I was 6 months pregnant and I was starting to have a lot of lower belly pains and the first thing that I thought that I was going into premature labor I was known for giving birth alittle early but not that early so I went to the hospital and they told me that I was having false contractions and that they couldnt give me any pain meds or stop the contractions because what ever they did could hurt my baby so I just had to deal with it and make a follow up appointment with my obgyn so I did and they told me that I was having round ligament pain and four days away from my delivery date and I was in so much pain that I was in tears so I went to the doctors and told them that is was in an anormous amount of pain and that I could not deal with it anymore to please induse my labor and deliver the baby and they told me that legaly they could not induse my labor until I was 39 weeks pregnant and I wasn't but 38 and a half so I had four more days until I was 39 weeks well four days after I went to the doctors for the pain I couldn't feel the baby move but he was known to get lazy in the afternoon and I had been back and forth from the hospital and doctors for that too and they would have to check my cervix to make him move well by the next morning I still had not felt him move so at about 8:30 am on the morning of june 4 2009 I went to the hospital and the nurses searched my four different ways for his heart beat and then one nurse leaves and then the same nurse and a different doctor came in with a mini ultra sound machine and the doctor looked at me and said your baby doesn't have a heart beat and turned around and walked out of the room he had no compassion at all for what I was fixing to go through and then I begged them not to make me deliver him natural but they promised me that if I agreed to deliver him natural that they would sadate me to where I would not feel anything but they lied they did keep me sadated for awhile but a hour before I was to deliver him they stoped giving me pain meds and made me push him out then to top it all of the discharged me from the hospital after telling me that I was bleeding more than normal four hours after words the only thing that I could think aout was why did this terriable thing have to  happen to my wonderful baby boy what did I do to deserve this what happend and how much pain and anger that I felt towards god and everyone I hated life I didnt want to love anymore I didn't even what to look at my husband because he looked so much like my baby boy I have attempted suicide so many times I just want to see my baby boy so much and they all took that from me I am still angry with god for what he has done to me