ForeverMissed
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Commemoration of your passing 15 years ago...this Saturday

September 14, 2016

You never said I am leaving,
You never had time to say goodbye,
You were gone, alone, before we knew it
And only Almighty God knows the true reason.

A million times I needed you, my beloved,
A million times i cried for you, your affection.
If my love for you could have saved you
You never would have died ... be brutally killed.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I still love you and cherish your memory...
In my heart I hold a special place
That only you, dearest Fritzo, can fill.


Tu me manques toujours

December 17, 2014

Dans le vent qui, doucement, murmure ton amour pour moi,

dans la pluie fine qui mouille agreablement mes joues,

dans les nuages qui me montrent ton profil

et le soleil qui rechauffe mon coeur toujours meurtri;

dans les couchers de soleil qui, dans leur beaute,

me redonnent un brin d'espoir et le chant de mes oiseaux

qui m'accompagne dans cette penible traversee;

dans les nuits qui, grace a mes reves, me permettent

de te revoir, de te parler... l'illusion de pouvoir te toucher;

dans les lieux ou nous avons partage des moments precieux,

tant de souvenirs immemorables ...

Grace a tout cela je te sens toujours present, a mes cotes.

Et pourtant, malgre tout, tu me manques tant.

 

Still Miss You

October 14, 2014

My heart still aches every day

with sadness and the void you left

and many, many tears still flow.

What it meant to lose you, live without you,

no one will ever know nor comprehend...

I hold you close, stuck deep in my heart

and there you will remain forever.

To walk with me, give me strength and resilience

to face deceits, disrespects, all challenges

throughout the rest of my life...

Until we meet again, soon, very soon.

R I P my beloved son.

Histoire d'amour

September 19, 2014

Tu me manques tard dans la nuit, tu me manques tres tot le matin,

tu me manques quand tout est triste autour de moi, tu me manques

quand la joie et le bonheur sont retrouves. Tu me manques quand le

jour se leve et tu me manques autant quand le soleil se couche et que

tombe la nuit...Mais la mort n'est pas la fin de notre histoire d'amour...

Je t'appelle, je crie ton nom, je te parle car tu fais partie de tout ce que

je fais, de tout ce que je suis. Je t'appelle, je crie ton nom, je te parle

car tu as ete, tu es et seras toujours le fruit de mes entrailles.

Je t'aime et t'aimerai toujours, notre histoire d'amour n'a pas de fin.

Forever missed, forever love ...

January 7, 2014

I am grateful for your life

Even as I mourn your death;

I laugh at the memories

Even as I cry for those not made.

I recognize the beauty of life

Even as I experience its uglyness.

I embrace hope and joy

Even as my heart breaks ...

I LIVE ...

Even as I grieve.                          
                                            (Healing Hugs)

December 23, 2013

You never had time to say I am leaving,
You never had time to say goodbye.
You were gone before we knew it,
And, up to now, only God knows why.

A million times I needed you, so do your kids;
A million times I miss you, so do your kids.
If love alone - our love - could have saved you
You never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly, so did your kids;
In death I love you still, so do your kids.
In my heart, and in theirs, there's a special place
That only You can fill... Forever present with us...

Your mother who misses you so much                         

Goodbye ! (June 22,2013)

June 24, 2013

"I wish I could go back to the day
When angels came and took you away.
I wanted to hold your hands so tight,
Kiss you gently and say goodbye...
And then before you had to go
I would tell you how much I love you so...
I can't accept it as I don't know why
I never got a chance to kiss you goodbye.."


N.B.11 years and 9 months ago - on a saturday afternoon,
like today - we all gathered to take you to your resting place.          

We Remember our Negus

April 3, 2013

If tears could build a stairway
and memories were a lane,
we would walk all the way to heaven
to bring you home again.
No farewell words were spoken,
no time to say goodbye,
you were gone before we knew it
and only God knows why...
Our hearts ache in sadness
and secret tears still flow...
what is meant to lose you
No one will ever know...

