Tribute to My Father
My Father turned 89 on October 29, 2013. Mother and my father were married in 1954, and they celebrated their 60th anniversary on June 4th of this year. He was born to James Lone and Lucy Patsy Akridge in Belfalls, Texas. My Dad grew up on a farm outside of Temple. He lived in Oenaville, Belfalls, Troy, and Temple while he was growing up.
What He Liked
I called him Daddy. He called me Sweetie Pie or Cindy. He had grey eyes, was about 5'9", loved the color green and orange, loved sports especially the Texas Longhorns, sweet tea in his round tea glass filled with ice, anything chocolate or basically a desert, pickles, and most of all God. He loved to talk and laugh with friends or anyone he met! As a child, I use to think we would never make it home after church because he had so many people to visit with at church. He loved people. He loved dressing very colorfully. He watched the clock. He would want to know how long he had been in surgery, what time it was when he woke up, how long it took me to get home, and how long it took for his cards to reach me. He knew if I mailed him a card on Tuesday, then it would arrive on Thursday.
He loved watching Johnny Carson, Welcome Back Kotter (John Travolta), All In the Family (Archie’s character), Three’s Company (John Ritter), and David Letterman (only early in his career).
Who He Was
He was a Christian. His Spirit showed his love of Christ. I am sorry now that I never asked my father about his conversion experience. I never doubted for one moment how much he loved The Lord. J.L. wrote: J.L. accepted Jesus Christ as his Savior at the age of 10 in a revival service at Belfalls Baptist Church. I called him one Sunday afternoon in January while he was at the rehabilitation home. My phone call woke him up from a nap. He told me he didn't have time to talk because he was getting ready for church. I asked him how he was going to get to church. I could tell he was offended by the question. He told me - of course - he was driving himself. He loved driving and cars! This is when I realized he had been day dreaming-dreaming of going back to church again. In today's world, how many people have this dream? He was never able to return to church. My Dad – how I loved him for his commitment to God!
He was also a farm boy who had to pick cotton. He told me how much it would hurt his hands. We went back and videoed where he grew up while he explained what it meant to him. Just a few years ago, we went back and videoed where Two Mama lived and where my grandparents were killed. This was very painful for him, so we didn’t speak of it often, but I would call or email to him I remembered his parent’s birthdays.
My Father was everything to me. He loved me unconditionally like Jesusloved us. He was the best Father a girl could have. We had our fights and disagreements, but he always made sure we came to an understanding and made up. At times, he knew he had really hurt me, and he apologized to me. He was compassionate to others and me. I never heard my father cuss or take the Lord's name in vain. He always tried to be the best Dad and Christian. Of course, he wasn't perfect, but he made a conscious decision to try. He lived his life as Christ commanded to the best of his ability.
He loved receiving cards and sending cards. He always had the prettiest Christian Christmas cards. Most years he would send a letter, but he always wanted to make it personal and would write in each card. He was always on time with his Christmas cards. In his latter years, I think he worked hard to be the first to get his cards out after Thanksgiving! It was a competition for him!
He bought me the prettiest dresses as a little girl which I still have. He had great taste in clothes which I believe he learned from his sister, Eulaine. She loved clothes! I think he related well to the women in the house because of his close relationship with his youngest sister. He always loved to see us dress up. When he dressed, he was very colorful. Every Friday at the TEA, he would dress in his orange leisure suit with his white boots. He was ready for the Saturday UT game!
My Father would never intentionally hurt anyone under any conditions. He always appreciated anything I did for him, and I appreciated his unconditional love for me which he showed through everything he did for me. In fact, I wrote letters to both my parents thanking them specifically for all they did. I highly recommend children doing this for their parents.
He had fun buying cars and driving! I put together a photo book of his life for him which we had fun identifying and finding pictures of each car. We discovered he had 18 cars in his life.
He drove his grandmother (Two mama) back to Kentucky in 1950 in his 1948 Chevrolet Club Coop. In 2006, I drove him back to the Kentucky family reunion to meet new relatives, which he enjoyed emailing regarding our family genealogy.
