Dad, I miss you. More than words can say. I never was able to picture my life without you; not yet. I couldn't imagine what it would be like; without you here. Not going seeing you at birthdays or on weekends anymore or even at my wedding day. Now I'm forced to live this way. Sometimes it's hard to picture things. And then you're forced to. And more than three years later....and you're still not ready to let go. I will never be ready to let go. They say the days get better and the pain goes away eventually. False. It never goes away, you just learn how to live with it. If I could just have one more hug; one more kiss; one more father-daughter dance; or even just one last call to say my proper goodbye. I feel your presense all around me;yet, no where near me. I want you to come back. I want this to all just me a dream. The most painful thing right now is going to a friend's sweet 16 and see them dance with their father... I can't help but tear up. It brings me back to that night. I called you. And you didn't answer... But you ALWAYS answered... you didn't call back. I didn't think anything of it... I just waited...and waited. Until, the next day when I found out you had passed away... I wasn't ready. I'm still not ready. I will never be ready. How do you say goodbye to someone that you don't want to loose, who has always been there. How do you say goodbye to someone you didn't know was leaving.The only thing I can be thankful for is the last thing I said to you in person. Something I didn't say for a really long time. That I never said first. Except for then. Maybe I haven't even said it for years.... "I love you."