I am grateful to have had you as my father. I am thankful for the wonderful life you gave me and our family, but sad you are no longer with us. I will miss your generosity, love of family and kindness.
My father was an old teacher who believed every child should have access to education and no child was too stupid to learn. Whenever he went to Bole and saw children walking around because their parents could not afford to buy school uniforms to send them to school, he would buy the uniforms and send them off to school and continue with the uniform supply until they finished school. When I completed my secondary education and expressed interest in studying in America, he willingly paid my tuition and arranged for me to live with a family in San Francisco, California through his Valco contacts. He ignored the naysayers who said he was wasting his money sending a girl to study abroad. He used to tell me there was no end to education. You can become whoever you want regardless of how you started.
My father became a serial entrepreneur after retiring from Valco. He founded Bolex Ltd. and became a manufacturers’ representative in Ghana for companies in the US, UK and Japan. He won the hearts of his business partners with his work ethic and honesty to the point that his region was expanded to include all of West Africa. Due to his hard work and success with the UK company, the company wanted to give back by sponsoring a child in Ghana. My father referred them to Afisah Talon and her grandmother. When Talon’s grandmother heard about my father’s passing, she said in Ga, “Naka nuele, nygbon a tro le” – as for that man, God bless him.
My father made sure we knew where we came from by making sure we spoke Gonja at home and we fondly called him “ntoh”. Four of his five children were born in Bole and he made sure we spent our holidays visiting with family in Bole. It was his love of family and sense of duty that led him to become a chief. As the elder of the Jaga Gate, he settled a Chieftaincy dispute by becoming the chief of Kiape to avoid conflict within the Gate.
When my father had money we all knew it, he would jokingly say “he is financial”. And that was the time he was most generous and likely to start one of his endless renovations. He did not only provide for his wife and children, he took care of the extended family and anyone who told a sad story. When we asked him to be frugal with his limited funds in his retirement, he reminded us that his middle name “Walle” in Gonja appellation means “wuru alele nie baasa ebaa saa foo” (do good and people will like you) and as such, he cannot stop helping.
My father was as fair as he was generous. When we were growing up my mother would sometimes reserve our punishment until my father came home from work when she was busy to do it herself. When she asked my father to punish us, My father would calmly ask the culprit their side of the story which of course always annoyed my mother.
In early September this year, I was visiting my daughter in New York when I received a call from my father that he would like to come to America for medical treatment and I should hurry up with the ticket. I knew he was not well but nothing prepared me for his skeletal frame that I met at the airport and still marvel at how he made the trip.
His condition was too far gone for any medical help and he was given up to 6 months to live and I chose in-home Hospice for him in our home with attending medical help with emphasis on his comfort. With him being an eternal optimist, he somehow believed something could be done. Unfortunately, his time was up this time. During the last few weeks, I sadly watched his fast detoriation and felt helpless. I thank God that he was not in pain and passed peacefully with his children and grandson around him. He even raised his hand to wave us good-bye before his last breadth. I have lost my best friend. I will no longer be able to call him and stay on the phone for hours chatting and listening to his stories and jokes.
I learned how to be a parent from my parents. My husband tells me that I inherited my father’s work ethic, optimism and fairness. Both my parents passed away the same day, January 2, fifteen years apart. May God keep them together and give them eternal peace
