A Father's Love


My earhtern father he wasn't always there He wasn't always around So often times I wondered did he even care.

My earthern father He wasn't always true Sometimes he let me down sometimes he made me feel sad and blue. My earthern father at times he was hard and even difficult to be found.

 I can't quite understand the patience of this man Always seeming to find a way to disappoint and hurt Was he tired or just not too alert?

I spoke those words not to bring hurt or shame to my daddy's memory or even his name. But to bring glory to my Heavenly Father.

You see I used to be like all the other little girl so long ago you know. Wanting him to be there so desperately, didn't you know That I need you so, I never wanted you to go Did you ever think daddy that I wanted you to stay Before you up and left on that sad day.

I didn't know like I know now Jesus, yes He will be my friend So even though it is so My earthern father was often on the go.

Yes, I know I told you this before My Heavenly Father was always there with me Always there walking with me As my earthern father was walking out the door.

At times carrying me Loving, comforting, and caring for me Every second, every moment, Of every single day, and even when I didn't see you too busy looking for my earthern father, Heavely Father at those times you stood even closer.

I guess my earthern father never knew Or understood the burden I was carrying He was probably too busy to notice Dealing with all the demons of everyday trouble

At times I guess he forgot That he had conceive a little girl in this world That just wanted him to come back to town And share a little bit of his love

Every once in a while From time to time You know, just take her to the playground

I had plenty of questions for Daddy Never really got any answers Why would you leave me daddy Didn't you care that I am your daughter?

I am so glad my Heavenly Father He didn't leave me that way To the decisions of my earthern father To whether or not he choose to stay

He stepped in and showed his special love WOW! That's the meaning of a true father's love, Redeeming back a daughter through a son's love. Now that's really all I need to know For now and it really is enough

And as for the rest Well that's just earthern stuff Thank You Heavenly Father For sharing my pain

So I say bye bye earthern father I knew you couldn't stay I'm beginning to understand You never stayed around too long That just wasn't part of the plan

Didn't you know that I needed you Daddy I never wanted you to go But later I learned what it meant to obey And I was rewarded the years of the daughter-father delay. So I knew you had to leave my dear daddy to only my Heavenly Father does this apply: I Will Never Leave You Nor Forsake You, everyone else must say goodbye now have came your time, a time I can no longer deny.

So glad that I gave you your flowers while you were here father. There we're always constant reminders that there may not be no tomorrows had I not done that it all would have been lost. And I would have been left with what ifs... and regrets and a heart full of sorrows.

Now you may be questioning is she not bitter is she real ok?, how can you show love this guy when he wasn't there on any on your special days, sure of course I was bitter and very mad, I even had a right to my pain but to tell the truth I was mostly scared I could hold on to it or I could let lose I thought you knew by now that it is that Heavenly Father's love that special gift from above. This is that special love that my heavenly father grew to bring about that special breakthrough.

And put a stop to Satan's horrifying games. Now I can see this most stuning and wonderful thing.

God sent a daughter in all of her pain to go and rescue a father from his guilt and his shame to bring about a love that could break this thing to finally put an end to this demolistic blame.

Bringing about a purpose to this thang. And through it all God worked a plan to free a father and a child from this family legacy and now we are finally free to be able to give God thanks for our family tree.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough and more. It

turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to charity. It can turn a

meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend, Gratitude makes

sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates visions for tomorrow.

( Melody Beattle)

