- 18 years old
- Date of birth: Jul 25, 1979
- Place of birth:
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
- Date of passing: Aug 11, 1997
- Place of passing:
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
|Let the memory of Erin be with us forever|
This memorial website was created in the memory of our loved one, Erin Harker, 18, born on July 25, 1979 and passed away on August 11, 1997. We will remember her forever.
"How can it be that you are gone from this world for 19 years now. My heart is so broken. My world changed forever on this day and I will never be the same. I dread summer now. Summers were once so special for us. You, Shannon, your Dad and I would have so many adventures and I would be sad to see school go back. To say I miss you ... well, there are no words for that. My heart aches for what might have been. My life was so enriched by you Erin. This is wrong, so wrong. You should have seen your dreams fulfilled and be living life the way it was intended. So much has changed since you left and has changed me forever. Maybe one day we will be reunited and I can hold you again. My love is forever baby girl! Loving and missing you more than anyone can see, Mom xoxo"
"Here we are again Erin. Thirty seven years ago this morning you made your entrance into this big world. You were such a bright baby. Pink and plump with big round eyes. On that day I had so many hopes and dreams for you. Eighteen years was not enough. You were cheated and so was your family. You have been gone from our lives now longer than you lived. Sometimes it is still hard for me to get my head around. To say I miss you ... just words. What I feel in my heart is an ache for you that can't be explained. Yes, time has a way of helping to ease the loss somewhat but that sadness lurks always in the background. I will take flowers to place at your grave today and will go to one of our favourite places and will remember the happier times and wish for what I can't have. Loving you forever and into eternity.
"My dear Erin I have you on my mind this morning and that is nothing new. Christmas is hard to get through these days. Today would be your Aunt Colleen's birthday and I can't help remember how we would celebrate with her. We had so much fun. Hope that you are celebrating with her today. I love and miss you both so much. Life has changed so much and some days I wonder just what I am supposed to be doing now. You have your cousin Darlene with you now. Christmas must have been special for all of you over there. Hope you, Dad, Ziggy and all our family and friends are together and healthy and happy. Miss you and love you forever. Mom xoxoxoxoxo"
"Sitting here this morning thinking of holidays passed and a little smile crept across my face remembering how you would always get chickens and turkeys mixed up! I will always remember the year we were getting ready to go to Cape Breton for Thanksgiving when you were only four years old. We were running around busy putting things in the car. I came inside to find you crying. When I questioned you about why you said "daddy is not taking me"! I replied by asking what you meant. You said "he said he wasn't taking the turkey"! You took it literally when he said he wasn't taking the turkey. Turkey was his pet name for you. Such sweet memories. Maybe your Dad is teasing you still! Hope you are together, along with all the others who have left. Thanksgiving is not the same anymore without you and life has changed so very much for me. Your sister is here with me this year and that is good. Hope you can see all the beautiful colour around right now. Wish you were here. I love and miss you with all my heart. Mom xo"
"There is a myth of closure that I would like to address and I hope these words bring you comfort and peace. When we lose a loved one we often ask ourselves, "When will I begin to feel better? When will I return to normal?When will I achieve some closure?" Closure, our culture tells us, will bring about a tidy ending, a sense of completion. Some grievers hope that the desired magical closure will occur after the funeral or memorial service. Others are confident it will come once they have cleared out their loved one's room. Or maybe after a special personal ritual. Or perhaps after the first anniversary comes and goes...." surely then we will have closure," we think. We pray.
The reason we long for closure, of course, is because we would like to neatly seal away all of this pain. We would like to close all of the sad, confused, desperate, angry feelings out of our life. We would like to put all of this behind us. Closure. What an odd concept really, as if we could truly close the door on pain...turn the lock and throw away the key. The truth is far more complex, of course. Closure is for business deals. Closure is for real estate transactions. Closure is not for feeling or for people we love.
Closure simply does not exist emotionally, not in a pure sense. We cannot close the door on the past as if it didn't exist because, after losing someone dear to us, we never forget that person or the love we shared. And in some ways, we never entirely get over the loss. We learn to live with the loss, to integrate it into our new identity. Mine came by relying on Jesus' strength and my daily walk with Him.
Imagine if we really could end this chapter in our life, completely. It would mean losing our memories, our connections to those we love. If we really found closure, it would ironically hurt even more because the attachment would be severed. And this attachment is vital to us...the memories are treasures to be held close, not closed out.
