Going into the 4th year of missing you....how time fly's, it seems to escape your grasp. You close your eyes to sleep at night and you wake up and it's another year gone.

I am lucky enough to have the memories from my childhood when I was 16 and was 1st blessed to have become a member of the Ashcraft family. Boy if you all could hear some of the stories I could write a book.

I will always treasure every moment I had with mom and pop as well as all the other family members and friends.

Love and miss you always mom. 

Before we moved to Perrineville (and possibly after). Whenever one of the four lunatics did something wrong, Mom would yell "GEORGE!!!" None of us were named George, but the guilty person would always show up and say sorry Mom.

I always brought Kitti flowers.  Early on, they were just wildflowers or maybe a stolen rose from a bush in the park, but as I became able to afford them, I would stop at a florist or the flower display at the supermarket and bring her home a bouquet.  Astromeria were favorites as were white roses.  Now when I pass a floral display, I often think I should stop and buy some for Kitti. Then with a sudden hurt I realize I can't bring her flowers anymore.  It has been a year now and it still hurts.

My son Arnold, my new dog Boomer and I visited Kitti today, bringing her flowers from the dogwood trees and some of her iris blossoms.  We also brought the finished stone marker with her name and dates.  That stone was very hard to carve. The woods are just beginning to wake up.  Soon there will be greenery.  I would like to encourage mosses and ferns to grow here. I still can't belive she's gone...

Another of her fancy irises.

This is one of her magnificent purple irises.  At one time we had a large bed of irises of all types and colors.  Sadly, it is now overgrown with wild grapevine and dogwood trees.

Bright Eyes, another favorite African Violet in Kitti's collection.

Kitti kept the house full of plants too.  Several of the casement windows on the east and south sides of the house were replaced with greenhouse windows to provide light for her house plants.  African violets were among her favorites.

Fancy Columnbines in the late spring.  They are gone now.

Kitti loved to garden.  Everything from vegetables and flowers to little white pine tree seedlings that now tower over the house.  She set out the bulbs for the Stargazer lillies shown in this picture about 10 years ago, and they keep coming back every summer.  She was a member of the Pennsylvania Horticultural Society and every spring the Philadelphia Flower Show was a treat for her.

As my favorite holiday approaches I think of all the wonderful Thanksgiving meals we had together as family and friends gathered at the table through out the day to share in the feast, and boy was it a feast fit for the all mighty kings and gods of the great turkey leg!

Pop would be in the kitchen cooking the day before getting prepared for the savage beasts that would be arriving the next day to devour every last scrap that fell to the floor. Mom would have finished her baking of cookies so we could snack on them around the table with a pot of coffee and great conversations as well as a lot of laughter.


I would arrive with 3 children in tow salivating  with their bibs already on and forks in hand. (they were always excited to  to see their grandparents, but I also think they were real hungry) The boys would take out the huge box of Legos and start building their lego creations and mom would sneak them some cookies, Molasses and Lemon Whippersnaps were their favorites. (I have continued with the Lemon Whippersnaps each year for Thanksgiving and Christmas)

Little by little people would arrive as dinner time was getting close. Then we would all sit out in the great room which was built by pop and his sons. We would sit at the massive table drooling excessively waiting for the tasty, moist Turkey and the chestnut stuffing (I never liked stuffing until I had pops, I now make it every year but I add apples and raisins)  I made sure the string on my sweat pants was untied and we all dug in. The turkey was huge, weighed more than the grandchildren but was sufficient for the ever growing clan that came each year.

After dinner was done and cleared from the table we would all have some pie and coffee and relax for awhile, some of us went to Tryptophan heaven, while others just waiting for digestion to take place to go for seconds and thirds. Towards the evening we always fit in a game of scrabble or some word game with some wine and beer and have a very challenging evening. Our scrabble games were very competative  and mom and I always tried to out do each other.

Boy do I miss those times but I have and hold the memories always and forever in my heart and mind.

Happy Thanksgiving Mom you will be missed always. I love you!

Your daughter-in-law Helen   

P.S. There were always leftovers the next day so we usually stayed overnight for the next day.     

OK, Mom didn't just study Psychology at UC. She and I shared the same double major. Architecture and Psychology (and Anthropology, etc.). I went to their Alma Mater, but unfortunately being a person of unusual intelligience I was kicked out with a .4 GPA. (Sorry Dad, but I actually learned more about life at UC than any other point in my life. I learn more through experience. And whilst I didn't go to class's or take any tests, I learned more about life than I did prior).