He was such a good son and brother. As his siblings past away, sometimes I would go with him in December to put flowers on his parent’s gravesite in Temple, Texas. He wrote his sisters routinely. In Junior High School, I started to ask questions about our family roots. He started asking his sister Althea. She started finding cousins and learning about our family. I gave Dad my old computer on July 4, 1997. Until last year, he had learned and loved getting email from everyone. He looked forward to getting his mail (Email or snail mail). He learned to enter all the information he obtained about our family in a genealogy program which I am using today to complete our search.
After we moved to Georgetown, he gathered people going to work at the Texas State Capitol and started a carpool. He drove everyday from February 1968 to Feb 1983 when he retired. He rarely took any vacation or sick leave, so it was nearly every day.
He would listen to sermons on Saturday night and Sunday morning by Dr. Charles Stanley. As we were getting ready for church, he would be listening to sermons on his radio.
He loved Christmas and putting out his Christmas lights. For the last two years, he was in a rehab home and couldn’t see his Christmas lights. He would have me take a picture of his “Wagon Wheel” with lights and would change them up and ask me how I liked them. But he always remembered what Christmas was about: the birth of our Savior – Jesus Christ.
He was very proud of his family and loved them with all his heart. He was proud of the Akridge name, and he should have been because most of the family has worshiped God from when they left England (which I have found they were Baptist). He missed his family as they left Earth for Heaven, but he is rejoicing with them today.
He Took Care of Me and I Tried To Take Care of Him
He was so thoughtful and would always send me a card for special occasions and newspaper clippings of my college tennis scores with notes. He would bring me diet drinks to college-which I couldn't stand the taste (but never told him) just to have a reason to check on me. I was grateful he cared to check on me. He would clip newspaper articles and send them to me if he thought it was something interesting to me. He insisted on driving long distance for interviews with me. He always followed behind me in his car if we were returning from the same place to protect me. He wanted me to call him immediately when I arrived home - even as an adult - from visiting him. After I showed him how to email, he would send me several notes a week, which I am grateful. I have been reading the notes lately where he tells me he loves me and is proud of me and that I will always be his daughter. These are wonderful words I will cherish, but his face and eyes always told me he was proud of me in life and how much he loved me.
He took his grandmother (Two Mama) back to see her relatives she had left in Kentucky when she left home, and I was able to take him back to meet new relatives in 2006 which was his last big trip. He kept in touch with many of the relatives and our immediately family.
My Dad would never complain. I could tell when he was in pain - I just looked into his eyes. I tried to mow the yard for him to reduce his back pain. He loved for me to give him a massage until the end when his body hurt so bad. When I was sore from playing tennis, he would vibrate my muscles as a child. Sometimes he would put it on my head for fun. He took care of me, and I took care of him.
My father taught me so many things: how to ride a tricycle and bike, hit a softball, play tennis, balance a checkbook, but the most important thing he showed me was to study the Word of God (by example), to be fair to all people, to go to church, and to love God with all my heart and to obey him. He loved his country. He would put he flag out for every national holiday, so it is appropriate he passed near the 4th of July!
Dad didn't want to live in a wheelchair or go to a nursing home. He had to go to a rehab center the last two Decembers of his life. This March he called me, and I couldn't understand a word he said, but he was crying. I had the nurse go to his room to tell me what was wrong. Nothing was wrong. They were good tears, he said. He was going home to 1611 Mimosa! My Father wanted to die at home. He was very lonely at the rehab home and just wanted to go home.
God, Family, and County were very important to him.
My father taught me to be fair. My husband tells me it cannot always be fair. But if I have anything to do about it, everything will be fair to honor both my Fathers in Heaven today.
What He Did
He was a devoted Baptist. He served as Sunday School Administrator, on the finance committees, building committees, Sunday School teacher, and so much more. And needless to say he was a Deacon at the church. In his later years, he helped count the money on Monday. On Saturdays, when he couldn’t do other things to serve God, he would fold the church bulletins. It was hard for him to give up teaching Sunday School, but it became too hard for him to prepare a lesson. He was determined to always find a way to serve God.
He always made sure we went church when the doors were open: Sunday Morning, Sunday Evening for Training Union and the Evening Service, and Wednesday for GAs and Evening Service.
He studied his Sunday School lessons on Saturday. When he was teaching, he would come home from work and start preparing his lesson on Monday. He would work all week on his lesson, and he typed them all. He typed on the typewriter his parents gave him for graduation. He made sure we were prepared and would ask us if we had read our Sunday School lesson each week.
