The Power of Love video is in memory of my beautiful daughter Ashley, who helped me produce the The Power of Love. Ashley's life was this song. Ashley poured her love in my heart and all who knew her and I will forever love and cherish her. Ashley's love was so powerful. She was so expressive with it. She wanted so much for others to know about God and his love. Thank you Ashley for BLESSING ME! I Love YOU!! "POL"
I want to share my experience with Ashley’s passing in the hopes that its will be a blessing to anyone who experiences the passing of a loved one or any form of loss in their lives. I have truly found that the grace of God is so real and relevant to living an empowered life. I pray that all who read my testimony will receive it as a means to believe in the love and the supernatural power of God. There are so many stories in the Bible from Genesis to Revelation that speaks about God, His Kingdom and His creations that is and that is to come. We are more connected to heaven than we realize.
When Ashley first died I thought I wouldn’t make it. Just the mere thought of it was unbearable. It just didn’t seem real and it still doesn’t at times even now. I would wake up in the morning thinking, oh God I just know this is a terrible dream and somehow I am going to wake up and Ashley is going to walk through our bedroom door just like she always had done in the past. It was 10:30 at night. Nathan and I had just talked with her on the phone. We talked and laughed about some things, I told her I loved her, threw some kisses at her and we both hung up. Once she hung up with me, she then called her father. They talked and laughed as well. Nathan and I went to bed expecting Ashley to come in shortly, but then the unthinkable happened. The dreaded knock at the door at 4:00AM in the morning would change our lives forever..... I remember going to the emergency room to get tranquilizers, thinking that taking them would make what had happen go away. Imagine that! I was just in an unreal zone. I was numb.
Two weeks later, I remember driving up route 228 on my way from Waldorf and crying out to the Lord asking how in the world I was going make it through this. When all of a sudden I heard Ashley’s voice so clearly say, “I AM HAPPY MOMMY!” Oh my goodness! Such an overwhelming experience of joy flooded my whole being. I broke out into laughter and said, "I know baby, and I know you are happy!" Because, I knew it was true. To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. That’s what God kept repeating to me in my spirit when she first died. I began imagining Ashley having the time of her life in Heaven hanging out with Jesus, her grandfather Ernest, aunt Betty, cousins Sheila, Lisa, my brother Elsey, Beverly, Shanta', Bishop Hawkins, and so many others who had gone home before her.
I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that Ashley was now experiencing the highest existence of life that God has promised us, His children. That everything Ashley was searching for in this life she now has and more. Her search for acceptance and love is finally being fulfilled. She could now be her true self, but in the highest form ever, which is total Spirit. Wow! She is now the Ashley that God created her to be -- full of love for her family and friends that was so real and true. Though she didn’t understand it many times, she experienced such longsuffering because of her love for others, which caused her to overcome many struggles. Ashley was so full of life and would spread that gorgeous smile out on you when she talked. I can just see her now talking to Jesus!
Oh my goodness could she talk! Well, no one will tell her she talks too much anymore. Jesus loves every word she is expressing to Him. Ashley had dreams she never got to fulfill here. However, everything she ever desired is now being fulfilled in her life in Heaven. Her life is complete here on Earth and now she has eternal life in Heaven. Life means she is still living! The things she desired down here, like a new car, now she can transcend to whatever place she wants to go. She wanted her own place, she's got a mansion. She desired greater friendships and now she is hanging out with Jesus and all of the heavenly host. Ashley is experiencing the ultimate success in life story and probably can't wait until we get there also to show us around!
Please know that I am not trying to mislead anyone into thinking that Ashley's death is okay with me and I am glad she is in Heaven. I miss Ashley so much and sometimes I get so overwhelmed about her that I just cry. But my crying doesn’t last long because I know God told me she is with Him and that I should praise Him for that. And I do! Yes my life feels different now, but I trust God and know that everything that He does and allows is for our good and His glory. Just thinking about it gives me a peace that is so surreal. I experience it on many occasions when thinking of Ashley being with Jesus. However, although I experience this peace, I know that I am at a vulnerable place where the devil can attack my mind with oppressive thoughts, despair and depression. So I keep my mind covered with the word of God and the truth that God loves me and my family, that He has not left us and that it is very important that we stay in faith with God. My faith in what God has allowed to happen has to be channeled through my knowing Him as a loving God and that our lives are not our own. Though my heart has been broken, God is healing and restoring me and my family every day. So I trust God completely with my whole heart in spite of what has happened. God is my only source of strength and so I worship and praise Him every time I think of my baby. It’s a must!
