|Sure, he was fat but, at least according to most actuarialists, not deadly fat.|
He nearly died when he read that he was dead.
"He's not dead; he's electroencephalographically challenged."
"It was said that his High School Sweetheart, the fetching strawberry blonde who wore white jeans, could out-drink every single one of his friends.
Is that true?
Yes; except for Ferguson, Stankevich, and Yanofsky."
"Wasn't it I am not Spartacus who took Team Medalist Honors during a Regional Golf Tournament held in a Woodstock Snowstorm lo these many years ago?
Accrd. to the Rutland Herald, yes. But, to be fair to the rest of Hal Vincent's Team, his hands were so frozen that the 14 he took on #18 was recorded as a 4."
"Oncet, I am not Spartacus drove to Rutland and on the way back to Springfield he put his car in neutral as he crested Mount Holly and he coasted for over a mile.
He always loved to talk about that "magical day.""
"I'm dead? Really?"
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