December 17, 2022
December 17, 2022
Six years ago, our family lost one of the most special people in the world. Our son Harley was given a lethal dose of fentanyl and cocaine. Today, marks 6 years that we have only been able to hold him in our hearts...
Please light a candle for him, and if you have any fireworks left, light them off for Harley to see!!!
I love you Harley!!! May you rest peacefully!!!
Harley Falta July 23, 1990 - December 17, 2016
My open Letter to all the dealers selling drugs that kill!!!
I am writing this letter to the person who consumed so many of my thoughts over this past 6 years now,, leaving me with so much built up anger, wonder and questions. The truth is, other than the person who bought the drugs and gave them to my son on purpose, I have absolutely no idea who you are, I wouldn’t know you from a picture, or by the sound of your voice, and I also don’t know anything about you. I don’t know why you do what you do. Is it because you like to prey on the lost, broken or wounded people to make quick cash? Are you somehow unable to get a real job, or are you just to lazy, so you do this to pay your way through life? Or are you one of the lost, broken or wounded people yourself, who is selling to support your next fix, and you just don’t care how or what you have to do to get it? Do you have a family of your own at home? Did you know my Son Harley well, or was he just another customer? Anyways, all these questions are irrelevant and mean nothing to me at the end of the day, the only question I would like an answer to is Why?????
Why did you play such a cruel trick on someone that I loved with all my heart? To you he may have been, or looked like just another worthless user and bank roll, but to me, he was my baby Son Harley. You took him away from us at the age of 26, just so you could cut your drugs and spread them out a little further? If it wasn’t for you he would still be here today. You knew when you passed him those drugs that he would overdose. I know, you didn’t force him to take that last dose, and you are not the root the his addictions. That is not what this is about, my Son Harley was far from perfect, and he made a lot of mistakes in life, and lied to a lot of people in order to fuel his addictions, but at the end of the day he didn’t deserve to die like that! No one does! He thought you sold him a totally different drug, one he knew all to well, one he knew his tolerance to. It is a fact that it is very rare for a regular addict to overdose on their drug of choice, unless they get clean, and go back to use again thinking they have the same tolerance. It was intentional, or they buy from a slim piece of shit dealer like you! You sold my Son Harley Fentanyl mixed with a tiny amount of Cocaine! You knew when he walked away that he was going to overdose, because there is no way, that even a regular fentanyl user could survive using the amount he thought he could tolerate. How could you trick him like that, and watch him walk off alone without giving any warning? What you did was like selling a starving person a delicious meal loaded with deadly poison. Sure you’re not the one that starved them, but you’re the one that tricked them into buying and eating your poison, leading to their death.
I wonder if you noticed he was dead, and knew what had happened before anyone else. I got a knock at my door, just two days before my younger son Torin’s birthday, who was very excited about the fact that he was going to see his older brother later that day. But, it was the police, and they came in and took a massive piece of my heart. I broke down screaming and crying, I just wanted it to be some bad dream that I would wake up from. I don’t know how any of this will make you feel if you ever find this letter and read it, but I do know, I want you to know how it made me feel, and what you took away.
I remember two of the things that stuck with me the most out of everything, was seeing him and touching him in his coffin. He did not look like my little boy!! And then the fact that I found out Harley had not only been physically and emotionally abused by his birth father, but he had also been sexually abused by him!!! I cried so hard when I was told that, because I had absolutely NO idea. Harley Never told me or Dad. This was now embedded in my head forever.. the way it is stuck with me. I lay awake every-night, with that picture of my Son Harley in my head. No one should ever die like my son did. If only you knew how much he was loved, and how hard I tried, and I was continuing to try day after day to help him and keep him safe. All I ever wanted was what was best for him, and for him to finally have a good, happy and healthy life. He was so young and still would have had his whole life ahead of him if I could have finally helped him shake this horrible disease. That will never happen anymore because you took that away from him with no remorse.
My Son Harley loved kids so much, and he had so much fun when he was around them, he was like a big kid himself, and his innocence would really shine through. He didn’t really want to be a father yet, but now, he doesn’t even get that chance to choose anymore. I will never get to be a Grandmother to his children. I won’t get to watch him on his wedding day. You took all of this away from us. I see so much of him in Ken and Torin, and it breaks my heart that he won’t be around to see Torin continue to grow up, and become the incredible man that he has turned out to be, and be a big uncle to Mr. Hunter. He won’t be here for me when life is fucked up, and I just need my Son Harley there to talk to. I miss all of his silly ways, and his giggle and smirk and the way he knew exactly how and what to say to pick at me, and get me going, all things I never thought I would be saying, I miss.
I do thank all the friends that Harley has!!! We now have a new family of his friends. We are Grandparents to 2 of his best friends children, and Harley-Quinn was so lovingly named after Harley. Thank you K for that!!! I just wish Harley had the chance to meet these amazing children!!! He would have loved them to death!!!