My earthly father wasn't there when I was growing up. Growing up without my dad was a hard thing for me to accept. I remember looking at all the other girls with their dads. But, me I did not have a dad to talk about or talk with. First of all,  he was not there to wipe my tears when I cried. But, My heavenly father was waiting on me to reach out to him and allow him to wipe away my tears. Somehow I ignored God, I wanted my daddy to be there to  tuck me into bed and tell me stories. Even though my earthly father was not there, my heavenly father was right there waiting on me to reach out to him. But, oh I wanted to be like every one else, to have a loving father for a little girl to look up to. Someone to scare away the monsters and bad guys, to take away all my fears. Not knowing that my heavenly father promised to take away all these things. But, I continued to ignore my heavenly father. I remember as a child around my dad's mom or sister,  searching for pictures or eavesdropping for his name to be called. With my heavenly father he was just a whisper away, all I had to do was call on the name of Jesus. But, I continued to ignore my loving heavenly father. My earhtly father,  was missing in all areas of my life. There were many nights I longed to have him in my life. I grew on up to be a teenager, started dating, my dad was not there to guide me or teach me about the slick willie. Therefore, I was not wise to the games that happen while dating. Even when I got married he was not there to give me away. I am not sharing out of spite, or to bring shame on my dad. This was my life, this is what I lived. Even though my earthly father was not there my heavenly father was right there all the time. Because the bible says he will be your mother and your father. But, I ignored my heavenly father and became angry that my earthly father paid me no attention. In the process of ignoring my heavenly father I did things that meant me no good. Even though I felt all alone I was not  alone, I just did not know it.  God was there all the time. Our earthly fathers get to choose what they want to do. Unfortunely some don't choose the right thing.  God gives us all a choice,  But, one thing he does promise is that he will be there for the motherless and the  fatherless. He will be our mother, he will be our father. Instead of me looking to God who was there all the time I felt sorry for myself, and continued to ignore God. I went through a lot because of this. I did not realize what God was lovingly doing in my life then. Amazingly it was only when I truly stop ignoring my heavenly father that was when I got my earthly father, and was able to enjoy him the last few years of his life. I thank God for those memories that I have today. He made it all possible. My heavenly Father did it. No one could have done it any better. I love the outcome so much better. I did not realize God's love and plan for my life , then,  but I realize it now!! Praise God!!

Dear Family/Friends,

     I want to take this time to express to you my sincere gratitude for the thoughtful gifts that you gave.  Maybe it was a kind word or a phone call, or just  showing your concern for me during this difficult time. Whatever it was it  means a lot, because, you did not have to do anything.  But, I am glad you did something to let me know you care. I needed that. First of all, I want to thank my cousin Elizabeth for her generous gift. This however,  meant more to me than she  will ever know. Secondly,  I want to thank my Aunt Mary, Aunt Louise, Aunt Willie Bell, Aunt Lillie, my step dad Robert, my sister Onie, who stepped in and helped me with their generous gifts. I also want to thank my cousin Hosea who took care of the grave etc, and all my family who helped with the food and church.  I want to especially thank Minister Rupert who accepted my request to do the eulogy for my father, with very little notice. I also want to thank my cousin Alice for the story she gave concerning my dad, I really enjoyed it. I love the poems and the tribute, they give my soul an uplift each time I go there. I am truly thankful for the love I feel. Thanks for the  stories from my daughter and son. Even if I did not call your name. Thank you for being there when I needed you. Finally, dealing with the death of my dad, in whom I truly miss, is a very trying ordeal but, your actions have really lighten the load, for that I especially thank you. May God Bless each of you.

Distractions

If I could see John's vision If I could see what he fortold Could I see then the need for a Savior Or would it change nothing of my sinful soul

If I could see John's vision If I could see what he fortold Would I believe the constant petition Of the rapture being only perceived as superstition

If I could see John's vision If I could see what he fortold Would I notice where I am Or would I choose distractions to make my emptiness whole.

If I could see John's vision If I could see what he fortold Would the trumpets of heaven alert me Or would New Life rebirth me

Now I see John's vision I read God's precious Word No longer will I let distractions disturb me No longer will I not heed God's Word

This is dedicated to Maude Harrison
Dewey's Daughter 



     When trials come as they so often will, When the road of life seems all uphill; Pause for a moment and be still, Keep your Faith strong and hold on!

Someone you meet may be troubled today, The blue skies in their life may be gray; Pause for a moment and silently pray, Keep your Faith strong and hold on!

Don't be discouraged if burdens come to you, Seems everyone has them in what we do; It may be difficult, but God will see you through, Keep your Faith strong and hold on!

Trials may come to you day or night, Your walk in life may not be bright; Focus your eyes on Jesus...He is the Light, Keep your Faith strong and hold on!

Just keep holding on and don't give up, Don't allow your mind to become corrupt; There may be a bitter (or) better cup, Keep your Faith strong and hold on!

