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Tribute to Mom

November 9, 2023
My mom, Liu Fung Har, 89, of Forest Hills, NY passed away peacefully on May 17, 2023 at Long Island Jewish Hospital surrounded by her loving family. She was born on August 23, 1933 in Hong Kong to my grandparents Liu Fai Nam and Tseng Lai Kuen. She was married to my father, Hock Fung Ma, for 54 years who preceded her death in 2014. She and my father were first generation immigrants who came to New York in 1967 to raise their family and give them a better life. Mom is survived by her children, Mary, James, Kawa, and Nancy, and her four grandchildren, Olivia, Serena, Nicholas, and Lauren.

Fung Har was a survivor. She survived the Japanese attack on Hong Kong in 1941 during World War II. She was just 9 years old in school when she heard the air raid sirens go off during lunchtime and shortly after bombs rained down around her. That began a long year of hardships with threats of starvation under the Japanese occupation. After a difficult year, she along with my grandmother and her younger siblings escaped to Guangzhou, China, her grandmother's  hometown, where they faced further attacks by the Japanese up until the war ended in 1945. Mom spent her remaining childhood and early adult years there.

As a first generation immigrant, she also survived the hardships of moving to America with her young family and all their belongings packed into 2 suitcases and not being able to speak a word of English. But through it all, she was resilient and never gave up. She was a force of nature who always found a way to overcome any obstacle.

Fung Har always had a strong determination to live a better life for herself. While she grew up on a farm in China, tending livestock and growing rice, she couldn't see herself living out her life there. She desired a different life in the city. She wanted to get a good education at a time when few girls attended schools. Each morning she rose at the crack of dawn and travelled an hour out and back by foot to the closest school. She studied very hard and was able to earn a half-tuition award and finished high school with a concentration in accounting.

After she came to America, lacking the ability to speak English, the only jobs she found were menial such as being a seamstress in Chinatown. After a few years, she knew she needed to earn more to support her growing family of five children. She became self-employed building out a storefront from the ground up on the first floor of her house in Hollis, Queens to sell fresh produce. The store required much physical work, long working hours and the neighborhood became unsafe after experiencing several incidents of robbery at gunpoint.

She closed the store and bought a laundromat in Forest Hills, Queens. She and my Dad worked tirelessly to provide for their family. After a year, they saved enough to put a down payment on a home in the beautiful neighborhood of Forest Hills where she lived for nearly 40 years and for the rest of her life. It was a wonderful place to raise a family and grow old.

She is a role model for her children and grandchildren, showing them that anything is possible if you work hard and never give up. In my mom's spare time, she enjoyed singing, dancing, telling stories of her past, playing mahjong and teaching her children and grandchildren to play. She was a skilled player and loved sharing her love of the game with her family. Her family adored spending time with her and often brought her along on their travels. She has visited some of the most beautiful places in the world including Hawaii, Florida, Bahamas, Caribbean, London, Paris, Hong Kong, and China as well spent many Labor Day's family weekends in the Poconos and Long Island. Her family will always cherish those travel memories with her for many years to come.

Mom was a truly remarkable woman. She was a loving mother, a devoted wife, a successful businesswoman, a survivor, and a role model for all. She lived a life of grace, humility, and hard work. She was well-liked and adored by everyone who met her. She will be remembered for her love, her strength, her courage. She loved her family unconditionally, made many sacrifices, often putting their needs before her own. Even after her children had grown up and moved out of the home, she would always be there for them. She will be remembered for the ways she made them feel safe, supported, and cared for. Till her last days, she was always concerned for her children's well-being, their physical needs, wanting to make sure they were safe and happy. She was truly a devoted mother and grandmother who would do anything for her children. She will be deeply missed by all who knew her.

A private viewing will be held on Tuesday, May 30th at Glascott Funeral Home in Forest Hills, NY to remember and honor her life.
In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made to the following charities:
American Cancer Society - https://www.cancer.org/
American Heart Association - https://www.heart.org/
January 2, 2015

You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind be empty and
turn your back,
Or you can do what he would want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

He Is Gone – By David Harkins

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