I owe much of what I have in my life now to THY, where I met Colleen Houser.  I only knew her for a few short years, but I can’t recall a time when she didn't have me laughing about something.  I think I started at THY right around the same time as Lyssa and Lexi so Colleen was one of the first parents I met and I immediately felt like I could say anything to her. Whenever she was on the pool deck I wanted to stand near her to listen to her share a story or just make a comment about something, which made me laugh.  I remember when Dave asked me if I could share a room with her one year at nationals and I said “of course”. I think if it had been anyone else I would felt a little weird sharing a room with a parent, but not with Colleen.  I do not really remember what we would talk about but I just remember having so much fun at that nationals! She also always managed to get on the pool deck at nationals without the proper “bracelet”. She did not care. She just walked right by the officials like she owned the place. No one questioned her. I think I was more nervous than she was.

Colleen, you will always be special to me, as you were there the day I met my husband on the pool deck and I remember the group of parents laughing at me from up in the stands while taking pictures. I was SO embarrassed. You will be forever missed. Katey (Jann) Paige

Since the day I was able, I have loved to read.  Colleen picked up on this and at any opportunity sent me a box of new books for my birthday and for Christmas every year until I was about 12.  She knew that reading was my refuge, and she nurtured my love of books at every opportunity.  This was long before it was easy to send things to another person, which means that she actually went to a bookstore, selected books, found a box, and went to the post office to mail them to me.  It was by no means a casual or convenient thing to do, but she always made sure to always send me books. I devoured every book she ever sent me, but the ones that really changed my life were the Little House on the Prairie series by Laura Ingalls Wilder.

Never in a million years were these books I would pick up, but I eventually got around to cracking their yellow spines.  As soon as I started reading them, I was instantly drawn in to Wilder’s description of life on the prairie.  I probably read them all at least a half a dozen times, but my favorite was The Long Winter, which was all about how the Wilders survived…wait for it…a long winter on the Minnesota prairie.  It was terrifying and amazing to me that they were happy with so little, that they managed to preserve in horrifying conditions, and that at the end of the winter they seemed to emerge a little stronger despite incredible hardship.  I carried this story in my heart long after that book finally ripped in two from so much reading and rereading.  It seems reductive, but the machinations of my eight year old brain figured if Laura and her family could survive on rotten potatoes, I was also capable of flourishing despite hardship in any form.  

I think that one of Colleen’s greatest gifts was her intuition about the people she loved.  I was an open book to her.  After my parents, Colleen and Steve have known me the longest.  They were my first playmates.  They were my confidants, my conspirators, my angels.  Even after all of our lives changed in wonderful, sad, happy, and challenging ways, I still always knew that my Aunt Colleen knew the core of who I was.  We never needed to have hard conversations because somehow she was able to intuit my feelings and the kind of support and love I needed at the time.  She said difficult things with an extra firm hug.  She soothed me with her laugh.  She had the most bountiful and generous kind of love and she gave it so freely.  Looking back, I think she knew that I would need those books in a way that only has occurred to me twenty seven years later.  They helped me form a solid, invincible core that has protected me all of my life.  I’m so grateful that Colleen was in my life, and she left an indelible mark on me.  I think of her every day, and when I do, I hear her laugh, I hear her calling me a turkey, I feel the warmth of her smile and her arms around my shoulders.  I’ll always miss her and love her with all of my heart.

One of my memories of Colleen was when we lived in a townhouse in Newtown.  This house was ideal for our family since it had a completed basement with a bar, a dance floor, and a lounge.  Our family actually called it our "party house".  After one of our parties our next door neighbor asked if we would adopt he and  his wife since they wanted to be a part of our family and our parties.  He commented that they enjoyed sitting in their family room hearing us laughing and having a good time on our deck where our barbecu was.  He said that one person in particular that they enjoyed was the laughter of one of our girls.  He commented that when she laughed she really laughted.  This of course was Colleen.  We told him that we were sorry but at this point our family was full but we appreciated the thought.