Perhaps it is better to think in terms of healing. Yes, we can process our pain and move to deeper and deeper levels of healing... we can find ways to move on and channel our pain into productive activities. Yes, we can even learn to smile again and laugh again and love again. As Jesus said, "Blessed are they who mourn for they shall be comforted", as only He can do.
But let's not ever think that we'll close the door completely on what this loss means, for if we did that, we would unwittingly close the door on all the love that we shared. And that would truly be a loss too terrible to bear.
We can only ask our heavenly Father to grant us all we need and to trust that He will supply all these needs according to His riches in glory...Jesus died for such a time as this and so before I close I would like to share a Scripture, and that Scripture is found in John 14:1-6;
“Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know.”
Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?”
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."
Now, as we come to the end of this chapter in our lives, let us rely on the Words of Our Lord Jesus Christ and pray the Lord's Prayer together...
Our Father who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy name;
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us;
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the Kingdom, the Power and the Glory...
Erin, you will always be missed because you brought a breath of fresh air every time you entered a room..your laugh was delightful and your passion for life unlimited. We may not see your smiling face, physically, but it will always be with us. I choose to remember the happy times we had together...sleeping in a tent in my yard and the many exploits we all shared as a loving family. As I look at the state of this world, I see that we won't be separated for much longer..."Even so, come Lord Jesus"!...Linda, may the peace of Christ that passes all understanding be with you and Shannon as another year passes. Take heart...she is waiting for us all!
"Erin, I will never forget when you use to come to Nanny & Papa Harker in L'Ardoise, I loved your long, beautiful brown hair and this may sound silly and be an odd memory but the memory I remember the most is how you use to brush it, always started at the bottom and worked your way up so you would never have tangles! I still to this day, brush my hair that way. I love you so much and miss you, I wish I could have gotten to know you a bit better where I was only 6 when you were taken from all of us, I wish you could have got to meet you new little cousin, Lochlan, I feel you would have loved him, just as much as everyone else does but I'm sure you do see him and I'm also sure that you're watching over him. Once again, I love you & miss you so much.
Your cousin, Tiffany (Tiffy)"
"Linda thinking of you. She is beautiful and always will be. Hugs."
"That call I received in the middle of the night is still very vivid in my memory Erin. It was the beginning of a very big change to our family. Life has gone on as it always does after tragedy, and there have been too many in our family, but you have never left our hearts. Wish with all mine that you could be here with us and enjoying the life you so deserved. Love, aunt Sharon"
"Dearest Erin: I am sitting here this morning trying to find the words to type and am struggling. Everything that words can express has been said. To say that I miss you is a given. To express how much I love you can't be put into words. The fact that you were stolen from my life is and has been hard to come to terms with. You were a bright light in my life that was extinguished and changed who I am forever. So many times I pretended that this tragedy never happened and so many times it comes to the surface that this really did happen. You should not have left this world so young. It is difficult knowing that your hopes, dreams and desires were never fulfilled. I will never be able to get over the injustice of it all. If I could have given you the time I had left I would gladly have done so. One thing that stays constant is the love I feel for you, my beautiful rose. Some days I feel your presence and wish that you would make an appearance just one more time. I live with the hope that we will be reunited once again some day. Hoping that you are reunited with your dad and all those that have left this world to begin a new journey. Eighteen years is a long time to be separated. You have now been gone as long as you lived. How is that possible?? Strange thing, as I am typing this, there is a notice on the radio about impaired driving and the fact that it is a problem still. Some things never change! Deeply loved and missed oh so very much my little doodlebug!! Mom xoxoxo"
"Although another year has slipped by Erin I still feel it was only yesterday I got the call that took me to your mother's side to try and comfort her when you were taken from us. Many more sad events have happened in her life since then; but I think your loss has been the hardest. We all miss you so much. The family grew after you left, but now we seem to be shrinking more than growing. I wonder what your life would have been had you stayed with us. I wonder who you might have added to the family. With all my heart I wish you were here still. Love, Aunt Sharon"
"A Message to Erin:
Dearest Erin... the years since you have been gone have brought many changes to our family... some good some bad. You now have your wonderful Dad, your Aunt Myra (she will find lots for you to do"
Hey there my lil big sis!! It's one'a them days today I wish it was all a big nightmare. But that can't happen. I wish you were here every minute of every day. It doesn't get easier!! It gets HARDER!! I wish you a happy birthday. I'm sorry I don't have much to say. I miss you and I want you back!! I love you. XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX!!