RIP dearest, beloved son

April 3, 2013

Papa, today is your birthday, and i havent got the words to describe what im feeling. i love you so much and its incredible how much it still hurts even after almost 12 yrs! you were the only person who understood me, the only one i could really relate to. we never argued not even disagreed! i know you love me, even tho youre not here i still love you more and more each day. you know its true what they say. " the heart keeps memories for a thousand years" and mine will dad. i love you forever and i wish you a really lovely birthday wherever you are! R.I.P dad

                                                love,    
                                                        Yann

Since you departed

February 4, 2013

Every day without you, since you had to go,
Is like summer without sunshine,
and winter without cold and snow.
I wish I could talk to you, so much to say...
Life has changed a great deal since you went away,
No more hugs and kisses, no signs of affection;
I miss the bond between us, the frank conversation,
I miss your kind support, your tender attentions...
You are in my mind and in my heart,
every day, morning and night,even in my sleep;
I always feel you so close to me,
I search for you among the stars
Every night, and specially on your birthday,
On Christmas and New Year, waiting for a sign,
A long wave and a warm kiss of goodbye...
                                               With all my love, RIP My Negus

ANOTHER CHRISTMAS WITHOUT YOU

December 27, 2012

Every day without you, since you had to go,
Is like summer without sunshine and winter without snow.
I wish I could talk to you, there's so much I would say...
Life has changed so much since you went away.
I miss the bond between us and I miss your kind support,
I miss your friendship and kindness, your relentless comfort.
You are always in my mind and in my broken heart
and in my every day and every Christmas tought.
I always feel you so close to me
and,  though you are far from my sight,
I feel you, I feel your hugs and embraces,
I always feel you so present, so close to me...
Every night I search for you among the stars,
You are my star, my light specially on Christmas night.
Rest in Peace my Angel, my Beloved Son.

Merci mon Negus

April 3, 2012

Je te dis aujourd'hui tout ce qui n'a pu t'etre dit,
les evenements tragiques t'ayant brusquement ravi;
je veux te dire merci, mille fois merci,mon fils cheri,
tu m'as tant donne,la joie de te parler, de te sentir,
tes mouvements dans mon sein me faisaient fremir
Le bonheur incomparable, malgre de longues souffrances,
d'entendre tes premiers vagissements...quelle jouissance!
La joie de te voir grandir,de t'avoir pres de moi,avec moi.
la tristesse de te voir partir pour tes etudes a l'etranger...
Je savais que je perdais deja un peu de toi,dure absence,
et quelle fierte de revoir le bel homme qui m'etait retourne.
Je restais convaincue que nous ferions de tres belles choses,
nous avions connu la maladie,la douleur de tragiques separations,
helas! c'etait compter sans certains,leur horrible,inique trahison...
Aujourd'hui,jour de ton anniversaire,je prends une petite pause.
le temps de te dire que je t'aime, ne cesserai jamais de t'aimer;
le temps de te dire merci,merci pour ton amour et tes attentions,
merci pour ton incessante tendresse,mon fils,mon ami,mon Negus.

Happy BD

April 3, 2012

Today on your BD, I won't be able to call you and tell you I love you, and that hurts so very much. I wanted you to know that the other night I was sure heard your voice, not mine coming out of my mouth. That you were telling me something. You will always be here Dad, and also for everyone else who loved you. While I miss you terribly, I know you are still with me. I write you this message for you birthday today through tears of pain and sorrow, but also through tears of love and hope. I will always love you Dad, and that love will keep you alive in my heart. See you someday. Your loving son, Yann

Priere pour le Nouvel An (01/01/02)

December 31, 2011

Premier jour de l'annee,

Jour de joie, jour d'allegresse,

Aujourd'hui cette nouvelle annee

S'annonce grisatre, pleine de detresse.

En ce premier jour de nouvel an,

Je prie ardemment pour enfin retrouver

Force, courage, et de l'amour tous les elans

De sagesse, de tendresse et de bonte.

Pour ma fille et tous mes petits enfants,

Mon Fils je t'adresse cette unique priere,

Sois pour moi le guide, le conseiller,

Qui me conduira bientot vers la lumiere,

Sur le chemin de la paix et la serenite.

