In a recent phone call with Jim Narad, I was reminded of two WWII experiences that Dad shared with me:

        Dad was in the Army almost immediately after Dec 7, 1941. At that time he was in dental school, and all the dental students were drafted into the Army and all dental school programs accelerated to get them trained and ready to join the war. He told me of his travels to various Army posts after graduating Tufts, but the only one I remember is that he was up in Washington State, and it was cold and miserable with not much dentistry going on.

Eventually, he was sent to the Pacific, and was stationed in New Guinea while the war was still in progress, so this must have been spring 1945. I think he said that he was stationed at Buna (where there was a big battle in 1942), but I am not sure of this detail.

Dad said that one day a Dutch ship came in, and they had "been in a fight".  There was a sailor on board who had gotten a piece of shrapnel in the roof of his mouth, and the medics on board had been able to remove the shrapnel but had not been able to stop the bleeding.  The ship learned that there were dentists at the base and had come in to seek help.  One of the other dentists tried to stop the bleeding in this man's mouth, but was not successful.  Dad said that he had taken some anatomy classes, and so he made the attempt and was successful in stopping the bleeding. As I recall Dad telling me this story, I also remember that he told it with some pride, well deserved I think.


      The second story was in my direct question as to "where was he when the atomic bomb was dropped"?
Dad told me that he was on a ship going from New Guinea to the Philippines. He said they were told that a single bomb had destroyed an entire Japanese city, and they could not believe it.  They could not picture so much power in one bomb.  
Dad arrived in the Philippines as the war ended, and spent the rest of his tour there at several bases.

Dad was always whistling a favorite tune everywhere he went. He seemed to particularly like the men’s room when he thought he had good acoustics.

I remember him sitting in his favorite living room chair, always reading.

I remember he took us to the observation deck of the Empire State building. I couldn’t see over the concrete barrier, so he lifted me piggyback onto his shoulders. At first it scared me, and then I loved it.

I don’t know where my love of sports came from, not from either Mom or Dad. But for my 12th birthday, with help from Uncle Harry, he took me and some friends to the Polo Grounds to see the Mets.

I remember long summer trips all over the U.S. and Canada. I remember at Lake Meade near Las Vegas he was putting the Ct. Canoe into the water, and this rich guy standing on the deck of his yacht  almost fell overboard in disbelief watching Dad.

Like Jon, I remember him coming to school for his dental health lectures, and those slides of throat cancer.

I remember Jon, Lewis, and I taking bets on how many seconds Dad could hold that last long note on the Rams horn on the high Holy days. I remember he would turn red in the face doing it.

I have lived in a lot of places around the country, and met a lot of people. And it is obvious that you have a great head start on life if you come from a stable caring home and community, and Dad gave us that.

And I remember how he loved Taps, and he knew the words too.

And I think of the two words he would use to compliment someone when they gave him good service.

So in honor of who he was as a father, husband, professional, and all around great person I pay tribute to him and how he lived his life by closing with those two words.

WELL DONE

Herbert Gross, DMD (10-1-1921 to 9-12-2014)                      

                Dad was quite a man, and accomplished much. He was loved, respected and admired by many.

                Dad was born in Elizabeth, NJ October 1, 1921.  He moved to Norwalk CT with his parents Philip and Josephine (Pinals) Gross and younger sister Evelyn (“Sis”), I think around 1930. They owned Gross’s Dress Shop in South Norwalk.  Grandpa Philip and Grandma Josie were immigrants, Ukrainian Jews. Dad was the first member of the family to attend college.

                Dad told stories of working as a soda jerk while in high school. He also worked at the Firestone tire factory while in high school and when home from college. From his descriptions, this was very heavy work in a hot, smelly, dirty environment typical of factories of the time.

                Dad played trumpet in the Norwalk High School band. He graduated Norwalk High School as Valedictorian, Class of 1938. This was the high school band that played at the opening of the Merritt Parkway in CT. He continued playing trumpet through college, and I recall his story of being chosen and attending a special all-state band, so he was quite accomplished. He told of going to this event, arriving late at night and being told to take a bunk in one of the dormitories, I think at UMASS Amherst. He was awoken in the middle of the night by someone demanding “Who’s in my bunk?!” and when he replied, “Herb Gross,” the true owner of the bunk replied, “Oh, that’s OK Herb, sorry to bother you, no problem,” and departed! Dad found out the next day that the UMASS football star and Big Man On Campus was also named Herb Gross! I recall Dad saying he got to hear Glen Miller, Tommy Dorsey, and Louis Armstrong in person, all at one “Battle of the Bands” show.

