ForeverMissed
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Chris Almon, 17 years old.  Born on May 12, 1998 and passed away on January 25, 2016.  Our friend, our brother, our groups 'Junior', often lovingly called 'Salmon' by friends;  may you find the peace you were searching for wherever you are now. 

We will remember you as you were, not as the world wanted you to be.  And will continue fighting your battles. 
May 12, 2020
May 12, 2020
Happy Birthday, Chris.

I'll be spending today playing our favorite games and thinking about you to honor your memories, wherever you are. I bet all our friends are doing the same!

Must be an insane influx in people re - playing The Last of Us and Borderlands 2 right now. Well... uh, we miss you. Bye!
January 25, 2020
January 25, 2020
Today is the fourth anniversary of your passing. It still feels weird, doesn't it? The world without you in it. Oh! The Last of Us 2 should almost be coming out. I pre - ordered it and will be playing it for the both of us.

I ... don't think the word 'anniversary' is the right word for days like these. Anniversaries seem like they should be happy days.

I miss you.
January 26, 2018
January 26, 2018
Lighting a candle for someone that was and is special. I hope you have found peace and acceptance where ever you are now Chris and can forgive those that couldn't or wouldn't accept the real you here in this world.
May 12, 2017
May 12, 2017
Happy birthday, Chris! The world is a little less bright without you... but I'm managing, knowing you're looking out for me from heaven. I'll see you there somewhere in the late future, hopefully.
January 25, 2017
January 25, 2017
Well... shit. It's been a year, my friend. Everyone still misses you. I miss you.
May 12, 2016
May 12, 2016
Happy birthday, Chris. This year was supposed to be your year! I keep confusing your birth date, but hey... at least I didn't come to congratulate you on the wrong day this time?
February 1, 2016
February 1, 2016
It's been a week and people are already expecting me to be over your passing. I don't think I ever will be. Chris, you deserved so much more than this.
January 28, 2016
January 28, 2016
So sad to loose someone from our world that just wanted to be loved and accepted - When will we learn it's what's inside someone's heart and soul that matters - Chris I did not know you but reading what those that loved you as you were have written I wish I did. Rest in peace and know that you were loved and are mssed
January 28, 2016
January 28, 2016
I might not have known you, but the stories and notes I see from others make me wish I did. A strong, brave guy who might've felt like the world was against him. May people, parents, learn from you.
I might not be good in making poems, and I might be someone who never really knew you. Yet I will leave something behind, just like you did. You left not only tears, but also a reason for people to raise their voices and talk about things like these. You made people open their eyes, and hopefully your parents will also open theirs.

When people look up hight, to the constellations in the sky,
know that your name will resound in their head, your story they will never forget.
And even on a dreadfull day, the memory of you will make some pain go away.
Though your time might be short, ended by death's knife,
they will look back at smiles and tears when remembering your life.
Because in that horrible dark, the thought of you will light a spark.
May you be the angel that leads people into the light,
may you be free now, your feelings no longer have to hide.


Rest in peace, dear Chris. And may you find another life, one filled with acceptance and love. You are worth it, and you will be dearly missed.
January 26, 2016
January 26, 2016
I don't know this wonderful young man, but it is tragic that he is a light gone from our world. May his light continue to live on in the hearts of all he touched. May his friends find peace and comfort, and may he rest in power. He accomplished more than many men have.

Thank you for your time and effort making and running this, Emile.
January 26, 2016
January 26, 2016
May your wings guide you further into a better life.
January 26, 2016
January 26, 2016
Where ever this brave young man is now, I hope he's happy and finally in a world that sees and accepts him for who he is. He will live on authentically in the memory of his loved ones, until they meet again and can laugh and love like they did in more troubled times.
January 26, 2016
January 26, 2016
My mother has written him into her book, Chris will never be forgotten by us. She add this poem (not all grammatically correct, but beautiful either way).

For Chris, the boy that didn't reach eighteen year old.

To all the angels up in de sky:
Can you please tell me why,
the god my parents seem to know
is not able to support and love

don’t send me your answer rigthaway
I will soon be seeing you anyway
I assume you will recognize my soul
Along the way its colours went dark

Please call me by my own name
Not by the one my parents once gave
For I will come to you as my purest me
Not as the one they wanted me to be

To all the angels up in the sky:
Can you tell me if I am right,
Will I be free from sorrow and pain
And can I be the one I am

Don’t send me your answer rigthaway
I will soon be seeing you anyway

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Recent Tributes
May 12, 2020
May 12, 2020
Happy Birthday, Chris.

I'll be spending today playing our favorite games and thinking about you to honor your memories, wherever you are. I bet all our friends are doing the same!

