ForeverMissed
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Missed

March 3, 2017

Three years,  about average of nineteen opens a day.  Many holes in a lot of hearts.

McPeak Cousins

March 3, 2016

Our family is greatful to belong the the amazing McPeak Family. 

I know that Jessica, Jacob, and Cole loved playing with their

2nd cousins. We are thankful for the time that we were able to

know Jared. He was kind and always smiling. His memory lives 

on. Thank you for sharing your stories. We cannot know your pain,

if we have not experienced it.  Our thoughts and prayers are continually 

with your family. May God hold you,  guide you, bless you, and comfort you.

30 lb Weight Gain

February 11, 2016

Jared was 190 lbs in the above picture. In August we sent him for his sophmore year of college to Texas A&M, where he gained 30 lbs in two months. His new dorm friends talked about him eating 3 trays of food in one sitting. This was crazy behavior for Jared because his freshman year of college I still sent Ensure protein shakes with him for his dorm to make sure he ate enough food. Then for his summer job at Dion's, he rarely ate at work, so I bought protein shakes for him to take.

There was one time when Jared called me from Texas to have me explain how to use the dorm laundry machines because he thought he accidently used the wrong setting and shrunk his pants. I believed him because no one who knew Jared would have believed that he gained so much weight that he was having trouble with his pants fitting. If his story had a happy ending, I definately would have picked on him for that.

Jared was always thin so when we did a video chat with him and saw his face, we thought the puffy face was a symptom and wanted him to go see the doctor right away. We also had him check his body for rashes or anything unusual, he also had marks on his thighs which we found out later were stretch marks because of the rapid weight gain.




Melendi's (the photographer's) daughter

February 11, 2016

I was at the studio when Jared got his Senior pictures taken. It was a memorable event for a couple of reasons.

One reason is that Jared was awkward and stiff with posing for the camera. So the photographer, Luis Melendi, the go-to photographer in the Keys was super animated trying to get Jared to "be cool". It was hilarious because Melendi said funny things about giving attitude to the camera and it was hilarious because Jared had no intention of copying any pose that Melendi did. The three pictures that we bought for Jared's Senior pictures look exactly like the one above, just with different backgrounds and clothes.

The second reason it was memorable is that Melendi's Senior pictures are affordable because Melendi also teaches each student a safety lesson. He gives a High School Senior discount and explains to your Senior about how his 19 year old daughter, Shannon, died at the hands of a sexual predator that previously had been her teacher and coach. It was an awkward conversation, because there are no words to comfort someone who lost a child in the worst way. I commend him for talking about his daughter and doing great work in her name for the community. Melendi is quite honestly awesome for doing what he does. I watched him photographing Syd's HS graduation ceremony and wondered how him and his wife get through each day. His presence helped me get through that day without Jared.

Facial Expressions

January 29, 2016

On a nearly daily basis I catch myself making facial expressions that I associate with Jared. When he had his major leg injury and was in pain, there's a certain face he made when he was focusing on something.

And ... It's bitter/sweet how my husband at times reminds me of my son.

September 10, 2015

II remember he simulated Uncle,Shannon's twisted lip talking.

November 18, 2014

This is what he was like as he kicked my butt in the Hairy Potter game of whitish.  I enjoyed being there but I couldn't do anything about competing with him.

November 2, 2014

AT this point I believed that there was a cure or a remission that would grant us, Oma and me an extended period of time to enjoy him and allow him time to heal.


             





November in the Hospital

October 25, 2014

Jared was in the hospital for weeks while they were running tests. I hadn't seen Jared since he left for college in August and drove himself from Key Largo Florida to Galveston Texas. When I saw him at the hospital I was super happy to see him and catch up on what he had been up to at school.

We actually had fun at the hospital. We thought whatever this problem is, Jared will do his therapies and even if it took a few years he'd eventually recover. The timing wasn't too bad, he needed the next 3-4 years to finish school so he could work therapies into his schedule and still go to school. And Jared was very agreeable to doing his therapies. Jared had a major leg injury his Senior year of high school and understood the importance of having a good attitude and putting in the time to get better.

Jared was always a cool tempered guy and in the hospital they did all kinds of bloodwork and Jared's cortisol level (stress hormone) was normal, even lower than expected considering he was in the hospital, which was good to hear.

