Happy Birthday my sweet Alysha Dawn!!! I hope it is a fun filled day in Heaven for you. Today you would have been 30 years old, the last baby I would ever have. Always so sweet, kind, and so very determined. You had it all planned out what you wanted to do with your life. I'm so sorry I didn't ever tell you how proud I was to have had the honor of being your Mom. You were a beautiful little girl and turning into a beautiful young woman. I am so sorry it turned out like it did. We are learning life's lessons and don't like them much.  Dr.'s think they are always right,her mistake and it cost you and everyone of that loves you. I hope that you and with Trevor Michael and the 2 of you are enjoying all that Heaven has to offer. I cannot stay awake sweet child, I will write more tomorrow.   Always please, know that I am so proud of who you were. I think of you everyday with love and longing to see you, touch you, hug you, and hear your voice one more time. I love and miss you ....Mom!!
   

     I guess you were here last night. Dad told me He woke me up and asked me who I was talking to and I said "Alysha". He said 'well tell her Hi". I don't remember any of it which is upsettting. I do in my heart know you were here. Jayden and Maria heard footsteps like Dad and I have several times.  It is you checking in on us. Both girls screamed they were so scared.  just so wish what we talked about.  So now you and Trevor are together again. We ate all a mess because he went to Heaven. I wanted him to be happy so badly and I thought if he just had a little more time to prove to Krystal that he could and would be who she wanted and needed to love and be a family. Sissy it is so hard to see your sister so broken so devastated and angry, I know how she feels cause losing you has nearly destroyed me. You know how  I loved my Trevor Michael. It is almost to hard to bear. I know you will love and take care of each other, and you are both with my awesome God. We miss you both. Sometimes it is so overwhelming that I just want to quit it all. The pain is so deep. I didn't want to ever go down this lonely heart wrenching road of grief. I tried so hard to get justice for you and Dylie. I can't do it anymore. I hope you understand that I have to let it go.....I didn't really expect to win it. I do have copies of expert witnesses that say what I knew all along. I have to lay down now, please tell my precious grandson that I miss him and love him forever and always, just as I do you. Neither one of you shouldn't have left us so soon. I love you both ........Mom/Grammy 

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If,if, if'.... The largest word in the English language. My mind screams "if" almost all the time. If I had told you all these things that race throughout my crazy mind when you were here to hear me say them. If I had told you every day every night, every time we parted for a while that I love you with all my heart that I was so proud of you, that you were so very special. that you were the most amazing daughter anyone could want. Ififififi. Would I carry this constant wish that I had said these things and so many more to you when I had the chance?  I know you knew that I loved you, that all of us loved you. But it is not enough for me, I need to tell you so many things but it is too late. I hope you can hear me now. I wasn't taught the I love you words as far as I can remember. My family didn't tell each other that or any other words of praise. I wanted it to be different for my babies, I wanted to make sure each one of you knew that you were loved and honored. that you each were a gift from our Heavenly Father. Sissy I am so sorry that I didn't say I love You enough, I didn't tell you how proud I was of you--for just being the kind, sweet loving child and then young woman that you were. I can't remember if I told you that I was proud of you for finishing your GED, taking the CNA class and finishing it with a high score. Our little old people had nothing but praise for the care you gave them when we worked at Vintage.  You touched a lot of them and made them feel special. rubbing lotion to their old,tired aching backs or feet, taking the time to fold their bedspreads just like they did themselves when they were independent, hanging up their clothes at night, and then little Leo who loved you so much. He walked all that way into the funeral home to see your face one more time. he had to stop every few feet to wipe the tears and blow his nose. He was so grumpy with most of the other CNAs but he loved you!  You were special and you were loved. When I began to write this all I could focus on was "IF " You are absent from your body,not here that I can see, but still managed to make my pain subside just by remembering the person you were. You might not be here in body but you still have that "it's gonna be OKAY Mom" effect. My tears have dried for now, and I think I can go to bed and actually sleep without the silent tears that have become a part of my life. I LOVE YOU Sissy Dawn, I thank God for the blessing of having you loaned to me for almost 22 years. Of course I will always miss you, cry for you, but it is like the song The Dance. better to have the pain of losing you, than to have never had you at all.  I remembered the other day how you loved Garth Brooks' song The River. Wish I could have had it played on your service day. just couldn't think at that time.  I love you and of course miss you so very much my sweet child----------------Your Mom

Happy Birthday Lysha Dawn! 

Forever in our hearts, never fottgen, We Love You

I miss you so much! You were the sweetest, most caring person I ever had the priveledge to know! Every thing seems to have changed since you were taken from us, and not all of it has been for the best.When you were taken, the lights all became dimmer. Music doesn't have the same sound anymore. I know better than to question God, but this is still so hard! I think about you all the time and I know that you're in heaven smiling down. Whenever I hear a song that we used to listen to, I know that it's a sign from you. I really enjoy these signs, so please don't stop. I know it gets harder for me as time passes. I always thought it was supposed to get easier but it doesn't. I'm sorry I haven't watched your babies grow up. I'm sorry that I haven't been there to help your mom. She misses you most, you know. You were her soul mate! I never knew what that meant until I had my girls. I wish they would have had the honor of knowing you. But rest assured, they will grow up knowing about you. You were an angel for us for almost 22 years, and now you are an angel in heaven for eternity. I read a book right after you passed that helped me get through those tough times. It told me that when I die, those that I lost would be there to welcome me. That made me happy. I might have to go an entire lifetime here on earth without you, but for you, in the eternal glory of heaven, this will only be a moment. So, Sissy Dawn, I'll see you soon! I love you!

my mommy was crazy she listened to rap and got me in to it her real name was mommy she got me happy meals all the time when we would make play dough i ha to make it in my pull up i was spoiled roten i got a esy bake a sucker make everythimg in he world i got tooken to worlds of fun what i liked the best is me and her had are own pool it was awesome and my last birthday with her she got  a trampoline i had it about 3 to 4 years and then i had to throw it away it made me mad but the most thing that was speishel was she wasnt a one of a kind she was speishel the funny thing was that my meme and grandpa lived right next to us and i snuk over to there house and my mom got pregnet with a baby and i wanted a sister and i hv a brouther i got mad i slamed the door of the hospital and said i wanted a sister and everybody was laughing i didnt think t was funny cause i wanted a sister gosh darnet well thats pretty much it have a nice day by   

                                                  written by Jaybug with love