Une parcelle de vie

December 15, 2011

Si Dieu t'accordait une parcelle, une petite parcelle de vie,

je dormirais peu, je veillerais constamment sur toi;

si Dieu t'accordait quelques mois,non quelques annees de plus

je t'entourerais quand les autres sont pris ailleurs,

non, je t'entourerais meme s'ils sont presents,

je veillerais constamment sur toi meme endormi

Si Dieu te faisait cadeau d'un peu,un tout petit peu de vie

je n'hesiterais pas a te faire part de mes profonds sentiments,

je te dirais et redirais tout mon amour, mon admiration pour toi.

Si seulement,ce dimanche,je savais que je ne te reverrais plus,

que je te parlais,te touchais,t'embrassais pour la derniere fois,

je t'aurais dit et redit combien je t'aime,combien tu me combles,

me combles de tendresse et d'affection,d'amour et d'attention,

Et je serais repartie avec toi et t'aurais garde comme a ta naissance.

Si seulement je savais que nous passions  nos derniers moments,

j'aurais hurle mon amour pour toi,crie mon desespoir de vivre sans toi,

Et je serais repartie avec toi et t'aurais cajole comme a ta naissance

Pardonne-moi mon fils de n'avoir rien vu, de n'avoir rien compris,

je t'aurais dit et redit, mon fils cheri, combien je t'aime, tu es moi...

Si Dieu te donnait une parcelle, une petite parcelle de vie,

je te dirais tout cela, sans retenue, sans contrainte, tout  mon emoi,,

mon chagrin et ma profonde tristesse de vivre sans toi, mon Fritzo.

 

 

 

 

Un Noel Different

December 5, 2011

Noel n'est pas une vraie fete pour moi,

Noel charrie tristesse, noire culpabilite.

Qu'est Noel pour tous ceux qui n'ont pas,

Comme moi, la chance de la celebrer?

Noel, depuis dix ans,est supplice pour moi,

Difficile Noel sans toi, mon fils tant aime.

Encore plus de tristesse, plus d'emotivite,

Terrible melange de chagrin, de desarroi,

Supplantant mon desir de vivre la joie

De mes enfant et petits enfants si contents,

Si heureux...Je m'en veux de ne pas participer.

Noel,cette annee encore, et tous ceux a venir

Seront toujours cet amalgame de joies et chagrins;

Noel,cette annee encore, et tous ceux a venir

Seront toujours ce melange de gaiete et de regret

De tes rires et boutades, tes reparties au couperet...

Noel sera a jamais, pour moi, joie,tristesse et chagrin,

Comment vraiment feter sans mon fils, mon copain?

Comment celebrer Noel sans toi, mon complement?

Sans toi, mon Fritzo,Noel sera toujours different.

L'Inoubliable Absent

December 3, 2011

Dix ans, deux mois et quinze jours

Depuis que tu es parti pour toujours.

A jamais endeuilles nous pleurons ton depart,

Toi Fritzo, le rieur, le plaisant, le bon gaillard.

L'omnipresent fils, confident, complice et ami,

l'infatigable frere,oncle,pere de cette "dynastie"

que nous avions batie dans la joie et le malheur.

Compreds-tu, mon fis, notre enorme douleur?

Ton depart inattendu n'a cree que chagrin et chaos,

Tu n'as pas compris le cynisme de ces gens faux...

Ton absence fragilise notre force, notre stabilite;

notre tour, ensemble erigee, est desormais felee.

A SORROW LIKE NO OTHER

November 19, 2011

Today we are still sharing

Memories of your life and its ending.

Today we are still remembering

Days of hopes,laughters and screams,

Days of gathering, wining,dancing.

Today, ten years later, we are grieving

Your tragic death and shattered dreams.

Today, ten years later, we are searching,

Still proding real causes of such horrific act.

Today we are all yearning, deeply hoping

For watercolors rainbows and new tomorrows.

We are overwhelmed by everending sorrows,

But we all share the unreachable dream

Of new found hopes,new joyful beginnings,

For the future renewed sound expectations

Built from yesterday, on your true affection.

Yon Sel Badio

November 17, 2011

Lakataw fe taw nan ginen tande

Lakataw fe taw moun pran rele

Anmwe o sa ki pase

Anmwe o sa ki rive...

Kote gwo male pendye sa a soti,

Koman gwo potorik gason sa a mouri?

