WHEN I FIRST SAW MY BOYS AFTER NINE YEARS I WAS SO HAPPY THEY WERE STILL YOUNG. AXEL LIKED THIS SONG CALLED BLUE HE SANG IT TO ME WORD FOR WORD I REMEMBER I WAS SO HAPPY LISTENING TO  HIM SING THE SONG TO ME AND TOLD ME ABOUT THE VIDEO, NOW THIS SONG IS SOMETHING I CHERISH AND REMEMBER THAT DAY WITH CLARITY. I LOVE YOU AXEL I MISS YOU SO MUCH.     : (

This is a nice Picture, tells That Axel was raised in Paramount, A family pic of Brothers and Sisters with babies, the other pics show sad times.

I REMEMBER THIS DAY TWO YEARS AGO IT WAS A SUNDAY MORNING AND MY FAMILY AND I WERE MOVING INTO OUR NEW PLACE, I WAS AT OUR OLD PLACE CARRYING BOXES INTO MY CAR AND MY DAD WAS HELPING ME SUDDENLY MY PHONE RANG BUT I COULDNT ANSWER IT CAUSE Y HANDS WERE FULL SO IN BETWEEN TRIPS FROM THE HOUSE TO THE CAR I QUICKLY GLANCED AT MY PHONE AND SAW THAT IT WAS MY MOM WHO HAD CALLED ME SO I THOUGHT I'LL CALL HER BACK AFTER IM DONE HERE BUT AS I KEPT LOADING MY CAR WITH BOXES MY PHONE KEPT RINGING I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE MY MOM WANTED US TO PICK UP SOME FOOD ON OUR WAY BACK. BUT AS MY DAD AND I FINISHED LOADING UP THE VAN IT COMPLETELY SLIPPED MY MIND TO CALL HER BACK SO WE DROVE BACK TO THE NEW HOUSE AND AS I'M WALKING IN, MY DAD A FEW STEPS BEHIND ME I SEE MY WIFE CANDICE IN THE KITCHEN AND SHE ASKS IF I HAD SPOKEN WITH MY MOM I SAID NO WHY WHAT HAPPENED AND CANDICE WITH TEARS IN HER EYES COULDNT BRING HERSELF TO TELL ME I SAID WHAT! WHAT HAPPENED? SHE STRUGGLES TO GET THE WORDS OUT... LITTLE AXEL IS.........IMMEDIATELY I SAID NO, NO TELL ME NO, MY HEART SANK AND I GOT THIS AWFUL FEELING IN MY STOMACH I TURN TO MY DAD AND HE HAS THIS SHOCKED STARE ON HIS FACE HE STARTS ASKING WHAT WHY? QUESTIONS WE DIDNT HAVE ANSWERS TO SO OF COURSE MY DAD AND I GET ON OUR PHONES AND START CALLING FAMILY TRYING TO FIND OUT ANY INFO WE CAN. SO WE RUSH OVER TO AXEL'S HOME AND I SEE FAMILY AND FRIENDS GATHERED OUTSIDE....FIRST PERSON I SEE IS CHRISTINE SHE TURNS TO ME CRYING WE HUG AND I ASK WHY WHY WHY ALL THE WHILE SHEDDING TEARS THE MOMENT IS SO SURREAL TO ME... THE MOMENTS THAT FOLLOWED SEEMED LIKE AN ETERNITY FROM MORE FAMILY AND FRIENDS ARRIVING TO THE CORONER ARRIVING ALL THE WHILE THOUGHTS AND MEMORIES OF JR. RAN THRU OUR MINDS. EVERYONE KNOWING THINGS WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN... WE VISIT AXEL REGULARLY AND MY KIDS ALWAYS SMILE AND TALK ABOUT HIM MY WIFE DECORATES HIS SPACE WITH LITTLE FLOWERS MY GIRLS PICK OUT FOR HIM MY BOYS CLEAN OFF ANY DIRT OR PAPERS THAT MIGHT BE ON HIS SPACE I TRY TO CLEAN HIS HEADSTONE AS MUCH AS I CAN WE SPEND TIME WITH HIM AND RIGHT BEFORE WE LEAVE WE FORM A CIRCLE AROUND HIM AND PRAY FOR HIM :)   HE IS DEFINITELY LOVED AND WILL FOREVER REMAIN IN OUR HEARTS... WE LOVE YOU AXEL.... TODAY,TOMORROW, FOREVER. {HHH}

THE FOLLOWING STORY IS A EXPERIENCE THAT ROSE, JOCELYN'S MOM EXPERIENCED THIS PAST SATURDAY FEB 2, 2013. IT CHANGED HER SHE NEVER HAD NOTHING HAPPEN LIKE THAT, NO COINCEDENCE, SHE IS SURE AS AM I AFTER HEARING HER STORY AND HAVING A INCEDENT HAPPEN TO ME SHORTLY AFTER TALKING TO HER.

