Today marks one year of my Dad not being with us.  Losing my Dad is the most difficult event I've ever had to endure.  This is because of the great love, respect and relationship we had.  My husband would joke about where he landed on the totem pole...under my Dad. During the evil process of cancer, I would find myself thinking about life without my Dad. It seemed impossible. There was NO WAY we would lose him.  "But what if?" would sneak into my mind.  Instantly I would catch my breath and think there's no way I can live in a world that doesn't include my Dad. The pain would KILL me.  Well, I'm not dead.  It took one breath at a time, then one hour at a time. And now here I am a year later- and pregnant with our first chirld. James Maxfield Vaughan.

Our family is so full of unconditional love and mutual respect.  Something I did not realize until later in life.  When you are in the middle of something, it's easy to take it for granted - like it is the norm.  Unfortunately the kind of love our family shares is not the norm.  So the treasure I have is even more valuable than I realized. 

I believe I have cried every day for over a year.  I neglected and lost friends by excluding people from my life.  Needing to grieve and mourn took priority.   And few people truly understand grief - real grief.  Cliches, "hang in there", and the like were only frustrating.  Right or wrong I used crutches such as wine to numb me through the intensity of the pain.  But continued to be proactive in my daily devotions - knowing my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is the only true Healer.  My faith was so shaken by the fact that my Dad was not healed in the way that I wanted.  I was angry. So praying for restoration in my life was just moving through the motions...not exactly sure what I believed.  Just having a constant "WHY?" My sweet husband endured the mourning, anger, crutches - he stood by me and supported me.

 Meanwhile life kept moving on around me.  I felt like I was in a bubble watching things happening, but I felt nothing.  The daily "problems" of other people were so petty. So selfish. 

My Dad was born to be a Dad. That was his calling and gift in life.  He was great at it! Kids were always drawn to him.  Not in the way that he spoiled us - he was always teaching us. He taught me how to change the oil in my car, how to check the spark plugs, air filter, tires, etc. He taught me how to balance my check book, to have a savings account.  How to clean and organize the house, mow the grass, do laundry.  I could go on and on.  These were lessons in responsibility.  A priceless gift.  But it wasn't all work. We had BBQ's, camping trips, vacations, days and days on the boat, game nights...for us this was normal life. 

I am so grateful for the time I was given with my Dad - as short as it was, it was FULL of life.  I will continue to miss him every day, but at least I don't cry as much.  I will continue to grow and not get bogged down in the sadness.  Because I choose to grow, I choose to live.  I wish I had spent every available chance with him. Living so far away, I should have spent every holiday and vacation with him.  He only got those few times a year. Another lesson learned, the hard way.  This is one I will struggle with. It will be difficult to not be bitter with each passing holiday. 

 Ecclesiastes is my favorite book in the Bible - life is a LONG lesson.  Every time I read this book I am reminded to focus on the big picture, of what truly matters. That this world is not our home, Heaven is. 

I know this story is jumbled thoughts. These are my feelings, my pain and the experience of my growing.  By the way, our little James Max will be born in about a week.  And you know my Dad hand picked him.

Hospitality was the heart of Jim and Dee's home. Many times over the years as I  enjoy blackened fish I am reminded of Jim's personal touch on the blackened seasoning he made himself. No one can blacking fish like Jim. His joy of making one feel at home and sharing his cooking skills has made a lasing memory for me. It seems as though he was as caring about the fish he served others as he would be with the 'fish' he was served for nurturing and care for the sake of the Kingdom. A true servant of the Lord.
 

Yesterday was a very difficult day for me.  Jim was not here for his 64th Birthday. He was here in my heart.  The lilly from his funeral, that sits in my dining room, bloomed for the first time yesterday.  That was a sign, I believe.

Sixty-four years ago, I was a little girl of almost five years of age. My parents and I had lived with my Grandmother, Great Aunt and Uncle since my Dad had been serving in the Army during WWII.  He spent most of his service time in the European Theater. I remember he was home rarely and I barely recognized him when he came home in his military uniform and walked into the yard.  I ran from him until I got to know him again. We continued to live with my Grandmother, until my Dad found a job, after returning from the military.