As many of you may know, Steve and Collen had a trio named Colleen & Company. They had a "gig" in Lyonville, PA at a Holiday Inn that was close enough that we could driive there to hear them play.  On a Saturday night we went out to hear them when all of a sudden it was break time and Colleen stepped off the stage and walked across the dance floor and Steve coontinued  to play.  This was unusual which meant that they were not taking a break.  Sjhe had on  a black gown and she looked stunning.  When she got to our table I pulled a chair for her to sit down but she did not sit down instead she took my arm and said "common on, let's dance".  I said you know I don't dance.  She continued to pull my arm and Margaret said go ahead and dance.  I thought there was a coonspiracy here to get Pjil on the dance floor.  I could see I had no choice  and she gently but firmly pulled my aarm and I was on my feet.  She leaned over and whispered in my ear to start moving your feet and I will follow.  I stood there in shock and she whispered in my ear a little louder to move my feet and I will follow.  I started moving my feet and she followed. My only escape was to look at Steve and give him the signal to stop playing but he ignored me and I knew it was planned. I continued to move my feet and she followed and I started to feel comfortable.  Instead of wanting Steve to stop playing I wanted him to keep playing so I could keep dancing.  I guess the best explanation at this point was that I felt like the little kid that had just had his training wheels taken off his bike and was saying look mom I can ride by myself.  I felt like telling everyone in the Holiday Inn that night "look at me I'm dancing".  When I came back to the table Margaret's comment was "I knew you could dance".  So in conclusion I am sure we all know where Colleen is and eventualy we will all be together againl.  I just want to ask you a favor Colleen WOULD YOU SAVE THE LAST DANCE FOR ME!!!!

On December 27th a light in our family went out.  This light can never be replaced but will be remembered forever.  There are so many memories to recall in the time Colleen was in our family .....little things like the time they were at our house for dinner and I burned the biscuits.  She never let me forget that. The time Steve & Kevin picked Phil and me up at the airport after a trip and asked if we wanted to go to the hospital to see our new granddaughter, Christie.  It was such a thrill. One summer we rented a place in Avalon for three weeks and Colleen and the three little girls and I went down. The men and some of the family would come down for the week end but through the week the five girls were alone.  It was a time of real bonding and we loved it.  Another time we went to Myrtle Beach together and Colleen woud take the girls to the beach and Steve and I would shop and cook dinner,  When the girls came from the beach we would eat.  Lots of fun.

Colleen was fun-loving, kind, intelligent and had talents that were hidden most of the time because she usually didn't want the spotlight to be on her except when she was on the stage. When I see a school bus I think of her; when I hear someone laugh I think of her; when I burn the biscuits I will think of her.  The light that went out will burn forever in my heart.  Margaret

While I was not born into the Houser family I feel deep roots with them. After all I’ve known them in one way or another for a little less than half my life. It’s hard not to be consumed by their wit, love and kindness – and Phil’s jokes.  Well we can all hear Colleen’s laughter when we think of Phil’s jokes. 

When we all were working in one capacity or another in Newtown in the old stone house approximately 30 years ago, I remember Phil and Margaret telling wonderful stories about their daughters-in-law.  They loved each of them dearly.  I particularly remember one Christmas Margaret sharing a story about having dinner with Colleen and Steve in their apartment above the garage.  It must have been a small apartment because as I understand it, there was no Christmas tree.   Colleen was so creative and Margaret was in awe that Colleen was able to arrange pine branches in the living room window, put lights on the branches and from the outside it looked like a Christmas tree in the window. That was Colleen -- quietly displaying her creativity and sharing the beauty of life for others’ enjoyment.  Always doing and thinking of others.