THIS PAST SATURDAY EARLY MORNING ROSE WOKE UP AROUND 2AM SHE SAID SHE FELT VERY SAD AND SHE FELT SHE WAS NOT ALONE SO SHE CHECKED THE DOORS AND WINDOWS TO THE HOUSE THEN WENT BACK TO BED UNABLE TO GO BACK TO SLEEP SHE SAID SOMETHING WAS KEEPING HER UP, SHE STARTED DOZING OFF THE HOUSE PHONE RANG ONCE SHE PICKED UP THE PHONE THE CALLER ID DID NOT SHOW ANY INFO, SO SHE TRIES TO GO BACK TO SLEEP THEN A SHORT WHILE LATER HER CELL PHONE RINGS ONCE SHE LOOKS AT IT THE SAME THING THERE IS NO INFO AVAILABLE SHE FEELS WIERD AND VERY SAD TO THE POINT OF CRYING, SHE TRIES TO FALL ASLEEP BY NOW ITS 4:30AM HER ALARM ON HER PHONE GOES OFF SHE HITS SNOOZE A COUPLE OF TIMES CAUSE SHE IS TIRED FROM BEING UP AT 2AM THE PHONE GOES OFF A THIRD TIME THIS TIME THE PHONE IS PLAYING A SONG SHE FREAKS OUT CAUSE THE PHONE HAS PANDORA APP OPENED AND PLAYING THIS CURE SONG SHE IS NOT FAMILAR WITH SHE TRIES TO CLOSE THE APP AND STOP THE SONG BUT PHONE DOES NOT RESPOND ITS ONLY TILL THE SONG FINISHES THAT SHE IS ABLE TO SHUT OFF PHONE, BY NOW SHE IS FREAKING OUT CAUSE SHE SOME HOW  KNOWS ITS AXEL TRYING TO TELL HER SOMETHING. SHE DOES NOT KNOW WHY MAYBE CAUSE JOCELYN IS HIS SISTER AND SHE IS HER MOM, OR SHE MADE A GOOD IMPRESSION ON HIM, SHE ACCEPTED AND WAS CLOSE TO ALL MY KIDS. SHE DOWNLOADED THE SONG AND DURING THE DAY AT WORK SHE CAREFULLY LISTENED TO IT AND IT MADE HER CRY SHE HAS BEEN FEELING SAD SINCE.

I BELIEVE SHE IS RIGHT, ROSE IS A GOOD HONEST PERSON I KNOW HOW SHE FEELS. THE SONG IS CALLED (SEVENTEEN SECONDS) FROM THE CURE WHICH IS ALSO WHAT THE ALBUM IS CALLED IT IS A VERY DARK SONG THE CURE IS KNOWN FOR THERE DARK MUSIC ESPECIALLY THIS ALBUM. THE SONG IS ABOUT SUICIDE AND THE LAST MOMENTS OF LIFE. I DONT KNOW WHY THIS HAPPENED ITS DEFINATELY A MESSAGE, ITS THINGS LIKE THIS THAT MAKE ME QUESTION MY SONS STATUS AND WHERE ABOUTS. I KNOW THERE IS SOMETHING THAT HAS TO BE DONE I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, IF OTHERS WOULD STEP FORWARD AND SHARE ANY INFO MAYBE WE COULD ALL DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE FOR AXEL.

THE FOLLOWING IS THE LYRICS TO THE SONG, THE SONG IS ALSO UP LOADED, DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS OR NOT, OR JUST IGNORE IT, THATS HOW ALL THIS CAME TO HAPPEN BY IGNORING AND LOOKING AWAY.

THE CURE *SEVENTEEN SECONDS*

TIME SLIPS AWAY
AND THE LIGHT BEGINS TO FADE
AND EVERYTHING IS QUIET NOW
FEELING IS GONE
AND THE PICTURE DISSAPPEARS
EVERYTHING IS COLD NOW
THE DREAM HAD TO END
THE WISH NEVER CAME TRUE
AND THE GIRL
STARTS TO SING

SEVENTEEN SECONDS
A MEASURE OF LIFE

SEVENTEEN SECONDS!!!!!!!