Knowing God and having a personal relationship with Him is vital in bouncing back. Six months prior to Ashley’s passing, I had been meditating on a teaching by Pastor Cynthia called Pressing into the Kingdom of God and Getting Your Fight Back and decided to listen to it again along with a teaching by Pastor Tony called Living in the Supernatural (Normal Christianity). I began listening to those messages every day repeatedly and they really helped me get focused. I knew I was in for the fight of my life and would be under serious attack of the enemy. The words that stood out for me the most were, Press, Restore, Get your fight back and that Heaven is real. I am so blessed to have Pastors that are advanced in the revelation and knowledge of God and His kingdom. I do want to acknowledge the awesome love and support our Pastors showered on us. They showed us what God means when He says He will bless exceedingly and abundantly above all that you ask, think or can imagine. They and our church family treated us like Ashley was their daughter and sister too. I cannot leave out my immediate family. You know I love and appreciate you!
You know when I think about it, I never gave a lot of thought about death or what happened to people when they die before Ashley’s death. My brother Elsey died over 9 years ago, but when the thought of him would enter my mind I would just block it out so that I would not feel sorrow or grief. But for this to happen to Ashley there was no blocking it out. This was a reality that demanded all hands on deck. If ever I needed the Lord, I needed Him NOW. I never want to be in denial. I want truth, so I searched my heart and went into prayer with God. I asked God to open up my spiritual ears, eyes, and my heart so that I could understand where He now had me and, how to live from this new place of existence. I asked myself, do you love God? Do you believe that He has you? Would He allow this to happen and leave me and my family hurting and not make himself available to us? The answer was that God loves Ashley and her family and it was imperative that we trusted God, really trust God with all of our heart. Proverbs 3 truly became incredibly real to us. We knew that it would take incredible courage and strength to fight with faith.
You see, the Lord told me in my spirit to not dwell on the accident, on the whys, the how and the what ifs. He said it would only bring me ungodly sorrow and grief. He told me that Ashley was not back there at the accident. He said “Ashley was not coming back. She had seen His Glory. Ashley was now with Him in His Kingdom, which is deep in my heart. He brought to my remembrance that when I accepted Him into my heart, He and the Father came to live there and I in them. Jesus also said “You love me and you have never seen me. You must now learn to love and experience Ashley the same way you do with me, in your heart.” God never intended for us to just experience our loved ones from the outside where we can touch and feel. That’s why we have a heart. It is from there that we love and experience people the most. Think about it, we love Jesus from our hearts and have powerful experiences with Him and don’t even cry about the fact that He is not here in the flesh.
The Lord told me that it would be different and difficult to do at first, but that I need only to trust Him and in time it would become easy. That when Ashley died she woke up in heaven with Him, that she was alright. She is now complete. I wasn’t, and have never been in denial about what happened to Ashley, but again, God would not let me dwell on the accident. He said “I rescued Ashley. I rescued her from the evil days ahead” (Isaiah 57:1-2). It was her time to come home. And today looking back over the past year of 2011 and her last days here, I now see the preparation. She was ready.
We didn’t get to be with Ashley at the time of the accident, but the Lord gave me revelation of what happened to her through my best friend, Brenda, who spoke Isaiah 57:1-2 to me the day Ashley passed and Florence, the wife of a close friend (Jude) of my husband, Nathan. Today, I call Florence and Brenda more than friends. They are two women who receive true knowledge from God.
Isaiah 57: 1-2, The righteous pass away; the godly often die before their time. Godly men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous person is rescued from the evil yet to come. 2 For The righteous man, when he dies, enters into peace and rest.
Now the rest of my testimony may be a little out there to some of you reading this, but, I feel led by the Lord to give my testimony and it is only for those to whom it is meant and you know who you are. To every man God has given the measure of faith.
The Lord did a remarkable thing for me through Florence who is a prophetic artist, which has changed my life forever and how I see and understand God's kingdom. Florence and Jude visited Nathan and I the night prior to Ashley’s funeral. During the visit, Florence told me she had a gift that the Lord had instructed her to give me. She said she was hesitant at first because she wasn’t sure if I would be offended and because it’s hard to know what to say or do for a person during a loved one’s death. But she knew God had told her to give this gift to me. So she pushed pass her fears and I am tremendously grateful that she did.
