August 10, 2022
August 10, 2022
I am the father of chance,
"CATS IN THE CRADLE...(incompleted)"
Still difficult, emotional, hard to keep it together, Christ... Still Fall apart and every attempt to address the situation. " My son ". As I do everyday, in my own way I pray that now he watches over me!
I am ex-military have worked at the highest level ( Green Beret) a skill set which I've mastered "show no weaknesses) was unable to be...let's say infiltrated w/emotion/ weakness!
My "LOSS" which has affected every facet of my life FORCING ME TO CONFINE MYSELF AND CONDEMN SOCIETY, in an attempt to hide my ability to "show no weakness "to include and/or where it matters which would be with loved ones. He was just a better everything than me !! Tthis pains me, forcing me to strategically excuse myself and/ or be patient.
Now that I've become older I find myself developing and coming out of the adolescent phase of being insolent. characteristic of less tolerant. Have become a "Just get to the point!" Personality.
Initially I had some sort of personality victimized syndrome shit. Which made it easy to confine myself.
_, VICTIM PERSONALITY DISORDER_
People who have a victim mentality have often suffered through trauma or hard times, but haven't developed a healthier way to cope. As a result, they develop a negative view of life, where they feel that they don't have any control over what happens to!
I should say " by the grace of the Lord quotation marks I am still here and however, I still only wish, hope, have prayed to go home! Do trade places! Even my son the CHANCE he deserved! Apologizing for failing him as I did condemn his trip, as I did Express my position on him and his mother's relationship. To understand the analogy of "comfort mistaken for weakness! "
For him to respond with dad, you always said no matter what the circumstance to include my opinion, to "STAND BY MY MOTHER!"
Christ, my heart
Becoming reckless,WHAT WAS I THINKING, TO FIND THE LORD " n his plan becoming slightly functional.
Recently my service pet a ,
which my son's mother had gave him on his 17th birthday. Probably was one of the most beautiful things she has ever done! Well, Shyanne (a white Wolf ) has passed. The last meaningful thing I've had of my son's. Attempting to hold it together I managed to fail with two relationships over 7 years,! Well, the 2nd as I write. Feeling I lose everything I love, truly want nothing more than to have my son! Trade with my son! Go home to my son! Have Back the opportunity, "I've truly "FAILED " my son!
I truly do not know day by day, and trusting the lord, however he was would be the better man! Everyday, so real, incomplete!
CAN'T FIX IT!
IDK!
WHAT I CAN SAY IS " ENJOY NO CHERISH EVERY MOMENT ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S HARD! " THAT'S AN ORDER!
I MUST GO!
"CATS IN THE CRADLE...(incompleted)"
Still difficult, emotional, hard to keep it together, Christ... Still Fall apart and every attempt to address the situation. " My son ". As I do everyday, in my own way I pray that now he watches over me!
I am ex-military have worked at the highest level ( Green Beret) a skill set which I've mastered "show no weaknesses) was unable to be...let's say infiltrated w/emotion/ weakness!
My "LOSS" which has affected every facet of my life FORCING ME TO CONFINE MYSELF AND CONDEMN SOCIETY, in an attempt to hide my ability to "show no weakness "to include and/or where it matters which would be with loved ones. He was just a better everything than me !! Tthis pains me, forcing me to strategically excuse myself and/ or be patient.
Now that I've become older I find myself developing and coming out of the adolescent phase of being insolent. characteristic of less tolerant. Have become a "Just get to the point!" Personality.
Initially I had some sort of personality victimized syndrome shit. Which made it easy to confine myself.
_, VICTIM PERSONALITY DISORDER_
People who have a victim mentality have often suffered through trauma or hard times, but haven't developed a healthier way to cope. As a result, they develop a negative view of life, where they feel that they don't have any control over what happens to!
I should say " by the grace of the Lord quotation marks I am still here and however, I still only wish, hope, have prayed to go home! Do trade places! Even my son the CHANCE he deserved! Apologizing for failing him as I did condemn his trip, as I did Express my position on him and his mother's relationship. To understand the analogy of "comfort mistaken for weakness! "
For him to respond with dad, you always said no matter what the circumstance to include my opinion, to "STAND BY MY MOTHER!"
Christ, my heart
Becoming reckless,WHAT WAS I THINKING, TO FIND THE LORD " n his plan becoming slightly functional.
Recently my service pet a ,
which my son's mother had gave him on his 17th birthday. Probably was one of the most beautiful things she has ever done! Well, Shyanne (a white Wolf ) has passed. The last meaningful thing I've had of my son's. Attempting to hold it together I managed to fail with two relationships over 7 years,! Well, the 2nd as I write. Feeling I lose everything I love, truly want nothing more than to have my son! Trade with my son! Go home to my son! Have Back the opportunity, "I've truly "FAILED " my son!
I truly do not know day by day, and trusting the lord, however he was would be the better man! Everyday, so real, incomplete!
CAN'T FIX IT!
IDK!
WHAT I CAN SAY IS " ENJOY NO CHERISH EVERY MOMENT ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S HARD! " THAT'S AN ORDER!
I MUST GO!