- 53 years old
- Date of birth: Apr 12, 1957
- Place of birth:
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, United States
- Date of passing: Oct 31, 2010
- Place of passing:
Los Angeles, California, United States
|Let the memory of Brendan be with us forever|
"This year was the first year I didn't ask why. At the end of Halloween I drove by the pond we always walked to when I was younger and saw a deer. I watched it and of course thought immediately of you and our times down the Cape and in Makne. When I see deer, I always think of you. I brought mom down and we watched fondly, reminiscing of the good times. I love you like always. I believe you saved me during my car accident this year. Thank you for always being with me. You are always alive in my memories, and I'll never forget you B. Thopank yopou fopor lopookoping opout fopor mope dopuroping mopy opaccopidopent. Opi knopow yopou dopidopin't wopant mope topo dopie opin opa copar thopat dopay. ❤️"
"The book is beautiful. Thanks to Maria, Mary and Haley for persevering in making it."
"Remembering Brendan today. With professional guidance and personal support from Maria Karras, Haley and I completed Bren's memorial book last year. We are grateful for Maria's loving help. It is a wonderful memento of the many happy years we all shared. Tonight we lit a memorial candle for him and put it with the pumpkins and squashes we brought from Northern Retreat's garden. He would have loved it."
"Haley, Maria and I have spent the past few weeks on a beautiful book in your memory. We just finished it. I think you will love it!"
"Hey Brendan, thinking of you as Maria, Mom and I work feverishly to complete your memorial book! You'd like it, I think :) Lopove, Hopalopey"
"When I was alerted that it would have been your birthday this week, I felt disappointed and somewhat angry that you chose to end your life. If you knew how much you would be missed, would that have changed your plans? Nonetheless, wherever your spirit is now, I pray you have found peace and light."
"Happy Birthday sweet Brendan! I think of you so often. I have a handsome, happy photo of you on the inside of my closet that greets me each morning...Sending you love on this day and always. You are so missed...xo
"Thinking of you on your birthday dear Brendan, and everyday. With love always."
"I've learned of this site just today. I would have left a message before if I had been aware. What a tragic loss of life!! Brendan had so much potential and so much to offer. It's a terrible shame that he didn't realize that and didn't find an avenue to lead him to that end. I do hope he's at peace now."
"I just wanted to say how much of a pleasure it was to know you, even if it wasn't for long. You are greatly missed by those around you whose lives you have touched."
"I want to add that a lot of the notes I see on your wall are positive and happy, remembering you fondly. I guess I'm just not quite there yet, at least not right now. I feel furious over what happened, not furious at you but just furious in general, as if maybe there was something I could have done to help you or make you feel less alone. I sometimes think "what if I had called you more often?" Even worse, I think about the time I stood you up one night when I told you I'd meet you at Evan's apartment but I ended up letting you down because I was too drunk to drive over. I have a vivid image in my head of you hopping on my bike and driving over saying "okay i'll see you soon!" and I fully intended on going over, but I was drinking so I literally just lost track of time or got side-tracked and didn't even make it over. I am so mad that I did that, I will never forgive myself for it. I hear you in my head saying "Why didn't you come over?" I think you were hurt.I would do literally anything to be able to go back in time and race over there to see you, because I would be so excited to see you again. I would never do that ever again, if I had the chance to make it up. We could have had more fun experiences if I had just went over to Evan's apartment so we could all hang out.
I was home a couple of months ago and I tore through the garbage bags with your things in them, looking for answers. I didn't find much I guess, because I think underneath it all I'm looking for answers about what happened, and they just aren't there. But I am just so confused, and the questions I have will bother me for the rest of my life, because you are the only one who can answer them and you aren't here. I have your camera here in my closet, and I haven't gone through it yet even though I want to, because doing those kinds of things are huge tasks for me and I have to be in the right mindset to do it. It is really hard.
I never even saw your body Brendan so I sometimes wonder if you are even dead at all. I know I'm crazy but sometimes this fleeting idea comes into my head that maybe you are still out there somewhere."
"Hi Brendan, I was sitting here doing my homework at 3am like a good college student, and my email alerted me that it was the 4th anniversary of your passing. I knew that it was, but getting the notification while i'm sitting her in my living room trying to work really caught me off guard. I feel sad now.
I had a discussion with my boyfriend tonight about Thanksgiving. I told him I really wanted him to come to our family's Thanksgiving rather than his, which is selfish of me, I know. He has a big family and always has so many relatives at his own Thanksgiving dinner. Even if you were here, our family just doesn't have that. But I wanted him to come so bad because last Thanksgiving I was really lonely. There were six of us at the dinner table, Evan and Haley weren't even there, and it sucked. Although I've missed you every day since you died, last Thanksgiving was the worst for me (besides the first set of holidays after you passed, that was terrible.) Thanksgiving felt like a fricking joke, like as if presence is optional. It seemed like people didn't want to be there or didn't even care to come, because literally no one was there. It was so stupid. I didn't want to be as lonely this year so I selfishly tried to get Elliot to come to ours. I've felt that way since you stopped coming.