When I opened the gift I was immediately blown away by the most awesome and wondrous glory I had ever seen in my life as a Believer. It was a beautiful picture drawing of Ashley in her Spirit body being rescued by an Angel of the Lord and taken into the glory of God. The scripture Isaiah 57:1-2 given to me by Brenda was brought to life for me through this picture. The picture showed vivid colors of God’s glory. It showed the spirit realm filled with God’s love, the essence of what eternity is like, everything was connecting in a realm of love and everything looked timeless. I saw an Angel of the Lord and the Holy Spirit in the form of a dove taking Ashley home to be with the Lord and an Angelic Being guiding the way. The picture also showed other angels there with her and other loved ones going home to be with the Lord too. Ashley’s spirit body looked weightless and completely free!
Needless to say I exploded with tears of joy and then more joy. I know this sounds like a dream or wishful thinking, but you see the morning after Ashley died I was getting ready to go to funeral home to see and pray for Ashley. The Holy Spirit spoke to me as clear as anyone having a conversation with me saying " Ashley is not coming back she has seen my glory." The picture Florence gave me showed the glory that Ashley saw! How awesome it had to be for her experiencing God’s love drawing her to Him and having His joy immersed in her and His glory thrilled her. How could she resist? I just know she knew we were going to desperately cry and miss her really bad, and if she could have stayed she would have, but how could she resist the power of God’s love. We all speak of encounters with God. But this was the ultimate encounter with God.
The next blessing of confirmation would come at the latter part of August after Ashley’s death when I visited Florence at her home. On the day I visited Florence and another friend named Wanda in her art gallery I was looking at a larger version of the picture Florence gave me of Ashley when I realized that there was something of great significance about the picture and the Angel carrying Ashley into the presence of God. The significance was related to a picture that was showed to the congregation during the Sunday service of the VCMI Supernatural Dance Production in June 2011. The dance ministry held dance productions before; however, this production was different. It was as if the portals of Heaven had opened up over the sanctuary. The atmosphere every night was charged with the presence of God. The music, angelic sounds, colors and designs of the costumes the dancers wore were mystical. At the Sunday service Pastor Tony showed pictures which someone had captured of an angelic creature and a tall angel in the sanctuary during one of the rehearsals when the dancers were dancing to a song called Fly, by Jason Upton (Go to Jason Upton and Angel sing Fly Testimony on YouTube). I remember hearing the angelic sound of something like wind coming from the wings of the costumes of the dancers as they were dancing to the song Fly the first night of the production. The sound was heavenly and distinct and powerful. I literally felt like I was surrounded by Heaven and it wasn’t just me who experienced this. Other people who were at the production spoke of similar experiences, even little children became filled with the spirit and spoke of seeing angels.
Getting back to my visit with Florence and Wanda, as we sat and discussed the picture, I saw something that I had not realized before in the picture. The angelic creature and the angel that was in the picture the Lord instructed Florence to give me showed a striking resemblance to the angelic creature and angel that were in the picture I saw at the Sunday morning service. The pictures are attached, so if you click on the each picture you will see the distinct resemblance. I know that there are many coincidences that happen in the world but, based on the chain of events leading up to receiving the picture from Florence and what I experienced next, I know this was a God encounter for Ashley and that when our loved ones die in the Lord they truly have a glorious experience. God prepares them for their death and then meets them on the other side with an angelic entourage waiting to carry them to Him.
When I went home I Googled Jason Upton on the internet and found a very interesting story of his producer Michael giving testimony of Jason Upton ministering the song Fly in 2007 for a CD recording at a college auditorium in Alexandria, Louisiana. Michael said as Jason was ministering the song Fly the ceiling of the auditorium started filling up with a fog. However, according to the janitor when asked there were no pipes in the ceiling that would allow fog to come through. Next a little boy came over to Michael saying that there was a 12 foot angel standing behind Jason singing along with him. The only people on the stage were Jason and another band member who were men. Only the little boy saw the angel, but the voice of the angel could be heard and was recorded on the CD.
I believe the angel and angelic creature is related to how Ashley was taken to heaven the night she died. That is why God told me to not concern myself about the accident, that He had rescued Ashley from the evil days ahead. What we call an accident was where Ashley was transported to Heaven. I know that the portals of heaven opened up over 210 Indian Head Hwy for Ashley to experience one of the most amazing transformations of her life. I know all of this may sound out there, but what does supernatural mean, if not this?