I have been an acquaintance of Colleen for approximately 30 years but closer in the last 10 years than when we were working in the old stone house.   I was always amazed at her uncanny ability to respond without saying a word – and knowing what was needed. When my dad passed away 15 years ago, she and Steve sent me flowers. She called to see how I was getting along.  She understood that kind of pain. When my mom died a little over a year ago, even though she was fighting cancer, it was she who cooked meals for Dave and I and Steve drove an hour to put the meals in our refrigerator and set a huge bouquet of flowers in my house so that when we returned from Western PA good food and some comfort would be waiting for us.  When I walked into the house of course I saw the flowers but then I opened the refrigerator and saw the wonderful meals (not meal but meals) and then I knew.  It was my other family taking care of us and sending their love.

Colleen, your presence in this world will be missed. Each day when I sit down at my desk I miss you.  It may be an overused statement but the world really does need more people like you!

"They are not dead who live in lives they leave behind.  In those whom they have blessed, they live a life again."

I've been trying to write this tribute for several days now, searching my mind for THE PERFECT memory of Mrs. Houser. The perfect memory that would be so "Colleen". It would be full of her sass (of course!), her love of her family, her selflessness, her sense of humor… that laugh :)

But after 14 years of memories with Mrs. Houser, my memories are more snapshots of “the everyday” rather than specific instances. She has just always been there. I met the Houser family when I was 7. Lys, Lex, and I all swam for Council Rock Aquatic Club and then continued to swim on the same swim teams until we graduated high school. Somewhere between the swim meet carpools, the post-Saturday practice Dance Dance Revolution marathons, the travel trips, the sleepovers, the shopping trips, the family dinners, and the (thousands of) icecream runs, the Houser family became part of my family too.

Somewhere in those 14 years, it became habit to walk into the Houser’s house (right into the kitchen), get a hug and kiss from Mrs. Houser, and then immediately open the fridge to pick at leftovers… all without even inquiring where Lys and Lex were. Mrs. Houser would ask me how my day was, and then immediately help guide me to the most delicious food in the house. If I was lucky, Mrs. Houser had made turkey meatballs – my favorite. I would eat them cold, and of course double dipping into the container. I remember the first time Mrs. Houser told me I could double dip in the leftovers. It was years ago, but I remember her telling me that if Lys and Lex could double dip, that I could too. Family didn’t care about double dipping.

Most nights, Lys, Lex and I would be up late in their living room, talking and watching movies. Mostly talking. Mrs. Houser would love to just sit in and listen… laugh when we were ridiculous… throw in a sassy comment here and there. We loved her there, too, and she was always a welcome and expected presence. Sometimes she would fall asleep listening to us, which was always adorable. But most times she turned in a little before we did, giving us each a hug and a kiss goodnight, and stately matter-of-factly, “I love you, baby.” But these everyday moments are the ones I cherish most. They are "SO Colleen".

I feel so blessed to have someone in my life like Mrs. Houser. She is like a second mother to me and I could never thank her enough for treating me like one of her own for so many years. I miss her everyday. And I know Lys and Lex and I will spend forever trying to master her perfect muffin making techniques. Which I know Mrs. Houser will love. 

Our entire life was a blessing until it was time for Colleen to give us one last performance. The performance of her life was her death. The epilogue will be written by my self and more tellingly Christie, Alexis and Alyssa.

True to form she did not want anyone to know of her sickness. I think she would have kept it from me if she could have. Why? Because Colleen knew that she would then become the sick person, the person with Stage Four cancer and she hated that more than anything. She did not want to be treated any differently because she was sick.

Colleen said to me after the bad news that she was not afraid of dying. She was afraid of not living. Not living was being treated as a person who was ill. In Colleen’s mind she was never sick or ill. It was part of God’s great plan.

Throughout our forty year history one of many things I was deficient with was back rubs. Colleen loved back rubs and I hated giving them I regret to say. During the last thirty days before Colleen died she was in almost constant pain. It never stopped. The one thing that seemed to give her some relief was of course a back rub. One night I promised that I would change my ways and give her a back rub anytime and anyplace she wanted. I gave more back rubs over the next thirty days then I had our entire forty years together.

