KAREN
As his younger sister:
He tormented you.
He was always up for a good pillow fight and you became his primary target. You’d hold your own; until Danny would land a blow directly to your nose and it would bleed all over mom’s pillowcase and the carpet in your room. He’d run outside before mom arrived on the scene; while you went crying for her help to stop the bleeding.
He irked you.
As you got older, he would walk pass the kitchen table where you had sat down to eat. He’d take the sandwich you had just made off your plate/ stop/ lick the bread and say “you sure you want this back; I didn’t think so”, and walk away eating your sandwich!
Or you would ask him for a can of Coke which he would shake vigorously out of your line of sight and say here you go. You’d thank him, because mom taught you manners, and he’d say, “Aw it’s nothing” and then run as you pulled the tab to the liquid grenade he had just handed to you! DANNY!!!!
He loved you.
After some jerk broke your heart; it was Danny who went and got you flowers and reassured you the twit wasn’t worthy of you anyway.
Finally, he depended on and trusted you.
Once mom died, he appreciated you so much more than before. You cooked like her and had the same love for her that he did.
With her passing, you were the only woman he knew he could trust. Other than you and mom; all other females had failed him. So in the end, Karen, it was you he asked to be the one to navigate his journey and make decisions for him when he no longer could.
You did an amazing job of that for him.
On the Friday before he died, you knew his condition was declining; but he insisted you leave. You stayed awake all night worrying about him.
When you went back early Sunday morning; you knew you needed to act even though he was saying he was fine; go away.
At that point you began to “channel JW”, and said, “Listen up big brother! All through this journey; since February, you’ve said, “I don’t want to be a burden so don’t ask me go to anybodies house/ I don’t want to be a burden to anyone so don’t visit me so often/well buddy boy (I had to clean up the language for the children) all this running back and forth from Lebanon, Ohio to the Indiana state line is a burden.
You can’t take care of yourself and that’s a burden.
I know and see you are suffering and that’s a burden.
So here’s how this going to go down today: I’m calling hospice to get a nurse over here RIGHT NOW to give you your meds. I am also calling hospice to transport you to one of their facilities RIGHT NOW/ you ok with that/ I’ll take that as a yes/ I’m in charge now! So stay in your chair, calm down, and shut the *@#% up”!!
You made sure they got his anxiety down/ that he was resting comfortably, in a clean bed, quiet room and stayed sedated until the next morning when he died. He knew you would take care and take charge. So no regret!
CHRISTOPHER
Until Danny had children of his own; you were his greatest joy.
He took you on hikes in the portion of Sharon Woods directly behind our house.
He taught you how to drive a riding lawn mower.
Bought you a “mini-bike” with a gasoline engine and no brakes to ride down in the field behind our house.
He shared his love of motorcycles with you; seating you in front of him when you were small and behind him when you were old enough to hold on.
Once he was able to get his drivers license; he’d drive you to the movies. Not always good ones. When you were 12 he took you to see “Werewolves in London”.
When I asked you what you guys had seen, you told me; adding, “it really was wonderfully made”. In spite of your “two thumbs up review” you also had nightmares for a couple of weeks after seeing it.
He took you fishing and was the one who made sure you learned how to swim. He introduced you to shot guns and taught you how to toss and shoot clay pigeons down in the field.
He gave you your knick name of “Hook Eye” after you successfully got a fish hook embedded just below you right eye while fishing with him.
As adults, whenever he needed your help you gave it to him.
-Building a barn with him out on his property,
-Continuing his grass cutting business for him twice: first for 3months when he had half his right foot amputated due to complications from diabetes and then for six weeks after his motorcycle accident a few years ago.
When Danny could no longer take care of his apartment as his health grew worst this spring and summer; you graciously took your Monday’s to go over to clean his apartment, wash his bedding and clothes and shop for groceries; trying to find something he would be able to keep down. Enjoy your memories Chris; there are so many great ones to choose from.
JOHN (ME)
Growing up, only two years apart, nearly all my childhood memories include Danny.
So let me share just a few.
We lived our life out doors. It didn’t matter what season of the year.
The broad creek that flowed behind our property; which was the fountainhead of Sharon Woods Lake became our private Mississippi to navigate. The woods, which surround it; a protective canopy under which we escaped, explored and enjoyed our childhood.
It provided:
-Grapevines upon which to swing out over the deep parts of the creek
-Catching “Suckers” (a bottom feeding fish like carp) by hand as they struggled against time and current, like salmon, to lay their eggs in their ancestral shoals and die.
-Fishing blue Gill and Crappies with a line of fishing string and hook dad tied to the end of a long stick for us; bait in an empty Folgers coffee can full of dirt and worms
Our father always grew a vegetable garden that as kids; Danny and I believed had to be the size of a football field. (Really only 50 ft x 50 ft)
Before Danny or I could do anything else on Saturdays in the summer we each owed dad four rows of weeded beans or corn. Our work ethic was established.
Well almost.
When Danny and I were about 6 and 8; Dad made us responsible for getting the two aluminum garbage cans on the side of the house, out to the street on the night before garbage day since the truck came down our road very early in the morning.
We forgot once and when dad came home and saw the overflowing cans; he threatened to whip us good if it ever happened again.
More than once we were awaked by the sound of the garbage truck only two houses away. Danny and I would jump out of bed; run out the back door and facing each other; grab the handles of the two cans and sprint side ways with them to the street.
Better the garbage men see us in our “tightie whities” and laugh than a whipping from dad!
We burned much of our trash in the early 1960’s and Danny became the keeper of the flame at the age of eight. He loved it!
On one occasion he was playing around and started a grass fire that burned up a sizable portion of our field and our neighbor’s field as well. Scared him.
Dad whipped him but the hardest part of the punishment was Dad making Danny go next door to tell Mr. Horesak what he had done to his field.
He begged me to go with him so I did. Mr. Horesak took the apology I offer on Danny’s behalf because “the little fella” was so sorry it had happened; he was crying to hard to talk.
A few years later around the age of 11 he didn’t think the fire was burning high enough so he went and got a can of gasoline out of the shed. Once the gas hit the fire the flame followed the stream of gas to the can and it exploded. Thank God he only experienced 1st degree burns on his hand and a pair of singed off eyebrows. Completely out of character; JW didn’t whip him but hugged him and said: “bet you’ll remember not to do that again”.
