The Breadthe of Daker
Friday September 28, 2012 am
Gracey had a virus for about five days early in the last week of September. Lyndsey finally started feeling better after 7 days of enduring the virus later that week. Then Dake started showing the first signs of the virus. It affects the respiratory system with cough, stuffy nose, and cough accompanied by fever and sore throat. Lyndsey was hit hard and was in bed for 5 days straight with regaining her strength slowly. Sickness seemed to be extra hard for him. We had to protect his respiratory carefully because of the muscular dystrophy. Lyndsey hibernated on the second floor through her virus being careful to stay away from others. The Lysol and bleach had been working overtime at our house.
Saturday September 28,2012 pm
Dake had a rough day and he quickly got worse. We talked with two of his doctor’s nurses getting medications to stay on top of his symptoms. He is having a cough which makes him have a hard time to breath. Coughing is a scary symptom for us. So far we have given him two treatments today which have helped for a short time.
Saturday September 29, 2012 am
After a rough night, Dake was much better but David had to catch up on some sleep. Lynn took over early this morning and Lyndsey took over her every day schedule with carpool and Gracey. Lynn had an art show but with everyone under the weather she wanted to be home with family. The next few days continued to be somewhat challenging because of the strong meds Dake was on and sleep wasn’t easy. Of course when Dake doesn’t sleep usually David doesn’t either.
Wednesday October 3,2012 pm
Dake was still struggling with his breathing. We went to the pulmonologist and we really thought he would put him in the hospital. The doctor changed some medicine and added to what he had already. He was exhausted from labored breathing and coughing on a 24 hr. basis. David, Lyndsey and Lynn rotated staying up with him comforting him during the difficult times. Phillip came in to help that night. This was new territory to us for his disease with new medicines and new concerns. We didn’t want Dake to be too worried even though it was a very scary situation.
Thursday October 4, 2012
The new medicine helped greatly. Dake was starting to feel better. The doctor told us three breathing treatments are okay. This helped him with his cough.
Wednesday October 10, 2012
Dake was feeling much better. He went all day without needing a breathing treatment and recovery from the cough looked successful. We had our weekend planned and were looking forward to getting away. Lynn had an art show in the Mountains on Friday and Saturday. We had the cabin for the weekend. Gracey had gymnastics on Saturday morning and Lyndsey had scheduled to take the GRE on Saturday so they were staying in town for the weekend.
Thursday October 11, 2012
Dake went across the street to Galou and Pops’ house in the morning after the home health ladies got him up and moving. He already had his stuff together for our trip to the mountains. While he was across the street, he asked Galou several times to rub his legs and feet. This was nothing out of the ordinary especially in the cooler months. He told her they were a little sore when she asked but it would be okay. Galou said he was in a good mood all morning.
Gracey came home from school about 3:00 pm. Dake was watching a movie at his computer. Lynn and Gracey started packing for the trip. When Gracey went to grab something from the laundry room, she noticed Dake coughing. Gracey went upstairs and told Lynn she thought Dake needed a breathing treatment. Lynn could tell Gracey was concerned. After Dake had a breathing treatment, he stopped coughing and everything seemed fine.
David and Phillip got home from work around 4:00 pm. During Dake’s normal routine in the bathroom, he coughed once or twice but it quickly subsided. We finished packing, loaded the paintings and things into the middle seat of the van, and we were ready to go. We were Gatlinburg bound by 5:15 pm or so. David was driving with Lynn right beside him. Dake and Phillip were in the back and mountains of paintings were in between. We had been on 565 about 20 minutes when he started coughing again. Phillip asked if he was okay and he said yes. Another 5 minutes and the coughing hadn’t stopped. Phillip asked Lynn for the breathing treatment machine and asked if Dake should have a treatment. Dake didn’t want it at first but knew he needed it. The treatment lasted several minutes. The cough never actually diminished any.