Colleen never complained to me once about her diagnosis. Not once! Her entire focus was on staying positive. Anything or anyone who came into her life with negativity she avoided. One night while I was giving her the fifteenth or sixteenth back rub she started crying and through the tears she told me how sorry she was for putting me through all of this. I started crying too and I drew her close to me and held her tight and through my tears I was able to respond.

I said, “Colleen this is the greatest gift you could give me. I have you all to myself. There are no kids, no phones, no people and only us. There is no other place I would rather be then here with you. I can finally express my deepest love for you in your greatest time of need and I consider that a blessing from God not a burden.”

All Colleen wanted was to live the life that she had to the fullest and without any recognition of the burdens she had to bear and she had many more than most of you will ever know. Colleen was an inspiration because of who she was not what happened to her. Colleen was real, present, focused and fully accountable. It was one of many attributes that made all of us love her and because of that greatness now we all miss her.

I consider it a supreme blessing to have met the greatest person I have ever had the honor of loving. I miss her madly but I would not have it any other way because life is not a fairytale it is a blessing and blessings do not always come in predictable packages. Let us all keep her in our hearts. Thank you God for the beautiful soul of an angel on earth.  Colleen, my love.

Colleen died two days after Christmas at 5am on the 27th. It was the best Christmas I ever had in my life in spite of the tragic end. It was slower, more intense, and heartfelt.

 Throughout our three daughters lives we had a family tradition like many families. I am not sure how it started but whenever the girls went to bed at night or any of us were backing out of the driveway or leaving on a trip or attending an event we had a sign we would always give. It was the hand-sign for love the hearing impaired give and when you moved the pointer finger in a circle it meant “I Love You Forever.”

 Another part of our family experience was that whenever our girls needed something it always seemed to appear magically. It wasn’t really magic though. It was there mom listening to what they really needed and then she would send it to them. The warm socks, their favorite muffins, etc. Colleen’s “handle” so to speak became Mommy Da Wonderful.

 Two weeks before Colleen died she said she had to tell me something. When she was first diagnosed she started saving her bus driver money to have a special piece of jewelry designed and made for the three girls. She found a local jeweler who crafted her design out of silver.

 It was a necklace with a circle of sliver about one inch across and floating in the center was the hand sign for I love you. At the bottom of the circle the word forever was written. Colleen said that in case she did not make it she had hidden the three necklaces in her drawer. I found them and opened them and they were beautiful. Of course I started crying and when I turned them over on the back the letters MDW were written. I immediately went to Colleen and asked her what they meant. She replied,” Mommy Da Wonderful.”

On Christmas morning the last gifts to be opened were the silver necklaces and needless to say we all cried and hugged and it was truly a God-given moment of incredible love and sadness. It was the best Christmas we ever had.

RALPH and I are the neighbors living at NEVER-NEVER LAND next to these two talented gems in transition from the "music business" -- who STEVE alludes to in his "story" above in the early 1980's. part of their love story (and ours) !! 
COLLEEN  drove  our son RALFIE JR, 14 back & forth to The Hun School of  Princeton twice a day (32 miles ea way-while RALPH  and I travelled to Allentown for business every day.. I was only a little green-eyed when COL said "you know I'm the MOM he sees first at the end of the day so he shares confidences you are probably missing."
To be truthful, I was grateful that sensible,caring COLLEEN was Rjr's sounding
board through those tenuous teen yeas.until he got his license.

Then there were the backyard  parties where STEVE played keyboard and COL and STEVE sang.  The Pisani Family and friends were always
in awe !!

Who could forget our 20th Anniversary Wedding at Thompson Memorial Presbyterian Church June 6, 1987 when COL and STEVE  challenged us  by  singing  "How Do You Keep The Music Playing?"  Now COLLEEN sings with
the angels and we celebrate all that she means to us.  We will carry
her laugh ...that started in her toes and rose to the heavens ... and her love
which was endless ...in our hearts.  and pray that Steve and those
lucky girls will live fully as she would selflessly want you to.  wE We will
be with you in spirit as you celebrate COLLEEN's life this Sunday, June 9th,
2013..