He would say the most beautiful prayers at the Sunday table, but I remember his prayer on December 25, 2007. We had just learned his sister Althea had passed away on Christmas Day. He thanked God for taking her home on such a special day.
He was faithful to the Longhorns! Dad’s hearing was poor. I think this is because he would watch the UT Football games on television. He didn't like the TV announcers, so he would put his ear transistor into his left ear, sitting in his favorite chair, while watching all games. I think the transistor was a little loud which caused his hearing loss. He had Vince Young and Colt McCoy’s picture on his study wall! It didn’t need framing. He just cut it out of the newspaper and pinned it to the wall.
He was proud he attended Temple Junior College, UT -one semester with his nephew Neil, and graduated from the teaching school Southwest Texas State. He was proud to be a Texan, a life long Democrat, and most of all a Christian. He held about every office -sometimes more than once - in Lions Club where he met many of his friends. The year he was governor he had Mother paint a Lion statue green. They is the strangest Lion I have ever seen, but Mother did a good job.
As a little girl, I always loved hiding in the house and scaring him after he got home from work. He would fall asleep in his chair and "doze" for a while before supper. He was up so early and drove his carpool to Austin for years. He would tell us he was just dozing! Unfortunately, his sleeping was one sign of heart disease we didn't recognize it at the time and so was his snoring! He could really snore before his heart attack!
Bonding With My Father
At church, I would sit near my father in the second pew on the right side of the church in Georgetown. I believe everyone would agree, this was his pew at Crestview Baptist. When we were seated in church, he would put his arm around me. He wanted me to play the piano for church which I reluctantly agreed to do it for him on Sunday Evenings. He wanted me to sing in the choir as I matured on Sunday mornings. He tried to get me to play the organ, but I just couldn't do it. My legs were way too short! Because of all this interaction with my Father, I learned to love the old hymns, which meant so much to him.
My Dad loved gardening, planting trees, and taking pictures of his plants. He enjoyed the school business until it took a toll on his health. He loved to listen and watching Longhorn Sports. In fact, we went to one of the last basketball games to be played at Gregory Gym in February 1977 against Baylor. He took me to my first UT and Aggies Thanksgiving game in College Station before I was one year old. I remember all the excitement of going to the Longhorn games in Memorial Stadium with him. Then, we would go to Whataburger for a hamburger and shake - mine Vanilla - his Chocolate and hamburger!
Our Fall Season revolved around Texas Football, and I mean The University of Texas football! I remember sitting in front of our black and white TV in San Saba watching the UT games with all the static. I also dressed myself as a football player in my foot pajamas, huge slip, and my bonnet as my helmet when I was about three years old. I even gave him the Hook 'em Horns sign as a gift one year as I was growing up. Later, he received a watercolor of Bevo for a gift and a pen and ink drawing of Bevo. You could give him anything Longhorn and never go wrong. His last words to my husband were, “Keeping rooting for the Horns!”
My favorite baby picture is the one with my Father in front of the mirror holding me. I could tell he loved me from the start, and he was going to take care of me. The look in his eye told everything. I will never forget his smile, and the smile in his eyes when he looked at me. His smile said he loved me. My father loved me, and I knew it. He taught me how to love unconditionally with patience and giving in my heart.
In 1968 at the Hemisphere in San Antonio, we went to the top of the tower together. In Mexico, we climbed the pyramids together. We rode the rides at Six Flags together.
He gave me my first Polaroid camera, which started my photography passion. He picked out my Gwen (from Switzerland) watch from and gave it to me for my fourth birthday. He reserved the Elementary gym for my 1968 birthday because we were moving from Burnet to Georgetown later that year.
My father was mad at me for two weeks in 1975. I went into Austin and had Steve Seer cut my hair from my waist to above my neck. My father didn’t talk to me for two weeks. He was so mad. He loved long hair. One night, Dad and I watched my Grandmother Akridge take her bun down. I was so amazed she was able to get so much hair on her head - it went below her waist.
How He Influenced Me
He taught me how to ride a tricycle and bicycle, keep my checkbook, write a check, play tennis, and many more things. He had me practice the piano at home with him singing the hymns as he stood behind me, which was a weekly occurrence. He loved to sing the old hymns. As I aged, I understand now.