                I am a bit muddy on Dad’s college path, but this included Worcester MA and Tufts Dental College in Boston. Dad told us that at that time, with the war on, “We were all in the Army” and being pushed through college (no breaks) by the War Department. Dad graduated Tufts and went directly onto active duty with the rest of his class.  Much later in his career, Dad was on the curriculum committee for Tufts Dental College.

                During the war, Dad served as a dentist in the US. Army Dental Corp, achieving the rank of Captain. He was stationed in Washington State, and California, before being sent into the Pacific. He served in New Guinea and the Philippines. He told us of being on ship board, I think in transit from New Guinea to the Philippines, when being told of a single bomb destroying an entire Japanese city. He said no one on board believed such a farfetched rumor. As the war ended while he was in the Philippines, he spent a lot of his deployment waiting to be returned home. This included surviving amebic dysentery; I recall a photo of a very thin man in an Army uniform.

                Toha (Toe-hah) is one of the great stories, and perhaps miracles, of Dad’s war journey.  Dad came to meet Toha as his houseboy in the Philippines. As I recall, Toha was from Java and had survived being a prisoner of the Japanese. Dad told me that they had beaten Toha, and he had done some work to repair his mouth. Toha slept at the foot of Dad’s bed in the tent that several men shared. At the end of the war, Dad and others tried to smuggle Toha to the US on a Navy ship, but were unsuccessful at this enterprise. They then took Toha, who was of small stature, and hid him in a mail bag and managed to get him free and illegal transport in that manner. Dad figured that he would never see Toha again. See the full story of Toha as Dad recalled it in the "Stories" section of this website. This is a transcript from a video tape that Dad produced.  Toha came to Norwalk and lived with my Dad and Mom in their first apartment in 1948, and after I was born in 1949.  Mom told a story of leaving the baby (me) with Toha, and coming back later to find what looked like a burn mark on my heel. Toha did not admit to any reason for this. Many years later when Mom had returned to college to get her degrees in psychology, (as she told it) in an anthropology class she learned that it was traditional in some parts of Java to put a baby’s feet in a fire to make it stop crying! I’m not sure I buy that, but she told the tale often enough that she believed it. At some point Toha moved to California, married, and ran a very successful restaurant supply business. The families remained in contact and visited several times, and I recall visiting with them on one of our trips to California; I must have been around 9 or 10. One coincidence is that Toha had a daughter born on the exact same day as my sister Debbie. We have a video tape of Dad telling most of this story.

                Dad set up his dental practice in Norwalk, CT, and remained there for the rest of his career. His practice was initially on Wall Street, on the second floor over Glendenning’s Drug Store. It was an older building, and I remember the narrow, steep staircase to get to his office where all of us kids were frequent visitors. No elevator- this was not an elderly-friendly location. His assistant/receptionist Helen Sabilia was always a great host for us. One of our traditions was to watch the Memorial Day Parade from his office, where we had a great view of the parade directly below. Dad moved his practice to 10 Mott Ave., a modern office building behind the library with good first floor access and plenty of parking. He was one of the initial owners of the building, but got out of that prior to retirement. During his career, Dad became highly respected and helped many younger dentists with difficult cases and in establishing their practices. During his career he was President, Norwalk Dental society and President, Connecticut Dental society. I believe he retired in about 1988, so that’s over 50 years in practice with the Army included.

                Dad and Mom were married in 1947.  Mom’s maiden name was Gruss, so it was Herb Gross marrying Evelyn Gruss; Mom said that by the time the newspaper got done reporting the wedding, she had married her cousin. They honeymooned on Cape Cod, using a car borrowed from his uncle Harry (Harry Novik was the founder of radio station WLIB in NYC). Apparently this car broke down and, after accomplishing repairs, they arrived on Cape Cod to find nothing open and survived by eating wedding cake.

                Dad raised us at 32 Deerwood Manor in Norwalk. He and Mom built the house in 1950 and moved in when I was one year old. They were able to get materials at a discount because Mom’s father, Grandpa Abe (Abraham Gruss), owned the Darien Lumber Yard (I still have memories of visits there whenever I smell fresh cut wood!). They told me the first time they viewed the plans for the new house, the architect had forgotten to include any bathrooms! The house was initially three bedrooms and two bathrooms. The first expansion added a family room, a two car garage and a workshop. The second expansion added two upstairs bedrooms and a bathroom. A fully screened porch was also added on the back. Dad was a highly accomplished wood worker and cabinet maker and did much of the interior of the home, as well as his offices. All four of us children were raised in this same safe home on a dead end street; Jon (1949), David (1951), Lewis (1953), Debbie (1959). Dad enjoyed walking the 2 miles to/from his office and did this frequently.