              GOD keep you all in the palm of his hand.
                       With love always,
                                Ralph and Barb Pisani  & family   
                                 Palm Beach Gardens, Florida


"

Lyssa was my best friend in my first year at Oberlin College (I later transferred to the University of Virginia.) I didn't love it much there in Ohio, but I sure loved her and would never have been able to get through such a tough year without my near-constant companion. You might say Lyssa's personality is sweet tinged with sassy (a word she's indoctrinated into the Oberlin College Swim and Dive team for, well, probably forever) so when I was preparing to meet her family, I assumed they'd be much of the same. Yeah, right. Mrs. Houser was a straight up sass-pot and I loved her for it immediately. Forget the extra-sweet swim moms who bake you cookies and coo over your latest accomplishment. I'm pretty sure that within the first 10 minutes of meeting her, Mrs. Houser had already laughed not only with me, but at me and some ridiculous thing I'd said. Cusping on the ages between teenage years and adulthood, I appreciated a mom-figure with whom I immediately felt I could be myself-- no hiding anything, no filtering my language, no toning down the decibels of my famously loud voice and laugh. She was real and I felt I could be real with her. Both Mr. and Mrs. Houser have always exuded that sort of welcome to me-- not a sickly sweet, "Can I get you anything else, dear?" kind of welcome, but the sort of welcome where I'd walk into their house without knocking and get my own glass of water without feeling like an intrusion. I'm from the South, so this sort of attitude was new to me-- it's a clearness and a freshness of kindness that, for all my social charms, I can't quite master.

There's so much else I could say-- detailing my abiding love for Lyssa, the closeness and devotion of the Houser family, Colleen's witheringly beautiful smile-- but I hold those memories in my heart and offer them up as prayers to her ever-present spirit. She knows what I have to say and if anyone else is wondering, just ask me. 

But I would like to share a poem I wrote in her honor. I heard about Mrs. Houser's passing while I was in Kenya with my family on a sort of pilgrimage trip. I had about 10 minutes of internet access a day and late one night, I read an email from my mom about Mrs. Houser. I stay up for hours that night. I just re-read my journal entry from that day-- "I haven't felt this alone in a long time"-- it said. Knowing that people I loved so much were very far away and very out of reach and very much in pain-- the pain of losing a parent which I knew all too well-- nearly broke my spirit.

But then somehow-- and I like to think it was the sweet soul of Colleen herself that inspired me-- I channeled my anger and sorrow into a poem. Earlier that day we had been visiting one of the community gardens in the town we were staying in and we had the pleasure of witnessing the escape of a baby goat through the fence. I'm not sure why that moment spoke to me-- but in it, I saw her. 

To a free woman:

One small goat
born just yesterday
slipped beneath the fence
to feast
on cabbage
and shrubs--
the forbidden garden
on the other side.
His wet eyes
sought the bounty
beyond the fence
and we swore 
to mend it, before
he crested the hillside. 

One small soul
slipped through 
our mortal, clutching fingers--
white-knuckled 
and bone-dry,
clawing and sightless.  

There are not tools--
no wire,
no nails--
enough for the mending.  

But I wonder
what her eyes--
wide and wondering--
face pressed to the earth--
saw between the slats of fence? 

Soft and downy,
the calf
tested her fresh legs
on new ground
and began to run.

As a middle school teacher at New Hope-Solebury Middle School, I have always enjoyed walking up the bus ramp and saying hello to former students and the bus drivers that I have gotten to know over the years.  I can't say how awesome and exciting it was to see Colleen behind the wheel of one of the buses a few years back.  

I used to hop into the front seat of her mini-van after school to give Christie a hard time and to get to know Colleen.  Colleen always got a kick out of Christie and I bickering about the day's events.  So when she had a bus, I was able to jump on, get in the way of her passengers, and keep up with the family.

So my tradition of visiting with Colleen lived on until the time I guess she needed her treatments and energy to spend time with Steve and girls.  She had the biggest smile and we would talk about the days' events.  I was sad when she stopped driving.  I miss our talks.

