Merry Christmas sis I love and miss you. I took Christmas flowers out to you about a week ago. I was hoping to see Eric this year but I guess he didn't have time for me this year. Maybe some day he will love his Aunt Tina again,I keep hoping. Just don't forget about me sis, I love and miss you.

Happy Birthday Sis I miss you so much. Life has been pretty awful without you. I get mad and sad on your birthday because you should be here and your not. Please don't forget me sis. I hope you had a wonderful birthday today in heaven.

Happy New year sis! I love and miss you more every year. This year you became a great grandma and I became a great great Aunt.

Merry Christmas in heaven sis. I cried Christmas eve as I was wrapping presents and thinking of you. I wish with all my heart that I could see you and hug you. We got some snow for Christmas eve and Christmas day, that would have made you happy. Give everyone a kiss for me and tell them I miss them. I love and miss you all.

Just wanted to tell you Happy Thanksgiving in heaven. I love and miss you so much sis. It's a real struggle to stay here when I wish I was with you. I keep trying for you sis. 
Love you.

HAPPY 55th BIRTHDAY Deb,I Love and miss you so much!

It's been 7 years since you've been gone sis and I still miss you as much as the day you left. I hope with all the time that's passed you haven't forgotten me. I love and miss you sis.

I miss you sis so much! I just feel so depressed as it gets closer to your 7th anniversary in heaven. I'm so glad your not here to see the state the world is in right now, it's awful. I have been so depressed I hadn't taken a shower in 3 days. I just dont care and I just feel so lost right now and I just dont know how to get over it. Brandon deserves better from me I just dont know how to give that right now. I miss you sis, I need you to hold my hand and tell me it's ok. I just hope you havent forgotten me.

Merry Christmas sis! I hope you had a good Christmas in heaven know that I love and miss you so much. I'm hanging in there for you sis I wouldn't do it for anyone else.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING IN HEAVEN SIS. I sure did miss you today. Take care of Rocky for me and tell him I miss my mender of broken hearts.

Hey sis,
Rocky died yesterday at 1:30pm in my arms. I tried to save him. I took him to the vet because he stopped eating and they did an xray and saw a mass near his intestines and his intestines looked like one big mass. I had him rehydrated because he was so dehydrated from not drinking and eating and I did that on thursday plus they gave me meds to try to get him to eat but it never worked and he died in my arms November 10, 19. It has broken my heart sis. I loved Rocky and I just cant believe he is gone. I wrapped him in a black cat hooded towel and he is buried next to Jose'. Take good care of my Rocky sis I really love and miss my Rock.

I was having a tough day the other day and I was on the blood mobile and there was the breast cancer ribion on the side of a semi passing us and I knew it was a sign from you that everything was going to be fine. I saw your sign sis I know you were there with me. I always look for your messages and signs everywhere. I love and miss you Deb, I know your always with me.

Look tonight in the sky sis. and I are sending you a pink and blue lantern with Birthday messages on them for you.

Happy 54th heavenly Birthday sis. I love and miss you!!!!

Hi sis,
Just sitting here at my new job. It's going ok, but I swear Matt just walked by the window and I swear I saw dad sitting in a van. Lol.. I know just me wishing, wishing i had you all back I miss you tons and everyday I wake up I am still stunned I'm still here. I just look out the window and wonder how long do I have to wait to see you smile at me again. Just know our lives are emptier now that your mot here. I love and miss you.
Your little sister.

Hey sis I've been meaning to tell you something. As of April 26th 2019 I will not work for the WM. You and I started this journey together in 1994 but now that your gone I have to end this alone. I just cant do this anymore and to be honest I really dont want too. I got a new job and I'm going to give it my best shot. I wish you were here to encourage me but i know you will be doing it from heaven. I love and miss you Deb.

Happy New Year sis!!! I miss you so much and think of you everyday. You always made me feel loved and wanted, now I just feel like an inconvenience or no more than something to be tolerated. You could always convince me to tell people to step off. I sure wish you were here to help me now. Brandon misses his Aunt Debby, someday I will find him a smiley with blonde hair and glasses so he can have you with him. I miss you sis.

My 5th Christmas without you. I hope with all my heart that you had a beautiful Christmas in heaven. Know that I love and miss you and wish you were here. I think about every single day and wish I had you back. I believe I will see you again but for now I will continue to see you in my dreams. Give my baby a hug and kiss for me. Love always
Tina

I still cant understand why I'm still here and your gone. I should be gone and you should be here. Being with out you is the worst punishment in the world. I love and miss you sis.

Hey sis, I wanted you to know Joel Osteen will be here tomorrow night at 7pm and I am taking Cliff he is very excited to go and experience what we did 7 years ago. I wish you were here to go with me again and hold my hand. I really miss you sis my world has been so empty with out you in it. I will be thinking about you tomorrow night I know you will be with me in spirit. Deb can I ask you a favor? In my dreams you and I are happy and we have so much fun but could you slow down a little. I'm older than you now and it's getting harder for your little sis to keep up. Lol.. I love and miss you
Love always Tina

Hi Sis I want to say Happy Birthday! you would have been 53 today. Wow! I just want to tell you how much I miss you every single day and every moment since you left. Every birthday since you left has been so painful knowing I'm hear another year and your gone. I am so sorry sis. I'm not sure why I am still here other than because of Brandon. I just know life is sure empty since you left. I'm sending you birthday messages on sky lanterns tonight so watch for them. I love and miss you sis.