Bondie papa ki san'n pral di

Se li, manman li, pitit gason li...

Anmwe gran met la, bondie papa

Ban nou bon jan fos ak kouray,

Ban nou anpil lodas ak ekleray

Pou nou ka bay gwo koze sila a.

Lendi matin17septem sa'a

Mwen pataka tande ni kompran

Vye pawol san sans, zac san manman

Yo tap seye di mwen, eksplike mwen.

Lendi matin 17 septem sa'a

Jou gwo male, jou madichon,

M'pedi yon gwo potorik gason,

M'pedi yon sel badio mwen,

M'pedi moytie zantray mwen...

The Aftermath

November 12, 2011

On that fateful Monday

None of us was left unscathed.

Such a horrendous act paved the way

of everlasting pains, grief open ended.

September 17, this unexpected tragedy

will forever be carved in our memory.

Profound disbelief, endless prodding

of this senseless, unexplained death,

 that knocked us all down, speechless totally.

Rude, awful,undesired and tough awakening

to a new reality, of hope and joy totally bereft.

We must strive and rise from this  horrific shock,

astounded and bereaved by horror, despair and pain,

as if engulfed by the crumbling of a massive rock...

Yes  we will endure and grieve, but we'll try again.

Let's regroup to discard hatred,revenge or bitterness,

they are not the cure for anger,sadness and sorrow;

hatred confuses live, love brings brightness,

hatred is darkness,love illuminates tomorrow.

We've lost a son, a father, a brother, a unique person,

we still have faith, we still love our beloved companion,

we will, one day, overcome his brutal bloodshed.

Pourquoi je t'aime

November 11, 2011

Je voudrais te dire pourquoi je t'aime tant,

pouvoir t'expliquer comment tu fais vibrer mon coeur;

Je voudrais te dire pourquoi je t'aimais tant,

que ta vie pour nous fut un doux cantique

dont les moindres accents touchaient nos coeurs.

Pour nous tu fus fils, pere, frere et oncle unique,

chaque instant avec toi fut printemps plein de fleurs.

Je voudrais te redire pourquoi je t'aime tant,

que rien ne peut eteindre le feu de mon amour.

Desormais je ne crains ni souffrance, ni tourment,

tant immense est la peine de ta perte, mon enfant.

Mais je le sais, je te reverrai sur la rive celeste, un jour...

Alors, a l'aube de cette nouvelle vie, a l'horizon infini,

plus rien ,ni personne, ne pourra plus nous separer.

Avec toi,en ce temps,j'entendrai cette douce harmonie

et alors je te dirai combien tu nous a manques,

et,sans cesse, je te chanterai pourquoi je t'aime tant.

Mort, desesperance et espoir.

November 11, 2011

La force des espoirs,des reves et aspirations

souleve de ces longs mois la  lourde poussiere,

bouleversant en un moment ciel et terre,mon univers,

eveillant soudain revoltes, chagrins et emotions.

Sur les hauteurs, de la brume fine et insidieuse,

emergent tantot confusion, tantot lucidite et bonte,

le tout emaille de coleres, de pardons, de serenite,

supprimant pour un temps pleurs et plaintes douloureuses.

Au fil de ces longs mois la vie repose,

son chemin s'infiltre dans les longues et tristes nuits.

et meme les jours, a l'aube et souvent en plein midi,

au fil de ce long temps la vie s'impose.

La vie tient a revenir, tenace elle revient...

La ou se cachent  lamentations et larmes ameres

dans les tenebres, en plein soleil, dans la lumiere,

au fil de ce long temps la vie revient sournoisement.

Mais tu es toujours la, a l'aube,le jour,la nuit, omnipresent...

My Prayer

October 21, 2011

Since you have left us, dearest son,

I pray to have the strength to carry on,

the courage to get up daily and try again,

the patience and serenity to keep trying

when I feel lost if things go wrong.

I pray to have the chance to reach out,

to have and share the hope of a new dream,

the hope of better tomorrows, new beginnings.