I got a pleasant surprise on March 31, 1947.  It was a surprise because I didn't know my parents were expecting another child.  (Children were not given this information in the 1940's.) At least, mine didn't share this info. with me.  One day my Mother was gone.  She just was not there.  My grandmother, and my aunt were quiet and kept the news to themselves.  They told me that my mother went on a trip and she would be home soon, I couldn't understand this, she was always home.  Then after five days of wondering and worrying about my mother, I was playing, with my doll, on the porch.  I saw a long black vehicle driving right up to the porch.  I had never seen a vehicle like that before.  I ran and hid around the corner, where I could "peep" out and see what was happening. Two men, who looked as if they were in uniform, went to the rear of the vehicle, (that I later learned was an ambulance).  They opened the back and lifted what seemed to be, a bed on wheels out of the long black vehicle.  I kept very still and continued to watch even though I was very frightened.  As they lifted the "bed on wheels" onto the porch, I could see now, "it was my mother lying on the bed."  They rolled the stretcher closer to my hiding place, in the corner and I could see a tiny bundle in my mother's arms.  I was so excited, I left my hiding place and ran to my mother's side.  I looked into the eyes of the cutest baby doll I had ever seen.  It was "baby Jimmy".  He was rosy cheeked and his hair was strawberry blond, his hair looked red in the sunlight. I was so happy as my mother said, "this is your new baby brother".  Later, his red hair turned light blond and his head was covered solid with curls. I thought he was as cute as a real live doll and I helped my mother care for him (as much as a five year old could).  We moved to another state later that year, where our Dad found a job.  Four years later, our sister, Carol was born.  Times had changed, and we were able to visit her in the "Holy Name Of Jesus Hospital".  They let us see her and we knew that she was expected, so we were looking forward to her arrival. She also had platinum blond hair and blue eyes. 

We were all very close growing up. Many of our prayers went up for Jim as we prayed constantly while he served in the Air Force, in Vietnam.  We were very blessed as he returned home safely,  We always remained close and Jim was a favorite uncle to our three children,  He and my husband, Lawson, were as close as brothers.  All of Jim's nieces and nephews loved him and looked up to him as a role model. Jim will always be in our hearts and I will always remember the day I saw him come into my life as a small bundle, in my mother's arms.  (He was taller than the average baby "and more handsome than the average baby, in my opinion").

Soon, Jim's daughter, Kim and her Husband Brent, will welcome their new baby into this world and I know Jim will be celebrating in Heaven. I can't wait to meet this new "little bundle of love".

I know Dee missed Jim yesterday on his birthday and there will always be an empty place in her life, until they meet again.  They loved each other very much, (As Jim loved all of his family, Kim, Jon, Matthew, Melissa, and all of the grands, as well as Carol and her family and me and my family).

"Jimmy will always be a part of my Heart, as I look forward to being with him Again.  This time, he will be home Waiting for me to arrive."

LOVE, FOREVER,

"JEANNIE"

Papa Jim was kind, loving, fun to be  around, faithful to his Lord, and my father figure. This was our last Valentine's day together. This was the last day that I was able to see Papa before his condition got way worse. I am thankful to have been able to spend this day with him and our family. I am thankful for all of the memories that I have. Going to Nana and Papa's house every summer. First on the river and then on the lake. Me, Candace, Justin, Matthew, Nana and Papa went swimming every day. I attempted a couple of water sports, but I never got the hang of water skiing or knee boarding. Candace showed me up on the skii's and Mattew, who is 7 years younger than I am, always showed me up on the knee board. This Valentine's day was just as good as the other visit's. Hanging out at the house, talking. laughing, having a good time, and just spending quality time together is better than anything. I am so thankful that I have all of these wonderful memories with Nana and Papa. Thank you Papa Jim for showing me love and kindness and most importantly to me, what it was like to have a dad. Thank you for being the person that you were. I love you very much and miss you every day. You will always have a place in my heart.