Hold on a little longer, my friend, Someday all these burdens will end; Saints to Heaven shall then Ascend, Just keep your Faith strong and hold on!

Leona I. Miller © 2001

             Dedication to the memory of Dewey:
 
   
 When I was a boy, I wanted all the pretty toys, So I could play and show all the boys. I wanted all the things I could touch and see, I would be as happy as a boy could be.
When I was a young man, I wanted all the girls, So I could make love and touch their beautiful curls. I wanted all the women I could touch and see, I would be as happy as a young man could be.
When I was a man, I wanted all the things I could get, So I could conquer all with no regret. I wanted to impress everyone I could touch and see, I would be as happy as a man could be.
When I was an old man, I wanted my life I wasted, So I could enjoy my family and things I never tasted. I wanted everything I didn't touch and see, I would be as happy as an old man could be.
When I was a dying man, I wanted God’s hand, So I could go and see the promised land. I wanted Jesus to touch and see, I would be as happy as a dying man could be.
Timothy R. McGuire Hamilton, Ohio

Grief is not something we “get through”… you “get through” a bad day Grief is not something we “get over”, “you ”get over” a cold” Grief is not something we “move on from” you “move on from” a bad relationship” But Grief is… a companion we “move forward with”, learning from and growing, with each agonizing step. Grief is… a heart-wrenching process, not bound by time, But sets us on a “lifelong journey” of finding truth and meaning… Grief is not a crutch we hold onto for pity It is not a lack in character It is not a weakness that needs to be strengthened Or a problem that needs fixing It is not an enemy to be slain Or like a wild animal, to be caged Grief is… “A METAMORPHOSIS OF HUMAN LIFE” YES! that needs “time”… “A LIFETIME” Grief is… an acknowledgement of true love shared and true love lost Grief is… a love we hold so deep within our souls That our tears fall to caress the pain… “God given tears”, full of purpose and meaning For each one carries with it a piece of our heart grief hugs us and holds us close to a great love we can no longer touch… grief is… our friend for without it our lives would have been a lie. Grief is…purely and simply a journey of love It is a friend, to those of us who mourn A friend who sees what we need and allows us to be us Grief is a release of unimaginable pain… a release of a great indescribable loss… Grief is… the bridge that crosses repentant oceans, spans desolate canyons, and fear filled mountain tops. that we may cross over this tragedy to a renewed heart by means of the love we shared and continue to share through the love of our Almighty God Grief is… A pain we can use, to broaden our hearts and the hearts of all those around us it is… a road we must travel to gain wisdom. A level of wisdom you will never achieve by playing strong. For only when we sink to the bottomless pit of grief Will we be awakened by the light of truth. Grief… Do not judge it… for it contains Gods secrets Secrets you can only hear by listening through the blare of the pain. It is a sacred contract to be in awe of and inspired by To learn from and grow from To gain compassion and understanding from It is a journey that holds a sacred contract That will be signed by each and every one of us Who has the strength… and the courage… to love with all your heart and all your soul. It is not a journey I would wish on anyone But now that I am here I will walk it with honor And purpose, with my head held high and my feet in stride For at the end of this road there you’ll be, waiting to take me home.

  I remember seeing Uncle Dewey sitting on Uncle Dewitt's porch with his siblings and smiling... tears filling my eyes as I watched the interaction of brothers and sisters (except Aunt Liza) after the death of Aunt Alice Cotton's death.  They had not been together in a long time. At that time there were six, now there are five. At one time there were 16 children of Dewitt and Lizzie Alice Johnson! 

  I remember, Jesus spoke of a resurrection hope: "...there is going to be a resurection of the righteous and unrighteous." (Acts 24:15)  When this hope is realized I want to get to know Uncle Dewey and all the family now "sleeping" in death and enjoy the hope of living forever with them.   

  I will remember when death is no more...

                                                              Warm Christian Love,

                                                                Alice  Ewing, Milwaukee, WI.     

I really didn't know my granddad that well but when I did visit or take him to the hospital he didn't speak that much but he would smile. Letting me know he remembered who I was even though I could have done better by going to the nursing home to see him. Dewey Johnson is my granddad and I will miss him.