Must be an insane influx in people re - playing The Last of Us and Borderlands 2 right now. Well... uh, we miss you. Bye!
January 25, 2020
January 25, 2020
Today is the fourth anniversary of your passing. It still feels weird, doesn't it? The world without you in it. Oh! The Last of Us 2 should almost be coming out. I pre - ordered it and will be playing it for the both of us.

I ... don't think the word 'anniversary' is the right word for days like these. Anniversaries seem like they should be happy days.

I miss you.
January 26, 2018
January 26, 2018
Lighting a candle for someone that was and is special. I hope you have found peace and acceptance where ever you are now Chris and can forgive those that couldn't or wouldn't accept the real you here in this world.
Recent stories

For Chris Almon,

January 26, 2016

Some of you might know him as chrisalmon from gendereurope, or christ-salmon from the gangder Skype group, his Tumblr URL (if he had one, I will have to ask Roy) was probably another fish-related joke. Some of you might not know him at all.

I have never been good at dealing with loss, especially not such grave one, but being a story writer is good for one thing: I know words.
 

 

Its January the 25th, 2016, just passed three in the morning when I received the message. It was send by Roy, one of the few people of Gendereurope that still contacts me regularly. He told me he found the online condolences of one ’***** Almon’, followed by the link.

I didn’t really understand why he send me that, though the last name should have tipped me off. I guess I just didn’t want to know. Then I saw the photo of *****, all prim and proper. A young girl with piggy tails and a dress. Only it wasn’t really a girl.

“I’m pretty sure it’s Chris.” Roy had continued, I don’t think I will ever forget those words. “I’m sorry.”

My hands were shaking and I felt tears brimming at my eyes, threatening to fall “Me too.” I replied, and that were all the words I could find. I was sorry too.

I didn’t sleep the rest of the night, I just cried.

The next morning I decide to act like nothing had happened, grandma was sick and my family had enough to worry about.

I went on with my day, sometimes hiding away in the toilets when things became too much. Eventually I broke and messaged my mom, she already knew about my friend Chris, so I guessed she deserved to know.

[12:36 25-01-2016] Emile: Ik durfde het niet in het echt te zeggen, omdat ik dingen niet te zwaar wil maken, maar ik vind toch dat je het moet weten.
[12:36 25-01-2016] Emile: Chris is dood.

A simple translation would be “I didn’t want to bother you, but I think you should know. Chris died.” I couldn’t cry, because I was in the middle of a photography course.

Life is unfair. I know people say that a lot, so do I, but never felt it as strongly as that day. When we were both still alive, Chris and I would share all our secrets, fears and hopes for the future. Now the future he hopes for was gone and my future would be completely different. A future without Chris.

On a particular bad day, a few months prior, Chris told me that his biggest fear was to be buried under a false name, one that wasn’t truly his. I used to share that fear with him. For him, that fear has now come true, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Roy and I decide to set up our own condolence register online, with Chris’ preferred name, his real name. Somewhere we could remember him like he was and not like his parents wanted him to be.

I am more motivated than ever to tell people my story, but also Chris’ and those of all struggling people out there. Stories cloaked by fantasy, where our demons are the dragons we need to face and our transition the beautiful change that happens along the way.

I wonder what Chris would think and how much of what he told me in all the years we chat was true. It doesn’t matter. He is gone.

Last morning (the 26th) I send Roy a message about www.forevermissed.com and how perfect it would be for Chris and he went to it as soon as he woke. Once everything was done, he let me mess with the layout. In retrospect, I am pretty sure it wasn’t needed, but Roy knew how important it was to me to be a part of this.

I made a song list to add in his tribute, filled with soothing songs that Chris would have loved. I’ve been listening to it on repeat myself. I am feeling numb, unable to deal with loss unless it’s with productivity. I think I got that from my mom.

We are not legally allowed to post photos of the deceased, that word still makes me shudder, online unless you got permission of the legal guardians. At least that’s what Roy read in the regulations. It doesn’t make much sense to me, but rules are rules. Right now we are trying to figure out how to still make it look like a professional condolence, but it’s harder than it looks. We stuck with the idea of gathering artwork made for him and would appreciate help.

Roy and I have been shouldering the heavy burden of telling all the other friends Chris has made online about his passing. Roy said I didn’t have to do it, but I won’t let him carry this on his own. We both never realised how many lives he had touched until now. How many people will be missing him. It hurts and seems to make the loss bigger.

If I would have done more, if we would have done more, would he still be alive? To keep ourselves distracted from that question, we simply keep spreading the word in hopes it will reach the parents of other transgendered children. Don’t abandon your child. You might lose your ‘little girl’, but at least you would still have a son. Or the other way around.

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