Mom was sitting at home watching her favorite show, at the time, Judging Amy, with Dad. An uneasy feeling set over me and I went to the bathroom. Water was gushing out slowly and then rapidly, when I stood up. You were not due for another 7 weeks. Panicked started in. I had two early babies before, but this was different. My water had never broke, so I was unsure what this was! I stayed in the bathroom for quite a while, scared and hoping it was nothing too serious, but I knew that something was wrong! I was shaking and every time I tried to stand up water gushed rapidly. Dad came to the knock on the bathroom door to ask if I was okay and I said NO! I locked the door and wouldn't come out. Finally, I told him, I think my water broke, I have to call the doctor. The doctor's response was even more stressful, he said this is not good repeatedly and told me to get the hospital right away. On the way to the hospital I started shaking violently, so violently I couldn't control myself. I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. Your room was ready. I had decorated it in puppies and painted them on the wall. Your crib was waiting full of stuffed puppies and all of the baby supplies and clothes, blankets and everything else you could possibly need. It had been ready for months. You were a baby that mom had planned for and I was impatiently waiting to see your face. For about a week prior, I had been having back pains. It could have been labor, but the Dr. dismissed it as just part of the process, at the Dr.'s suggestion, I went and had a massage, but it wasn't getting any better. On the day my water broke something scary happened. We were at your brother Austin's swimming lesson and the back pain was very bad. I couldn't find a comfortable spot or position. Nana was there also and when I turned and was looking out the window with my back towards the pool, because I had a very intense pain and was now pacing, your brother Austin almost drowned. He was five years old and surrounded by adults. The other kids and him were standing on a board that helped them stay above the water. The instructors were in the pool with him and parents were all around the front of the pool. No one noticed that Austin slipped off the board and was under water struggling and unable to get back to the surface. A mother finally jumped in the water with all her clothes on and saved your brother. Everyone was pretty shaken up. I was having what I know now where intense labor pains in my back and was unable to stay in one place and that is why I had been pacing the floor. You were about to arrive, I just didn't know it yet. It was too early and back pain is common in the later stages of pregnancy so no one thought much of it, not even my Dr. It is so strange to think that the day you arrived, we almost lost your brother, and then we thought we were going to lose you. We got to the hospital and when I got out of the car, it was like I wet my pants. The water was just gushing like crazy and I was shaking like crazy. It was early for you to come and the Dr. was definitely worried, as worried as we were. Once mom's water broke, that was it. You had to be delivered. The dr. told me it would be best to fly to Salt Lake City on the Life flight so that there would be proper care for you once you were born and they could deal with any struggles you might have, being a preemie. The only problem was, the flight would take some time, an ambulance ride to the airport, flying to Salt Lake City, an ambulance ride from that airport to the hospital and it just so happened that the whole town of Elko was out of the medicine that could slow down my labor. Now, I had to make the decision of taking a very big chance. I could deliver you in Elko, and they would immediately life flight you to Salt Lake, while I was stuck in the Elko hospital - or I could take my chances on making it to the Salt Lake hospital without delivering you in the airplane. I decided I was going to be where you were and put my faith in God. The plane ride was a scary one as the contractions continued and nothing to slow it down. I prayed and prayed and prayed for God to save you and let you come home with mom and dad. I prayed for you to be healthy and normal but more than anything I prayed for your survival. I felt the presence of Grandma Bear around me (we had lost her a few years before), enveloping me, as I prayed on the plane. It was like she was an angel, carrying me and assured me that everything would be alright. Peace finally came over me. God was with us, we made it to Salt Lake and delivered as soon as we got there. You were tiny, 4 lbs. 13 oz., (bigger than your brother Austin who was 4 lbs. 11 oz, just earlier) but healthy and no major problems. My prayers had been answered. I had the son I had dreamed of for the last two years and he was going to be okay. the Dr.'s in Salt Lake were able to tell me why I had delivered three premature babies. I had a bicornate uterus, which means you only grew on one side of my uterus and that is why you all came early! Your sister and brother were there to greet you with grandma and grandpa. You were on oxygen, but a fighter and a beautiful little guy. You were bruised up pretty bad from a difficult delivery where they couldn't seem to pull you out of mom's tummy, but you should have seen mommy's bruise! It didn't matter, all was okay and our new life with you had started. The first two weeks we just stayed near the hospital. Spending as much time there as we could to see you. Waiting for you to take your feedings and gain weight so that we could take you home. A couple days after you were born, the hospital told us that you would have to be transferred to another hospital due to problems with our insurance company. Mommy was not quite ready to be discharged yet, so I was pretty upset when they put you on an ambulance and sent you across town to another hospital. I paced the floor in fury until they released me and even after a c-section and me not supposed to be walking, I toughed it out to get to you. The moment you were released we got in the car and went searching for you in the new hospital. We parked in a huge parking garage and I walked and walked and walked to find the entrance. Then I walked and walked to find your floor, and then the NICU where they had you. I didn't feel safe until I knew where you were. I continued this routine everyday walking as far as I had to, everyday to get to the hospital and see you. Once I arrived and seen the hospital and the NICU and met the nurses, all my fears subsided. It was actually a blessing in disguise because it was a much better hospital, with much better care and wonderful staff. I knew you were in good hands. We waited out the days, through the feedings and the weigh ins, until we finally got the news we could bring you home. We couldn't have been happier to finally get to have you all to ourselves and bring you home to your own house, with your own bedroom, your brother and sister, grandparents, and all of the family waiting. And that is the story of how it all began...all the scares and trials and tribulations and now my "little ray of sunshine" was here, and he had definitely stolen his mommy's heart and the rest of the family's too!