Mom and I spent alot of time in hospitals. She was always there for me while I went through surgery. And I was there for her after the Pinto Incedent. It's funny in a way, I discovered Jazz while going between Dr's with her and listening to WBGO. OK, back in the 80's they weren't doing real Jazz but a precurser to Kenny G. (Wait, that may have been another station WBGO was good (as was WPRB)).

I remember going to an Off Broadway show with Mom and Dad. "Ain't Misbehaving". Mom was totally enjoying the show, but she was beating on the table totally off rythm. But, I accept my love of music from my parents. Dad has musical aptitude, Mom had love (but no aptitude).

Personally, I dislike myself intensly because I couldn't be there for her in her last years. It was just very hard to see my best friend in my life bereft of her wit. She and I would often argue for hours (Libra's) before we realized that we were taking different perspectives on the same arguement.

Dad wasn't too fond of Mom's debating skills, but that is what I miss the most of her. We would be the Devil's Advocate to each other.

I am glad to hear Dad's memory of her from the beginning. It cracks me up that she may have hypnotized my Dad. I'm sure that it wasn't actual hypnotism, but an amazing lady captivating my Dad.

BTW, these two people brought up 4 highly complicated children in the 70's.

Jonathan always said that we were raised by wolves. Mostly because they (Mom and Dad) let us be who we wanted to be and didn't step in too often to judge. I think that is when Potzer descovered that no one was in charge and took charge of the little wolflings. I still am pissed off with Potzer for his hubress. And dislike that he and I share qualities.

I miss her.

And I am not entirely sure that I accept that she is dead. OK, I am still in the denial part. I wish that I could atleast figure out that lady I may have never known is not here anymore.There is one picture of her before the Picture of her on the green (the ring scene, where I can see her looking at me and telling me to get over myself.)

Mom is still looking out for me.

Dad, you were incredibly lucky to have found her. I thought I knew her, but she was more than we all suspected.

Giddlewidget

Dad, I am so glad that you at least got to spend 55 years with an amazing lady. My only hope is with a lady I might meet in another life. You met Amy, she lives in Minnesota. And she is probably the only one for me. We continue to talk, but although she and I understand each other more than anything, we have a geogrophical disability. She lives in Minnesota, and I live everywhere I don't want to live. I tell her that we may find each other in a retirement home one day. But we would do much better off finding ourselves as children in another life.

Gid

     On the evening of November 5, 1957, I had just attended a lecture and demonstration of hypnosis sponsored by the psychology club at the University of Cincinnati where I was a sophomore.  During the demonstration, the lecturer hypnotised the entire audience and gave us the post-hypnotic suggestion that we would each send him a Christmas Card and that we would always remember this date.  I walked back to my apartment, feeling a bit skeptical. 

     When I got home, I found two of my roommates engrossed in a game of chess at the kitchen table.  Seated next to one of them was a young lady having a cup of tea and looking very bored and neglected.  The roommate next to her made a distracted introduction of his "date" to me and went back to the game.  I sat down across from her and proceded to tell her about the hypnotist.  It soon developied that she was a psychology major in her junior year and the conversation shifted to joking about "You are getting very drowsy", accompanied by her slowly moveing the teaspoon back and forth before my eyes.  Well, one thing led to another, and she and I were soon best friends and dating. 

     Of course, the young lady was Kitti who became my wife and beloved companion for almost 55 years.

     I never did send the hypnotist that Christmas card, but I have certainly remembered the date.

After a long time apart Kitti and best friend Donna finally get together again...

I took a walk today, down a winding woodland trail and came to the quiet spot where she rests.  A tiny holly tree grows beside her.

I took a walk today, down a winding woodland trail and came to the quiet spot where she rests.  A tiny holly tree grows beside her.

I think this means "There's that silly man with the camera again."  She often hid from the camera, so I had to sneak up on her.  I think this was in Spain in 2003.

There was a little park near Kitti's apartment on Auburn Ave in Cincinnati.  We would walk there in good weather.  This picture was taken on a beautiful spring day in 1958 after I gave her my High School Class Ring.  This had to do for an engagement ring...

Kitti gave me this picture in January of 1958.  It has lived in my wallet ever since, somewhat worse for the wear, but treasured nontheless.  I believe it is her class picture when she was a high school senior.

