Woke up thinking about you today....

Tito...when I met you, you were only 3 years old. I was dating Tio Carlos and I remember how much he talked about his adorable nephew. He says you would go with your parents to visit him at work and you would run to him with arms open so he could hold you. You always had a smile on your face. That is how I will always remember you. Any family event you attended, you had your soccer clothes and that beautiful contagious smile..  We think about you everyday. It is painful everytime we realize you are no longer here.I cannot even imagine how hard this is for your parents, for Julian, for Adrian.


At our family gatherings, the first thing you did was ask about the food. You LOVED food...except for tomato sauce...  At Isabella's first birthday I decided to not cook, had pizza and pasta catered instead, and you were utterly disapointed that I had not cooked.. Of course you were nice about it, but I always remembered that and always tried my best to cook for you and the rest of the family since I love cooking and Mexican food is my specialty.. 

Your one year is coming up..Just thinking about it gives me a bad feeling in my tummy, pain in my heart and a knot in my throat..  We miss you.. You left behind a sea of people that love and admire and miss you soo much. I hope you know that, wherever you are..   Love you Tito  

Eloi,

Twenty years ago today I saw you enter the world. You were a beautiful, quiet, thoughtful baby. At the JCC where I taught music and your Nana was a teacher we would bring you and your cousin Logan as infants to school and the children would ask to hold either the brown baby or the white baby. You loved singing Disney songs and you sang them very well. When I would bring you over to my house you would pretend to sleep in the car ride over just so you could play with your cousins toys uninterrupted. You knew your cousin would be fast asleep. You loved the water. You loved bathtime. You loved the beach. You loved music. Ive heard from your friends that you loved to dance. You loved sushi and really any fodd that was delicious and nutritious. You loved to travel. You loved Naui. You loved your family. You loved your friends, You loved having a good time and laughing. You loved playing soccer. Eloi, I love you. You are forever missed. Tia Beth

Eloi it's 1200 at night and I'm so tired but I can't fall asleep because I can't stop thinking about you. I'm trying to be strong for your younger brothers like you'd want me to be. I'm trying to smile and laugh thinking about how wonderful you are and how amazing it is how many lives you touched. There are so many people that I don't even know about. U are an amazing son. I couldn't have asked for better. Today I was driving home alone in the car and I couldn't stop crying and screaming why why why did you leave us so soon we all need you here. You wanted to be here. Why not me why you. A parent shouldn't have to outlive their child. The pain is just unimaginable. I'm so angry about what happened I have so many questions and I want the answers but being angry is not going to bring you back. I wish you would have called me or papi we would have done everything we could have to help you. It pains me so much to imagine my baby lost and scared but there's nothing I can do now. We fought for you the moment we thought you were missing and we will continue to fight for you as long as it takes. You would be so proud at how strong your younger brothers are. You will live in us everyday and though it will seem like centuries until I see you again I will look forward to that day. You will always be my son and I will never stop thinking about you. I love you more than life itself and I miss you so much.