When Pastor Chuck asked me to consider speaking today, I struggled a little bit.  Not because I couldn’t think of anything to say, but because I knew how hard it would be to speak after such an emotional week.  Please bear with me as I give it my best shot. 

When I was reflecting on what to say, it was immediately clear what would become the centerpiece of the discussion…(show roll paddle)…this thing.  Now I imagine some of the looks on your faces mirror mine when I saw it for the first time, so let me give you the back story.  Very early on in my marriage with Meagan, we came over to Tarpon Springs to visit Don and Susan.  There is a chain of restaurants called “Lee Roy Selmons” that I wanted to go to, so we all went.  Anyone that knows me knows that I have quite an appetite, and I was particularly hungry that day.  I absolutely loved their rolls, so as soon they brought them out, I devoured them.  I think we probably ended up placing two more orders of them, with me eating the vast majority of them.  Don just thought this was hilarious the entire time, so on the way out, he asked if we could have another order to-go.  Fast forward a month or two to the next time Don and Susan came to Orlando to visit us.  As soon as they walk in the door, he has a big boyish grin on his face and can hardly contain himself.  After a few minutes, they told me to sit on the couch and that they had a present for me.  It was not a holiday, birthday, or any other occasion that called for any sort of gifts, so I had no idea what to expect.  Given his transparent level of joy, I thought maybe it was something really special.  Well it turns out it was…in its own very unique way.  As you may or may not be able to see, this is a wooden paddle that was purchased and is covered with preserved, lacquered rolls from Lee Roy Selmon’s.  It’s also covered in various stickers, which I’ll get to later.

I don’t think anyone would ever describe Don or Myself as a man of many words.  Despite that, it didn’t take long at all for us to form a special bond over our shared love of sports.  I can’t tell you how many times the two of us would fall asleep on the couch watching some random matchup between Kansas and Iowa State, or any two other teams that we had no remote connection to.  Typically this would end when his snoring would wake me up, and I’d rise to see that we had completely missed the second half and neither of us had any idea what happened.  It was this type of bond that would ultimately lead us to the creation of the almighty roll paddle.

The paddle was the ultimate trophy between the two of us.  For major sporting events, such as the Super Bowl, March Madness, the NBA Finals, or a heated Florida/Georgia rivalry game, each of us would pick a team to win.  Whoever won got to keep the trophy and hang it up in our respective office.  There is also a corresponding ‘loser’ trophy that the other person has to hang in their office if they lose.  I couldn’t help but laugh this week as I went back through old text messages and saw pictures we had sent to each other of an ominous looking raven, a seahawk flying away with its prey, and a dead badger on the side of the road (sorry to any Wisconsin fans in attendance).  I think that this trophy really symbolized our relationship and Don as a whole.

The first thing that comes to mind when you look at this thing is Don’s clever sense of humor.  It was witty, thoughtful, and sometimes quirky.  With just a couple words, he could have the rest of the family rolling in laughter.  I think this ties in well to the stickers here that say “timeless traditions” and “family legend”.  Susan recounted this week just how funny it was that she never once heard Don refer to his mother or father as ‘mom’ or ‘dad’.  Instead, he gave them the nicknames “Chief” and ‘Mus’.  Similarly, he never referred to his sister by her actual name of Beverly, but instead called her by the name of ‘Butch’.  These names were eventually adopted and used by the rest of the family as well.  Other names for various loved ones have included Munchkin, Gator, Broomstick, and Poopsy.  He also never missed a chance to throw in a witty joke about his wife Susan.  For anyone who has ever known Susan for more than 5 seconds, you’ll know that she has the ability to talk.  With this came countless opportunities when she would set herself up for a perfectly timed joke from another family member, with Don being the king of these.  Don, while I’ll never be able to match your uncanny skill and wit, I promise to do my best to carry on this proud and timeless tradition. 

The next sticker I’d like to cover is this one on the side that says “dedication of planting the seeds of love, faith, and hard work”.  There could not be a more fitting phrase to describe his relationship with his daughter Meagan.  These three attributes are three of her greatest strengths, and are the direct result of his dedication to planting these seeds within her from an early age.  His relationship with Meagan was something that one should truly marvel.  Meagan has an hour commute each day to and from work.  Nearly every evening, no matter what he had going on at work, the two of them would talk on the phone for the duration of her drive home.  If there was ever anything she needed, whether it was some handy work around the house or just someone to talk to, you could know that Don would be available in an instant.    I’ll always remember the multiple weekends he would come over and we would work from sunrise until midnight trying to prepare the nursery in our house for the birth of his granddaughter Everly.

This leads to the next sticker, which says “share good times with friends and family”.  Don took the word “share”, in this circumstance, to an entirely new level.  He wasn’t content just to be present for these good times, but was always right there sharing in the action.  There have been many days spent together as family where chasing around a one-year-old had left Meagan and I, still clinging on to our twenties, exhausted and relegated to sitting on the couch and just observing Everly play.  Don, however, at age 68, was always still right there with her, crawling on the ground, peeping his head into boxes, and being directly involved in the action.  For anyone who was looking at the pictures before the service, you may have seen pictures of Don getting into and laying down in the crib with baby Meagan and Michael.  Don was always excited to do whatever it was that we wanted to do, as long as it involved spending time together as family.  Prime examples include watching rocket launches with Meagan, going to the movies with his son Michael, going to basketball games with me, and even following Susan around the country for her various singing events.  And while we’re on the subject of sharing times with Susan, I thought it was worth mentioning how strong a bond they had together.  A bond so strong that they would independently go to their own respective dentist appointments on the same day, and come home later that day to find out that they ended up having the exact same tooth pulled.  This Christmas, they opened their cards to each other and realized they had gotten the other the exact same card.  Just a couple weeks ago, they ended up in the ICU at the hospital together.  It was a joy to watch the two of them together.  Two people so vastly different, but sharing in the same joy with one another.

It is considered a tradition for the father of the bride to give a speech after the wedding to welcome his new son-in-law to the family and give the new couple advice.  Don had planned to do just that, but wasn’t able to when the moment came due to not feeling well.  Although I never got to hear that speech, the truth is that I didn’t need to.  He welcomed me from the beginning and showed Meagan and I, without fail, what it meant to always be there for each other. 

It is only fitting that the heart of a man who had so much love for his family would continue beating just long enough to make Valentine’s Day his last day on Earth.  “The spirit of family lives on” – the last sticker on the roll paddle – although Don will no longer be here in person with us, his loving spirit has been engrained in us, and surely in anyone who had the privilege of knowing him. 

I most recently won back the roll paddle after Denver won the Super Bowl, but it is not for that reason that I plan to keep the roll paddle.  I plan to hold on to it as a constant reminder of the love and care that he showed his family, something I vow to keep alive and pass down to children of our own.

Don, we love you and we miss you.   Thank you for all you have done for us.  May your spirit continue to live on through the family, and most importantly, go Sparty!