"My sweet Rosebud, Erin. Thirty-six years ago on this day, after a quick delivery, we met for the first time. Oh my, what a bright little butterball you were. I awoke at 4:30 this morning with you heavy on my heart. There is no way to express how much you were loved from the minute you first moved inside of me. You were a joy to so many and loved deeply. My beautiful Rosebud had become such a radiant Rose and then you were gone. Never, ever will you be gone because you live in my heart. There you will remain until we are reunited. Remembering your contagious laugh and those warm hugs that often sustained me through so many tough times. My birthday wish for you is more for me because I wish that I could hold you and look into those beautiful blue eyes one more time. Your sister is here with me this year and that is a good thing. We are remembering you together. Happy Birthday my sweet, beautiful girl. I love and miss you now and forever. Mom xoxoxo"
"Think of you often. Your Dad must have been so excited to see you, same for Ziggy.....now Aunt Myra. So many are gone..... but I know you are safe. I worry about your Mom.....times are hard for her.....watch over her Erin. I remember you telling me you wanted to be a star when you grew up....a star in the sky...and you are ....the brightest one there."
"Really!!?? 17 years!!?? It actually creeps me out more every year to know it's been that much longer since we've seen each other!! I'mma keep sayin it... I want you back!! Yeah, yeah, I know, not possible... But that isn't gonna stop me from wishin it. We were supposed to grow old together, raise our families together... What happened to you wasn't supposed to happen!! I feel you all the time Erin. But I feel selfish, cause it leaves me wantin more. I hope it's true that in the afterlife You'se can't feel pain... Cause if it's anythin like this for you, then I don't wanna die!! I love you!! And incase ya didn't notice, I miss you like crazy!! I'll be back again to leave a note. Love always, your lil big sis, Shannon.
So, between now and then, till I see you again, I'll be lovin you,
Love me. XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX!!"
"Erin how can it be seventeen years since I last touched you. No amount of time can erase the memories, good and bad. I reflect on your life knowing that it was cut too short and wonder what might have been. I carry you in my heart every minute of every day and wish that things could be different. So much has changed since you left. I only hope that you are with your Dad and Ziggy. Your laugh fills my mind some days and a smile creeps across my face. What I would give to spend a day with you, roaming the seashore, visiting our favourite places, or just doing nothing but sitting and chatting. Although I can't physically hug or kiss you I send you my love on the wings of butterflies. Hope to receive a reply. All my love, Mom xoxoxoxo"
"Happy birthday lil big sis!! I miss you so much!! You really took a lotta me with you when you left this world!! I want you back!! I know that's not possible, but that don't stop me from Feelin that way!! You are sadly missed by many and you are special in more ways than you'll ever know!! It suck so bad that I gotta wish you your 35th birthday here!! I MISS YOU SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!! You mean the world to me Erin!! I love you with all my broken heart!! XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX!!
"Erin; the years are passing and we are all moving on in our lives; moving ever closer to being with all those that have gone before. We all hold hope that we will be together again in that world you have gone too soon to. You are often thought of and still so dearly missed. There is a corner of my heart where you reside; young and beautiful.
Love, Aunt Sharon"
"Baby girl you are with me in spirit as I sit and write this morning. It is almost the exact minute that you were born. The joy of that day is relived but now brings tears as well. My thoughts turn to what might have been. You are in my heart to carry forever. My hope is for you to know how deeply I love and miss you. My beautiful rosebud that became a beautiful rose, too beautiful for this world.
Deeply loved and missed, Mom"
"Erin you are always with me. I have been dreaming about you a lot lately. Are you trying to tell me something or is this just my deep sorrow coming to the surface once again? I love and miss you my beautiful daughter more than anyone can ever imagine. I think about the possibilities, the potential and all the love that was taken with you. There is an ache that never goes away no matter how much time has passed. Mom."
"Hello there lil big sis!! I miss you!! I wish we could all be together again!! I'm sure you'd love Kate and Giddy!! I'll always ask why... I wish you were here. I'll be back to talk again. So glad Mom made this. I love you!! XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX!!"
"Erin was born a rosebud that blossomed into a beautiful rose. Because of a selfish act she was stolen from my life. Too beautiful for this earth she shines through the heavens eternally. A wonderful daughter and more. She brought smiles and laughter to our family. There are no words to express just how much I miss my beautiful girl. One day we will be reunited again forever. Mom."
"Our sweet Erin; how we still miss you so. So many years have gone and so many family changes, but you are still in our hearts and minds. Why you were so cruelly taken from our lives we will never understand. On the wings of angels we send you loving hugs.
Aunt Sharon & Family"
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