I was just thinking about you Jaren and I miss you, The last time we spoke you said how you was proud of me for not being Tippy Towns no more and that it was about time I put the bottle down well I’ve been okay but I’m sure if you could see me know you find something to clown me about. I’ve been watching your Baby boy from afar and he’s balling for Saint Ed’s now rocking #24 wow. I keep telling everyone he’s going to hit that growth spurt like you did. One day I’ll reintroduced myself and tell him how much of a good dude you were. Thinking about you cousin much love always

Hi Jaren. It’s been 10 years since you walked out of my life. I really can’t believe this. I haven’t talked to you in so long and I never will again. This is so final and I never could have thought I wld be a parent who lost their child. But I am. Landen is doing so good. He is 14 now. Almost grown. Brooke has done such a good job in spite of all kinds of things gone wrong he has turned out to be amazing and has always had what he has needed and then some. They r moving into a new house tomorrow and I’m so happy for them. I want to mark this day. 11/20/2021 is new house day for Landen and we will see how long they stay there until Brooke builds a house in the next 18 mos.  There are so many times Landen has needed u Jaren but we are managing somehow someway. I think of you every single day. I do. I wake up to you and I go to bed to you. You will always be in my heart and soul and every fiber of my being. You are in every part of me and you will stay there FOREVER. Jaren I bet you didn’t think u meant that much to anyone did you? Yes sir you did. I have to get myself together to be able for you to see me again son. In the ten years you’ve been gone I haven’t done the right things to connect with you again. Jehovah hasn’t shut the door yet so I still have time. He is a loving and gracious Father and he gives chance after chance to us to get it right. I live for the day I will see u again. Jordan said ‘He is thinking about you’ of course and we r having dinner tonite to honor you. I sure wish u we’re here with us and you know I do. I’m going to get ready and head out to that place to straighten things up. I know you’re not there but I need u looking good irregardless. I Love you I miss you I’ll see you again my son. Until mommy Ma Dukes Big Shell holds u in my arms again. FOREVER MISSED FOREVER LOVED FOREVER REMEMBERED

Hi Jeffy. A year has gone by and here we are again. I can’t believe this. It seems like it was yesterday that I was writing you and now here a year has passed. Your ma is still on it Jaren. Still on the fussing and arguing and getting into it with your brothers just like when u were here. The more things change the more things stay the same. IKR. LANDEN texted me with a loving text about you. He misses you so much and he said so. He’s 13 now Jaren. You just would be so proud especially since he’s a mean cuss when he wants to be and has that flip mouth like u did so he’s just exactly like his daddy! He’s gorgeous I need to add. Oh how I wish u were here. I need u so much Jeff. The way u wld make me feel like we would all be ok in spite of any trouble we had. I just miss all that and wish time wld go back to when we were camping and happy and oblivious to what the future had in store for us. I’ll always wish it was me before you jeffy. I’ll never forget and neither will your brothers. On behalf of Brandon Nick Evan Micah and Jordan, we LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU AND WISH U WERE HERE AND NEED YOU. You mattered and were one of a kind Jaren. Missed and lived by so many. When we see u again we will catch up and boy do I have some stuff to tell you!!! So much. Love u and love u more and then even more. Lol. Do u think I love u enough? June 30th 2020. Bye honey I hate saying Goodbye. It just hurts too much ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hi Jaren. It’s November 2019. November will forever and always be the month of the year that makes my heart sick and wondering how anyone ever gets thru the loss of a child. It’s like I’m alive but really not. You can’t imagine how u go on and a person who meant so much in your life isn’t there anymore. As the years pass it hurts more not less as they say. Jaren I still remember the day I got that call. I still can hear it and remember where I was and who I was with just like it was yesterday. I want you to know I miss you will all my heart and soul and anything else I could muster up to feel. I know u Jeffy. I know my boy. You love me but u r glad I’m missing you. Just how u were. Lol. I think about you everyday. I think about Landen. I don’t see him anymore but he will be fine. I wish I could have taken your place so u could have lived your life. I’ve been going over pictures and when I see you I just get that grab in my heart and that ache. Omg Jaren. I just miss you. I wish I could touch those hands or anything. Well I’ve droned on and on cuz I love u so much my baby boy. I’ll never ever forget not even for a moment. Love u until
You’re in my arms hugging me and I’m welcoming you back. My beautiful Jaren. Love u ......Ma Dukes

Hi my Jaren. It’s ma dukes or Big Shell or Ma as u called me. I had different names u called me and I was so fine with it. How I wish u could call me by any of them today. You walked out of my life in 2011 leaving a gaping hole that I will never be able to fill. I’ll always wonder why u before me? I would have died for u Jaren. I want u to know that. I know that. Today I’m arguing with Nick. What else is new huh? Brandon and I are going to weed whack Gigi’s house and that’s another story. I have so much to tell u Jaren. I just miss u so much. Not a day goes by that I do t think of you or wonder what your life would be like at 35. I know u would be so proud of Landen and giving him such good advice with his sports and girls and clothes and shoes. Lol. I know u Jaren. I do. Well, just checking in and letting u know ILL NEVER FORGET. TILL THE DAY I DIE U WILL ALWAYS BE FIRST ON MY MIND UPON WAKING. LAST ON MY MIND UPON SLEEPING. Jaren, honey, I will never be ok with this. I will never understand it and will always wish u weren’t gone. Until u welcome me home Jaren and we’re walking together I’ll be FOREVER sad and missing you. Love u to the ends of the earth and beyond. Love u Mom ❤️

I'm having a hard day today....I still can't believe you are gone. As time goes by it doesn't get any easier just makes me miss you more. Landen is getting so big and needs you so much. How am I supposed to do this without you? This is not fair. I don't understand why you had to leave us. I want to pick up the phone when I'm having a bad day and call you and tell you about how naughty Landen is being and have you make me laugh. Even when things were bad you always made me laugh. Things will just never be the same...the hole will forever be empty until we meet again. Heartbroken

Today you left us 4 years ago. Jaren, what did u do? Landen just needs you so much. I need you so much sweetie. So much has happened and I'm so sorry u missed it but I will fill you in one day. I want you to know not a day goes by that u are not right here in this head and heart of mine. I'll stop missing you when I die and not a moment sooner. Love u forever and them longer than that......

Jaren, I miss u so much some days I can't stand it. Your father is now sleeping and I will miss him too. Can u believe that? I hv so much to tell u son, just so much. Love u forever and then back!