Please overlook all the mispellings I made. I'm honestly not that bad of a speller, I just had a bad computer! Sometimes my nails get in the way now but I do have a new computer. Even though my daddy has been gone for four years, I feel his presence on most days. I know he is with us a lot. He kept telling my sister and myself he needed to talk to us heart to heart because he felt like he wasn't gonna be around long. I blew it off. Not my daddy, I thought. He's just having anxiety, I told myself. Oh how I wish I would have listened. He tried to call me the morning of his heart attack, which he did often. Very early, for he always awoke with the chickens awaiting time to go to my aunts to pick up a pack of cigarettes and he never had a sleep pattern. He was disabled, no vehicle, so he just watched tvunless he rode his bike or went to his momma's. He smoked 3 packs of cigarettes a day and he was cut back to 1 pack a day which he could never quite get used too. It was for his health but he had a lot of anxiety issues and being as I do too, I now see how he could actually of gotten to smoking so much. Anyway, he could only get 1 pack every 24 hours. Not every day but exactly 24 hours apart so he would call me a lot to see if I was gonna be out that morning so I might come by to bring him a couple of cigarettes. Thatmorning it was 5:30 when he called, I was still so asleep that I remember picking up the phone and getting mad for being woke up but I didn't answer it, I was just gonna call him back when I got up, which would've probably been around 8 or 9:00 am. It was too late, he rode his bike to thestore after I didn't answer, in the dark, with a flashlight. He got nervous a lot riding his bike and would have anxiety attacks, afraid of being hit by a car. Anyway, he had his heart attack while riding, alone. I will never forgive myself for not answering that phone nor listening to my daddy and letting him talk to me. I pray he forgives me though. I know he just wanted to say some things to us he wanted us to know and I didnt let him. It's too late now though and I pray no one else ever makes the mistake I did. Cherish every moment in life, you never know how long anyone has. Only God does. God, I pray your looking after my daddy for he had a heart of gold. His disease made him say and do things sometimes which he always regretted. I love you daddy and always will....

Daddy gr up in Sophi NC. The yougest and onlybiological son of Norman Ray Nelson He hada brother by my grandmother and three sisters by his mother and father. He had two siblings die in nfancy. My gradmother looked after my father till his dying day. She had the true love of a mother. My father ws diagnsed  schizophrenic early in his adult life. We all knew something was wrong just not what. My grandmother was bound and determned to find out for he didnt act right. Once he was dagnosed and had proper treatment he was much more himself. He always oved his three kids and he awlays loved my mother. They divorced when I was about twelve and he never got over her. He always talked to us about her. Even though he dated afew times, he ust was never happy wit another woanso he remained single and never remarried. I think somewhere deep down my mother always sill hd some feelings for her first love. Shewas at the funeal whch I know you would be glad t know, as im sure you already do. Daddy,please forgive me for all the times yo tried to tell me we needed to talk, you had some things importat t tell me, and I ignored it. I just ssumed you were rambling but nowI know you knew what was gonna happen. Fogive me for not answerng the call u made to me that moning at 5:30. You did it so much I just figured I would call u back. I never imagined Id never have another chance to speak wth you You had a rough life becase a lot of people didnt undertand you. Im sorry for that. I hope those who were so mean to you have learned from this. you shouldve never rode a bicycla at 5:30 in the morn in the dark to the store. You got so easily paranoid often on your bike afraid of getting hit by a car, Instead , you pushed yourself o the limit and had a heart attack. I still beleive fear was  factor. Jut now youre sorely missed and greatly loved, your eldest daughter, Taressa. I will post ur picture as son as I dig out my picture books love always and forever.