R. SMITH




: (                                                               
                                          

EARLY SUNDAY MORNING 2:45/3:00 A.M. JAN 6, 2013 I WOKE UP MY SONS CANDLE WAS VERY BRIGHT AND FLICKERING ALOT. I WOKE UP FROM A DREAM THAT WAS VERY STRANGE, I SHOT VIDEO OF CANDLE BUT FROM VIDEO PERSPECTIVE YOU CANT REALLY SEE HOW BRIGHT THE CANDLE IS OR SEE IT FLICKERING. I WAKE UP FREQUENTLY AROUND THIS TIME!!!! I KNOW THERE IS SOME SIGNIFICANCE WITH THE TIMES I AM WOKEN UP, DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS!!!! ALSO SINCE THIS TRAJEDY HAPPENED MY PRINTER TURNS ON FREQUENTLY BY ITSELF, ONCE IT TURNED ON AFTER I ASKED A QUESTION. STILL I DO NOT HAVE MY ANSWERS. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU AXEL JR, LOVE DAD  : (

SYNOPSIS: SONG IS ABOUT THE STRUGGLE YOUNG MEN HAVE GROWING UP DUE TO LIFES CIRCUMSTANCES AND PARENTS BAD CHOICES, BEING OPPRESSED YOUNG MEN MAKE MISTAKES AND DECISIONS THAT IMPACT THERE LIFE, A STORY THAT HAS PLAYED THRU "DECADES"

HERE ARE THE YOUNG MEN, THE WEIGHT ON THEIR SHOULDERS, HERE ARE THE YOUNG MEN, WELL WHERE HAVE THEY BEEN? WE KNOCKED ON THE DOORS OF HELL'S DARKER CHAMBER, PUSHED TO THE LIMIT, WE DRAGGED OURSELVES IN,

WATCHED FROM THE WINGS AS SCENES WERE REPLAYING, WE SAW OURSELVES NOW AS WE NEVER HAD SEEN. PORTRAYAL OF THE TRAUMA AND DEGENERATION, THE SORROWS WE SUFFERED AND NEVER WERE FREE.

WHERE HAVE THEY BEEN?
WHERE HAVE THEY BEEN?
WHERE HAVE THEY BEEN?

WEARY INSIDE, NOW OUR HEART'S LOST FOREVER, CAN'T REPLACE THE FEAR, OR THE THRILL OF THE CHASE, EACH RITUAL SHOWED UP THE DOOR FOR OUR WANDERING'S, OPEN THEN SHUT, THEN SLAMMED IN OUR FACE!!!.

WHERE HAVE THEY BEEN?
WHERE HAVE THEY BEEN?
WHERE HAVE THEY BEEN?

Joy Division / I. Curtis

I know that Axel enjoyed this day, he would go to amusements parks that had something scary going on, he liked to scare people and be scared. I remember a story he told me once about his older brother Richie when they went to Universal Studios, Fortress Dracula, I still laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, I miss my son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you Axel Jr hopefully I will get to talk to you and get the answers to my questions SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE DAD.....  : (

I GUESS EVERYONE HAS FORGOTTEN, EVERYONE HAS MOVED ON, IF IT IS NOT YOUR SON ITS EASY TO FORGET. I NEVER WILL FORGET MY SON!!!

RECENTLY I WAS TALKING TO SOME ONE THEY SHARED SOMETHING WITH ME AND REMINDED ME OF SOMETHING I HAD READ. I WAS TOLD TO LET GO SO AXEL JR CAN REST, BUT I CAN'T I NEVER WILL I AM MAD AT MYSELF AND THE WORLD AT TIMES I THINK EVERYONE HAS FORGOTTEN AND MOVED ON NO ONE SPEAKS OF IT, BUT NOT ME I AM STILL LOOKING FOR ANSWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, THIS IS WHAT I READ AND WAS TOLD TO ME FOR AXEL JR.

