- 65 years old
- Date of birth: Nov 21, 1947
- Date of passing: May 9, 2013
|Please join Jay in his Spirit Journey with your prayers as he travels in the timeless, formless realms he so loved.|
"Dear Jay, I miss you so much, it's still hard to imagine a world without you in it. But at the same time, I feel you often as I sit in meditation wrapped in your brown wool shawl. I know you are a part of me, and i know that when you died, you took a part of me with you to the other side. Thank you!"
"Whenever I need spiritual guidance, I think of you, dear brother Jay. Always here, in my heart, showing me what's important. Thank you for always being a guide to the present. Jai Ma!"
"Thank you for your generosity of spirit and many kindnesses. I remember a particular evening today when you hosted Sri Karunamayee and anyone who wished to join in her offering of devotional music. Your deep connection inspired a spontaneous gift of a treasured Ektare, a unique double gourd tambura.. It is being played today in your honor. Jai Jai Ma"
"Wow, 3 years... A friend spent the weekend here in "Jay's room" and had a waking dream that she was patting him on the head, and that he was very happy.
Jay, you will truly be "forever missed." Thank you so much for the ongoing guidance of the spirit, as well as your ever so present guidance on how and who to disburse your stuff to! The miracles continue to abound.
For all of you local people, Sangita and I talked the other day of planning a gathering soon to make tsa-tsas out of Jay's ashes. We will keep you posted.
May we all continue to grow and push our limits thanks to the loving reminder and example of our buddy Jay."
"Thank you Jay for all the love and light and worship. Jai Ma!
"Dear Jay Happy Birthday - up there in the ethers. Thank you for your visit at Samhain. I am remembering all that you said and it gives me strength to know that you and Bruce are among those on the other side helping to give birth to the next chapter on this planet. It's pretty tough here these days Jay - I wish I could come over and smoke a bowl and talk it all over with you. Yet I feel such deep gratitude that you are still watching over us all - and also that you are outside that broken body, free to fly the way that only you know how. Love Margot"
"Hey Jay, Missing you more than ever. There is a place in my heart that only you can fill. Since you left your body, I still converse with your spirit. Thank you for continuing to be there here, and for your constant inspiration and full on encouragement to be all I/we/us can be. Love you and HBD!!!!"
"Jay, you will always live in my heart. Jai Ma dear one."
"Dear Jay, I am remembering you on your second anniversary of your passing into formlessness. It seems longer in some ways, since you passed, then again, the pain of losing your presence here with us is still so strong. I miss you!
I am also happy for you, you were soooo ready to let go of that broken body. I meditated on you and called out to you on Sunday - and you appeared in this lovely body - young, whole, walking strong. Still Jay - Still that cutting edge, with the warm heart.
Still warning me that there are harder times a comin' but that staying in the moment is the only way to ride those waves. I love you, and miss you terribly.
I feel you Jay, thank you for everything."
"Dearest Jay bird - you are still loved and remembered. I feel you guiding me often as I work at the gate, helping others sail through. Bruce is getting ready to join you Jay - Please meet him and help him as he passes through from this world into the next world. We are all praying for him and for you. Thank you for my life. Margot"
"I miss you Jay. Our session filled with prayers, blood and worship, we're so powerful and filled with purpose.I can see your face filled with adoration, tears glistening. You touched my heart. I will never forget you dear friend."
"Hey Jay's Spirit and Friends!
Yes, today would be the Master Skorp Skotsman's birthday! How deeply you are missed, dear Jay.
Missed, remembered, still living in my heart, mind and soul. Conversations and laughter daily.
To all you local folks, Gabe and I are wanting to have another gathering here. We'll shout out a few dates soon and hopefully will see you all back here at the Goofy Gompa before too long.
