Baby Steven,
The very first few weeks of your life are collaborated into this brief video. I think everyone assumes because you were a 24 week preemie that you were almost "supposed to" pass away given the circumstances. But that wasn't the case or at least not for you. I'd love to know what the hell happened after being in a NICU for 4.5 months and on the verge of a homecoming that changed in what feels like less than a blink of an eye. You were so strong and I was the most proud mama there could ever be. You went through major struggles but surpassed every worst expectation just as I knew you would. I remember when I believed this area of your life was the hardest of times... but you made it through surgeries, brain bleeds, MRSA, pneumonia, a steroid overdose, human error (according to the doctors and staff) and extubating yourself numerous times. As a critical baby, how can that happen? I have no idea but again you did bypass all of the issues and they told me to get my nursery ready... Then a year ago tonight, something changed. Nobody will talk though! At 1:30am I called to check in and was told you were ok. Then at 3:38am I received more calls telling me to get to the hospital. When I arrived, it was too late. I want to know what happened to you and what could possibly have turned in a matter of less than 3 hours??? Obviously somethings wrong there and I want you to know that everyday your in my heart and mind. I am to this very day looking thoroughly into this terrible tragedy and I will never let your story go untold. Your life is worth more than any mistake whether people will ever admit to something or not. I love you to the moon and back. Remember that I was always there with you and hope and pray I eventually feel signs from you but it's so hard! You are so loved and will remain missed and continually loved until the day we meet again. I will get my answers and not because of myself but because I promised you my angel boy that I would do everything in my power to find them. I haven't given up and won't because I know and so does everyone person that knew you (even if they were staff members) that this was not the way anything would have actually happened. I love you always monkey and miss you so terribly. Your entire family does and I hope and pray that uncle Steven and you are together in heaven waiting till I arrive along with the rest of your family as the time passes! Ugh.... I wish you were here and you should have been angel! All my love forever! Mommy!

Whoever put this here, I appreciate it very much. I'm trying my hardest to find someone to help me with justice for baby Steven! It's a very tough case because of neonatology being a huge factor, but I'm on a mission. Lawyer suggestions are always helpful. I have a few, just not sure who to use or who to trust but his story needs to be heard. Whether in a court room or even on the news. This poor baby shouldn't have died and its a year and I'm still lost as to where exactly to start! It sucks and hurts so badly. But thank you for caring!

Hey baby boy,

Mommy loves you so much. Your 13 month birthday was Monday and then your 9 months gone anniversary was yesterday. This is so hard and I want you to know I'm working endlessly trying to fulfill my promise to you. You didn't just "happen to leave us" at 4.5 months old and I'm doing all I can to get answers. It's not easy but it's not impossible either. I will do it for you. I'd do anything for you and I want you to always know that not a day goes by that your not with me and in my heart and thoughts. I wish you could come back. I hope uncle Steven is being the uncle I always knew he'd be. He was an amazing brother so I know he's the next best thing to you, until you have me once again... Keep each other company and tell him I love and miss him too. Mommy's little monkey and little man is my forever angel. I can't help but say I'd rather have you here with me. Looking forward to the day I see you again. I love you baby boy, forever and always, xoxo!!!

This was your 1 week birthday. I was so scared but at the same time had so much hope and faith. You should be here my love. I'll never forget you and will cherish every memory we had until we meet again. I miss you so very much. You'll always be my little monkey. You are and were amazing, strong and just precious. You fought a very good fight and then it got taken just like that 4.5 months later. Never expected it and I'll never get used to it. I love you angel...

This was 1 of my favorite moments and the best day of my life! I got to dress my baby boy that was doing extremely well on Thanksgiving for the 1st time ever! I was so happy and it was by far the best Thanksgiving I had will ever know. This particular Thanksgiving taught me so much about life and what being thankful is all about! I loved every second of it!!! 

Miss you baby boy!!!