                Dad and Mom were active members of the community in many ways. Dad, who had been an Eagle Scout, was a founder and scoutmaster of Troop 18, Boy Scouts of America. Mom & Dad were active in the Guild for the Visually Handicapped. Mom and Dad were founding members of Temple Shalom, Norwalk CT where Dad played the shofar. They were also active in square dancing for many years. Dad was an accomplished photographer, and we still have his thousands of Kodachrome slides. I remember being at an assembly in elementary school when the dentist who spoke to us about healthy dental habits was My Dad!  They always handed out toothbrushes on Halloween instead of candy.

                Dad was eager to transfer his love for the outdoors and camping. He told of taking me winter camping, using the back of a 1956 Plymouth station wagon as our lodge for our first trip together to Macedonia Brook State Park in the northwest corner of CT.  This was a winter trip in the snow! As the family grew, Dad did not hesitate to take us all, and the trips grew in time and distance. To accommodate this growth the equipment changed from car camping, to tent camping, to a small Nimrod pop-up camper trailer augmented with a separate tent. Dad would typically take many weeks of vacation in the summer for a big family trip. We made at least two (family of 6, plus dog!) trips to California with the Nimrod, pulled with station wagons without air conditioning. Dad said he took us kids out to camp in the woods, but we kept finding our way home! Dad took the whole family tent camping several times onto islands in Lake George NY. We would shuttle in by a chartered motor boat, but once there, our only transport was the Connecticut Canoe.

The first Airstream was a brand new 1964 model, 26’ long. Dad named the Airstream “Gross Extravagance”, and put that name on the rear of all his Airstreams. Unfortunately, while on return from a trip to Maine, this first one was destroyed in a roll-over accident. Fortunately, we all walked away unhurt, but a classic Old Town Canoe that Dad had spent several winters restoring was destroyed. It had been on top of the 1964 Chrysler Newport station wagon tow vehicle, and by absorbing the rollover energy probably protected all of us in the car from injury.  This boat had been named “Connecticut Canoe”; I still have the original paddles and use them with our canoe. Another reason we were unhurt is that Dad installed seat belts in all his cars since the 1956 Plymouth, and insisted we all use them. In 1964 I do not believe that seat belts were even offered as options! My sister Debbie was in the “way back” of the station wagon and therefore not in a seat belt when we rolled, but escaped unhurt because she was surrounded by blankets as well as the family dog. The dog, Vicky, ran from the accident scene but was later recovered unhurt by locals and reunited with us.

The Airstream was quickly replaced with a new 1965, also 26’. There was another longer one in there, length I do not recall, and finally the big 34’ 1994 Airstream Excella 1000. This rig now sits in our driveway, being prepared for sale. It has the member number 11100 and ten stars on the front, each star representing 5 years in the Wally Byam Caravan Club. Dad & Mom were very active with the Metropolitan New York unit of the Wally Byam Caravan Club. Both are past presidents of that unit. This Airstream owners club has various rallies and caravans, Dad & Mom having attended and hosted many. I personally recall the National Rally with over 1,000 trailers in Hershey PA., I think when I was 16, in 1965.

As the family grew, and after all the kids left home, Dad & Mom continued to travel all over North America with the Airstream.  They did this to the envy and awe of their family and friends, making new friends and reacquainting with old ones along the way. Their travels included several trips into Mexico and one venture as far south as Guatemala and trips to Alaska and Canada. They took the Airstream to all contiguous 49 states, and Dad said he would go to Hawaii “as soon as they build a bridge”. They joined a group that went to New Zealand and rented small motor homes there and toured NZ. This included a visit with the Morresey family, who had hosted my wife Sarah there as part of an agricultural exchange program in 1979.

Dad also got his HAM radio license, soon to be joined by Mom getting her license. Dad was “radio active” as W1USE.  He made many radio friends around North America, and visited many on his travels.