Best and love,
"Happy Birthday Jay! You are always in my heart. Love, Veronica Monet"
"Oh Teresa - Thank you so much for that wonderful letter. I met Jay after this period in his life around 1983 or 1984. I have always wondered about his days in the Order, and it's great to have a better picture of what happened during those times. I have met many of you along the way, but no one has really shared what things were like for all of you back then. It would be great to learn more, have you ever thought of writing a book? I feel that your order was one of the founders of New Age and a huge contributor to many of the spiritual paths that are in use today. It's important for our culture to take note of and remember how we got to where we are today."
"This is forwarded by me from Teresa Sanmiguel
I first met Jay in 1970, in the funky chapel of the "Golden Dawn Christian Community" on Haight street. He often schlepped one or the other of us around in his little hand-operated station wagon, and quite a few of us learned -with Jay hanging on for dear life, his long hair streaming - how to negotiate his wheelchair on those steep hills and stairs. I was always amazed at his willingness to cheerfully submit to our learning curve! I remember more than one ride when he was wheeled to a screeching halt with a laugh and a "Whew!"
Driving across the Golden Gate Bridge one day, early in our friendship, I had been pondering whether or not to submit myself to the by laws of the CC that required people to have a full time job in order to join. I had a part time job that was sufficient for my needs and then some. I'm sure Jay was feeling a bit exasperated with my sidestepping, as he suddenly exclaimed , " Teresa! We need people to carry the Light NOW! You can be an artist later, or alongside, but we need you NOW!" He was right, of course, and the next morning at Communion I asked for a sign. Then I hopped on the bus to work, walked in the front door of the studio space I shared with 3 other designers, and one of the owners walked right up to me and said " hey, do you want a full time job?"
OK then. I jumped right in, and with John Hatgidakis at the helm as priest, and Jay, and about 40-50 other members, we created an entity that caused enormous growth in those of us who were paying attention, and made ripples into the community. Still on Haight street in the early stages, we opened the lobby for coffee hour a couple evenings a week. Sometimes interesting people dropped by, sometimes they stayed around. One evening, I was there handing out the snacks, with Jay and a couple of others. Joanna Hostetler may have been one of the group, don't remember. This group of people from some kind of fundamentalist church around the block came in and proceeded to "exorcise" us, praying loudly that the evil spirits leave the building. Then they turned around and walked out. Jay, in his inimitable nonplussed way, said "that worked!"
By 1976 the CC had moved to the corner of Carl and Parnassus, into an old bank building, and Jay had moved to the place on Bennett. In 1977 my daughter Simone was born and my partner and I were caught mid-move between Stinson Beach and a place we'd rented in Inverness, but last minute building inspections had hung us up. So Jay allowed us to move in with him for a couple of months. We were all still a close knit group, and Michelle Rogers, Terri Sisler, Joanna and I managed the kitchen and cleaning, and kept the coffee, tea, and cookies coming for a full load of people coming through on a daily basis. Jay was a people magnet. The music and the fireplace in winter kept everyone going. Simone, at 6 months, practiced walking holding on to Jay's wheelchair as he did laps up and down the hallway. ( the nude with the red hair still hanging there last time I was over was one of my paintings). One day I heard him bellowing from the kitchen "TERESA! come get yer kid!" I came flying from the other room to find him pulled into the fridge with the door wide open, and Simone planted on her little butt right behind him so he couldn't back out. Simone spoke her first word standing in front of a roaring fire in the fireplace - "HOT!"
The day my husband and my now 3 yr. old moved to Hawaii, we looked out the window of the car at our beloved dog, Nicholas, in Jay's arms, with John and Michelle Rogers, and their little boy Justice, standing by. The dog went to live with The Rogers. Not long after our move, Michelle and John were pretty much up in the Laytonville area, Terri had moved to England, the Teitlebaum's found their own place somewhere nearby in Marin, and Joanna became Tom Hostetler's wife. John Hatgidakis had been reassigned to Minneapolis - for some reason a place where we had always joked about as the outpost none of the priests in the order wanted to be sent.
The years that group of us spent together learning to work with the Light, and opening ourselves to the guidance of Oneness, were years of profound shifts for all of us. I'm grateful to have been part of it.