I can't believe here in a few hours you will be gone 5 years. Debby I love and miss you so much. I never in my life ever thought I would ever be this lonely and feel this alone in the world for this long. I dream of you almost every night and most of the time you and I have so much fun together that I don't want to wake up. I wasn't even sure if I would make it to the 5 anniversary of your passing, most don't. I felt the count down begin the moment you left us and I wonder how much time I have and how long I will have to be here with out you. I am trying so hard deb I really, really am. I am trying so hard for Brandon but I still just don't know if I can do this. I just feel so alone in this world with out you. I stopped and left you flowers today to say I'm sorry that your gone and I am still here, it would have been easier if it was you bringing flowers to me I know you would have handled this so much better than me. I just really, really miss you sis.
Love you always your
LiL SiS.

Hey Deb, can you believe it Amanda is 29 years old now. I feel so old I really do and I no Amanda misses you and so does Brandon he tells me tha t all the time and all I can say is me to sweety. Life is just flying and be for you know it I will see you again. Don't forget me sis.

I really miss you sis, I miss your voice your silliness and your smile. God what I would give for a hug and to hear you say I love you LiL sis.

I miss you sis, I really need to talk to you and I really need you to hug me and tell me it will be ok.

Tomorrow Matt will be gone 5 years sis, five years. The pain and loss I feel hasn't gotten any better in the last five years, it has only gotten worse. I knew life would never be the same when you left, I just didn't know my whole life would end, I just wasn't prepared for that. I just miss you so much and I'm just scared.

Happy New Year sis.
I can't believe another year with out you is almost here. I miss you a lot and I'm sorry your not here you should be your missed alot.

Well sis I kept my promise and had my mammogram and this time it didn't come back fine. I have to go back for more pictures. I hope it's nothing but I'm a little scared. It will soon be 5 years since you left I was kinda hoping if I made it past the 5 year mark I'd be ok. Stay with me sis I'm scared I'm not as tough as you and I don't want to do this alone.

Merry Christmas sis I miss you so much. I hope you and matt and the rest of the family there in heaven have a Merry Christmas and know we love and miss you and with out you the world is less bright.

Happy Thanksgiving sis, I love and miss you.

Hi sis, I miss you. Well now i'm 2 years older than you. I'm having a hard time dealing with this. I just feel guilty that i'm stll here and your gone it's just not fair. Well we are starting on the 5th year now so i guess i will find out if i have to stay or i get to go. If you servive 5 years after a siblings death your good so i guess this year is a waiting game for me. I've decided on no buryal i just want to be creamated and have my ashes scattered at sea. I love being on the water. No grave, no stone, no furneral no showing. Save my kids a tone of money. No one would show up to see me anyway. Just remember you promised to come get me so don't forget. Tell matt i love and miss him and Happy Birthday. Can't believe he's 31 now.i miss you both.

Hey sis Happy Birthday. Here on earth your now 52 but in heaven your younger. I love and miss you sis im lonley with out you. Please dont leave me here forever it sucks with out you. Give everyone a hug and kiss for me and tell them i love them.

I guess by now that Shelbe is with you and you are watching over her. I am truly saddened to know that Mike waited over a month to tell me she had died April 7, 2017. We may not see eye to eye but I am not so cold of a sister or a person in general that I wouldn't care. She was my niece and I care and would have been more than willing to help any way I could. I don't understand sis why are kids are dying early. My heart breaks for Mike it really does I know what it did to you. My heart keeps getting ripped out again and again by our cousins. I am not allowed to give you and grandma a headstone and I really wanted to do that for you because I love you. Now I am no longer allowed to decorate your grave. I can only have the Mary statue and I am only allowed to leave flowers on your birthday or a Holliday. Each time I get denied to do things for you it is like losing you all over again. It hurts that family can treat family this way and it's OK. I just don't want you to be disappointed in me sis I tried so hard to do what I could for you but there are people for some reason that go out of their way to make sure I don't get it done. I tried really hard for you sis I really did.
I love and miss you
Tina

Happy Mother's Day sis I love and miss you.

It's 4 years now that your gone and I just want you to know how much I love and miss you. Life has been so dark and lonely since you left. I miss talking to you and coming to you with problems because I knew you cared and I knew you had an answer. I have no one now and all I can do is cry when I need relief from pressures of this life I have now that your not here to help me fix it. I'm happy that your free from pain but for me the pain just drags on. I still don't get why your gone and I'm still here. I feel so guilty because you had grand babies that needed you so much and I will never have that. If it wasn't for Brandon I would have joined you a long time ago but I have to stay for him as long as I can. I really, really miss you sis and I'll never stop loving you or protecting you as long as I am breathing. Don't forget about me sis. I love you.

