Hi dad I miss you so much. I cry sometimes just thinking of how my life has changed since you've been gone. It's been 4 years and a couple months since you were tooken away. I used to call you and visit you, but now I can't and it breaks my heart. But you are in a place with no fighting and peace tell all my family I love them and I know you watch over me. Come in my dream if you can every dream you are in its amazing at the end we hug and you give me a kiss on the head. Also visit me if you can, find a way to communicate with me or let me see you again.

I lay awake every night just thinking of you and our life, seems so long ago we were together but my memories keep it embedded in my brain fresher than ever. I close my eyes and see your face, your beautiful eyes and smile that always took my breath away. I lay awake just thinking of you how things went and how i wish it could of been different between me and you, you was always the one ,their was no doubt, you are the shorest thing to enter my heart from the start. we had so much fun when we started out we was unseperatable without a doubt, but now your gone and i feel so alone no one to understand me or how i feel noone who talkes to me and makes me feel how you made me feel. We use to fight and make up and you know i loved you so much, i couldnt stand to see you sad, i did everything to not make you mad. i'd give anything to have you back, to hear your voice to hear your laugh, it's so hard being left behind i think about you all the time, the way you loved me unconditionally, the things we been through no one could see. you will always be my one true love no one will change that no one ever could, you made me happy, you made me sad, you made me the person that now i am, you made me strong you made me love you are the most memorable person and for that you are my number one. It's just so hard without you here seems like your not gone but in reality you are, but i know you are with me every day watching over me and watching our daughter play, i see so much of you in her it makes me happy to know i have a part of you in her. i think of you every day not one time goes by that i dont see your face, or hear a song that reminds me of you or a place we went or things we do. sometimes i wonder why i had to looses you cause not one thing makes since why i had too. i wanted you 4-ever a family too it wasn't suppost to be this way it was suppost to be me and you, ride or die is what we use to say, i just never imagined it be this way. I miss you like crazy, i miss you so bad i will never give up on what we had, i may have been forced to move on, and so did you but in our hearts we always knew it was me and you ride or die and one day my love will be together up in heaven with each other, but for now i'm ok i live this life every day, i have our daughter and i love her so much i guess if i cant have you she will help me through cause the love of my kids will carry me too. One day we will meet agin in another life we will be together agin but till then watch over me, be by my side and always catch me, i learnt to deal cause you have too but always know i'm thinking of you boo....

 I only have pictures now ...an frozen peice of time... to remind me of how it was... when you were here and mine...I see your smiling eyes... each morning when I wake...I talk to you and place a kiss... upon your handsome face...How much I miss you being here...I really cannot say...The ache is deep inside my heart... and NEVER GOSE AWAY....I hear it mentioned often...the time will heal the pain...But if I'm being honest....I hope it will remain...I need to feel you constantly.... to get me through the day...I love you sooo very much...why did you go away :( ...the angels came and took you... that really was'nt fair... they came and took my baby... As if I didnt care...If only they had ask me...If I would take your place...I would have done it willingly... leaving you this world to grace...You should have had so many years...to watch your life unfold...and in the mist of this... watching your mother growing old...I hope you are watching from above...as the daily stuff I do...and let there be no doubt at all... I REALLY DO LOVE YOU <3     I miss you baby boy <3

                                                                       

I love that Jenn <3 thank you and madison for loving my son <3 he loved you both two, I just know he did <3

ben i cant even explain how much me and madison miss you , i think of you every day you will never be forgotten in my heart or your daughters, we miss you so much and talk bout you all the time you brought a smile to our faces every time we was sad or just needed to hear your voice we miss getting to talk to you every day or when we needed you. we know you are in a heavenly place watching over us and will keep us safe, the holiday has been so hard to been thinking bout you like crazy, i just miss you so much i wish you was still here with us we need you, but like i said we know you are with our loved ones and daughter and in a better place and we will meet you agin one day inj heaven, we love you ben and always will...merry x-mas we will be thinking of you love...xoxox madison said to write on here that she misses you so much and thinks of you every day. i put your pic in her room to watch over her, we love you boo....

I don't have to say how i feel cause you already know, i don't have to tell you how my heart aches cause it showes, but i know now your in a better place, i wish it wasn't so far away that i can't see your face.Sometimes i wonder if your looking down and i hear your voice but your no were to be found.I know now your happy and never sad  and you feel no pain and have no reason to get mad. Though i loved you so much it hurt to let you go i never thought the lord would take you not now, not later, not till we got old. Though i look at madison and see your eyes she reminds me of you so much sometimes i could cry. She is so beautiful,so smart,so polite,she is charming and funny and you and me combined. I know your not here to se her grow,to give her away when she gets old,to tell her you love her and it'll be alright, but deep inside in my heart i know she knows these things inside. I can't believe that you are gone, but in my heart you'll always live on. So till the day we meet agin, i'll never forget you, you was my true love and my best friend...R.I.P.