Aloha, and best wishes,
"Today, I can strongly feel the love and bond that we all have, a bond that grew from the wonderful being named Jay. I cannot be at the gathering, but I posted a new video to my Youtube page, one of a performance I did with him in 1990 called "Wheels of Alchemy." Jay's specific part begins at 7:30 minutes into the piece. He also played with me in the creation of two other works on my page: "Into the Echo Chamber" and "Dreamweave." You can access them all at https://www.youtube.com/user/PamelaKayWalker/videos"
"Thanks for the reminder about this being the anniversary of Jay's passing. I've posted a new photo of him in commemoration."
"Miss you Jay! Was just thinking about you this week. Guess I knew it had been a year since your passing, although not consciously. I imagine you are still making music wherever you are not. Sending you love and gratitude always."
I look forward to seeing as many of you as possible on Saturday May 10th.
This will mark one year and one day since Jay departed.
I'm thinking potluck, begin gathering around 3 o'clock, going till 9 ish?
The potluck will be easy, simply bring whatever you feel inclined
to share, be it food or drink-I'm sure it'll all work out.
I'll probably have a few crockpots full of something or another,
Gabe will add some soup or salad or... Our new housemate
(another "downstairs Susan") also has offered to cook something up.
The vision for this Celebration has been scaled back from a year ago,
but the elements will be the same. We'll peruse his art, listen to his
music, if anyone has any videos of J's we can watch those, tell some
stories, do some dismantling of the mandala i.e potlatching, and
hopefully sing and play some music!
The house is still in transition energetically-probably will be for
years! I've been fully moved upstairs since Mar 1, but Jay had so much stuff
much of it is still here and there and scattered around. Some
is "part of the house" and some will find homes with you all.
Please spread the word to those who loved Jay.
Best and love to you all,
"Jay had the most translucent and luminous blue eyes! As one poster asserted, the "outrageously creative ways" he "chose to pray every day" inspired, delighted and moved me very deeply. Jay was one of my teachers and he will always have a special place in my heart."
"I just found this site after an email to Jay bounced and I googled his name to find a way to reach him. I knew Jay only briefly -- photographing him one afternoon with his dear friend Veronica -- but even from this brief encounter it was clear to me that he was a wonderful, brilliant, creative, loving, inspiring man. I am so sad to hear of his passing."
"Hard to believe it has been 6 and a half months since Jay's departure for the other realms. Miss you Baba! Happy Birthday!"
"I had a dream a few nights ago that j. came back home as if he had been on a long vacation. I was pretty surprised of course. He said "I've decided I want to open a dance studio..."
dance on j!"
"Hi Jay, Just thinking of you in this moment, and this one and this one. Thanks for the lovely shawl. I will treasure it as I have treasured all these years of knowing you."
"A lovely poem I just found that Jay sent me earlier this year:
Turning all moments into
For a moment
Then when we forget
take a moment
We don't see each other
Just the rendering of our mind
So lets forgive
& praise each other
For all we do not see
So good seeing You
& breathing the same air
"Today my heart chakra was blasted open and tears flowed as I watched this video. With all the troubles Jay had with digestion, I couldn't help but feel profound joy that this device may bless so many with paralysis in the very near future. http://www.upworthy.com/the-wheelchair-is-2300-years-old-theres-finally-a-better-option?c= Namaste."
"On the day after the 49th-day-after-Jays-passing-party, I arrived on Jays doorstep, up from So Cal to see why Jay wasn't answering my phone calls. I missed meeting you all, but felt so blessed to sit in His Prescence which was so palpable. We had a powerful spirit communion and Susan was so wonderful and embracing allowing me to be with my dear lover/friend/teacher and so much more. Jai J"
"Jay opened many doors for me. Our first adventure together was working on a video with several other artists with disabilities. He turned us loose in his sound studio to make the music track.The result is on You Tube. Jay is a glowing image with a candle and a wind instrument in the background. His voice is there, everywhere. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fG4YT2q9qhY"
"I've been going over the correspondence that Jay and I kept for many years. He emailed art pieces that he drew on his ipad, poems, dreams, devotionals. I made the resolution at 150 dpi so they can be printed. I've attached a link to a folder where I've archived his work. Enjoy!