"FOR THOSE I LOVE AND LOVE ME"

IT IS MY TIME TO GO, SO LET ME GO. I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO DO AND SEE. DON'T LET THE GRIEF AND TEARS BE ALL THAT MY MEMORIES BRING TO YOU. I THANK EVERYONE WHO LOVED ME AND CARED FOR ME. I LAMENT MY MISTAKE. BUT NOW I AM ON A JOURNEY I MUST TAKE ALONE. SO IF GRIEF FILLS YOUR HEART LET THAT GRIEF CONVERT TO FAITH. THEN ONE DAY WHEN IT'S TIME TO TAKE THAT JOURNEY WE ALL WILL AT SOME POINT IN LIFE. I WILL BE THERE WAITING FOR YOU TO GREET YOU WITH A SMILE AND LOVE, AND I WILL SAY WELCOME TO MY FATHER'S HOUSE, THE HOUSE OF GOD.          AXEL JR

I VIDEO TAPED THIS MOMENT WHICH IS ONE OF MANY THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME MY SONS CANDLE LIGHTS UP BRIGHT AS YOU CAN SEE THE FLAME IS HIGH AND MOVES AND JUMPS, I BELIEVE THIS HAPPENS WHEN MY SON IS PRESENT. LAST MONTH I WAS ASLEEP AROUND 2:45/3:00 A.M. I WOKE UP THE ROOM WAS SO BRIGHT IT WAS AS IF THE ROOM LIGHT WAS ON THE CANDLE WAS SO BRIGHT IT WAS A WHITE LIGHT FROM CANDLE THE FLAME WAS SO HIGH, THAT NIGHT I STOOD UP AND JUST TALKED TO HIM IT WAS 5:30 A.M. WHEN I FELL ASLEEP WHEN I WOKE UP AROUND 12:30 IN THE AFTERNOON THE CANDLE FLAME WAS NORMAL. THE FIRST TIME I EXPERIENCED THIS WAS IN FEB 2011 ON THE 21ST I WAS IN VEGAS WITH MY DAUGHTER I NEEDED TO BE WITH HER AT THAT TIME IT WAS A HARD TIME HER LOVE AND EMBRACE COMFORTED ME, IT WAS AROUND THE SAME TIME 2:45 A.M. I EXPERIENCED SOMETHING WHEN I GOT UP I SAW THE CANDLE NEXT TO ME BURST INTO A ORANGE FLAME AND SPARKS WAS IN THE FLAME I CRIED ALL NIGHT, ALSO MY ENTIRE FAMILY HAD SIMILAR EXPERIENCES ON THAT SAME NIGHT, THIS HAPPENED 15 DAYS AFTER MY SON PASSED, I WAS TOLD THAT HE WAS SAYING GOODBYE BEFORE HE CROSSED OVER. TO THIS DAY I REMAIN UNCERTAIN DUE TO MY LACK OF FAITH. I LOVE MY SON I CANT ACCEPT IT OR MOVE ON MY LIFE IS AT A STAND STILL AS I SEARCH FOR ANSWERS, WHAT I KNOW ONLY LEADS ME TO MORE QUESTIONS. I LOVE YOU AXEL I HOPE YOU SEE IT NOW!!   : (

I made this Digital picture stand for my son's resting site, for everyone to see him and remember the good memories, please make sure if you handle frame to put back as is for all to see and enjoy, Thank You.

I got this solar angel to Accent my son's resting site, for those who visit please make sure solar panel is clean(located on Angel's foot) to recharge battery during the day to light up automatically at night. Thank You.

I'D LOVE TO TOUCH THE SKY TONIGHT!
I'D LOVE TO TOUCH THE SKY!
SO TAKE ME IN YOUR ARMS
AND LIFT ME LIKE A CHILD
AND HOLD ME UP SO HIGH
AND NEVER LET ME GO!
TAKE ME
TAKE ME IN YOUR ARMS TONIGHT!

HOLD ME
HOLD ME UP SO HIGH
AND NEVER LET ME DOWN!
HOLD ME
HOLD ME UP SO HIGH
TO TOUCH THE SKY!
JUST ONE MORE TIME!

TAKE ME IN YOUR ARMS TONIGHT
TAKE ME IN YOUR ARMS
JUST ONE MORE TIME!
JUST ONE MORE TIME!
JUST ONE MORE TIME!
JUST ONE MORE TIME!

The Cure/ R. Smith

I GOT THIS CROSS LAST YEAR FOR MY SON TO HONOR HIM. ITS NOT A TRADITIONAL CROSS, I TEND TO BE DIFFERENT FROM EVERYONE, SO I CHOOSE THIS SPECIAL CROSS FOR MY SPECIAL SON!!! THIS CROSS IS DERIVED FROM THE KNIGHT'S TEMPLAR WITHIN THE CROSS THERE IS A ANCIENT SYMBOL THAT STANDS FOR THE LETTER "A". I LOVE YOU AXEL!.


