ForeverMissed
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Her Life

My Mother..My Inspiration

January 29, 2012

My Mom was such a wonderful Mom, Grandmother, GreatGrandmother, Aunt, Sister, Wife and Nurse. She graduated high school when she was 15 and then graduated from Adelphi University when she was 19..she was a Registered Nurse. I always remember from a little girl, watching my Mom leave for work in her white uniform and white cap. She always looked like an Angel and always beautiful. She had more courage than any one I know besides my Dad. Before she left for work every day, she would prepare dinner for us so when we got home from school, all 9 of us could sit at the dinner table and enjoy a delicious meal. She was always a giver. She told me one day that it was always better to give then receive. She never bought anything for herself...always bought for her husband and children. I am so lucky to have had her for my Mother and she taught me well..to love, to respect, to have morals and so much more. Now, as I get older, I can see my Mother in me..and I am so proud!!! She has made me what I am today and I am grateful. I miss her more than words can say..she certainly is gone too soon...my heart has a void due to her not being here any more. I moved to Florida when I was 19, and she paid for my plane ticket every year to come home and visit, for 20 years. Then when she and my Dad retired and moved to Las Vegas, I moved here to be here with them, not only because I knew it was time to be near them again, but God forbid something happened to either one of them, I wanted to be here to do for them anything that needed to be done. She and my Dad were married for 52 years. One Mother's day, my Mom woke up and had lower abdominal pain and needed to go to the hospital. They admitted her, and while she was there, she contracted MRSA. It is a staph infection of the blood. It was resistant to all antibiotics, so she lived the next 6 years with this horrible disease. I was grateful that I was here because she needed so much help when she came home. Eventually, she needed round the clock care and all this was too much for my Dad to do himself. So I stepped in to do everything possible. Showered her every day, helped her to get in/out of bed, fixed her meals, and her legs became so weak, she could not stand. She had many trips in and out of the hospitals. At one point, she was close to death, but no Dr could find where her infection was located until we had a Neurologist come in to see her. He was awesome..he was a Dr of mine and came to see my Mom..after a few questions and a couple of neuro tests, he ordered an MRI of her neck. There, they found an abscess. She was immediately transferred via an ambulance to another hospital directly to surgery. The surgeon was honest and told us he did not know whether or not Mom would make it through the surgery. My Dad and all of us children, could do nothing but cry and pray for the next 3 hours. When we returned to the hospital, the anesthesiologist greeted us with a big smile. Right then and there, we knew God was watching over Mom. She remained in the hospital for another 30 days with a 'halo' on. It is a metal device which was screwed into her forehead and came down either side of her head. It was there to keep her head straight, due to her bones in her neck being fused together once the abscess was removed. The Dr told us he drained a quart of puss out of it. I think that halo weighed more than my sweet Mom. She was so strong through it all. Never complained and never called for a nurse. Thank God all of us kids were around because the care she needed was too much for any nurse to take care of by herself. We were with my Mom around the clock to make sure there was nothing she needed and of course to help her any way we could. I have never seen anyone with this much strength and courage. She was amazing. She had been in a nursing home 2 times for short periods but there she was neglected. Not fed(she was too weak to open a container of milk), not turned or repositioned(so she had bed sores that were so bad, you could see her bones). When I would go visit I would find her with dirty wet sheets and blankets. It was so horrible. One day while I was sitting with her I noticed she was having difficulty breathing. When I asked her if she was having trouble breathing she said yes, but nothing to worry about. I called for a nurse immediately and asked for oxygen for her. After the nurse assesed the situation, they decided she needed to be transferred to the hospital. The nurses in the ER could not believe the condition my Mom was in. They reported the Nursing Home to the State for neglect. My poor Mom...what she endured was so unfair..she for her entire life was always the one to nurture, give, love and so much more. We found out at the hospital that my Mom had pneumonia. After the wound care specialists took care of all her wounds(bed sores-decubitis) the Dr's decided there was nothing more they could do for my Mom...we at that point had to make her a DNR(Do not recussitate). How horrible that was. Just telling me, I am losing my Mom. She was then transferred to Hospice. She was there for 16 days before we lost her. I lived at Hospice to be with my Mom around the clock. In my mind, there was no other place I should have been. I went to work but left every day due to the understanding of a wonderful manager. I will never forget her. She was a God send. Now, the thoughts of my Mom are all good but I can't get over not having her here in my life anymore. It is an indescribable pain that is unknown to all unless you have lost your Mom. She will forever be in my heart, thoughts and prayers every day. Sometimes, when I am by myself, I still talk to her and just the mere thought of how wonderful and beautiful she was, it makes me cry. I know I will be blessed when God calls me...then I can reunite with both of my parents...what a beautiful day that will be!!