"Hey all, RE: Memorial for Jay: We are thinking a Celebration of J's Life on the 1 year anniversary of his passing, the weekend of May 9-10-11 2014, deets TBA. Please do not wait to gather on your own tho! Tend to your own need, grief, etc in ways that will bring you healing and closer to J's loving spirit, but hope to see you in 2014!"
"I will fondly remember Jay, he was a kind and gentle spirit who lived with grace despite significant physical disability.
He shared his music his yoga and his humor during our time together. He was one of my favorite patients and I pray his spirit is free and at peace
Bill Sullivan RN, NP"
"I can imagine you now in complete bliss in your omnipresent weightless freedom that eternity offers and I celebrate your breath within this life that you so skillfully followed and found god within again and again. I celebrate you now as you become whole with that breath again as i can feel your freedom and vitality that is now yours in totality."
"It took a great deal of courage to be in your body, i remember you used to tell me it was like being an octopus floating in water. Jay you were an absolute angel in my life, mentor and friend. i learned deeply about myself through the outrageously creative ways you chose to pray every day."
"you were a guardian at the door of the divine for me, always straightening out my mind with profound clarity and soulful intelligence.
My heart cries to say goodbye to you in this life and rejoices in the knowing that you are now released back into the warm nurturing palms of the Divine Mother you so effortlessly worshiped every moment of your life."
"Its bittersweet to wish you farewell my dear friend Jay. You were a pillar in my life for so many years, helping me to navigate some complex realms of life with such intensely unconditional love. The vast beauty of your spirit was evident to anyone who crossed your path and the depth of prayer within your life was bone shaking and raw and authentic and kind."
Such spontaneous generosity of heart and soul you have shared and continue to share. Thank you. Your luminosity brings great joy and inspiration still.
"One week since J's departure and he is everywhere! A Hafiz poem for today:
As myriad things and
Playing a game
Has kissed you and said,
I mean, you're Really IT!"
It does not matter
What you believe or feel
For something wonderful,
Is someday going
"Sri Sri Exarji Baba Jay Ki Jai! Your leaving behind that burdensome body of yours left a void in me, I admit. Then I tune into the luminous You that's always been There before, and I find that you're now more Here than ever. Love you, Brother. Aum Abba Hum!"
"If you have more to say than this space permits, go to "stories" and enter it there. I will upgrade this site to "premium" soon so we can all have the spaciousness we need!"
"On behalf of Northwestern High School's Class of 1966, we express sadness for the passing of our classmate, Jay. And those of us in Brentwood Majorettes, who marched to the beat of his different drum, will keep his memory forever in our hearts."
Baba Jay, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You for all the joy, laughter, wisdom, love, music, insight and abundant light that you shared, a heart so open and sweetly suffused with Shakti. "Breath and Name, Breath and Name" you encouraged again and again, short and sweet, one breath at a time, in the light of Neem Karoli Baba RAMRAMRAM"
"Vast, vast love to Jay, elder brother, soul companion, angel free of the body at last, my divine friend. The tears are for me, missing you so badly, for you there is only freedom and joy. Love forever and ever, cherished friend!"
"Jay .. I'll miss you my friend, but I know you are with Divine Mother now and you are free ! I'll always remember you, our trips to mount vision,
seeing the great Ma's like Karunamayi Ma and all our times with Bhag.
you are a great teacher who pointed out the path for others and helped them when they stumbled. Jai Ma Jai Jay"
"I am taking pause, at this time, to remember my friend Jay. He was one of the most open hearted people I ever had the privilege to know, a saint, who I could always count on for wise counsel. In the last few years, it has been hard for me to make it up to Marin and thus I did not get to see him in person, which was always such a treat. Prayers on your Journey, beloved Jay. Jai Ma!"
"Dear Everyone, The tributes and prayers of joy for J. have been so beautiful, I wanted to create a site for others to share in the generosity."
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