Joe and I were friends for a year before we got together. When I was a student at Reed college, I purchased an old Oldsmobile "boat" car. It was pretty old, and always needed something. So I took it up to the gas station up the street, and the guy told me that he had just purchased the gas station, but that his "crew from San Diego were on their way up (this was probably 1969 or 1970. And the "crew" was Joe and his friend Skip) and could I bring my car back then when the after the crew and equipment got there. So I brought my car back, and I met Joe briefly. I remember seeing Joe and thinking to myself "there's an attractive guy" or something to that effect, and my girlfriend whispering in my ear "my, my!" when she saw him.
Anyway, after that, I kept running into him places.
One time I was I was at the college (where I was majoring in art and doing ceramic and pottery) and I was unloading 100 lb. bags of clay from the truck of my car into the pot shop, and I saw him across the parking lot, helping a fellow female student change a tire. Not knowing the relationship between the two, I decided not to acknowledge that I recognized him. But, as Joe tells it: "I saw this beautiful blonde girl in a tank top unloading 100 lb bags of clay from her car, and went over to help her". So he came over and helped me with the clay and we acknowledged that we had met before, we chatted a bit and then each went on about our business.
Another time I saw him at the grocery with a woman (who I later learned was his girlfriend Linda). I recognized him, but did not say anything to him, thinking his girlfriend might be annoyed (later I learned she would have been. He said she used to sit across the street and spy on him while he was at work and then quiz him about women he had interacted with while he was at work).
So knowing that Joe worked up the street and the gas station, and realizing that we liked each other from the time he helped me with the clay, I would often take my car there when it needed work, and sometimes I would just walk up there and hang out with him while he worked. We became friends, and nothing more, I knew about Linda, and during that time I started living with my boyfriend, Chaz. When I hooked up with Chaz, we got rid of my car, and Chaz helped my buy an old panel van, which was a lot better for me for getting pottery supplies. So then Chaz and I would take my truck to Joe when we needed help with it. Chaz was sort of into cars too, and Joe and Chaz got on pretty good. This was in the fall of 1971/spring of 1972.
When the summer of 72 came, I had just graduated college, my boyfriend took off for the summer to go to Colorado to help his teacher build a house, and Joe was planning to take Linda back to California, she didn't like it here. Joe and I both thought we were going our separate ways, he thought I would go back to Wisconsin where my folks lived. But I decided to stay in Portland and run the summer pottery workshops at the college. One afternoon, a guy friend of mine asked me if I wanted to go downtown to play some pool, so he drove us to the pool parlor, we had some fun knocking some balls around. When we were done, he was driving me back to my car at the college, and we passed this gas station on the street the college was on, and I saw this guy pumping gas and thought, that looks like Joe".
So after I got my car, I went back to the gas station, and sure enough it was Joe! I said "I thought you had left!" He said "I thought YOU had left". We were so happy to see each other & exchanged stories about how he had taken Linda back to California, but then he came back here alone, and I explained how I decided to stay here. I hung out with him at the gas station until he got off work, and then I think we went out for beers and played pool, and afterwards went to my place. And he never left (except maybe to go back to his apartment and get clean clothes). And we would stay up all night talking and talking for days and after a few days of this realized we were in love with each other. In sharing our intimate and personal stories, we had formed a deep bond between one another. We had had some of that over the year I had known him previously, but since we were both involved with other people at the time, of course it wasn't to the depths that we found when we rediscovered each other. Needless to say, I dumped my old boyfriend (Chaz) when he came back to town (lucky move that was). That's a funny story too. I knew Chaz was coming back, so told Joe he's have to go back to his apartment for a day or two while I broke the news to Chaz and while Chaz moved his stuff out. I'll never forget, I went to the bus or train station whatever it was, and picked up Chaz. As we were walking back to the car, I told Chaz I need to tell him something. He said something like "I've had the feeling you found someone new". I said yes, that was true, and then he said something like "Is it Joe, the gas station man?". Joe and I have laughed about this ever since. Just shows you how well Chaz did NOT know Joe. Joe was so many things, the least of them being a "gas station man."
The day accidently found Joe working at a gas station after thinking he had left, was the beginning of our relationship as best friends and soul mates. Although we don't know exactly what day it was, we know it was right around the summer solstice, so Joe and I chose June 21st as the day to celebrate our anniversary every year after that.
We have told this story often, usually to illustrate how people often find love when they are not looking for it. Joe and I were not looking for love at all when we met each other; we each had other partners, and also we both thought the other one had left town. We also tell it to illustrate the possibility of fate. And I tell it to you now to illustrate these same points, as well as to illustrate the depth of relationship that can build from not being afraid to express your personal thoughts to someone you like.
Oh and there's one more part of this story that Joe always tells that I will add, after the part about how we talked for days and fell in love, then Joe always said "and the first thing I did after we realized we were in love and I moved in to her place was, I sat down and read every book in her library". I had lots of books on metaphysical subjects, and he found them very interesting. And I had lots of books on pottery, and he even read all those! That impressed me so.