I feel somehow like in typing this to you, you will hear it. I'm not saying anything to make you feel bad about what happened, I don't want you to feel any more sadness or pain than you already did. I say it because it is the truth for me, and I want you to know how much of a void your absence has on my life and in my heart."
"Happy birthday uncle b! I miss you all the time and think of you quite often. I know you like our times at the beach. I'll keep visiting :) happy birthday uncle b!"
"Happy birthday Bren! Maria and I watched the video of your surprise 50th birthday party at the Kingsley yesterday. We were laughing so much! Your reaction at the airport was so funny when we all picked you and Evan up after your trip to Florida, waiting and hiding in a limo, while you were looking for Bill's truck. Meanwhile you kept missing the limo driver's sign with your name while Bill was coaching you on your cell. By the time we arrived at the Charles Hotel for the second part of the surprise, John and Lucille hiding out of sight when we arrived at the restaurant, you were good and relaxed and ready for anything. Maria and I are working on a book about you ... wistfully enjoying the photos. Love you always."
"We will never forget you dear Brendan."
"I watched all these wonderful photos this AM and I cried. I hope Brendan is ok now. And I hope he knows how much he was loved."
"I love and miss you B. You have been on my mind lately and I miss you so much. There is so much I want to share with you! I got married in June to a man you would love. We speak about you often. When I got married, I knew you were there in spirit, and that made me smile. You live on every day in the lessons you taught me as a girl that I continue to live by today. Thank you for everything."
"Thinking of you today, Brendan. Your smile and goodness remain forever in my memory. Rest in peace, my friend."
"I love you B. Your picture is up in my dorm room so I can see your smiling face every time I walk in the room. You are missed, however I know your spirit is alive with the heartbeat of the earth. You are beautiful, and you taught me patience. No one loves anything as unconditionally as you love. You are free now, just as you always have been. A free man, a free soul, a free spirit."
"Brendan thank you for teaching me about love and forgiveness and acceptance. I love you and think about you often. It has been a good year and we are all doing well. I know you know that, but I wanted to tell you that we miss you and are grateful that you are in our hearts always.
"Brendan, I sent you a huge birthday hug, I hope you got it. In my mind you are just off on one of your "walk-abouts".
Your kind and generous spirit is ever present. I keep you very close to my heart.
PS Thanks for helping me fix the shredder last week ;)"
"Happy birthday, sweetie. I uploaded more pictures, including my favorite of you, kneeling by the goldfish pond when you were a boy - the most beautiful little boy ever. Guess what - the grapefruit tree you grew from a seed had its first two fruit this year! Check out the picture! We are all doing well. I think of you often, on the open road, having new adventures. I love you! Mary"
"Thank you, dear Brendan. You literally gave me the shirt off your back - after 911 - the NYFD T shirt I love so much.
I hope you know that we, your friends and family, wish you peaceand love on your birthday.
Happy Earth Birthday. Such a great soul you are! I trust you are free, happy, peaceful and well loved wherever you are. We sure love you from this side. So happy to know you and remember those twinkling, kind eyes. With love, Megan"
"Thinking of you on the day you were born on earth. You are missed, Brendan. Gone too soon from our world. I pray you are with the angels now. Love, Maria"
I miss you so much, and truly wish you were here.
Baby brother with the kind, sweet heart...We always got to share our birthdays...twins two years apart. But no sibling rivalry on the big day, cause Mom always baked us two different cakes: our choice.
Love you, and miss you very much."
I just learned that you have moved on. You will always have a big, warm place in my heart... such a sensitive, colorful, kind soul. I will always treasure the memories of you and Molly coming for her piano lessons. I wish you peace, love, healing and freedom."
"Brendan we miss you every day. The family is going to share a telephone call tonight in your memory. You are forever in our hearts and we love you always. I miss your awesome Halloween carved pumpkins!"
"You are forever in our hearts, Brendan."
"In Jesus' name, we pray, Holy God, Holy Almighty, Holy Immortal,have mercy on us & the soul of Brendan McFadden,departed from this life one year ago today. If, knowingly or unknowingly, he offended Your goodness in any way, please forgive him and grant peace to his soul now & forever. We pray that You also bring peace to the hearts of his family & friends who hold him so dearly. Amen."
I love you dearly. I hope you're having fun up there :)
"Happy birthday Brendan! You are still with me, as you always were and always will be. I think about you every single day. You're off on a lark somewhere, enjoying the open road, finding meaning & happiness helping someone. I love you forever."
"You are so alive in our hearts, Brendan. I feel as if you are always around.
"Uncle B I love you so much. I am so grateful to have had you in my life for the time I did. You were not just my uncle - you were a second father, an older brother, a friend. I miss you so much, but I find solace knowing that you are on a new adventure now. Opi Lopove Yopou :)
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