client was a young woman arrested for DUI during an accident (who had actually switched w/her boyfriend, the actual driver) and that her parents were referred to Allan and called when he was about to call it a day and go home with Magic, the dog. He didn't really want to take the case, so he asked for such a high fee, he was sure they would refuse, but, to his surprise, they accepted it, so there he was, dropping off Magic and with no time to change -- heading into NYC.
While waiting our turn, Allan had the time of his life, making fun of people in the courtroom and telling me jokes, not exactly in a stage whisper. I kept reminding him that the judge was not very tolerant and his client's parents were behind us and it wasn't cool to be yucking it up in that situation. Instead, he was sure the parents were so shocked they would never remember any of it and they'd say afterwards that he was in a pinstripe suit. My reminders were useless. He continued to joke about people we saw, so I finally said, 'Yeah, but at least they have buttons!"
When it was his turn, he did a great job for his client, getting an amazing result -- basically saying that sentencing her to jail after keeping her in lock up before sentencing was like double jeopardy and the judge sort of bought it! Clients were thrilled and we left hastily to go for dessert.
Allan's attache case looked like what a 5th grader in the 1950s carried -- black faux leather, overstuffed, with rickety clasps. It flew open in the hallway, dumping all his papers on the floor, not once, but twice, before we made it out of the building. He was convinced that anyone seeing us would think I was the lawyer and he was my client, the defendant.
After that, whenever we made fun of anyone, it would end with, "Sure, but don't be such a big shot. At least HE has buttons" and we laughed like the first time.