Most of the time when I think of him I try to focus on and see the innocent boy I knew before the addictions started. You didn’t know that side of my Son Harley. You didn’t know the loving, caring and happy guy that I knew and loved. Did you think about any of this after you made the exchange? Why couldn’t you have at least said something like, those are stronger drugs then you’re used too make sure that you be careful and definitely don’t use alone. But you didn’t, now my memories and thoughts of my Son Harley are clouded with flashes of him dying, all because some greedy piece of shit dealer sold him a lie and you killed him. How does it feel to get away with murder? How many more are there that you have killed, and how many more will there have to be before you realize what you have done and continue to do? What if that was your loved one?
I have been writing this letter bit by bit to you all, adding a bit every year as I feel needs to be added... I feel it is a good idea for me to share this because I really need to get this all off my chest to take a step forward and try to move on.
Whether or not you ever see this, it makes me feel better to
let it all out. Some days I wish, I knew who you were, and that I could put a face to the person who got away with killing my Son Harley, but I really think it’s for the best that I don’t know you. Karma will get you one day, I just know it, and I think in time you will pay for what it is that you do. I have no forgiveness in my heart for pieces of shit like you, and I never will. It takes a special kind of person, to make a profit from those suffering everyday with addictions, and mental health issues. They are broken and lost, and they need help, people who care for them, but you do the complete opposite, you sell them their death. I wonder if you see all the lost souls, and beautiful faces in the paper, of these young people that you have taken away. If only you could see how much they were loved, and the pain you caused for others even beyond their deaths, a lifetime of heartache. I don’t know how you live with yourself!
I am also sharing this letter, because I don’t want this Fentanyl epidemic to take my Son Harley ’s life as just another statistic for the records! I hope this will open even just one person’s eyes about how serious this really is, maybe it will encourage someone to try and get clean so this doesn’t happen to them, or maybe it will cause a dealer to think twice about ever doing this to anyone else. I will continue to raise awareness, by telling my Son Harley’s story and not being afraid to talk about addiction and mental health issues. I hope more people will get educated on these topics, and that we can all work together to save some lives.
From, The broken heart of a grieving Mom. I Love you My Harles!!!
Please share and let others know how Fentanyl ruins the lives of soo many family members, Mom, Dad, Torin, Nana, Oma, Auntie Edith, Uncle Darren, Cousin Hunter, and everyone else that was touched by Harley!!!!
Noreena...
Please light a candle for him, and if you have any fireworks left, light them off for Harley to see!!!
I love you Harley!!! May you rest peacefully!!!
Harley Falta July 23, 1990 - December 17, 2016
My open Letter to all the dealers selling drugs that kill!!!
I am writing this letter to the person who consumed so many of my thoughts over this past 6 years now,, leaving me with so much built up anger, wonder and questions. The truth is, other than the person who bought the drugs and gave them to my son on purpose, I have absolutely no idea who you are, I wouldn’t know you from a picture, or by the sound of your voice, and I also don’t know anything about you. I don’t know why you do what you do. Is it because you like to prey on the lost, broken or wounded people to make quick cash? Are you somehow unable to get a real job, or are you just to lazy, so you do this to pay your way through life? Or are you one of the lost, broken or wounded people yourself, who is selling to support your next fix, and you just don’t care how or what you have to do to get it? Do you have a family of your own at home? Did you know my Son Harley well, or was he just another customer? Anyways, all these questions are irrelevant and mean nothing to me at the end of the day, the only question I would like an answer to is Why?????
Why did you play such a cruel trick on someone that I loved with all my heart? To you he may have been, or looked like just another worthless user and bank roll, but to me, he was my baby Son Harley. You took him away from us at the age of 26, just so you could cut your drugs and spread them out a little further? If it wasn’t for you he would still be here today. You knew when you passed him those drugs that he would overdose. I know, you didn’t force him to take that last dose, and you are not the root the his addictions. That is not what this is about, my Son Harley was far from perfect, and he made a lot of mistakes in life, and lied to a lot of people in order to fuel his addictions, but at the end of the day he didn’t deserve to die like that! No one does! He thought you sold him a totally different drug, one he knew all to well, one he knew his tolerance to. It is a fact that it is very rare for a regular addict to overdose on their drug of choice, unless they get clean, and go back to use again thinking they have the same tolerance. It was intentional, or they buy from a slim piece of shit dealer like you! You sold my Son Harley Fentanyl mixed with a tiny amount of Cocaine! You knew when he walked away that he was going to overdose, because there is no way, that even a regular fentanyl user could survive using the amount he thought he could tolerate. How could you trick him like that, and watch him walk off alone without giving any warning? What you did was like selling a starving person a delicious meal loaded with deadly poison. Sure you’re not the one that starved them, but you’re the one that tricked them into buying and eating your poison, leading to their death.