                                                                                                                   :-(

I BOUGHT THIS SOLAR CROSS FOR MY SON AXEL IT WILL ALWAYS BE AT HIS RESTING SITE. FOR THOSE WHO VISIT HIS SITE IF YOU CAN PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT THE AREA AT THE BOTTOM END OF THE CROSS IS CLEAN(SEE THRU PLASTIC),THIS AREA IS WHERE THE SOLAR CELLS ARE THEY CHARGE THE BATTERY DURING THE DAY AND AUTOMATICALLY TURN ON THE CROSS AT NIGHT. THERE IS NO SWITCH IT IS ALWAYS ACTIVE, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT.    :-(

On a cold wet afternoon
In a room full of emptiness
By a freeway I confess
I was lost in the pages

Of a book full of death
Reading how we'll die alone
And if we're good we'll lay to rest
Anywhere we want to go

In your house I long to be(GODS HOUSE) Room by room patiently
I'll wait for you there like a stone
I'll wait for you there alone

And on my deathbed I will pray
To the Gods and the Angels
Like a pagan to anyone
Who will take me to Heaven

To a place I recall
I was there so long ago
The sky was bruised
The wine was bled
And there you lead me on

In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I'll wait for you there like a stone
I'll wait for you there alone, alone

And on I read
Until the day was gone
And I sat in regret
Of all the things I've done

For all that I've blessed
And all that I've wronged
In dreams until my death
I will wonder on

In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I'll wait for you there like a stone
I'll wait for you there alone, alone 
   

I MADE THIS LIGHT FOR MY SON, SO THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A LIGHT FOR HIM. THE LIGHT IS A SOLAR CANDLE THAT CHARGES DURING THE DAY AND TURNS ON AT NIGHT. FOR THOSE WHO VISIT MY SON PLEASE MAKE SURE SOLAR PANEL IS CLEAN(THE DARK GLASS AREA) IT CAN BE WIPED WITH HAND OR A RAG, ALSO THE SWITCH HAS TO BE ALWAYS ON FOR CHARGING TO OCCUR DURING THE DAY AND FOR LIGHT TO AUTOMATICALLY TURN ON AT NIGHT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT.

YOU WERE A CHILD
CRAWLING ON YOUR KNEES TOWARDS HIM
MAKING MOMMA SO PROUD
BUT YOUR VOICE IS TO LOUD
WE LIKE TO WATCH YOU LAUGHING
PICKING AT EVERYTHING
NO TIME TO THINK OF CONSEQUENCES

CONTROL YOURSELF
TAKE ONLY WHAT YOU NEED FROM HIM!
A FAMILY OF TREES WANTING TO BE HAUNTED
CONTROL YOURSELF
TAKE ONLY WHAT YOU NEED FROM HIM!

THE WATER IS WARM
BUT IT'S SENDING ME SHIVERS
A BABY IS BORN
CRYING OUT FOR ATTENTION!
MEMORIES FADE
LIKE LOOKING THROUGH A FOGGED MIRROR
DECISIONS TOO
DECISIONS ARE MADE AND NOT BOUGHT
BUT I THOUGHT THIS WOULDN'T HURT A LOT
I GUESS NOT
IT HURTS TO EVERYONE'S HEART AND SOUL!!!!!!!!

On Feb 6th 2012 Jocelyn Diaz released four ballons with cards that each had one letter spelling Axel, as she lets go she says I miss you Axel!!!, video taken with phone therefore it is incompatible on this website,plays fast,no sound,freezes.  :-(

I REMEMBER THIS DAY LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY I WAS THE ONE RECORDING THIS VIDEO AT MY MOM AND DAD'S HOUSE. EVERYONE WANTED TO HOLD BABY AXEL HE WAS THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. AS YOU CAN SEE IN THE VIDEO HOW ADORABLE AND CUTE HE IS, HIS GOOD LOOKS WERE UNDENIABLE THIS DAY THE DIAZ COUSINS (RICHIE, AXEL AND STEVE) WERE PLAYING IN THE BACKYARD LIKE THEY DID MANY WEEKENDS WHILE THEY WERE GROWING UP. PRECIOUS MEMORIES I WISH I COULD GO BACK TO THOSE DAYS... {HHH}

I found a old VHS of of my Family it is now a item that has great significance to me, I have uploaded pieces of the video here cause this website can not handle big files all the videos have to be under 1Gb.My son is a baby in this video he is so cute in other pieces of video I have not loaded due to difficulties, he is walking. The videos have sound all the current videos are UVS-followed by #s. To watch videos good here on this site, you need to let the buffer bar(blue bar)move ahead of play bar(small silver bar) you do this by letting video play past half way point it will be freezing, but after half way point with mouse drag play bar(small silver bar)back to almost starting point of video double click and it will play from that point smoothly as the buffer bar(blue bar) is way ahead. This is my son a part of me when he left he took a part of me with him, I will never be the same.     :-(