It is amazing how God prepares us for everything that we are going to experience and go through in life. When I look back over the months that preceded Ashley’s death, I now see all the signs of Ashley’s preparation for going home. Ashley turned 26 on June 22, 2011 and decided she wanted a total transformation of her life. Her hair was in locks and she said they tied her to her pass and she needed them gone and really became anxious about getting her hair cut and permed. For Ashley to get a perm was a big deal. She loved her locks. Ashley had gone through several childhood situations that caused her to question her identity on so many levels. She questioned her womanhood, being accepted by her peers, fitting in, not fitting in. Her school life was very difficult. She felt so pressured by life. A month before she died, she was shedding everything and everyone that resembled her past and would keep her from God. That’s why she stayed at the altar.
She started asking me questions about when Jesus was coming back and being ready for His return. I told her the issue wasn’t when Jesus was to return, the issue was if she was ready for His return and she said with the greatest confidence “Oh I know I am ready. I knew she was too. A friend of Ashley, Tammi also spoke of a time when Ashley had witnessed to a group of people at a homeless shelter about her transformation. Ashley told them she cut her locks because they held her prisoner to a lifestyle that she knew she no longer desired. Two weeks before Ashley died, my mom told me that Ashley called her saying “Grandma I just called to let you know that I have given it all up for the Lord. I just wanted to tell you that”. She then said I will talk to you later and hung up.
Ashley always loved God. Ashley accepted Jesus in her heart at the tender age of 9. Ashley was always transparent with her life too and used her life to tell people about the Lord. The testimony she gave about the freedom she experienced from the uncertainty of her identity when cutting her locks at the homeless shelter would be her final quest. Ashley had so much love in her heart for people. She just wanted to share it with everyone. Her love was so innocent, yet strong. She was so forgiving, no matter whom or what hurt her. Her love was unconditional. She really had a heart for God that would be greatly tested over time. But Ashley had a personal relationship with God. Because of that I just know He assigned Grace and Mercy as her bodyguards as she went through life. You see her favorite scripture was the 23rd Psalm.
She would go through many life challenging things that people who looked at her outward appearance would judge her as lost. But God said not so and showed me to love her unconditionally and to pray for her no matter what. What people didn’t realize was Ashley went places no one else would go and would share the good news of Jesus. Her homegoing service would prove this to be so. The last two years of Ashley’s life she stayed very close to Nathan and me. We now know why. God was pouring her love into our hearts. Two weeks prior to Ashley’s passing, I was led to go on a 21 day fast. During the fast I discerned that Ashley was under major attack by the enemy because of her transformation. The Lord instructed me to place two of Ashley’s pictures on Psalms 51 in my Bibles. I placed her baby picture in the Living Bible I use at home and her first grade picture in my military Bible at work. I interceded for her day and night. The battle is over and God got the victory for Ashley.
The reason I praise God today with tears pouring down my face is that I know He rescued Ashley. I am so grateful words can never express how this truth has set me and my family free. God is a merciful and a gracious God. I trust my relationship with Him and know Ashley is now safe and HAPPY with Jesus. I also know that she is more alive today than she ever was here on earth. Most people, and even I at first, thought that it was tragic because Ashley was so young. But Ashley loved the Lord and wanted to go home. As a matter of fact, she was on her way home when the accident happened. She just flew over ours to His. She saw God’s glory and left it all.
The final message God gave me was that through the awesome message Pastor Tony preached at Ashley’s homegoing service. It inspired more than 61 people to surrender their lives or rededicate their lives to the Lord. They came to the same altar to which Ashley came at just about every service she attended; and where she honored and worshipped the Lord. There were aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. It was a sight to see. The Lord told me Ashley witnessed to people Isaiah 61 and now she has Isaiah 61 as her mantle. Ashley took to heart the people she loved and wanted them saved. Each One Reach One and she did, 61 of them. Ashley finished her work with great victory.
Isaiah 61
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a]
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free, I'm following the path God laid for me. I took his hand when I heard his call, I turned my back and left it all. I could not stay another day, To Laugh, to love, to work, to play, Tasks left undone must stay that way, I've found that peace at the end of the day. If my parting has left a void, Then fill it with remembered joy. A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss, Ah, yes, these things too I will miss. Be not burdened with times of sorrow, I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow. My life's been full, I savored much, Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch. Perhaps my time seemed all too brief, Don't lengthen it now with undue grief. Lift up your heart and share with me. God wanted me now, He set me free.
Love,
Ashley Forever
