Her Eulogy - delivered November 10, 2012
Eulogy of the life of Cheryl Lynn Pointer-Byrne,
Born on Friday, September 11, 1959
Died on Thursday, August 30th, 2012.
She shared her life with us for a short 19,347 days.
Thank you all for coming here today to celebrate Cheryl’s life, memories of her, and to share our grief at her passing. For anyone who may not know me, my name is Linda, and I am Cheryl’s older sister. This eulogy was difficult for me to write. It is hard summarize my sister’s too short life in a few pages. Her story and everyone’s memories could fill a book.
I invite all of you here today who have memories of Cheryl to share those memories with us after I finish. If you prefer not to speak of your memories, will you please write them on memory sheets that are on the table? Our family is making a book with cards and stories to help us never forget her. I have created a website for Cheryl at Forevermissed.com. I will post a video we had made, as well as this eulogy, and let you know that you can post memories, pictures, or whatever at the website.
Cheryl was born 52 years ago on a Friday in Edmonton, Alberta. She was child number 5 for Frieda and Cecil Pointer, and only the second girl in the family. I was the oldest and because I only had brothers, I kept asking Mom for a sister. I always thought that Mom and Dad had Cheryl especially for me, and I called her my baby, much to my Mom’s disapproval. Although I was only 8 years old when she was born, I took my roll of big sister very seriously, and I made it my job to look after her when she was a baby. I would put her down for her nap, and if you all remember Cheryl, getting her to rest was not an easy thing to do. I would become so frustrated because all she wanted to do was play, and I would put my hands over her eyes just to get her to fall asleep.
She was an active little girl, always on the move, always trying to keep up to her brothers, always wanting what they had, always in their face. She loved to be the centre of attention, and she drove her brothers crazy. Mom used to call her “Rooster” because her hair stuck up and Dad called her “Dolly” because she was his baby doll. I don’t know if she knew she was a girl back then. I would get so grossed out when she picked up handfuls of worms after it rained and then would play with them.
I wanted her to be a pretty little girly girl, but that seldom happened when she was small. When she grew up, that all changed. She was beautiful, always had her hair, nails and makeup perfect, and her clothes, shoes and jewelry all co-coordinating. She never left the house unless she looked perfect.
Cheryl was accident prone her entire life, probably because she was always on the move. Sometimes she got hurt, sometimes things got broken. I remember a time when she was about 6 years old, she was hula dancing in the living room, and going for it with the hip moves and she knocked over one of mom’s plants on a plant stand. Things like that happened all the time.
Fast forward a few years to a pre-teen. Again, always trying to compete with her brothers, and still not liking to waste time sleeping. It was not unusual for Cheryl to go to bed, (actually, she just put on her pj’s and went to her room) and then the pounding, furniture moving, sounds of things breaking would start. She was a night owl her whole life.
When she was 10 years old, Cheryl and all our family (except me) moved to Shilo, Manitoba, where they lived for 5 years. During her young years in Shilo, Cheryl excelled in sports, winning many awards for competition in badminton, bowling and other sports. In Shilo, she made many friends; some of them remained friends for life, and who were still in contact with her all these years. I never got to meet those friends back then, but now, thanks to technology, I’ve been able to meet those friends on-line, and they have shared many wonderful memories of time spent with her.
The family moved back to Calgary when Cheryl was fifteen, and I was ecstatic to have my baby sister back with me. Especially now since I had my own child, and I figured she would babysit for me. That didn’t last too long because Cheryl, being a social butterfly and a teenager, now had things to do, places to be, people to see, things to break. Mom always tried to get her to slow down, but Cheryl burned the proverbial candle at both ends all her life. As always, Cheryl made many more lifelong friends, some who are here today.
Cheryl loved to be outside. She loved plants and gardening and anything outdoors. She loved the sun, and was a sun-bunny, always having a nice tan. She was a guy’s girl – she changed the transmission in her car by herself when she was only 17 years old. She rode her motorcycle around when women did not ride motorcycles. She loved to camping and dune buggying. She loved adventure and she was spontaneous, like the time she decided to drive to BC and surprise us by showing up at our campsite. She always tried to fix her own stuff, probably because she broke it herself. It didn’t matter if it was a dress, or a toaster, or a car. Most times, it worked out, sometimes not so well, like when she changed her transmission and got the shifter in backwards. It worked anyway, so she left it and shifted it in the opposite direction.