A couple of minutes later David was pulling over at a gas station and Phillip had the third treatment of the day started. We were about 15 minutes east of Huntsville on 565 headed toward Scottsboro during Friday night rush hour. At the gas station Lynn hoped out and got in the back to help Dake while David went inside for some water. Lynn wondered if we should just go to the Hospital. “No!..cough..NO!” Dake responded. Lynn continued the treatment and patting his chest. Then Lynn looked to Phillip and said “Phillip go get David and lets go to the Hospital. “But..cough..okay..cough...yes...hospital...cough...please...just make it stop.” David and Phillip closed the backdoors of the van and jump in the front. We pull out of the gas station to meet a red light. “Hurry please..cough...I can’t breath...cough...” Lynn told Phillip to call 911 and David to turn his flashers on and GO! Finally the light turns green and David takes off. Phillip explained to the 911 operator what was happening and where we were. We were close enough that we could get to the hospital faster than an ambulance could get to us through the rush hour traffic. David didn’t slow down and the van’s horn was blaring. “Mom..cough...I’m going to...cough...pass out...cough...please hurry...cough...I’m scared.” The 911 operator was helping with directions but refused to stay on the phone and transferred Phillip to the police department. Phillip quickly tried to explain but the cop on the other end was absolutely no help. We were on our own. Thankfully we weren’t far away.
Lynn was seriously struggling. There was little room and not enough hands. As we raced through downtown Huntsville Dake’s eyes rolled backward. He passed out from a lack of oxygen. Moments later we passed the Emergency room drive way. Regardless of the traffic David slung the van around and up to the doors. We yelled for help over and over as the van doors slung open and lift lowered. Could it have been any slower? Phillip jumped into get the chair moving on to the lift. It wouldn’t work. David reached an arm in to grab a back wheel. Phillip grabbed the other. One good yank and the chair began lowering to the ground. We couldn’t wait any longer. Phillip picked Dake up as he had so many times in the past; turned; and headed for the ER. A wheel chair, the metal detector, and swarms of helpless nurses were all passed up. Dake was in Cardiac arrest. His body was completely limp. David carried under Dake’s arms as a nurse finally got us to a bed. The frantic swarm of nurses wheeled him away and led us to a small family waiting room. Phillip got the keys from David and brought Lynn her phone from the van to call Lyndsey.
Lyndsey gets a call from her mom, hears Huntsville Hospital, and jumps in the car. She is stopped be a train. Reid is too far away but she’s got to call someone. With a single scroll of her contacts list Perry name appears. She calls him as he is getting out of the shower. “Let me put some cloths on and I’ll drive.” He said. She got to his house only to find out he was in our drive way. He called her back and told her not to move; he is coming to get her. Moments later Lyndsey and Perry were on their way to the hospital. Gracey was at Gymnastics and Galou was picking her up from the car pool.
Phillip parked the van and returned but there had still been no word. “I really need them to come tell us something” Lynn said. Moments later a nurse comes in. She says he has been revived and is in critical condition with a ventilator breathing for him. She leads us to the ER room to see him. The attending doctor asked what happened and needed to see his medication. Phillip went back to the van to get the medication and returned. Dake was alert but unable to comprehend why and where he was. It was hard. With the ventilator tube, we could not tell what he was saying. We tried our best to reassure him while they called his doctor. Finally the pulmonologist arrived and prescribed some medicine to help. However his “bedside manner” and positive outlook were greatly lacking. He gave us little to no hope.
Lyndsey and Perry arrived at the Hospital and were brought to the ER room with us. Seeing them lifted his spirits a bit. Lyndsey pulled out a pen and paper to let him write things since he couldn’t speak. Dake was uncomfortable and we all knew it. But there was little we could do. At one point Dake writes that his back hurts so we reach under do rub on it some. Come to find out he is laying on what looks like a cutting board. They used it to help transfer him but never remove it. You could see the relief in his face when we took it away.
He wanted to know what happen and where he was. He was scared, uncomfortable, and disoriented. At one point he looked over at his mom and mouthed; “I’m sorry”. Lynn wiped the tears from his eyes and comforted him. Lyndsey stepped away with tears to call Galou.
They finally considered him stable and told us they are moving him to an ICU. The pulmonologist wanted him in the Women’s and Children’s building. This meant a ride on the tram. Lynn and Lyndsey rode with Dake and the nurses on the tram. David Perry and I had to take the cars. Kyle, uncle Bob, Mimi, Phillip’s parents, Mark Whitt, and Ted Davis were all out in the waiting room and rode with us to the Women’s and Children’s building. They told us he would go to the 4th floor adult ICU in room 3. It took a couple phone calls to clear that up with the security guard and get visitor badges. Once up stairs we all met up with Lynn and Lyndsey. They got him settled in and all hooked up before they could let us back to see him.
The visiting hours had already passed but they were letting two of us back at a time to see him. Visiting hours were: 5:45 - 6:45 am, 9:00 - 10:00 am, 1:00 - 2:00 pm, 4:00 - 5:00 pm, and 8:00 - 9:00 pm. There was a Consultation room that most of us were hunkered down in.
