My brother Danny was born on March 9, 1959 .... what a welcome he must have received when my Mom and Dad first laid eyes on their beautiful baby boy. They had lost their first child, Catherine, just 36 hours after she was born, so when their 2nd born arrived just 10 months later, he quickly became their pride and joy.
As I reflect upon Dan's life and on the shock of him dying so suddenly and so unexpectantly, I can't help but wonder what he may have said to us and what we would have said to him if we knew this was coming. I can imagine that he would reminisce just a little and recall some of our favourite memories and maybe he would have some words of advice and encouragement for those of us left to carry on with life in his absence.
I'm sure that he would tell Paddy just one more time how much he loved and appreciated her over the past 20+ years. Paddy meant everything to Dan and together they have done a stellar job in raising Crystal. My guess is that he would want her to treasure all the special memories that the two of them have shared as a couple over the years, while at the same time, find the strength to carry on with her life despite this great loss.
Perhaps it's the most painful for me to think about what Dan would have said to his beautiful daughter, Crystal. I remember really well the day that she was born and he was the proudest Dad you could ever imagine. Although he had lots of support from family, he was prepared to put his own life and his occupation on hold so that he could devote himself to doing the best job he possibly could at raising his baby girl. She was his #1 priority in life and even if it meant going on Father's Allowance for a brief period so that he could stay home and take care of her, he was willing to swallow his pride and do that. So, what would he say to her now? I wonder if he would tell her that he is every bit as proud of her as he was on that day that she was born. I think he would tell her that she has grown into a beautiful young woman overflowing with potential and a bright future. He would remind her of how proud he was when she graduated from high school, then went on to get her ECE Diploma. He would tell her what a fine job she did in choosing her husband Brian and I know he would want them to work hard at developing a strong, solid marriage that will stand firm through difficult time like this. Lastly, I think he would thank Crystal and Brian for their heroic efforts in administering CPR to his lifeless body. He would desperatley want them to know that they did all they could possibly do to try to save him, but even with all the medical technology in the world, there was nothing more they could have done. He would thank them for loving him so much.
As I think about my parents, I wonder what he would say to them. Would he tell them that sometimes life can feel so unfair and that no parent should have to bury their child. Would he suggest that they take the advice that he was taught as a little boy and teenager, that they need to trust God to give them the strength they need to get through this very painful time.
As Dan spent the last 2 hours of his life sitting in my Dad's yard in Bracebridge, I wonder if Danny would have told Dad how much he loved him. Perhaps he would have told him that he was not only his Dad, but also his best friend. And my Mom ... I think he would have thanked her for working so hard to raise us kids and for all the loving care she has poured out on us over the years. I wonder if he would have reminded my Mom and Dad how thankful he is that Dad has Chris and Mom has Ken, to support them through this great loss in their lives.
Dan was the proud Grandpa of Alana and Destiny and Mike's daughter, Stella. Alana refers to him as "Special Grandpa" and she thought the world of him. In fact, she was insistent that she was NOT going to bed on the night of his death until she got to see her "Special Grandpa". I think that Dan would give a hearty "thank-you" to Crystal and Brian for making him a Grandpa and he would give his blessing to those beautiful baby girls. He loved them both so much and he did his fair share of bragging, just like any Grandpa would.
I wonder what Danny would say to my sister, Kolleen. She is 8 years younger, so as a child she was known as "Baby Kolleen" in our family, not to mistaken with our Aunt Kolleen, my Mom's sister. So, in Dan's eyes that's who Kolleen was, his baby sister and through thick and thin, he supported her, through good times and especially during her recent difficult times with her health. He wasn't only a brother, but a good friend to Kolleen. Kolleen moved a lot over the years for some reason and Dan would complain a little about her "moving again", but guess who was the first one at her doorstep to help her ... her big brother, Dan!
What would Dan and I say to each other if we could have a chat right now? Well, first of all, I think we would laugh as we would reminisce about our childhood and how we fought like cats and dogs. Unlike Dan and Kolleen, the two of us couldn't get along as kids if our lives depended on it and it was always over the silliest things. For instance, I remember vividly how mad it made him that I did not like pickles, meanwhile, that was the nickname that the neighbourhood kids gave me - "Pickles". I guess somehow they got "pickles" out of "Pocknell". Anyways, there is lots from my childhood that I don't remember, but I do remember that day when Dan pinned me to the floor and forced me to eat a pickle, shoving the pickle through the space in my two front teeth! My own children love hearing that story and to this day, they try to get me to like pickles, too. Even though we had countless squabbles as kids, like siblings often do, I don't think we ever exchanged an unkind word to each other as adults. He always made me feel like he was proud of me and the direction that my life has taken. Terry and I have each lost a brother this past year and there is an empty spot in our hearts that can only be filled by the peace that comes from God.
If our kids, Jonathan and Sarah, could tell their Uncle Dan something, I think they might thank him for the many reminders of him that he has left behind for them. He was a creative craftsman and he lovingly made some very special things for them. When Jonathan was a baby, he made him a Santa Sleigh and we used to put a harness on our dog to pull the sleigh. I have a feeling that Jonathan will always keep that sleigh and maybe he'll use it for his kids someday. For Sarah, he made a toy fridge and stove just like my Dad made for me when I was a little girl. He also made her a teddy bear hall tree and he made them both shelves with hooks, for their bedrooms. All these things will help remind our kids of their Uncle Dan and his love for them.
So ... to a faithful husband, a loving son, a wonderful dad, a special grandpa, and a caring brother, nephew, uncle, cousin and friend, as a family, we collectively say "thank-you" Danny, for the 51 years that you shared your life with us.
Submitted by Dan's sister, Cindy
