We Miss you....
My Dad was not a perfect man by any means, but he was perfect for us. I am certain that we have all come away with so much wisdom as a result of him.
There are so many memories I have of my Dad. I remember being around 8 years old and waiting for him to come home from work so I could sit down to dinner with him. Watching him eat dinner, waiting for him to leave a little bit on his plate to share with me. Watching him drink a small bottle of Miller beer and waiting for him to be finished so I could wash it out and pour Tang and pretend I was drinking beer with him. Those memories are so precious to me.
I think of you every single day, Papi and I miss you so much. Sometimes tears come to my eyes as I remember the last conversation we had. What you said the last time you spoke and how much I wish I could relive those moments again.
There was so much that I should've said, but didn't. I'm grateful for having had the opportunity to apologize for all the times that I was not the child you wanted me to be, yet there is a part of me that feels perhaps I didn't say it enough. I am so glad to have shared so many special moments with you before you left us, yet wish that God would of allowed me one more day to tell you how much I loved you and how proud I was to be your daughter.
I cannot pretend to understand the loss our Mother must feel. She spent a lifetime with you and even though we miss you, we can't possibly miss you as much as she does. Every night I sit here and look at pictures of you and I can almost feel your presence in the room. I think of you and can almost hear your voice.
This all feels like some sort of nightmare that I just can't wake up from. I thought that I was prepared for you to leave us, because I didn't want you to suffer any more, but I wasn't. I know that it was your time to go and that I need to find solice in the fact that you are no longer suffering but rather at peace in the Kingdom of God. I know that it was for the best. I am aware of it and see the logic behind it, but would someone please explain this to my heart........
I love you Papi. You will live forever in our hearts. Until we meet again.
Anilda