It was March 17th 1980 we arrived at my doctor appointment to see how far along I was with my pregnancy with my first child and the first grandchild. (I was due in 2 weeks). The doctor (Dr. Shapiro) said you are 2 centimeters dialated we have about another week. If you want the baby quicker just ride on the bumpy roads in Princeton. (just kidding of course) So mom got me in her car and we drove around the bumpy roads of Princeton and went to lunch at our favorite Greek restaurant. After we were done with lunch we went window shopping, our favorite thing to do together and then mom took me to the grocery store. She finally dropped me off around 3pm because she had to be at her dentist appointment. Well the baby decided it was time to come. When Aaron got home from work I told him I think I was having contractions in my back we called the doctor and he said to head to the hospital. Aaron went to start the car but it would not work. We had to track his mom down at the dentists office they pulled her out of the chair and sent her on her way to pick us up. When I got in the hospital room she started knitting feverishly to finish the sweater for the baby that was not due for 2 more weeks. After waiting 5 hours our first son and first grandson Aaron David Jr was born at 9pm on March 17th, St. Patricks day 1980. He was beautiful and the first addition of many grandchildren and great grandchildren to arrive.

One of Kitti's favorite things was to go to New Orleans during the French Quarter Festival the weekend after Easter.  She loved Jazz, Cajun and Creole quisine and all the little antique shops and art galleries.

Since her college classics course at the University of Cincinnati, Kitti always wanted to travel to Turkey and see the archeological site of ancient Troy.  Here she is in 2004 on the battlements.  I am sure she sees the Greeks bearing gifts in the distance...

Kitti was a skilled gardener of both flowers and vegetables.  Her pride and joy were her irises and the tens of thousands of daffodils that turned our borders yellow in the spring as well as the African violets she grew on every window sill in the house.  Our yard is still beautiful even though she had not been able to work in it for years.

What a great picture of both Kitti and Clif, and a great memory of getting to know Kitti better on the Philomusica trip to England! You two shared an amazing bond and always seemed to be enjoying each other's company.

I am so very sorry, my dear Clif, about Kitti's passing, and am sending you all good thoughts and prayers for healing in these days to come. These pictures are wonderful and such a neat glimpse into your lives together -- thanks for sharing them in the generous way you always do.

Much love to you, Jonathan and the whole family during this difficult time --

Regina Pfohl

This picture was taken 5 days after the birth of our second son Aaron in Palo Alto California in 1961 before it became Silicon Valley.  Kitti looks like a little girl with a doll in this picture.  She was only 23.

First I have to say we LOVE that picture of Noah and Kitti in the boat!
Dan and I are remembering lots of wonderful dinners with Clif & Kitti.  The last one was at a Greek restaurant near where Kitti was a patient in a rehabilitation hospital.  She was so happy to "escape" from that place!  The food was delicious, we ate slowly, talked a lot, laughed a lot and just had a marvelous time!  Kitti and I liked the same books.  If I would mention a book I was reading, it would turn out she had already read it!  What an interesting, bright person she was!  She will be in our hearts forever.

Dan and Harriet 

I've run into Kitti so many times throughout the years, knowing her through Clif.  She always struck me as a fun person with a sharp wit.  I liked her so much!  I thank Clif for sharing these great pictures, a glimpse into both of their lives throughout the years.  She looks so beautiful in the Berkeley picture.  My sympathy and love to all of her family.

Kitti and Clif with first three sons Arnold, Aaron and Jonathan and a couple of the family cats.  We lived in Pine Grove Manor, a coop apartment village in Franklin Township, NJ.

Kitti and our very cuddly (anxious) GSD Noah on my son Aaron's boat in Maine in 2004.  Noah's gone too.  He died on August 3 this year at the grand old age of twelve and a half years.  Dogs just don't live long enough...

I believe one of our kids is getting a stern lecture in this picture.  I suspect it was Jonathan.

In a garden in Portimão Portugal.

This picture was taken in a restaurant in Canterbury England in 2000 during the concert tour of Philomusica.  The mural is a scene from Canturbury tales.  Like the pilgrims, we were heading for the cathedral where the choir sang the next day.

The Altlantic off Biarritz France on one of our vacations.  We met our friends Ralph and Judith here for dinner.  She loved this view...

On her 74th birthday last year, October 6.  She had just finished the little chocolate cake I surprised her with.  Mmmm, that was good chocolate.  She didn't quiite make it to her 75th.