It was a teaching hospital and Jared was visited by about 6 different doctor and therapy teams daily (surgery, infectious disease, neurology, immunology, PT, OT). We usually got up pretty early each day because I wanted to avoid the surgery team that did early rounds. Their visits were always pointless, they never had any new information and we were waiting for the all the non-invasive tests to come back anyway. Plus, I didn't want to hear about brain surgery as a real possiblity. So we got up early and paced the lower halls that were mostly deserted - doing his therapies in their lounge areas and just goofying around and talking. In between the visits, Jared kept up with his homework because he wanted to try to take his finals for the Fall Semester. We were allowed to walk outside, but after several trips it got boring. After a few days, I snuck him out to his dorm a few times to get more clothes, do laundry, and pick up his mail and several times we snuck out to eat and even saw the movie Gravity. Gravity was fun because we were the only ones at the matinee showing so we talked a bit during the movie. 

At work - being friendly and helpful to others

July 22, 2014

Jared liked working at Dion's Quik Mart. Dion's is a gas station that is known in the FL Keys for its fried chicken.

Syd and I and sometimes Jason and I would visit Jared a few times a month while he was working, just to buy a snack and say 'Hi'. I honestly thought he would get embarrassed with his parents and sister coming by, but he thought we were funny posing as customers and asking him dumb questions about what he was doing. He liked his job even though he worked a lot of hours and often had to clean the food area (see pic) and the restrooms.

He was one of the few employees with a car. He'd always give people rides to/from the bus stop, which would otherwise be a 2 mile hike for them. He thought his co-workers were nice and fun and like helping them out and chatting with them. Before he went to off to college, they gave him a nice bag of gifts which he appreciated.

On one particular night, Jared was the Dion's cashier and a tourist from another country who spoke broken English asked where the diesel fuel was. Jared pointed him in the direction of the diesel fuel pump outside. It turns out that the man was filling up his rental car and didn't know that it needed gasoline not diesel. The tourist filled up his car with diesel and then after realizing his mistake angrily comes into the gas station with his wife and teenager and started yelling at Jared, blaming Jared for the mistake. Jared listened politely, helped him find a mechanic, and drove the family to their hotel after he finished work. He gave them his cell number and said if the car wasn't done in time that he would take them to the airport in Miami (2 hour round-trip car ride) so they wouldn't miss their flight.

Jared got home from work and told us about the situation, he wasn't happy about it -- but Jared was polite to the man, even though the guy tried to blame his mistake onto Jared.

We are so proud of Jared, he's always kind no matter the situation. I can't believe we lost him.

July 5, 2014

You know how you wonder if the kids get anything out of the thing they just did.  One time we were walking to the car after church and Jared asked me about the lesson, "grandpa, was that entrapment?".

Telling Jared

June 10, 2014

I can't say I explained Jared's condition to him in terms of how long he had left to live or specifics about what was likely to happen. But, we weren't given this information by doctors either. When we were in Texas and after his brain surgery the neurosurgeon thought Jared's symptoms and brain tumor might have been caused by a congenital condition because he noticed Jared's blood vessels were routed strangely and the biopsy looked at during surgery showed benign/normal cells. A couple weeks later, the official pathology from Texas was that it was a rare growth (no name given) and that it was biologically aggressive and recommended Jared start radiation in 4-5 weeks.

Jason and I knew enough from the internet and experience that something growing near the hypothalamus referred to as, "rare", "congenital" and "biologically aggressive", was a poor prognosis. I gave Jared the watered down version in late November and began by telling him that he was always going to have to worry about his health, there was always going to be a big question mark about his condition, he would need to need frequent scans and hospital visits, he wasn't going to live as long as many of our family members who made it to 60+. I explained it was like winning the lottery of bad luck.

His first response was, "Really?" - big sigh - followed by , "Are Sam and Syd going to be ok?" I replied, "They're fine, just you got f***ed." He replied something about being glad that they (his sisters) will be ok.

Jared is the nicest person I have ever met, always thinking of other people. It is excruciatingly painful to lose him.

Aggies Stick Together

April 1, 2014

At Texas A&M, every student is a part of a family, where your background story means little and your home is with eachother. Here, at the Texas A&M at Galveston campus, we had the priviledge of housing a strong and true Aggie. His story brings tears to our eyes and a rip to our hearts. For those that did not have the chance to know him, we still bare witness to the pain and love a fellow Aggie could bestow upon another. 