 

 

mamy rey

September 30, 2011
quand la nuit s'etale et que la derniere bougie va s'eteindre j'ouvre la porte pour voir scintiller ton etoile, tu en as une que j'ai choisie, qui est toi et chaque soir avant de m'endormir je lui parle, je te parle; je te redis mon amour, ma solitude et ma desesperance sans toi, je, te demande pardon, pardon de ne t'avoir pas extirpe de ce guepier, pardon de n'avoir pas compris, de ne pas t'avoir assez aime, de ne pas su te dire combien je t'aime. ce soir-la tu m'as parle avec ton afection, ta tendresse habituels, ce soir-la tu m'as dit: nous sommes depuis quelque temps separes toi et moi mais nous nous reverrons un jour,nous ne sommes pas assis l'un a cote de l'autre, tes mains dans les miennes mais nous sommes toujours ensemble. tu ne peux sentir mon souffle qui s'echappe ou la chaude vapeur de mon parfum, mais la-bas au loin, tres loin, je peux au moins t'entendre et te redonner force et courage; notre dialogue a ete interrompu mais notre amour perdure. en cette heure folle, rendue folle, j'avais plein de questions, tant de reponses a te reclamer, mais l'etoile a file au loin, tres loin, a l'horizon... alors j'ai compris que notre dialogue interrompu nous le poursuivrons un jour, que moi ici et toi la-bas nous nous aimons toujours, plus fort, toujours plus fort; qu'en attendant de te rejoindre ma vie se pose et je continuerai  de ramasser ca et la des morceaux de mots prononces, des rires entendus et des attentions passees.

J'ai fait un reve

September 27, 2011

J'ai fait un reve, un tres beau reve.

Tu es entre dans ma chambre, au petit matin,

tu t'es assis sur mon lit, tout pres de moi.

Tu m'as embrassee, tu as souri avec moi,

clignant des yeux avec ton petit air malin,

tu m'as prise dans tes bras et tu m'as dit

"Regarde moi bien, je suis en pleine forme,

je suis detendu et serein et je me rejouis

d'etre avec Dieu dans ce lieu uniforme

ou il n'y  a ni jeunes, ni vieux, ni envieux,

ou il n'y a ni disputes ni mesquineries..."

J'ai fait un reve, un tres beau reve,

tu m'as dit que tu pries pour nous tous,

que tu penses a nous chaque jour, sans cesse,

que nous devons etre forts, sans aucune faiblesse.

Dans ce reve, ce tres beau reve,

tu m'as parle, tu m'as dit toute la verite

tu m'as consolee, tu m'as embrassee.

Et tu es parti souriant, sur la pointe des pieds,

en me disant "pense a ma soeur et a mes trois enfants,

pense a mes neveux et nieces, pense au present..."

Et tu es parti en me promettant de revenir.

"je reviendrai manm, manm cherie,

sois forte, cesse de pleurer.."

Forever soulmates

September 19, 2011

As a close knit and private family we have accompanied you and observed you traveling so quietly on your path of life. Nobody could stop you from dreaming and living your dreams. Indeed you have lived them with passion, grace and style and with undeterred commitments. In spite of bumps and bruises, even deceits, you kept dreaming and we were privileged to always be by your side.

All your life, in good and bad times, we stood together and thru it all we have loved each other, beyond comprehension, beyond imagination.

You were so many things to so many people, to each and everyone of us in the family, but to me you were just my beloved son and my buddy.

You will never leave my thoughts, we were and we still are ultimate soulmates.

I will forever miss you, unforgettable son.

 

The Chance

September 17, 2011

The Chance

I didn't get to see you before you left,
Didn't get to say my good bye's,
didn't get to hug you and kiss you good night,
didn't get to tell you how much I was proud to have you as a father,
didn't get the chance to tell you I was sorry for being stupid sometimes,
I won't get to dance with you at my wedding,
and you wont get a chance to see your grandchildren,
and I wont get the chance to say I love you one more time.
I wish I could have those chances,
but I am glad to have had the chance of having a father like you.
Thank you Dad!  I love you and miss you. No words can even begin to express how much you are missed.

