Who was Mandy ?
What can I say, he was everything a woman can want, everything a daughter needs to feel like Daddy’s little girl, best guide and confidant to his son, lovable and good hearted son, he was fun to be around, he told jokes like no other, he was a great salsa dancer, I will never dance with such joy again, he was my lifelong partner and best friend. He understood me better than anyone, he accepted me with all my faults and mistakes that I have made, he defended me even if I did not deserve to be defended, even to his own children, even if I was wrong. He loved me unconditionally, and liked everything about me (almost) – he loved the way I looked and was always telling everyone how he knew the moment that he met me that I was the one for him, his future wife. He made me feel secure, protected, loved, and safe. I took him for granted and thought he would be there forever. The world has lost a great person. He made everyone laugh and was the life of the party. I had no idea how much I loved this man until I lost him. He deserved someone way better than me and that loved him the way he deserved to be loved, but he stuck by me, I will never understand it. We had two beautiful kids together, and they are a lot like him (thank god) – the pain that I feel inside every day is indescribable, I want to pull my hair out and scream to the top of my lungs, I feel like this is a punishment for not appreciating him – I wish I could do so many things differently and take back all the things I said when I was upset in rage which were very hurtful, but that I hope he knew that I did not mean them. He was the father I never had. The best advice I ever got came from him. He felt as if I did not love him – I am here to tell you I loved you more than myself, and realize it now, when it is too late. You were my angel in life and hopefully a guardian angel to your kids in heaven. I met you at a time when I was lost and somehow everything came together and my life began with you. I was the ultimate pain in the ass but he put up with it for 29 years. We met on February 28, 1982 – we married February 3, 1989 – we celebrated February 28th as our “real” anniversary. He was such a good man, husband and father that if I were told today that he cheated on me – I would understand – yes, you heard it right, I would understand and forgive him 100% that is how difficult I know I was and how sure I am that he loved me like he loved nobody else ever (except his kids of course). I miss his snoring, I miss wearing ear plugs to bed every night. I miss him coming to bed after I fell asleep only to wake me up again because he would jump on the bed. I miss him grabbing me when I was brushing my teeth, even though it would make me so angry at the time. I miss him popping out of the closet to scare me when I came out of the shower. I miss him walking in on me when I was in the shower to talk. I miss him driving me to work every morning, even though we would argue all the way there, about everything including the way he drove. I miss going to dinner with him on Saturdays and coming home to an empty house and hear him calling the kids hourly, he would stay up until they were both home. I miss the honey-do lists I made for him every Saturday but somehow I don’t think he misses them at all. I miss his morning café con leche – he made the best and I will never enjoy it the way I enjoyed his. He wanted to teach Danny everything he knew, from salsa dancing to sweet talking the ladies – he said with Danny’s looks and his charm – he would win them all ! but Danny would not let his Dad teach him – and now he wishes he would have, but I know that Mandy is there next to him guiding him every step of the way and that Danny will make his Dad very proud. His little girl, what can I say, carbon copy of him, we would always say that she should have been born the boy, she has his personality, she looks like him and was so very much like him, I think that is why she pissed him off so much – she is a handful – just like he was at her age I’m sure, but how he loved that little girl from the moment he laid eyes on her, it was truly love at first sight. The day she was born, I became his second love and I have absolutely no problem with it. He was in love with both his kids and wanted the best for them always, lived for them and cared about nothing else. He was the better parent hands down, I could not have done it without him.
Hard worker, he is the definition. Best sales person and go-getter I have ever met. The man would find work where there was none. He loved being his own boss because he could come and go as he pleased, he was a free spirit, loved going around visiting people to get business clients. He knew his business like no other, he was truly the best at what he did. Anyone that had a business relationship with him knew that without argument. He made sure his family and house were taken care of, that was always his priority in life. The only negative I can say about Mandy is that he did not take good care of himself. He put others first always. I wish he would have seen it coming, I am sure he must of felt it, no matter how many times we told him, he would never listen. No matter how many people say that his demise was not my fault, in my heart I know I could have and should have done more, as his wife, I should have insisted to go to the hospital and/or rushed him when I realized something was not right, I was ignorant and I am paying the ultimate price and for that Mandy, I am so so sorry. He loves his mother so very much, he worried about her all the time. My mother loved him as her own son, she said he was the best man she had ever met and that I was so very lucky to have him. She drove him crazy – all problems that she had were solved by Mandy. His Dad, he loved so very much, every year on Father’s day his first trip in the morning was Vista Memorial to visit his dad’s grave, no matter what. He was so smart. Given the opportunities that my son has, I am sure he would have been a success, he was the lawyer type (litigator of course). Street-smart, was he ever ! he knew it all, all the tricks. He was a friend to all – no matter who you were, I am ashamed to say he knew people I would not talk to in the street, but that was Mandy – he saw good in everyone and was never afraid. I will continue to add to this story, I know I could write a book about him, so for now…….To be continued………..