At Texas A&M, we have a ceremony called "Silver Taps," which is where every student comes to the middle of campus, late at night while every light is shut off, and has a moment of silence as three volleys are fired. "Silver Taps" by Colonel Richard J. Dunn is played by six buglers three times – to the North, West, and South. It is not played to the East because the sun will never again rise on this Aggie. This concludes the ceremony, but not the feelings of respect and honor. 

Today on April 1st, 2014, at 10:30PM the student body, professors, friends, families, and workers on campus will pay tribute to one of the strongest Aggies that had to leave before his time had come. We will shed tears, we will pray for his family, friends and loved ones, but most of all, we will never forget our friend, Jared McPeak. Because, as all Texas A&M students say, Aggies stick together. 

So, I'm sorry that I don't have a story or a picture that I can contribute, but I wanted to shed a light on his family here in Galveston who will never forget him and will honor his memory in the best possible way we find fit, with a beautiful ceremony given to all Aggies. 

Thanks and 'Gig-em. 

Sleepover at the Mcpeaks

March 23, 2014

Back when we were younger, my brother and I stayed the weekend at the Mcpeak house down in Gurnee, Illinois. I must have been about 9 which would make Jared 10 and my brother 7. One of the nights after the parents went to sleep, Aaron, Jared, and I snuch downstairs and drank soda and played videogames all night. I am really surprised they didn't hear us because we were as loud as can be having one of the greatest nights of my entire life. When Jason and Sheila got up the next morning, we pretended we had just woken up but in reality, we had never went to bed. I will never forget that night.

Jared and Joey

March 8, 2014

My dear boy Joey has 3 older brothers that have moved away and started new lives.  When Jared moved next door Joey couldn't believe his luck.   Anytime Joey wanted to swim Jared would meet him out by the pool, anytime Joey wanted to play video games Jared came over, anything Joey wanted Jared was right there for him.  Jared was the best role model anyone could ask for to be in their child's life.  Joey would tell me how nice Jared is and how Jared never says anything bad and Jared is always helping his dad, and Jared is super smart. And the fact is Joey was right, Jared was all those things and more. Jared was really the sweetest boy on Earth.  Joey will never forget Jared and neither will we. Jared has taught my son so much just through his kind words, his presence and by just being Jared.  I love that Jared blessed our lives and showed my boy all that he did.  Jared made a great impact on my son and i am proud and lucky to have had Jared as a neighbor and friend.  I'm also mad as hell and sad as sad can get but greatful we had Jared.

Jared i wish you knew what a breath of fresh air you were for Joey.  The goodness in you i know has made you an angel in heaven.

 

The story of the last few months...

March 8, 2014

You may have a lot of questions. I wrote this so you may know a little more.

To start, it was hard to tell people - how do you insert into a conversation that your son has cancer?


The story of the last few months...

Jared was a sophomore at Texas A&M studying marine engineering. He started college in the fall of 2013 as normal as could be.

He started complaining about nondescript things in October like a headache, his feet hurting, and having trouble sleeping. Jared began to be hungry all the time and started to gain weight; no alarms went off. It wasn't until we were video chatting with him that we noticed the left half of his face looked funny. It was only later we realized that it was actually a slight droop, like someone who had a stroke.

We got him into see the doctor the next day.

The doctor noticed Jared was having trouble balancing and in general, problems with his whole left side. They admitted him to the hospital that day. They had no idea what was wrong; they just knew it wasn’t good. Sheila flew to Texas the next morning.


Hospitalization

So started the weeks of tests - every test you could think of, they ran. Everything kept coming back negative - even cancer tests. In the MRI tests they could see a growth in his brain, but what was it? viral? bacterial? cancer?

Sheila was at the hospital with him the whole time - they had fun just hanging out. Between tests they continued to do Jared's school work so he wasn't too far behind when he got back to class.

Going into the third week in the hospital they were really pushing hard to do a biopsy surgery; a craniotomy – an exploratory surgery to examine tissues from the growth. Without doing this, they could go no further. It was a tough decision since there were a lot of possible complications.

It was a day before his 20th birthday.


Surgery

The surgery went as well as it could have. They went in to retrieve a piece of the growth for testing, but ended up removing 80% of it - roughly the size of a marble. The doctors were clear with us from the beginning that the mass they could remove was not causing his physical symptoms; the growth that was in his hypothalamus was responsible for that, and that they were not able to remove that. The mass they removed was sent for testing.

After a full week of recovery in the ICU, the oncologist determined that it was "biologically aggressive", a doctor’s way to say cancer without really saying the word cancer. They did not know the type or grade - they would have to do more tests with the biopsy sample – it would take more time.