Eventually Kyle, Uncle Bob, and Mimi went back to Tennessee. Perry drove Lyndsey and Phillip to Athens to be with Gracey. Lynn and David moved the paintings to the front seat and stayed in the van at the hospital. Thankfully we were headed out of town so we had all the cloths and things we needed. The nurses had Lynn’s and David’s numbers and contact them. Needles to say there was little to no sleep found through the night.
Friday October 12, 2012
Honestly we felt the prayers flow over us through the night. Lynn and David were there for the first visit at 5:45 am. Dake rested well through the night but had asked for Lynn. Lyndsey, Gracey, and Phillip headed to the hospital as soon as Lyndsey talk with Gracey's teachers that morning. The goal was to be there for the second visit at 9:00 am.
9:00 am
The doctor came in during the 9:00 am visit and said they are going to wean him off the ventilator over the next 36 hours. We knew that would be a challenge and wondered how he would handle it. The doctor didn’t have huge hope. After 36 hours we would see how he is and make decisions then on what to do next. While the pulmonary doctor was giving us worst case scenarios and little hope; the respiratory therapist has been very encouraging. Galou and Pops were able to come and see him which also helped.
2:00 pm
Daker’s pulse was elevated because (stupidly, it's a law) they had wrist restraints on him. He's upset that he has all the stuff on him. When Perry and Phillip came in the room he calmed down. The respiratory therapist said he was doing very well, all things considered. He was a fighter and hanging on. We just had to wait until they completely take him off the ventilator to know how he'll respond.
6:00 pm
We spent the first part of the day in the same Consultation room from last night. However the number of people had grown astronomically. Dake was loved and people were showing it. A security guard came by in the late afternoon between visiting sessions and said the administration was getting phone calls. We needed to move to the 1st floor lobby.
Gracey, Lyndsey, and Phillip went back to Athens for the night. Lynn and David were going to try staying in the ICU waiting room at the main building where there were recliners pillows and blankets.
Saturday October 13, 2012
He was nauseated and threw up early in the morning, which upset him.
11:00 am
It was a tough day. The doctors were weaning Dake off his medication to try and wake him up. He was more restless and difficult to handle physically, mentally, and emotionally. They were trying to make him more aware so he will try harder to breathe on his own. The more aware he was, the more scared he got because he realized what all was going on. He begged for Lynn to stay with him, but the doctor said no. Again, the waiting was hard especially when he is having such a hard time when we have to leave.
2:00 pm
The doctor has decided to give him more sedatives. He was very nervous and anxious this morning. They also decided to increase some oxygen after weaning him because he wasn't handling it very well. He only seems calm when they sedate him. A great deal of the family was there. We thought perhaps seeing so many people that he normally wouldn’t was making him concerned.
5:00 pm
He was resting for the late afternoon visit so we just watched him sleep.
As we crowded together between visits in the lobby our group continued to grow. The breadth of Dake’s impact was clearly evident. So evident in fact that they asked us to move again to another part of the lobby where we would less in the way.
9:00 pm
Lynn, David and Lyndsey went to see him. He cried when we walked in. They had to increase oxygen again. We rubbed and soothed him as best as possible. The night nurse is sweet to him. He asked for Phillip, his best friend. We turned on some music for him and he liked that. He still asked for Lynn during non-visiting hours. We hate that stupid rule. This was hard.
Hailey got Lynn and David a hotel room just down the road. The rest of the family went back to athens.
Uncle Mitch drove the Van back to Athens. Phillip rode home with him to help with directions.
Sweet Gracey finally came to terms with what all is happening
All of this was hard. The Holy Spirit was our Comforter. We needed reassurance of this over and over.
Sunday October 14, 2012
5:00 am
Perry took Phillip and Lyndsey to the hospital. The nurse called Lynn and David and said he was very agitated and upset. He's asking for Phillip and Lyndsey to come as well. He said he wanted the ventilator out NOW! So we told the nurses who didn’t understand. There was a big chance that he would not breathe on his own yet. We talked them into calling the doctor. Without question or comment the doctor said to start a morphine drip and the process of taking it out.
We all thought we were ready for whatever may happen. When Phillip and Lyndsey got there, he settled down but the ventilator was doing almost all of the work. In the hour and a half before they started the process Dake had only taken 23 small breaths of his own.