Because he listened to Doctor Stanley at my parent's house, I had prayed - if we ever had the opportunity to move - God, please let it be to Atlanta so I can go to the First Baptist Church of Atlanta, Georgia. God answered my prayers!
My father was the one who sent Brother Mike Cox out to track me down during a revival when Lewis McDonald (my cousin's husband) was preaching. He wanted to make sure I was saved in the fourth grade at the revival. I was! Remember, my father was 10 when he accepted Christ, so he was determined I had reached the age of accountability and should be saved. Because of my Dad, I wasn't just saved, but learned and grew in the spirit of Go to continue to expand my understanding of him. I learned I must obey God. If I obeyed, he would bless me.
As I sat in church in April 12, 2014 (Palm Sunday), I thought about my father. The congregation was singing, When I Survey the Wondrous Cross was being sung. I could just see and hear my father singing behind me when I played the piano for him. All my memories came flooding back as his time was drawing nearing. All those wonderful memories came back because of a song we shared.
I will never forget so many of my Dad's favorite church songs. Each time I hear them, they will always remind me of him. He didn't listen to other songs- only old Christian hymns. I just hope I don’t start crying each time they are sung.
Some of his favorite hymns were: In the Garden, How Great Thou Art, The Old Rugged Cross, Rock of Ages, I’ll Fly Away, Count Your Blessings, and more.
He encouraged me to take up one of his favorite sports -tennis (beside football)! He brainwashed me into going to THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS! At the last minute, he asked if I would rather go to A&M. This shocked me, but it shouldn't because he has a legacy of being fair. My father was always fair. He told me he saw his Mother not being fair to a family member while growing up. It really made an impression on him. He would keep an envelope with all his Christmas expenses divided in dollars by his children (or the girls). He didn't give us the same gifts, but he did keep track of total dollars spent. He made sure the money came out to the penny. Due to my father, I always want to make things fair!
He also watched the big three tennis grand slams on our TV with me - at a time when the screen could become fuzzy. We weren’t happy at those moments! Another family tradition was watching the Kentucky Derby. In 2006, when I drove my parents to Kentucky we stopped by Churchill Downs and had the full tour! We watched the last races of the year.
Dogs
He gave me my long lasting connection with dogs. There has only been a brief time in college when I didn't have a dog in my life. Unfortunately, the first dogs he gave us, Pepsi and Pepper, ran away - never to be seen again. In Burnet, he gave me my first Beagle as a birthday present. I had my second Pepsi from second grade until my Freshman year of college when he passed away in the Fall. My Father had him in the garage when he made me go back to school. I wanted to stay until Pepsi took his last breath, but Dad wouldn't let me. I had to trust my Dad to take care of him. He lovingly placed him under the Forsythia in the back corner of our yard.
The best gift I could give my parents ended up being their dogs. We gave them a Brittany Spaniel and a Chihuahua named Velvet. Steve bought me Brutus the Brittany for Christmas. Dad didn't want to get attached and told me to take him back. We had just our dogs, and he didn't want to go through the pain again. He was a little mad at us for brining him home. I’m glad I didn't listen to my Dad this time because he ended up being the family pet after I left home and bringing so much joy to them. In fact, when I had a place for Brutus, the family wouldn't give him up.
When we moved to Georgetown, he decided to breed Beagles. We had two litters. In the first litter, we only had one puppy – Ringo – which he gave to Uncle Wayne. In the second litter, we had Lisa, Sheryl, and Susie.
I ended up breeding dogs to bring happiness to others because of my Dad. Steve and I brought Chihuahua puppies from East Texas to sell in Georgetown. One was left – a little black puppy. My Father looked at her and said, "I always wanted a little black puppy”. When I returned to East Texas, my parents put an ad in the paper to sell her without telling me. A lady called in response to the ad. By that time, they decided they couldn’t part with her. Thank goodness they didn't. She was treated as the third daughter! After Dad's quadruple by-pass, he walked Velvet until she had to be put to sleep. She kept him going and alive. Today, I wonder if this is why I am partial to my raising black brindle Cairns. My Father never wanted much, so I was happy to give him Velvet. He gave me a wonderful friend in my Beagle Pepsi, and I didn't realize at the time we gave him two wonderful companions in Brutus and Velvet.