I am eternally grateful for her example of love and energy for family.  I sat with Colleen while watching Christie at hockey practice one morning at 5:30 am.  She was sleepy, but there and watching her goalie.  She would do anything for her girls, and yet, with Steve, she raised them to be such unassuming people.  She never seemed to miss a swim meet or hockey expo or game or whatever.  Colleen was 100% committed to her family.  The girls are wonderful products of wonderful parents.

I really miss Colleen's insights on the people she watched and saw around the community.  We would discuss how people were raising their kids and behaving and I had the chance to learn about raising a family.  I'm so proud and happy to be part of the Houser's world.

Thank goodness for Colleen and her presence in our world. I will always think of her as I walk up the bus platform and around the pick-up cirlce after school.  She always has a place in both lines.  She is a warm thought, always.

This was at my college graduation...it meant everything to have her there!  

When we first moved to Pennsylvania from rural Illinois, I was in 8th grade.  I was told that I had no chance of playing basketball, they didn’t need hicks.  So naturally I worked hard at it, dad put up a hoop, and I grew.  During my first year of high school, we had one on one competition to make the team.  I beat everybody. I made the team.  I bragged a lot.

I bragged to Colleen, and she laughed at me and said, “So what, you’re feeling a little big for your britches?”  Colleen never played any organized basketball, she was shorter, and she was a girl.  She challenged me to one on one, looser had to take over turns at the dishes for a week.   I was embarrassed by the score and did a lot of dishes.   The best part was no one never found out why I took Colleen’s turns. 
 
Thanks Col. 

I try hard not to brag much anymore.

It was the early fall of 1982. Colleen and I were living in an apartment in a home and I had just started in the securities business with Lincoln Investment Planning, Inc. We had dissolved the trio Colleen & Company April 1st and we were broke and not earning much. Colleen was working part time jobs waitressing, mucking stalls and driving the neighbors kid to the Hun school and back every day. It was a Saturday morning, about 7am and Colleen was showering and getting dressed in leotards. I asked her where she was going and she said," I will tell you when I get back." I fell back to sleep thinking that's no answer.

I woke up at noon and no Colleen. No Colleen at 5pm and then she comes in around 8pm. I asked her where she had been and she proceeds to say," The Bucks County Playhouse had four openings for beginning actors. If you made the cut and took the jobs you would get in the union and have so many months of work between three theatres. Two in New England and of course the one in New Hope."

I said what happened and she said,"That is why I am so late. I got one of the jobs," I laughed and yelled, "Congrats when do you start?

She looked at me and said, "I did not take the job. I just wanted to see if I still had it."

Colleen and I were invited to an informal dinner party with friends. We had finished dinner and had retreated to the comfort of the living room. We were all seated as couples in sort of a semi-circle when a question was posed.

How was your first year of marriage?

As you can imagine various answers, not out of the ordinary like it was great, loved it, took some adjusting, his parents didn't like me at first, you know the normal stuff.

Then it comes to Colleen and I am last. Colleen answers," I almost left Steve our first year of marriage." The air was sucked out of the room for a second until laughter started. I was shocked, bewildered, angry, you name it I was feeling it. Everyone else thought it was hilarious.

Then Colleen said, "It got a lot better after that so I stayed."

I could not do anything after that since I was a bodiless emotional heap of a man except, murmuring over and over. "I liked it. I liked it. I liked it." 

Once in the car I exploded and started yelling and I think at one point i was frothing like the mad dog I had become when Colleen said, "When you calm down I will tell you what you did."

Aha! I thought to myself. Now I 've got her because I never raised a finger to her and I could not think of anything "bad" that I had done.

So I calmed down and she proceeded to name each event in chronological order the first year of our marriage and I asked her to stop at three and it wasn't Christmas yet and we were married in August.

My sarcasm and quick wit can cut faster and deeper than a Cutco knife in butter. When I actually heard what I said because Colleen remembered I also wondered why she did not leave me. I thnk I would characterize it as cruel and unwarranted verbal abuse. I was ahamed and humiliated once again and this time it was cathartic. This woman really did love me deeply!