And then, her 18th birthday. That birthday was always a special memory for her and for me. She told her boyfriend that she had a lonely older sister, and he said he had a lonely older brother. They set-up a blind date on her birthday, we all went out for dinner. She showed her ID, and we all ordered drinks at midnight as she turned 18. Long story short, 33 years later, Paul and I are still going strong. Through the years, Cheryl and I shared many laughs and memories about that night. Cheryl was my maid of honor at my wedding, as I was at her wedding to Shane.
During her adult life, she worked for the City of Calgary as a seasonal employment clerk. Some of you here today were hired by her. She worked until 1992 when she was brain injured in an unfortunate bicycle accident. The brain injury changed her life and she was unable to continue as an active employee with the City.
While at home, she discovered genealogy. I never had a clue how into it she was until she died. I found 2 full legal sized boxes, plus tons of information on her computer, of the Pointer side of the family, going back as far back as the first Generation Poynter, William, who was born in 1765 in Delaware. (By the way, our name was spelt POYNTER back then). Her files contain so much information, contacts, birth and death announcements, clipped copy from newspapers, e-mails from contacts. It blew me how much she accomplished. I want to go through it all, and finish the task she started. She didn’t get much on our mom’s side of the family, but I knew that she intended to once she finished with the Pointer side.
Cheryl was a kind person, always wanting to help anyone. If you had a problem, she was the person to talk to. She was very spiritual and spent many hours reading books on self improvement, self help, spiritual help, and metaphysical stuff. When our new baby was born, and our house in Redwood Meadows was not ready to live in, Cheryl offered us a place to stay, even though she already had a roommate, her house was already crowded and not kid friendly. No problem for her – she welcomed us in.
Cheryl was a lifelong animal lover. She’s had dogs, cats, fish, ferrets, just to name a few. She always had an aquarium or 2, and a dog or 2. Her beloved dog Teisha died a few years ago, and Cheryl will be interred in Claybank, Saskatchewan, and her dog will be there with her. Carley, a gentle female boxer, was her last dog and was her constant companion until the end. She loved that dog so much, and never went anywhere without her. The dog slept on the bed with her every night, and her photo albums are filled with pictures of Carley, just like us who have children have albums filled with those pictures.
Cheryl had a quirky sense of humor and was always sharing jokes and funnies. She kept a book of everyone’s birthday and wedding anniversaries from the time she was young, and always tried to remember birthdays and special occasions. Until the day she died, she had a list of her friends and all their phone numbers, even those friends from her teens.
Cheryl and I were always close, but in the last 10 years, the bond between us grew even closer. There is a saying that “sisters are bound together by heartstrings” and I know we were. I got her a picture with that saying on it after she dropped everything she was doing and came to BC to stay at our home during a family crisis.
Even though she lived in Winnipeg the last years of her life, we still connected. She saved her coins that her and I rolled and found she had enough to go to Mexico with Paul and me in 2008. She got a room next to us, and guess what. Time to go to bed, she went to her room. Paul and I could hear furniture moving and other unknown things moving well into the night. It turns out, her room was not cleaned before she got it, and she had the maids come and clean it at midnight. Even so, the light shone under the door every night after that and stayed on almost all night as she watched TV or read.
I would fly out to Winnipeg a couple of times a year. She and I always did something special when I visited. A few years ago, she helped me find Paul’s birth father’s gravesite in Winnipeg, and her and I cleaned the site and laid flowers. She and I would always go out once to the Keg for dinner while I was there. I always wanted her to do the “grand tour of Winnipeg” with me, but it never happened.
When I was out to visit her in April/May this year, we had the best visit ever. She and I would work during the day, we would cook something special, and we would watch her fish fight in the aquarium at night, watch TV, whatever. We shared so many laughs. Who knew it would be the last time I saw her as she dropped me off at the airport? I’m so glad that we held on long for that last hug.
I always thought the 2 of us would grow old together. For me, Cheryl’s death was a wakeup call. Forgive, forget, no grudges, be kind, speak and show love. No more taking life for granted. Never pass up a chance to say I love you to the people you care about. Look for joy or beauty every day, because it is there even if it is small. No guarantees that you or I or your loved ones will wake up to see another sun rise.
Cheryl leaves behind her family and so many friends to mourn her. I know that she is at peace. I know she is happy. I can feel her laughing and smiling. I can see that in my heart. I know that she is in heaven now with the grandmother that she adored, her grandfather, her Dad Cecil, and nephews Ryan and Joel. She walks beside me every day, and now she is taking care of me, helping me get over life without her.