I took this pic last week, I put small battery light candles at my son's resting place and my memeorial I have for him, these battery candles last about 5 to 6 days when left on constantly. At the time I took the pic it was going on 2 weeks, when I posted this pic to this website it's 3 weeks now and candle is still on!!!! ?.         : (

Finally found a video format that looks better some sound(AVI),but it still freezes. Looks better than other videos which are in (FLV) format. This is the first video taken after Axel's site was decorated.  : (

WHEN I SAW THIS PIC IT SAID SO MUCH TO ME TO SEE THAT MY SON WAS IN PAIN.TO HAVE EVERYTHING TO LIVE FOR, BEING LOVED BY FAMILY AND FRIENDS, BUT THE ABSENCE OF HAPPIENESS AND PEACE WAS THERE, THAT IS JOY DIVISION, SOMETHING I KNOW TO WELL SINCE I LOST MY FAMILY MANY YEARS AGO AND NOW THAT A PIECE OF MY HEART IS GONE FOREVER, I MISS MY SON SO MUCH MY PAIN IS TO HARD BEAR, THIS IS JOY DIVISION.   : (

THIS IS SECOND NITE VIDEO I TOOK AGAIN SIDEWAYS NO AUDIO FREEZES, DUE TO WEBSITE.   : (

Again video is not good, This is video one of two I took at nite of my sons resting place when all the lights came on, it looked very nice.  : (

I took this video after we finished fixing my sons resting place. Again this website is no good when it comes to loading videos, I used a camera this time which came out very good but when I loaded it on the site it came out sideways and pauses.

AFTER WE FINISHED DECORATING MY SONS RESTING PLACE I STARTED TAKING PICS AND VIDEO, THIS PIC OF THE TREE IS THE VERY FIRST ONE TAKEN, AS YOU CAN SEE THE TREE SEEMS TO BE COVERED IN LIGHT THE BRANCHES LOOK LIKE THEY ARE MADE OF LIGHT, I TOOK THIS AS A SIGN THAT MY SON IS HAPPY WITH THE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS.

Again video is not correct, due to program/format incompatible with website, Too bad his little sister sounds cute as she sings happy birthday to her older brother Axel jr then blows out his candle. : (

This is a video I took at my sons resting place it is not complete due to this website. I can not seem to find the right program/format to play video correctly with sound, probably the website. : (

Just like Batman and Robin Always together, So was Axel and Richard. This Picture was taken October 1997, Axel was 3yrs old and Richard 5yrs old, as you can see in this picture Axel is a very Happy innocent baby.

Axel I wish you could (COME BACK) Son I miss you! Everyone misses you! = (

Come back, come back to me I'll be waiting patiently Come back, come back to me I'll be waiting here patiently

Walking a thin white line between love and hate Wasting all my time in another world in another place I could use a little company a little kindness could go a long way

Weeks turn into months, months turn into years Reaching the same conclusions Gathering up the fear

Come back, come back to me I'll be waiting patiently come back, come back to me I'll waiting here patiently

Light will always shine in the heart of you! In truth and in reality Only Blindness can hide it away! I could use a little restraint a little kindness can go a long way

Weeks turn into months, months turn into years reaching the same conclusions gathering up the fear Living the same Delusion, Gathering up the fear!

COME BACK!!!

DM / M. GORE

Why does my heart feel so bad?
Why does my soul feel so bad?
Why does my heart feel so bad?
Why does my soul feel so bad?

Why does my heart feel so bad?
Why does my soul feel so bad?
Why does my heart feel so bad?
Why does my soul feel so bad?

These open doors, these open doors
These open doors, these open doors
These open doors, these open doors
These open doors, these open doors
These open doors, these open doors

Why does my heart feel so bad?
 

MOBY/PORCELAIN:

                               In my dreams I'm dying all the time Then I wake it's kaleidoscopic mind I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to lie So this is goodbye This is goodbye, Tell the truth you never wanted me, Tell me, In my dreams I'm jealous all the time, Then I wake I'm going out of my mind, Going out of my mind!!!!!!.

This was the first time I had seen my son in 9 years, I lived in Long Beach at the time, I was so happy to see him.