8:00 am
His ventilator is out. It came out sooner than expected because he was so uncomfortable with it. So far he's doing ok. He has a morphine drip which will depress his respiratory system but we're ok with that because we want him comfortable.
Dake’s first words: “I haven’t peed in three days.” Of course he had but with a catheter. He always dreaded the day he would need one. Now he's grateful it's there.
We are not sure how long this stage will last. He may become ok and go home, or he may not. We really didn't know but either way, we just want him at peace. He just now realizes how many people are praying and was overwhelmed. It meant so much!
The nurses finally opened their eyes and realized that Dake needed loved ones with him all day. They allowed Lynn or David or Lyndsey or Phillip or Perry with him all day and any visitors during visiting hours. Thank goodness.
Phillip spent over an hour with Dake that morning while Lynn and David took a break. As Dake rest he would occasionally wakeup and glance over to if someone…anyone was there. All it took was a look in the eyes of the man next to him for them both to feel the peace and love. The respect and honor in that friendship was mutual and ran very deep.
Dake saw many visitors from 1 to 2 pm and enjoyed the needed company. The amazing outpour from such awesome loved ones both friend and family was beyond words.
After that visit they gave him a sponge bath. All this activity wore him out so the 4 pm visit was a restful one.
Also, after seeing how he did that night, he might have been able to move into a regular room the next day. Dake was on some good morphine that night.
Monday October 15, 2012
Gracie and Brittany are going to get makeup/homework from school before arriving at the hospital.
Mimi, Phillip, and Lyndsey head to the hospital for the 9:00 am visit.
David called Lyndsey on the way to the Hospital. They had spoken to the doctor. He said it was only a matter of time. He thought it would be sometime that day. We spent the entire morning right next to his bed. He loved music and to worship. What better way to enter eternity than in song. Lyndsey curled up next to him sang 10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman. One song after another, It was a beautiful but bitter moment.
12:08 Dake passed and now walks with Jesus. Tears of both sadness and joy; embraces of relief and grief all fill the room. Perry says a prayer. Dake had said he wanted to donate his eyes to Phillip so after the family left the room the Doctors began preparations. Everyone returned to Athens and the family headed to the funeral home to make arrangements. By God's grace and mercy, by the strength of others, and by the love for Dake; the next breath was taken and step made.
Tuesday October 16, 2012
Visitation was Tuesday 6 to 9 pm.
Yet again the breadth of Dake’s impact is clearly evident. He deeply loves and is loved by so many wonderful people.
Wednesday October 17, 2012
"Celebration" is Wednesday at 11 am at Limestone Chapel Funeral Home. Burial at Lynnwood Cemetery in Lynnville, Tn. Dake once said that black clothes would not be allowed and he didn't want a funeral but a Celebration. We are dressing very casually and wearing his favorite colors, green and red. Afterward we stop by Lynnville Church of Christ then back to Athens. Dake, Brittany and Evan spent one summer in Athens and formed a tradition of going to Village pizza. So a large crowd of family kept it going around a long table as the sun set just outside the window of Village pizza in Athens.
HE RESTS IN PEACE. Thank you Lord.
October 23, 2012
Dake donated his eyes in honor of his best friend. Today we found out his eye tissue helped two individuals have restored sight.
Today was Lyndsey’s first day back to school and work since Dake's passing. When she got out of the car, she asked God for a glimpse of Him. As she walked across campus, this is what she saw. Notice the reflection in the pond.
October 26-28, 2012
Trip to the beach to celebrate Gracey’s birthday.
Since mid October there has been several things that reach in deep and pull his spirit to the surface.
Butterflies on the beach,
A rainbow or double in the clouds or around the sun,
An amazing sunset or sun rise.
The crackle of a wooden floor board in just the right way.
The depth and breadth of Dake’s life will continue to be revealed in grand new ways both large and small, some of which not even he knew about.
January 2014 Gulf Coast Getaway
This had become a yearly tradition. We honored Dake by setting off a few red and green sky lanterns.
April 6, 2014
Dake is remembered and honored.
Brittany got together with extended family and friends to purchase a charity donation in memory of Dake for his birthday. Heifer International was the chosen charity. They provided education, livestock, and tools to impoverished families and villages to create a sustainable source of food and income.
Enough was donate to cover the cost of 1 llama, 1 goat, a flock of ducks, and 1 hive of bees!
It is clearly evident. The breadth of Daker's life, love, and impact on others goes well beyond every possible breath of a single soul. God used each breath Dake took to show the world the breadth of His kingdom, power, glory, and grace.