Always,

Dakota

I love this picture.  Thank you for fighting so hard to stay here with us.

well there is always so much to say about my dad he was warm hearted,tall,and funny my dad quit his job and retired so he could spend more time with me he would always be there with me every baseball game basketball game and even card game if i were 2 ever get in a fight he would usualy ask me if i won eventually hed say its ok he wont ever mess with u again. i remember him waking me up every morning for school make me dinner and say goodbye to me and when i get home he would always be the one who would help me with my 1+1s and 2+2s .he was the one that would always help me when i had a problem and would always have a story to cheer me up when i was sad and have a solution for my problems.my dad may have been quiet when u first met him but he could always be the center of attention and when he had something to say everyone would crowd around. these may just seem like old storys of my old man but they mean so much 2 me and there will always be an empty space in my heart for my dad but in the end if i play my cards right we will all be together again

                    in loving memory,

                                               matthew. 

Memories that make me smile....

While we were camping one year Dee and Dad took Jon and I out in a canoe.  While we were out Dad spotted a dam, only about 2 feet high, with another large section of lake beyond that.  So he had us all get out of the canoe and tote it up and over the dam so we could explore this part of the lake.  Obviously it's not meant for visitors to go there or else there would be an easier way to get your canoe there.  So we're paddling around...and Dee is saying "I just don't think we're supposed to be here"...and then we see them. Lots and Lots and Lots of Alligators!  There were so many that you could reach the paddle out on any side of the boat and touch one.  And you know Dad, he's chuckling and so is Jon. 

When we lived in Florida, Dee and Dad decided to hide Easter Eggs on a little Island that they saw from one of the bridges. We canoed out. It was beautiful and we had a great pic-nic. They they hid the eggs...we were about to go out to find them when someone like a forest ranger showed up.  He said that this particular island is off limits because of the MANY ALLIGATORS inhabiting it!

Jim loved to tell tall tales.  Especially one that would make the hair stand up on the back of your neck.   Whenever we were camping or just out in the dark late at night Jim would tell the kids of Mr. Swafford.  Mr. Swafford and his family,  a wife and 10 kids, lived in the mountains.  No one saw them except on Sundays when they would all come down the mountain to church.  Mr Swafford fell on hard times and even though all of his family didn't make it to church Mr. Swafford always came with most of his family. One by one there were fewer and fewer of the kids who came with him.  Finally even his wife didn't come but Mr. Swafford now had a thriving shoe and belt business!!!!!!  

Much to our surprise a co-worker of mine really owned a salon next door to Swaffords Shoes!!!!  

                         Jim and Yellow Butterflies

At evening when I lay, I see the stars shine overhead. They are the little daisies, white. They dot the meadow of the night. And often while I'm dreaming Across the moon, and stars I'll go. It's me smiling as always, And I gather daisies, For when morning I arise. There's not a star left in the sky. But the sun shines brightly, I've picked all the daisies, and dropped them from Heaven, for all the Yellow Butterflies, to come around for you to see.

                                              FLY HIGH WITH THE ANGELS

                                                                                    I Love You,(My Mr. Wilson)

                                                                                                     Love, Dusty Lynn

I rented a cottage from Dee&Jim on Cherokee Ave, in Sav'h GA. their house was beside the cottage. I had two poodles Rocky&Nikki. When i would call on Jim(oh Mr. Wilson) he knew someting needed fixing.( Mr. Wilson) came from the movie "Dennis the Menace" an Jim loved that, on the week-ends Nikki would run over to Aunt Dee&Uncle Jims an jump in the bed with them, and that tickled Jim, and Nute(Nootie-Pootie) was my buddy, we all loved Nute(sweet-loving etc... one day i bought Nute a red cowboy hat, an Dee took lot's of great pictures of me& Nute, when (Mr.Wilson came home, that tickled him so!! Dee&Jim taught me beautiful things of GOD-LOVE-LIFE. Jim always had the sweetwst smile,and he always was smiling no matter what. To see Dee&Jim together was like a breath of fresh air, they would light up a room. To know them, was to LOVE them. It seemed to me an Angel was shining her light over them. Those were the best blessed day's of my life. Jim and I talked on the phone about 2mths ago and we had a long wonderful talk. I carry you in my HEART forever Jim (My Mr.Wilson) Love Always, Dusty Lynn 

"Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."Hebrews 11

My younger brother, "Jimmy", was the living example of one who would "hold fast the profession of his faith without wavering"; (For He is faithful that promised). Hebrews10:23

Growing up in a small North Georgia town, Jimmy wanted to travel and see the world.  He was able to realize this dream through his service in the military.   After enlisting in the Air Force, he received specialized training in Radar and computer science.  (At this time computers were large and foreign looking equipment filling up an entire room), Very scary to most of us.  Like most challenges in his life, he excelled at this.  This training prepared him for his Service in Viet nam and for his future career with  F.A.A.    

I had seen him excel in many things, including the time he made "All Star" State Baseball play offs,  and the time word got out of our high school office that he had scored highest on the  "IQ" tests that were given by the state.  However, he was equally excited to get his first job, bagging groceries, enabling him to buy his first car.              

Later in life,  he realized a goal that he held dear, and that was being "Dad"  in a loving family.  He and Dee loved and gave a Christian home to their four children.  First, Jon and Kim left the nest to become responsible adults and then came Melissa and Matthew, who looked to Jim and Dee for guidance and security.

However, Nothing in Jim's life was ever as evident and rewarding as his persistent desire and pursuit of living by the "Word of God".  From the time he was a young man, he had a thirst for the word of God.  He was born again, and received his Heavenly Father into his life and from that moment on, he was a living breathing example to all who knew him, "Never wavering in the profession of his Faith".

My husband, our adult children, and our grandchildren, (as well as our sister, Carol and her children) have always seen Jim as a "shining example" to help all of us who might need a strong shoulder to lean on.

Hebrews 12: says "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight , and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us".

1Peter:24 25  " For all Flesh is as grass, and all the Glory of man as the Flower of grass.  The grass withereth away and the Flower thereof  falleth  away. But the Word of the Lord Endureth Forever, and this is the word  by which the Gospel is preached unto you."

"Thank you, my brother, for your  loving example and your good works, for all of us to witness.  We will always love you!"

"Barbara Jean  (Jeannie)

(p.s.) Today was a meaningful day in Jim and Dee's life, it would have been their 24th wedding anniversary.

One of the lessons we learned growing up was: If you use something, leave it better than the way you found it.  I told Dee the other day that Dad left this world and our lives better than when he found us.  I think everyone that ever met Dad - Jim Borders - was given a great gift by knowing him.  He's the best person I ever knew and loved and he always will be. 

I love you Dad - more than words can ever express.  I miss you so much.

Your daughter,

Kim

For many years when our family would talk about Uncle Jim this is the one story that we would always think of. So we thought we would share it.

One night while we were visiting in GA, we were all sitting down eating dinner. Everyone was sitting around the table talking about life and what it was like as young kids. Jim began to tell us all a story and it went something like this:

When I was a young boy I would have to walk to and from school everyday. When the winter came around it was soo cold and we didnt have a lot of money so I didnt have shoes. I had to wear potato bags on my feet. We didnt have much to take to lunch either so my mom would make me a baked potato and I would carry it in my pocket. Thats how I stayed warm on my way to school. Then that same potato that kept me warm became my lunch.

Everyone was looking around the table at each other in disbelief but he was so serious. We questioned his story several times and with a serious face he kept saying it was true. About 30 minutes later we were about to get up from the table and he started laughing. He said he made the whole thing up but he sure enjoyed watching all of our faces as he told the story.