Our Project
We had a reunion where Althea told us about our heritage. Aunt Althea was able to keep track of the family names better than we could, so I showed him how to use a genealogy program, which helped us tremendously. Just last month, I was able to tell him I had finally found our connection to George Washington, which she told us about. I just wished he had been his old self, and we could have enjoyed the new discoveries more-like the old days. Recently, I found out he has a cousin which is the first cousin to Dr. Criswell from First Baptist Church in Dallas, Texas. My father loved listening to him. We could have had so much fun with all the new information about our family. It is sad because I don’t have him to share every piece of our history. I have more exciting discoveries to make about our family and will miss sharing my discoveries with my Dad.
On his birthday in 2013, I collected his DNA. Through 23andme.com, I'm finding more cousins as my Aunt Althea did. All of us are helping each other find more about our family heritage. We shared this hobby, and I plan to continue to finish the project for him and Aunt Althea. In the first quarter of 2014, I was able to meet two new cousins on the Bennett side of the family from California who have more information about Two Mama's side of the family. Dad entered each child’s birthday as they were born into the family tree. When I am finished, I will send each family member a link to the family tree.
Since January 2014, I have been working hard on our family genealogy. We are a family of hard workers, farmers, preachers, and politicians. What I have found interesting are references to the Baptists from England. In fact, our new cousins from California pointed out something I had taken for granted. Nearly all the families went to the First Baptist Church in the towns they lived. In the obituaries, the family members are described as being devoted to God. We have been a family devoted to God through many generations.
My father took the time to give me good memories of him, which I can keep all my life. I am so thankful to my Father for giving me so many memories and being concerned that Christ lived in my heart forever.
He had the best heart and wanted the best for everyone. He was a very loyal and devoted father to me. I will never forget anything about him. I will miss my father, but know God has fulfilled his promises to him. He is out of pain.
I am his daughter, and he will always be a part of me.
God continued to bless my father and give him continued extensions on his life. His brothers and one sister weren't afforded this opportunity.
I am and always have been very proud of my Father. I know he loved me, and I loved him beyond all words. I will miss my father, but he fought a long hard battle. He is now with The Lord and pain free. I know when he arrived home he was greeted by his first family.
My Father was welcomed to Heaven by his Mother and Father who died in an automobile accident in 1965, his two sisters (Althea and Eulaine), his brothers (Wayne and Albert), his grandmother To-mama (Permelia Wallace Bennett) who he loved dearly, and many friends who have gone before him.
I wanted to be at my Father’s side for his last breath and prayed for years. Unfortunately, family problems prevented this from happening. At the last moment, I tried to get home. I was an hour away in Waco when I was told he had already gone. My Father is heaven took care of my Earthly Father for me just has my father took care of my dog when he was dying.
We went home on the Sunday before his death. He looked into my eyes while I spoke. He was able to understand everything I was telling him. I did the hardest thing I have ever done. I had to tell me father it was time to leave this Earth that his family and God were waiting for him. I told him that I loved him, and he had been a wonderful father. I asked him if he understood. He said he did. I gave him one final hug. I had told him that he gave the best hugs in the world. He always made sure he gave me a big hug even if it took all his strength. I kissed him for the last time and told him I loved him for the last time. We had had many times we thought it could be the last time. He tried to tell me goodbye in March, but I told him I didn’t think it was time. I reminded him of this, and he smiled. My father isn’t on this Earth, but he is in Heaven now and in my heart always. Now, I am not separated from him. Since he is with God and God is in my heart, he is with me daily.
Legacy
My father wrote: The dictionary defines “LEGACY” as something coming from an ancestor or predecessor. Micah 6:8 states: “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act JUSTLY and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” To leave a Godly legacy, I have tried to live with integrity, to relate with compassion, and to obey with humility.
Thank You
1. All of my Dad’s friends.
2. His buddies from Temple Junior College (H.A. and John).
3. His best man from Michigan - Floyd.
4. I am thankful for my cousin James and my husband Steve for sharing Longhorn sports information with Dad . James and my Dad shared many emails regarding UT athletics. James, my Dad, and my husband Steve couldn't wait for Longhorn Football to begin. They would start anticipating the Fall season in the Spring! If you had nothing else to talk about, you could always talk football with Dad.
5. His family for loving him!
Submitted by: His Daughter – Lucinda Akridge Girdner