I think around 1989 Mom & Dad made their first visit to Donaldson’s Campground in Lake Clear, NY. This is a privately owned campground on Upper Saranac Lake in the Adirondacks. It is directly across from Fish Creek Ponds State Campground on NY State Highway 30. At first, they parked the trailer on “the beach”, but soon discovered they could “gidget” the trailer into the unique campsite that quickly became known as “Gross Point”. Dad often reflected that “this is heaven on earth”.  This secluded site (with full hookups) is directly on the peninsula forming a location in the lake known as “The Narrows”. The site has water on two sides, and thick woods otherwise. Gross Point became their summer joy. They came to rent it year round to assure they would be able to have it to themselves each season. We visited them there often, and our kids (Philip and Lauren) would love to feed peanuts to the chipmunks.  Mom had trained the chipmunks to come take a peanut right from her pocket! However, getting the 34’ Airstream into or out of that narrow site is quite a challenge!

After Mom died in 1999, Dad sold the house in Norwalk and became a full time RVer. He commissioned the building of a special Sportmobile Van, itself a fully contained camping vehicle. It has a unique four wheel drive chassis, a custom designed Sportmobile body, a huge Ford diesel engine, a special Pulrite hitch, and all sorts of other gadgets, mostly installed by Dad. There are enough radios in it to outfit a Space Shuttle. It has come to be known as “The Van” and sits in our driveway as I write this, its future TBD.  Appropriately enough, the license plate is New York plate number W1USE, the same as his HAM radio call sign.

Dad came to a routine of taking the Van and Airstream south in the winter, and then return to spend the summer (typically May-October) at Gross Point. These winter trips ranged all the way to California and down to Texas, where he spent much time at Big Bend National Park. His journey North sometimes ventured as far southeast as Florida, and all along the East coast. These winter trips always included stops here in Canandaigua, with my brother David and his wife Barbara in Pittsburgh, and on to Debbie, her husband Tim, and daughter Rachel in Colorado. Many other stops were made all along the way, his route always adjusted to see friends and extended family everywhere.

Somewhere along in these years Dad got fitted with a new heart valve, recuperating while staying with Deb/Tim/Rachel in Colorado. He also got new knee joints in two consecutive years, staying with us to recuperate from those upgrades. This led to his acquiring his “red chair”, a motorized recliner that remains here in Canandaigua. He loved sitting in it while reading his Sunday NY Times.

In his later years hauling the Airstream became a burden, and it would sit in our driveway all winter while Dad made his tour in just The Van. However, come May, he hauled the Airstream up to Donaldson’s, and we would come up and meet him there to help him “gidget” into Gross Point. We would then help him set up the radio antennas and other requirements for the summer season.  Sarah brought what became the traditional arrival supper of ravioli and a salad, the aroma filling the properly parked Airstream. In early October we reversed this process, helping him break camp and return the Airstream to our driveway before once again making his winter rounds.

This past May 2014 seemed little different though Dad was clearly able to do less himself and depended on our getting just about all the hook-up work done when setting up camp. However, he pulled that big Airstream from our drive way all the way up himself, and gidgeted it into the site as always. He loved his stays at Gross Point.  During our phone calls, he reflected on the beauty of the lake, shared how he “played radio” a lot, visited friends, hosted guests, had many a delicious dinner with good friends at The Red Fox, took The Van into Saranac Lake village or Tupper Lake village for supplies, read books, penned eloquent letters and, as always, found things to fix or modify.

This June, Dad traveled to Syracuse in The Van to meet his two-week-old Great Granddaughter, his first and only “great”. Philip and Rachel’s daughter, Margaret Evelyn, was born on June 1st. Dad was in awe when he held her and called her “his life”.  Dad went to his friend, Bob Thurman’s, 100th year birthday party on a solo trip to Arizona on July 8th! He flew on jet aircraft and even stayed in a hotel, both a true rarity for him. He came back with great stories and truly enjoyed this outing.

Dad was determined not to be a burden for anyone, and maintained his independence as long as possible.  He was wonderfully independent until mid-July, when his health started to deteriorate.  We are thankful to his friends Shirley and Bernie, who helped Dad and us decide to bring Dad here to Canandaigua, hopeful that he could regain his strength and go back to his beloved Point.  This was not to be, however, and Dad died at noon yesterday, September 12, 19 days shy of his 93rd birthday. He died as he lived; without fear, and with hope, courage, an indomitable spirit, and dreams of things to come.  W1USE’s call is silent now, but his legacy will live on forever.

Thank you so much to everyone who sent cards, letters and photos.  Dad enjoyed our reading each of them to him.  We and the rest of our family would greatly appreciate your additions to Dad’s life  stories. Please let us know when and where you met Dad, and any memories or photos you would like to share.

With thanks

Jon and Sarah Gross

9/13/14 by Jon Gross