Celebration of David B Wells Life

March 15th, 2014

All of you here are a testament to what I think David’s dream was…it was

to treat all people with respect,..

to share a piece of himself with his unique sense of humor...

to be generous to a fault to those in need…

and to always be there as a pillar of strength and wisdom…

I believe he accomplished that and then some.

Before I go further, I want to thank a few people who have really stepped up during this journey which started way back in May of last year.  I want to thank them not based on the amount of help they provided but the way they provided it, when they provided it and how they provided it.  Each of you never tired of giving genuine hope, encouragement and love…and there was nothing that David could or would do without because of your heartfelt devotion.

Gavin – the cheerleader

Randy – the writer

Dr. Law – the General

Eisenhower 3 East Oncology Staff – The A Team

Rob – Mr. Everything to David AND I

June – Great Teammate and Confidant

My Mom – Loving David as her own

What will you miss about David?  I would imagine some of the stuff on my list here is on yours.

I will miss (and missing), his cast of characters Blanche Devereaux from Golden Girls, Ginger Grant from Gilligan’s Island and Dr. David Dickman the sex therapist.  For those of you who experienced any and/or all of these characters knows #1, I can’t even come close to re-creating it for you today and #2 how incredibly funny it really was….the kind of funny that was not trying to get attention…but just naturally funny that flowed out effortlessly.  I know his family here today can attest that the cast of characters may have changed over the years but the degree of funny has not.

I will miss his giant, blue and very expressive eyes

I will miss his warm, comforting hands

I will miss shopping for and going to Halloween parties with him

I will miss watching him shave  

I will miss seeing his uniform laid out on the bed for that day’s softball game

I will miss finding numerous bouquets of roses he shanghaied from all over the condo property. 

I will miss packing and heading out for fun trips to SF, Vancouver, Chicago and other cities that are still are on our bucket list.

I will miss being spoiled rotten in every sense of the word.

I will miss the 9,000,000 euphemisms… “too much sugar for a dime” comes to mind…or “a fast nickel is better than a slow dime”…very southern…so you get the picture.

I will miss how he shared me with his family…which by the way treated me like anyone else…because they know that true love is the same love for everyone…and I want to thank you guys for that.

And yes David my love…I will miss how you reveled in combining intimacy and love.

Today we are not saying goodbye to our friend, father, brother, son, uncle or partner, but rather thanking him for being in our lives and that his spirit and memory will live on as long as each of us draws a breath.

Lastly, I received a sympathy card from someone I know and admire who has experienced the loss of her father and then her son.  She sent the card at a crucial time when I was struggling with how to in some way still have David with me.  In the card she shared this poem with me hoping it would bring comfort when I needed it like it did for her….and it does.

And if I go, while you are still here…

Know that I live on,

Vibrating to a different measure,

Behind a thin veil that you cannot see through.

You will not see me, so you must have faith.

I will wait there for the time when we can soar together again, both aware of each other.

Until then, live your life to the fullest.

And when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart…I will be there.

My precious David

The beginning and the end started with those huge, incredible blue eyes…add in that butter soft, gentlemanly, southern voice and I was hooked instantly.

I tried the other day to put down 10 things that I will miss and loved so much about David…but I had to stop jotting things down after 35.  I could have gone on and on, but let’s just say that we were like any other couple trying to have a full life…and we did.

It was only a year ago this time that David commented how happy he was with his life.  He was happy where we were in our relationship, his job, his work schedule, his softball involvement, his physical fitness and numerous friends and acquaintances.  He felt like everything had fallen into place…a place that he longed for…a full life.  We were both on top of the world so to speak.

However there was a bigger challenge ahead waiting for us.  The battle was on in his fight against Cancer.  It amazed me to watch David over 7 months persevere through an insane amount of testing, poking, prodding, injecting, CAT scanning, x-raying, ultra sounding, pills, ointments and IV drips of all kinds.  We affectionately called his IV pole the Christmas Tree of Life...at one time it had 6 IV's running at one time.  

Through all of this he was always thanking me or June or Dr. Law or the staff at Eisenhower for the care he received.  He was less concerned about himself and more about everyone else.

It may seem that he/we lost…and yes David did lose his life and as devastated as I (we) may feel about it the beautiful thing that came out of it is he showed to everyone guts, determination, humility, kindness, appreciation to others and love to everyone around him.  But then again, he was like this ALL the time. 

He left quite a mark on a lot of people he touched during his life because he has class, is a true gentleman and one magnificent WARRIOR. 

I am searching for a way to fill the huge void I have in my life now (and you may have one too).  I am so missing that smile, those eyes, the warm hands, infectious sense of humor as well as being my protector, my rock, my partner for life. 

This poem gives me hope that even though I can never feel, see or touch him again…I do have an emotional, spiritual way to keep his memory alive and vibrant in my heart and thoughts.

David is not only forever in your heart (our hearts)

He is also forever in:

Our minds and thoughts

Our dreams

Our conversations

Every sunrise and sunset

The moon and the stars

The Ocean

The Mountains

The sky and the clouds

Our prayers

Our hopes

 But most important, David is in our memories and our lives, every day in every way forever.

 This is how we keep him close and alive in our hearts and minds.

 As long as we do this he is never really gone…just from sight only.

In every other aspect David is with us and always will be.

David, you can now finally be with your beloved Mother, Mary…where you can talk again and carry on as you did on this earth….your eyes ALWAYS lit up when you talked about her and I am so very happy for that.

I look forward to being with you again hand in hand, loving each other for ever and ever.

Miss you Love you Need you

By the way...I already lived my dream, I had you  

Good bye for now my precious David.