Happy Easter sis, I love and miss you. I hope you, matt, mom, dad and grandma are having a nice Easter in heaven. Know I miss you and Brandon colors a pink egg just for his Aunt Debby every Easter.

Hey sis I got a treat for you. Cindy Stanifer gave me a couple of pictures of you. One was her and you at the zoo in Chicago and the other is mom holding you and she is pregnant with me. Cool uh, it's our first picture together. I wish you could have seen them before you died. I will put them up so everyone can see. I love and miss you sis.

Happy New year sis I miss you.

Miss you sis but I caught the signs you were sending me Christmas day. I spent Christmas at work it was horrible. I wish I could have went to your house to see you I really miss doing that. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas in heaven know I miss you and I'm really lonely with out you.

Hey sis, I want to tell you I am so sorry from the bottom of my heart. I am so sad and confused and I have dreaded this day since you left. I am now officially older than you. I knew it would happen but I really didn't want it too. If I thought I was hated before, I really am now because I'm still here and your not. I don't understand that at all why you wouldn't be here and me be gone I still don't understand it. Did you know how much I'd miss you sis did you understand how bad it would hurt when you left. I'm so sorry I'm here and your not. I used to give you cards that said you would always be older than me and there was nothing you could do about it, did you have to prove me wrong? I never wanted to be older but we did plan to grow old together and now I have to do it with out you. I bought you a new statue for your grave since the one you and grandma have is falling apart. I know it's not as pretty as the one you have but sis it was the best I could do I hope you like it. I love and miss you with all my heart.

Happy Birthdy SIS I LOVE and miss you...

Thank You Sis for holding my hand and my heart as I took my final test and passed it. I could feel you with me as I took my test I hope your proud. I couldn't have done it without you, of all the people in my life that has abandoned me I knew no matter what that you never, ever would. I love and miss you with all my heart. Thanks Sis for believing in me.

I screwed up sis big time. I wish I could talk to you.

Oh sis I have dreaded this day, I knew it would come and I have been so scared of it. I promised at one of your last Dr. Appt. that if you passed away that I wouldn't be long after you and if it hadn't been for Amanda and Brandon I would have already been with you. I just couldn't leave them especially Brandon as much as I hate being here without you I just can't leave him. Sis I know you understand that I have to stay with him as long as I can if it wasn't for that I'd have done left. I can't help the way I feel, I feel so guilty that I'm still here and you had to leave. You had your granddaughters and they needed you so bad and I would have given anything to have taken your place so you could have stayed. I never thought in a million years that I would become older that you. I hate it and I am so, so sorry. I just feel that I got something you should have had and it makes me feel so guilty. We shared everything and I hate that I have something you should have had the chance to have. I really don't feel like I deserve this I guess that's why I feel so guilty. I wanted so much for you and grandma to have a headstone but the powers that be won't let that happen and I'm sorry, you and grandma deserve to have one. I am going to start giving back the little bit of money back that was given to me for that since I can't get you one. The money was for you and not for me so if I can't give you a stone then I will give it back. I just wanted to do something nice for you and grandma. I keep buying you flowers and solar pretties for your grave so you will know I haven't forgotten you. I miss you just as much today as I did the day you left. I hope you’re happy where you are and Please sis don't forget me.
I love you.

I will never get over how empty and lonely life is with out you sis. I miss you more then you would have ever imagined. I love and miss you.

Happy New Year Sis, I really miss you so much I hope you know that.

Missed you today Christmas day sis. This is my 2d Christmas without you and it was lonely with out you and Amanda wasn't hear either so that made it sad too. Didn't hear from one person in our family I shouldn't be surprised I guess. Just know you were very missed by me today. Love and miss you sis.

Missed you today sis, I miss having ThanksGiving at your house. I missed helping you in the kitchen and just sitting and laughing with you and spending time with you. Life just hasn't been the same since you left. No one calls and No one cares since you left. I still wish it had been me and not you, you would have handled this so much better than I have. I just wanted you to know how much you are missed today. I'm sure by more than just me.

Deb, I think Matt came to see me today in a round about way. I was so happy to see him.
I am sure with out a doubt that I saw an angel today. One of the young men that installed windows on my house looked and sounded like my nephew Matt that killed his self 2 years ago. I don't think I realized till today just how much I missed him. The young man was silly and sweet and nice just like my birthday buddy Matt was when he was younger. If that was you in spirit Mathew thank you for visiting your Aunt Tina I sure have missed you.

Tuesday Sept 22, 2015 I had to put Samantha to sleep. Deb I needed you today to hold my hand through this. Doing this was like losing you all over again and my heart is just so broken. She stopped eating and today she only weighed 2 pounds and 14 ozs and Samantha was having a hard time standing so I petted her and told her I loved her as she went to sleep then I took her home and buried her next to Salem and Jeremy. God what a hard day, I know if you had been here you would have been with me today holding my hand and crying too. It is so hard to keep going since you've been gone. My whole world has just crumbled and I just don't know what to do. Still need your help sis. I love and miss you please take care of Samantha for me til I can be with you again.