I did get better as time went on and long before the seven year itch party as I recall the event. I am the oldest of four boys and sarcastic, ascerbic wit was in regular abuse around the home. It was normal in that environment but not in a marriage.

I really credit my mom, Margaret Houser, for starting my long journey to better myself in the ways of women. One day, early in the afternoon on a Saturday, Colleen and I had an argument over something driving to my mom and dads place and I made her cry. When Colleen walked in the house she went right to the bathroom and my mother went right to me with fury in her eyes.

"What happened? Why is Colleen crying?' my mother asked. This was way before we were married. Maybe a year into the relationship. I told my mom what happened and she said the following," Stephen, you have grown up in a household dominated by men and men with strong personalities. Women are different and you need to treat them differently. Now go in and get Colleen and apologize to her and tell her it will not happen again."

It was the best advice my mom could have given me and it started my recovery as an understanding and caring man. Thanks Mom!!! Thanks Colleen!!

Oh I watched it all fall down
I saw your face in the crowd

Most people don't know that Colleen was an actress. In 1972 Colleen and I went to New York City where she was going to an open audition for ten jobs at the Surflight Theater in Beach Haven, Long Beach Island, New Jersey. She made it through all the cuts and was offered a job and she took it.

The Surflight Theater ran ten weeks of different shows every week. While they were performing one show at night and matinees, they were rehearsing a new show during the day for the following week. Everyone was talented. Colleen never had a big part until a new director took reponsibility for Stephen Sondheim's Company. The director held auditions with the cast at Surflight and chose Colleen to play the character of April. Her big scene and song was "Barcelona" and she received rave reviews.

Here is a link of Colleen's scene in which Christina Hendricks from "Madmen" plays the part of April with Neil Patrick Harris.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOGYtCRMpek

It was early on a Friday, late morning, February 1972, windy and cold in the twenties, outside some clouds and sun. Colleen and a friend were sitting in one of the lunch rooms making plans for a James Bond drive-in movie night. My buddy Steve Hottinger, was trying to convince them that he should go too. He was interested in Colleen's friend Dara. Colleen said no way was she going to be a third wheel. That's when Hottinger said." I dare you to ask the next guy out that walks into this lunch room." Guess who came walking through? The rest is a forty plus year history of love and commitment.

I feel somewhat unworthy speaking about my friendship with Colleen, as we had drifted the last couple of years.  But we would reach out on important events; around the holidays, and when she heard that my brother had passed she reached out to me.  The remarkable thing about our friendship was its unremarkableness.  It was just there in the background but comforting.  Like when you know there are a small handful of people that in a heartbeat would do anything for you.  Despite months of not being in touch, it was Colleen who comforted me the last month of her life when I was regretful about not being around more.  In typical Colleen fashion, straight to the point, she assured me that we are both about putting our kids first and that neither one of us would have had it any other way.  Of course, I didn’t know there was so little time left, as she made it seem she was OK, that we would have coffee soon.  There are very few people I can think of that were as selfless as Colleen.  To visit with her kids and Steve a few days after she passed, and see the Christmas tree, and hear the girls laugh over the Christmas they shared and the beautiful necklaces there mom had personally had made for them, and the featie PJ’s they talked about, I was actually joyful when I left.  She was a fierce mother.  Protective, and putting her babies first, not right up to the end, but beyond the end or her life.  She didn’t want her passing to interrupt what they needed to accomplish, thus having her memorial service after they finished this semester in school.  She had things her way, for her kids.  Each and every time we spoke about our kids, she always focused on the positive on what was going on in their lives.  And her laid back, no panic approach to obstacles was inspiring.  In the THY swim days, when were we heavily involved in volunteering, she would be the calm one and I would be the frantic lets get this done yesterday person.  Colleen was very…leveling.  And though she saw me as the outspoken one who would speak up on anything, I saw her as the brave one. 

