I am typing one of the hardest things that I have ever felt on my heart. It is odd at the depths you never realize you have, you reach during the most stinging times of hurt. I am nearly 36 and I feel the last and best part of me is three doors down passing into eternity. All my love, knowledge, hope, and strength can not save and keep the person I love and hold most in this world. My MAMA CYNTHIA KING is probably the strongest, loving, nonjudging Christian I have or will ever know. My heart breaks just the thought of never holding her, talking to her, never watching Family Feud or Big Bang Theory. It burns my ever being just to know, that there will no more beach trips and dinners watching the ocean, no more laughter and joy in Sunday School, AM Service or Wed Nights at LABC.I just can't believe it is now gone and forever a memory.I would give anything for just one more time to pull in the drive way and see her sitting there watching tv and turning her head towards me with the most loving, beautiful smile I have ever known.It is sad but it is the memory that makes you realize nothing was ever trivial. I know soon she'll be there walking streets of gold with JESUS and Daddy, MomDean, Papa and Bobo but there will never be a day or moment that her absents will not be felt in the very foundations of my being. I feel abit childish when saying this but I am now a 35 year old orphan and for once in mylife I have no Idea or Care about what I am.I do not believe my MAMA has had any enemies and it seems anyone who knew her loved her. If people had I an ounce of the love and devotion she was blessed with, than I do honestly believe this world, especially Christians in this world would be so much kinder and understanding.I find irony on how much she loved snow and as far as my eyes can see, nothing but beautiful white blankets and angelic still. I wish she could see it. Everyone who has known her tells me how wonderful she is and how she touched their lives. I guess to look at things in perspective, if the measurement of a persons life is by who they touched then Mama is well beyond measurement and is truly the wonderful, beautiful, loving LADY who raised me and loved me more than anyone can. Know this I never gave up on you, MAMA, I just let you choose where you wanted to be and I will forever love you more than anything else forever! My LIL NANU!