In Memoriam Fritzo

September 17, 2011

"Fais de ton chagrin un chant d'amour pour ne plus savoir que tu souffres"

Un jour a la fois, cela suffit, c'est assez. Ne regarde pas derriere toi, ne

t'attardes pas sur le passe. Ne pleure pas ce qui a ete, tes larmes ne vont

rien changer. Apaise ton desespoir, seche tes pleurs en pensant toujours

a l'etre tant aime, au bonheur qu'il t'a toujours donne. Alors ton chagrin et

ta profonde douleur deviendront hymnes a sa vie, a votre amour, celebration

de sa bonte,de sa generosite, chaque jour, pour toujours.

...

September 17, 2011


It’s been ten years since my dad passed away I was only 16 at the time and had the best relationship with him.  I still feel the same pain now that I felt back then, it feels like it was just yesterday. You are my hero, my protector, my teacher. You are my father and I love you dearly. I miss you here on Earth, but, I know that one day we will be together again on a new journey. You helped me through this life, from the time I was born till the day you left and died to this world. So many years ago you left us Papa. That was a sad day for me and everyone else. Years, yet it seems like just a short while ago I sat with you and we talked of our joys in life, cars, guns, everything. But one thing I forgot to tell you was how much I love you and what you mean to me. I LOVE YOU DAD. The older I get, the more I realize just how much you gave me. You taught me how to be proud of myself, but, also how to be humble. You taught me to reach out to others, how to pay attention to my creative side as well as my logic. I learned how to appreciate music and how important writing is to express my feelings, goals and joys. You taught me that all people are the same in God's eyes and that love is the greatest of all things. You gave me courage to try new things. You gave me the knowledge that to fail only means another door to a better opportunity has opened. You are still teaching me in ways that come up through memories. Every Father's Day, your Birthday, Christmas, no matter how busy the day is, I always find the time and the place to be alone, to say a prayer for you and to thank you for all you have given me. Thank you, Dad for being there for me. I love you.

Bereavement can last a life time, although eventually it goes to a quieter place. Love never dies it grows stronger as the years go by. I lost my father 10 years ago and I still miss him. The pain of loss has gradually been replaced by joy in remembering how much he loved life, Nature, animals, people, his family, friends and me. Not a day goes by that I do not thank him for all the little things and all the great things he taught me. When I find joy in anything, I thank my father. I love you PAPA and I miss you so much.

Love always and forever, your son, YANN

September 16, 2011

     If tears could build a stairway and memories were a lane, we would walk all the way to Heaven, to bring you home again.  No farewell words were spoken, no time to say goodbye, you were gone before we knew it, and only God knows why.  Our hearts ache in sadness, and secret tears will flow.  What is meant to lose you, no one will ever know.

     Forever in our hearts,

Karen

September 16, 2011

 The moment that you died
my heart was torn in two,
one side filled with heartache,
the other died with you.
I often lie awake at night,
when the world is fast asleep,
and take a walk down memory lane,
with tears upon my cheeks.
Remembering you is easy,
I do it everyday,
but missing you is heartache
that never goes away.
I hold you tightly within my heart
and there you will remain.

September 16, 2011

 Little did we know that morning
 God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
in death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
but you did not go alone. 
For part of us went with you,
the day God called you home.
You left us peaceful memories,
your love is still our guide.
And though we cannot see you,
you are always by our side.
Our family chain is broken
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.

to me youre more then that

September 12, 2011

 

A Dad is a person who is loving and kind and often he knows what u have on your mind. He’s someone who listens, suggests and defends. A dad can be one of your very best friends, he's proud of your triumphs but when things go wrong a dad can be patient and helpful and strong in all that u do, a dad’s love plays a part. There’s always a place for him deep in your heart and each year that passes you’re even more glad more grateful and proud just to call him your dad. I miss u DAD and I love u.

No words I write can ever say how much I miss you every day. As time goes by, the loneliness grows; how I miss you, nobody knows. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name but all I have are memories and photos in a frame. No one knows my sorrow, no one sees me weep but the love I have for you is in my heart to keep. I've never stopped loving you I'm sure I never will. Deep inside my heart, you’re with me still. Heartaches in this world are many but mine is worse than any. My heart still aches as I whisper low, "I need you and I miss you." The things we feel so deeply are often the hardest to say, but I just can't keep quiet any more so I'll tell you anyway. There is a place in my heart that no one else can fill; I love you papa, and I always will.

love always,

yann

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