I still miss you terribly.  

I wanted to Thank you for allowing me to share my Memories at her HomeGoing service this past weekend.  I wanted to share them here as well.  Below is what I wrote and  read at Our Lady of Consolation - 


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I first met Barbara  - as many of you probably did - thru her children.  It was thru my friendship with her daughter Cheryl and at one of the combined Cheryl/Russell birthday parties that she came into my life.  From that first night she left her mark. I remember thinking how full of life she was and it stuck with me.  I just didn't meet her that night and continue on with the birthday party - oh Nooo!  I sat with Ms Barbara for the majority of the evening as she shared stories with me about her life and her family. She told me was it was like growing up Catholic and in the South during her lifetime. She shared with me stories of her parents and her grandparents.  She told me about her children and her grandchildren. We - or rather SHE - I guess had been talking for quite some time because I remember Cheryl coming over to me and asking me if I needed "saving".  Now - I realize we are in Church but Cheryl was talking about a different kind of saving when she said to me -"John - my mom will talk your ears off so if you need saving let me know". I can honestly say that I was so mesmerized hearing her speak of her life and the richness and fullness along with her testimony of Faith that being " saved" was the last thing on my mind.  From the very first time I met her - Barbara left her mark in my mind and her footprints across my heart.

Over the years our friendship grew and I saw her at every family function that I was privileged and invited to attend - birthdays and graduations including her Surprise 80th birthday party. I saw her here at this Church after Mass and after our choir concerts.  We always talked and when you spoke to Barbara you always laughed and she generally had a joke or two - and many of you KNOW what I mean.  Barbara was one of those  rare people that when she spoke to you she literally LIT UP and by that I mean - the smile on her face radiated forward and I'll never forget how her eyes sparkled and twinkled like diamonds when she spoke - especially when she was talking of her family which she loved so very deeply

I last saw Barbara at Mercy Hospital in July.  I'm so grateful that I spent those hours with her.  I went up one afternoon and true to form - just like the very first time I met her- we talked and talked to the point I wanted to stay a little longer to AVoid the traffic from Uptown. I could see that she was tired and the events of the last year had taken a lot out of her but her eyes still sparkled.   When I leaned over her bed and kissed her on the forehead I told her - I Love you Ms Barbara - and she told me she loved me as well. I am here today because of that love and because of the immense respect and admiration I had for and will always have for my friend   Barbara.  I'm here because and in her honor.  To celebrate her life and to carry her legacy of what she shared forward.  There are those rare people that come into your life and leave their footprints on your mind, across your heart and on your soul.  Barbara was that type of friend for me.  I'll carry her with me all the days of my life and she will never be forgotten.  Rest in peace Barbara and I know I'll see you again and this time- neither one of us will need " saving"! 

I knew if my Mother continued on the path she was on, she would lose her life as a result.  Although my head understood, my heart would not.  I am in shock and feel like I am living outside of my body.  I am numb and in pain that I know will heal with time.  The last three months have been torture to my spirit.  How could this have happened right under my nose?  I prayed, others prayed but, God had the final word.  His will is done and I must accept it and move on.  Moving on slowly because I got up today