We can’t talk about Colleen without addressing one critical aspect of her nature.  Her laugh.  I would guess each one of us can pull it up in our heads right now.  I think we laughed more than anything we did.  And get a few coronas or pinot’s into us and that would be it.  I can actually visualize laughing and seeing tears coming out of her eyes we would laugh so hard.  In the best days or our friendship, we could sit up in the bleachers, she would listen to me swear like a sailor, and we could discuss the pros and cons of men wearing speedos.  Sometimes we could look at a swimmer at one of the Grand Prix meets and just turn and look at each other and raise our eyebrows.  (Sorry Steve!)  And how many of us moms didn’t feel the pressure to step up our game when it came to feeding our kids.  She packed them the best food.  I felt the desire to cook food for Mel to bring to meets, but peanut butter and jelly doesn’t do well in the microwave.  And when we had to schedule timers.  We know how fun that is.  Half of the time rather than ask someone to cover a shift, she would just do it.  But she did like a front row seat to see her girls swim.  We shared the swimming experience with Lyssa, Lex and Mel, but she was an equal opportunity mom. She talked often about Christie and college and hockey.  Christie, we talked of your decisions with schools, your injuries, your joys and frustrations with your teams.  Her trips up to see you.  She was very, very,  proud and supportive of all of her girls, and of Steve.

Steve, thank you for the opportunity to write about Colleen. Writing this has made me remember the value in our friendship and the fun, loyal, unselfish and supremely positive person that Colleen was. Colleen would want you to keep laughing and to live your life to the fullest that you can.  To Lys, Lex and Christie,  I know, for certain, that the one thing that would give your mom peace would be knowing that you each tried every day, to seek health, wellness, safety and joy.  In every decision you make, in each crossroad you approach, choose the path that gives you the best chance for a good outcome.  Do it bravely and with confidence, and with thoughtfulness and care for your well being.  This is something you can do for your mom.

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Ever since my kids were born whenever they asked what we were having for dinner, or what were they getting for their birthday or Christmas or what can we have for a snack Colleen always gave the same answer. DIRT! It became so overused that the kids would ask the questions just to hear their mom say DIRT!. One time, when we were traveling to Minnesota for the wedding of Colleen's brother Chris and his wife Angie we drive by this factory and as soon as I saw it I slammed on the brakes. All of us were laughing as we pulled into...you guessed it, a DIRT factory. (Photo Attached)

Colleen and I formed a trio in 1975 and played together for seven years in various hotels and lounges. We struggled for work and finally got a break when a new hotel management company took over and rehabilitated the Holiday Inn on City Line Ave. in Philadelphia. The restaurant was on the twenty-first floor and the middle part of the restaurant rotated 360 degrees once an hour to provide a dining experience like no other in Philadelphia. The restaurant was The Top of the Line which provided white glove service and table side cooking. It was a dream come true for us as it provided six weeks of continuous work. We had won an audition to get this job over a number of very good bands.

The main reason we got the job was our version of Send in The Clowns which Colleen sang out front. Our drummer Rich played a flute introduction, I played the piano and Colleen sang. Three days before the press night opening our drummer quit to join another band. Rich did get us another good drummer who sang but he did not play the flute. When we informed the owners we were told no flute then no work. We were stunned. Colleen said she thought she could learn the flute part even though she had never played the flute. She did play trumpet growing up but that is a lot different than a flute.

In three days Colleen learned the flute part and played it flawlessly opening night in front of the press and a who's who of Philadelphia and every night thereafter for six nights a week and six weeks. She was amazing on stage!

One day Colleen, Steve, her husband and Phil and Margaret, Steve'smom and Dad were riding in the car making smal talk when out of the blue Margaret asked Colleen,'Have you heard from your father latelty? "Colleen giggled and said, "Not where he is now." It was then the rest of us starting laughing since Colleen's Dad had been dead for ten years or so.

Colleen, Dirk, Lisa, Rory and Chris in some of my favorite photos. What do you think?