- 23 years old
- Date of birth: Jan 19, 1989
- Date of passing: Mar 21, 2012
|Let the memory of Claire be with us forever|
"5 years...It seems incredible.. for that amount of time to have passed without you by my side in the world. I have felt every second of your absence, as I am sure to continue to. I miss you so much dear sweet Claire. My heart and soul is crushed. Crushed under the weight of grief and shame, guilt and remorse at letting you down. I'm so, so deeply sorry. Its a terrible cross to bear, but nothing in comparison to not having you. I love you Claire X X X X"
"This would have been your birthday today Honey Bee X. You loved your birthday so much. X X X X
I am so devastated in every way that you are no longer here. Every day is just a drudge of not even feeling like an existence without you. I am haunted every day at my regrets at letting you down. I am so so so sorry. and now I pay the price. and Such a price I pay. nearly 5 years now since you left, and I am still here! I wish I knew what the point of me still being here in the world is for when it is so unhappy and such a struggle for me in every way. I miss you so much sweet darling. I Love You X X X X"
"Claire loved all kinds of art and creativity. She was very wise and insightfull about many things she had no personal experience of. She had obviously been been here before and had learned a lot. Claire enjoyed reciting this poem ;
Twice Shy by Seamus Heaney
Her scarf a la Bardot,
In suede flats for the walk,
She came with me one evening
For air and friendly talk.
We crossed the quiet river,
Took the embankment walk.
Traffic holding its breath,
Sky a tense diaphragm:
Dusk hung like a backcloth
That shook where a swan swam,
Tremulous as a hawk
Hanging deadly, calm.
A vacuum of need
Collapsed each hunting heart
But tremulously we held
As hawk and prey apart,
Preserved classic decorm,
Deployed our talk with art.
Had taught us both to wait,
Not to publish feeling
And regret it all to late -
Mushroom loves already
Had puffed and burst in hate.
So, charry and excited,
As a thrush linked on a hawk,
We thrilled to the March twilight
With nervous childish talk:
Due to medical negligence, Claire was severley physically disabled. But she did not have a learning disability. Claires life and mine was destroyed by social services agencies making it a legal fact that she had. and so gave them all the legal power to take a front seat in every aspect of our lives. Her rights. and mine were disregarded. it blows my mind to the point that i cant bear to even think of it for a second. of a second , how much wisdom Claire had in her little finger in comparison to each and every one of those so called professionals. They are meer fools. Claire did not suffer fools. it must have been absolute tortoure for her to have to endure being patronised and handled by so so many fools. Claire was like a diamond, so many shimmering faucets to her character and personality, great dignity, integrity and class. She really really was one of a kind. regretably i turned out to be a fool also, because i ended up taking Claire for granted, to my lasting shame. The light has gone out of me without her.
I am So Sorry. my life and existence since has made sure that i pay the price for making so many mistakes. Never with intention, just being a selfish idiot, such a long list of fools Claire had to put up with, its bizarre. truely bizarre lives we have both had."
"4 Years! 4 years Claire. that i have trudged these roads without you, your absence is painfully felt every step of the way. You most definately went too too soon. Shity elgin lay dormant for years and you grew very bored with the daily humbrum of the place. now paths and tracks have been tarmaced that we could have strolled along with ease. we stopped going to the park bcause the paths were too lumpy and your chair by then too heavy and tippy for it to be comfortable or safe. i have to go past the park most days, but i couldnt face walking in. there is a great path all tarmaced along the edge of the river in a high bank. that hurts my heart and soul to see on the way pasr. i know for sure that we would have used these paths dog walking at least once a week. you could have recited the poem you memorised. " Twice Shy" by Seamus Heany" I will type it up on here for you since i am no longer with you to prompt you with the first word of a new line.
it makes me sad to wonder if you were looking down when some nasty person stole the things from your headstone. i walked for miles to put down flowers this xmas day past . to discover that some items were missing. who could look at the photo of your pretty smiling face on your memorial stone then help themself to things that obviously have a significant meaning for you. unbelievable.people are still horrible Claire. no change there. If you have already reincarnated. or for when you do, i pray that people are honest and decent to you. I have never met anyone else that comes even close to your unique specialness, wise, witty, generous and kind, loving and caring, full of courage, the heart of lion in bravery. determind, a great sense of adventure and zest for possibilities, until your life was governed and destroyed by others. i will write an account of some of it on here Claire so at least it is noted somewhere as no one wanted to know or do anything about it. MISS YOU SOOO MUCH Honey Bee X X X X"
"Missing you as ever Honey Bee, still as ever too deeply painful to express how much i miss you. Thinking about you today on what used to be your birthday, as i think about you every single hour of every day. Lots of Love, Hugs and Kisses from mum and Ewan X X X X"
"2 years already i have had to endure without you Claire. There is no words to describe the pain that is constant without you X X X X this is what i do without you. . .. . . Ewan misses you terribly. Your absence in the world is a void that cannot be filled or not felt. We love you always and forever X X X X Lots of Love from mum and Ewan X X X X"
"I miss you so so much Honey Bee, i long to hug you and be with you again. I am nothing and pointless without you. i think about you every second of every day, there is no joy to be had without you, and anything that would have once been viewed as fun, is now tinged with sadness because you arnt there. i still always have fresh flowers you at home, and a candle lit at night, but am sure you know that as i feel you so close some days its as if you are right there by my side, i have lost you in my physical earthly life, but you havnt left me, Thank you Claire for not leaving me, love you lots Babe X X X X"
"you were so , so special, brave and wonderfull, i am so sorry that i forgot that, and lost my way, and in doing so, i lost you Claire, i am so sorry i let you go, i am nothing without you darling, i am shocked and totally confused and bewlidered as to why i let you down,, i am so sorry Claire, so , so sorry X X X X"
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