I wonder if you noticed he was dead, and knew what had happened before anyone else. I got a knock at my door, just two days before my younger son Torin’s birthday, who was very excited about the fact that he was going to see his older brother later that day. But, it was the police, and they came in and took a massive piece of my heart. I broke down screaming and crying, I just wanted it to be some bad dream that I would wake up from. I don’t know how any of this will make you feel if you ever find this letter and read it, but I do know, I want you to know how it made me feel, and what you took away.
I remember two of the things that stuck with me the most out of everything, was seeing him and touching him in his coffin. He did not look like my little boy!! And then the fact that I found out Harley had not only been physically and emotionally abused by his birth father, but he had also been sexually abused by him!!! I cried so hard when I was told that, because I had absolutely NO idea. Harley Never told me or Dad. This was now embedded in my head forever.. the way it is stuck with me. I lay awake every-night, with that picture of my Son Harley in my head. No one should ever die like my son did. If only you knew how much he was loved, and how hard I tried, and I was continuing to try day after day to help him and keep him safe. All I ever wanted was what was best for him, and for him to finally have a good, happy and healthy life. He was so young and still would have had his whole life ahead of him if I could have finally helped him shake this horrible disease. That will never happen anymore because you took that away from him with no remorse.
My Son Harley loved kids so much, and he had so much fun when he was around them, he was like a big kid himself, and his innocence would really shine through. He didn’t really want to be a father yet, but now, he doesn’t even get that chance to choose anymore. I will never get to be a Grandmother to his children. I won’t get to watch him on his wedding day. You took all of this away from us. I see so much of him in Ken and Torin, and it breaks my heart that he won’t be around to see Torin continue to grow up, and become the incredible man that he has turned out to be, and be a big uncle to Mr. Hunter. He won’t be here for me when life is fucked up, and I just need my Son Harley there to talk to. I miss all of his silly ways, and his giggle and smirk and the way he knew exactly how and what to say to pick at me, and get me going, all things I never thought I would be saying, I miss.
I do thank all the friends that Harley has!!! We now have a new family of his friends. We are Grandparents to 2 of his best friends children, and Harley-Quinn was so lovingly named after Harley. Thank you K for that!!! I just wish Harley had the chance to meet these amazing children!!! He would have loved them to death!!!
Most of the time when I think of him I try to focus on and see the innocent boy I knew before the addictions started. You didn’t know that side of my Son Harley. You didn’t know the loving, caring and happy guy that I knew and loved. Did you think about any of this after you made the exchange? Why couldn’t you have at least said something like, those are stronger drugs then you’re used too make sure that you be careful and definitely don’t use alone. But you didn’t, now my memories and thoughts of my Son Harley are clouded with flashes of him dying, all because some greedy piece of shit dealer sold him a lie and you killed him. How does it feel to get away with murder? How many more are there that you have killed, and how many more will there have to be before you realize what you have done and continue to do? What if that was your loved one?
I have been writing this letter bit by bit to you all, adding a bit every year as I feel needs to be added... I feel it is a good idea for me to share this because I really need to get this all off my chest to take a step forward and try to move on.
Whether or not you ever see this, it makes me feel better to
let it all out. Some days I wish, I knew who you were, and that I could put a face to the person who got away with killing my Son Harley, but I really think it’s for the best that I don’t know you. Karma will get you one day, I just know it, and I think in time you will pay for what it is that you do. I have no forgiveness in my heart for pieces of shit like you, and I never will. It takes a special kind of person, to make a profit from those suffering everyday with addictions, and mental health issues. They are broken and lost, and they need help, people who care for them, but you do the complete opposite, you sell them their death. I wonder if you see all the lost souls, and beautiful faces in the paper, of these young people that you have taken away. If only you could see how much they were loved, and the pain you caused for others even beyond their deaths, a lifetime of heartache. I don’t know how you live with yourself!
I am also sharing this letter, because I don’t want this Fentanyl epidemic to take my Son Harley ’s life as just another statistic for the records! I hope this will open even just one person’s eyes about how serious this really is, maybe it will encourage someone to try and get clean so this doesn’t happen to them, or maybe it will cause a dealer to think twice about ever doing this to anyone else. I will continue to raise awareness, by telling my Son Harley’s story and not being afraid to talk about addiction and mental health issues. I hope more people will get educated on these topics, and that we can all work together to save some lives.
From, The broken heart of a grieving Mom. I Love you My Harles!!!
Please share and let others know how Fentanyl ruins the lives of soo many family members, Mom, Dad, Torin, Nana, Oma, Auntie Edith, Uncle Darren, Cousin Hunter, and everyone else that was touched by Harley!!!!
Noreena...