Thanksgiving, Cancer, and a Prison Break

Prior to any of this, we had planned to bring our family to Galveston, Texas for Thanksgiving so everyone could see where he was going to school and to share his new home with everyone else.
We had rented a house close to the beach.

The doctors didn't want to let Jared out of the hospital, but they didn't have any good reasons to keep him there. They moved him to this really gloomy ward - we had had enough – we wanted out, no more hospitals. His family was staying just a few miles down the road. We said we were taking him out for fresh air - to wheel him around the hospital. He could walk, just not safely.

As we were walking, we said the hell with it; we’re outta here – being in the hospital sucks. We all wanted out. So we went to a quiet part of the hospital, got the car, put Jared safely in the car and we were gone. Nobody at the house knew we were coming - we just showed up. It wasn’t a very good Thanksgiving, but it didn’t suck either. It was especially hard because Jared was born on Thanksgiving Day; that year my parents brought a full Thanksgiving meal to the hospital.

I did go back later that night to the hospital and have them officially discharge Jared.


Road Trip

The whole time this was going on, we were making sure Jared had the best care possible - the next question we needed answered was: Who has the best brain cancer center in the country?
A lot of searching, phone calls and opinions later, we decided on Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, Maryland.

Sheila and Jared took a few days to make the drive from Texas to Maryland – I wasn’t there but Sheila tells the story of the trip as fun; they laughed a little and enjoyed each other’s company. (We didn't want to fly Jared there; the logistics of it would have been tough.)


Maryland

It was now mid-December. We rented a cabin first near DC, then a house in Annapolis Maryland, a short drive from Johns Hopkins. We were still waiting on results from oncology departments at MD Anderson and Johns Hopkins. Our first visit with the doctors who would help Jared was frustrating. They basically told us that we had to be patient. We had to wait for a multitude of reasons: they did not have his medical records from Texas yet, no report back from oncology on what type of cancer it was, and they wanted to wait until he was healed from the previous surgery.

Christmas

Living at the house in Maryland Sheila began creating her own PT/OT sessions for him, exercise bike, walking bars, a hand bike and others. We didn’t really try to celebrate Samantha’s birthday, or make a good Christmas or New Years – it was a Christmas we would want to forget; nobody felt like being joyous. All we could muster was dinner at a Chinese place on Christmas Eve.

Throughout his ordeal, the disease seemed to progress in large stages; he would be stable for weeks, and then worsen in a few days. Just after New Years it got bad, the doctors said to bring him into the emergency room. It was snowing and cold.


Darkest Day

After a few days in Johns Hopkins they began a treatment for him – without knowing the exact cancer. They couldn’t do any chemotherapy, but they could start a generalized radiation therapy. We also began to look for any open clinical trials for all types of brain cancer, so we were ready.

The news came; glioblastoma multiforme; stage IV – terminal cancer – no cure, no treatment.


Radiation

The doctors wanted us to continue radiation treatment – but it could only buy him months, and at a cost; He would get sick from the radiation, really sick. It would not improve his current physical condition – the growth that was already there would not get smaller. Technology could only stop new cells from forming. So we chose to not pursue any further “treatment”. We asked him if he wanted to go home, of course he did.

As a parent, you do what is best for your child. We did not tell Jared the nature of his disease. Telling him wouldn’t change the outcome; it would only cause him pain. You suck it up and tell him a lie – that was what was best.


Going Home

Jared stayed awake sitting in the front seat for almost the whole drive. It was warm and sunny at home, not gray and cold like Baltimore. We got hospice care: medications, an adjustable bed like in a hospital, an extra wheelchair, a stair chair for getting him up the outside stairs – the logistical things you need.
Sheila managed every aspect of his daily care. When I say care, I mean not only his meds, food or catheter, I mean his whole well-being; the immeasurable little things that matter, she thought of them all.


The Last Weeks

The last few weeks of his life were as difficult as you could imagine. The process of the body shutting down is methodical – he was growing weak and tired, dizzy, incontinent, muscles began to atrophy, he was unable to stand, walk or feed himself. The period just before he died doesn’t represent who he was or how he lived – it’s just a process.

Perhaps I will want to write more about it someday, but for now this is as far as I can go.

One thing that really stood out though is just how strong my wife is – I always knew she was a good mother, but what she did for him – she did not leave his side for more than a few hours the whole time. How driven, smart, resourceful she is – I have no words…

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