CadenceWhat a whole year has flew by without you and it feels like you just left nana Vondas house , yet I know this isn't the case at all

Your favorite holiday is fastly approaching , and goose I'm beginning to think that allot of people have forgotten the true meaning of christmas , then I have to revamp my thoughts and realize that every one is like you knowing that the true meaning isn't about the gifts but about spending it amongst family and friends, and I know that your the only one I want to spend this holiday with just like before me staying all night with you on christmas eve to be there with my princess as you awake on christmas morning, to see your smile, heart your voice as your saying merry Christmas nana and then are kisses to your forehead and the butterfly kisses on our cheeks and seeing those sparkling ocean blue eyes and then you'd go wake bubby and then go jump in bed with mommy and daddy waking them to merry Christmas the happiness, joy, love ,happiness you all have especially at this moment was heart touching the smiles, love, laughter, joy, peace that you and your family have and shared was almost magical the love and bond that you and you mommy have and share is and was equal of that to your mother

In your short lived life hear on earth the many memories that you and nana built and shared were the best times of my life and I'll cherish every single one and hold them so dear to my heart makes nana so heartbroken is the fact that these have become memories and that we'll never get to share or build any more because of the foolish acts and carelessness of a man that thought he was invincible and decided to take it upon himself to ever think he had the right to put your life at risk, who not only put you at risk but also made a decision that cost you and your family and my family your life.the acts of his poor judgement now leaves your mother and I with the what if, the I should've have, if I would've racing through are every thoughts and instead of us holding onto are cherished memories were share over and over in our every thought, we should be building so many more wonderful , awesome memories together and not cherishing the ones we made.

Inn this year that's past I have so many questions life I wonder how long your hair is now, what you do there with your days and nights, what's your feeling pattern in the next dimension, do you mad us just as much as we do you, what size your saying now how tall you've gotten.

I see myself with these plus many more questions going through my mind over and over, even more as grandma ask me to help wrap presents for all the other kids then I began to she'd a tear down my cheek as I think about and tell meema kk would love this or look so pretty on that, and I steer afoul the presents and come too the reality that there's none for you this year goose under the tree and it makes me so  sad goose because I come to the realization that your not physically going to be there with me your mommy bubby and sissy's and your dad and that you won't be there opening gifts with the other kids our that your but heart for you to tell me merry Christmas, or to get to hear any more of your stories our about the things you and your friends said or did and then of course there's christmas dinner and as we all Gather to eat I look up and then it sets that your really gone as I look across at the empty chair and I immediately tear up as we've begun dinner and then I know I'll miss you asking nana to get you mire of papa Larry's noodles and meemaws spiral ham .

Goose I've ask myself a million times why didn't I keep you that day, have mommy pick you up or papa paul, take you home I wish I would've known he was messed up because I promise no matter what you never would've left but you did and I let you, and now today I sit day in day out with regret for not making you stay with nana,I get so mad at myself for not acting upon my gut instinct I could've made a difference between life and your death I'm so sorry my awesome amazing beautiful princess and unfortunately I can't get that moment I time back only live with the what if and the I should've,I love you too the moon and back through the stars 4/ever and always and baby goose when you ask  me on my bday what about me nana, your always nana Vonda prettiest my number one, my whole heart, my everything.

God why did you take cadence she had her whole life, her future, her goals, accomplishments

Baby goose this isn't good bye it only means I'll be missing you until we meet again I LOVE YOU forever and always love your crazy nana Vonda