Dad called me to ask for help.  Well, it was more of a plea.  "Baby, you've got to help me"  He said it over and over and over.

Dad was at the V.A. hospital when the doctor's delivered the news that there was nothing more they could do to treat his cancer.

He stopped eating.  He refused to talk to them or anyone else.  He wouldn't answer his phone.

They panicked.

Finally Hospice stepped in and removed him from the hospital and brought him to #HospicebytheSea.   He called them angels.  

David and I flew down.  Even though his prognosis was grim, they were pleased he was eating again and seemed in good spirits.   He truly loved it there, and I suspect they enjoyed having Dad there because they finally had a patient who was conscious and eating so they fed him constantly.  Anything he wanted, they were happy to make.  His room had a constant influx of chef's and orderly's. There was always food in his room, and I do mean always.  Many of the male orderlys sat with him and had their lunch with him and watched tv with him (lots of football of course!)  One chef asked Dad if he liked milkshakes.  Well, I think everyone in my family has a vicious sweet tooth, so of course Dad said "Chocolate".  

As a result of putting on weight, he was told that he was improving and could not stay in an end care facility.  I even asked the director if I paid for his stay outside of Medicare, if he could stay on?  She was kind but alas, there was nothing she could do.  

Dad was sent back to the Rehabilitation Center that he was staying at before the hospital stay.  He never got that Chocolate shake.  The day he was supposed to get it was the very morning he was shipped back to the Rehab place.

Fast forward ahead around a  month and that's when I got that call from Dad.

"Baby, you've got to help me".  He said it so many times over and over that I lost my temper.  I was trying to explain to him that I would be coming down asap and that he need to be patient but he wasn't listening.  He was crying.  My heart broke.  Why wasn't he listening to me?

David and I flew down and as I walked into his room, two things happened.  First, I had to immediately walk back out.  I was in shock and needed to get my bearings.  Dad looked worse than when he was taken to Hospice.  His weight was so low that I barely recognized him.  Second, he was so weak he had his phone on the pillow next to him while he tried to carry on a conversation with my brother John.  It was impossible since he couldn't hear what John was saying, so he constantly repeated himself.  

Now I understood why he never heard me a few days earlier. I'm so sorry Dad.

I immediately made plans to bring him home.  He wanted that more than anything.  He hated that Rehab place and for good reason.

They stole some of his clothes.  I had purchased a silk 'wounded warrior project' shirt that he absolutely loved that went missing.  As well as some Jets items.

 They ignored him.  The very next day when Hospice came in to bring him home, they found silverware under him that had fallen while he had tried to eat.  A fork laid on the mattress directly under him.  God only knows how long it had been there and he had to lay on it.

If Dad did not or could not get out of bed, they simply never changed the sheets. They dropped off his food tray and picked it up without checking to see if he had eaten.  All the things they told me that they would do (like check to see that he was eating) they never did.  

Yes, I tried speaking with the very same people who only a few weeks before, were more than willing to wait to speak to me about making sure Dad's bill was going to be paid on time and that I had to open a spending account for Dad while he was there in case he wanted something not included with the already exorbitant cost of him staying there, like a Coke.  Now suddenly they were all in meetings and could not discuss Dad's care.  His spending account?  We'll get back to you about that.

Cowards.

But that is not what this story is about.  I called Hospice by the Sea.  The Director remembered Dad and had someone out to the Rehab place within the hour and once they went over Dad's charts, they sat me down and said they would take care of bringing him home.  They weren't kidding.

Dad made it home.  Hospice had everything, and I mean EVERYTHING set up and Dad home and settled in, in less than 48 hours.  They really were angels.

Dad had a physical by a Hospice doctor upon arrival and a dedicated nurse that would stop by a least once a week and on call if needed. He was end stage.  I had already set up a Nurse's Aide for 24 hour care.  It had been decided that I would stay on.  I was glad I did.

Dad's first request?.....yep.....A Chocolate Shake.

Dad's Aide protested.  She said that we shouldn't feed his cancer.  Sugar feeds cancer.  She was informed, again,  that Dad was end stage but she protested and said that we were not being responsible about his health. She was suggesting a radically strict diet with tons of fiber, lean meat and healthy vegetables.  Uh, did you not hear the doctor?  He said that Dad would be very limited in what he would want to eat now.  Because of that, if he requested something specific to eat, then by all means, do what was necessary to fulfill that request.

She still insisted that if we put him on 'her' diet, he would be up and about within a few weeks.  The man could hardly chew, didn't want to chew really, but she knew best because she only shopped at Whole Foods and it had changed her life.

Ok....not that she deserved a response but my 'cockles' had been raised.  After going through the laundry list of what this man had endured over the last 6 to 12 months alone and that she had JUST met him and knew nothing about him and that she was specifically going against a MEDICAL doctor in diagnosis,  I then proceeded to inform her that if Dad had requested a damned lap dance from Kim Kardashian while eating 100 candy bars off of her sister's Chloe's butt then I would have obliged!   Like done, done and DONE!

So needless to say, about an hour later David and Dad enjoyed a thick Chocolate Shake together...minus the Kardashians.

Dad smiled the whole time.

Five years ago today we held your hand, me on your right and Tony on your left.  David standing beside me.  We told you we love you and that it was ok to go when you were ready.

It's still hard to believe that you are gone.  No more daily phone calls.  No more arguments.  No more recipe swapping.

The last thing I did for you was file you nails.  They had gotten so long.  I remember looking up and you were watching me intently with a little smile on your face.  

You know, I still have that damned convection oven/microwave that you bought me (claiming it was a friend of yours that bought it for me...like I would believe that!)  It's still in the box, never used.  I warned you that I would not give up my current microwave until it died.  Dad, that microwave is over 25 years old and still going strong.  I may never use that thing you gave me LOL.

I miss you, old man.
I know I will see you again.
But not yet.

When Dad moved to Florida, I had this very strange habit that began as a joke on one of my early visits.
It seemed that every place he lived in had sliding doors that went out to either a balcony or patio.
So I decided to leave a little piece of me before I left and would plant a single kiss on the glass of the door.
Dad would later find it and leave it there for a while and then eventually clean if off.

Even when he was sick, even when I was there alone while he was either in the hospital or at the rehabilitation center...I still planted that kiss as a reminder.

On my last visit after Dad passed away and we made arrangements to have a charity come and remove all his belongings and furniture, I made sure to leave that last kiss on his patio door, out of habit now.

Strange, I did the very same thing the last time I visited Tony's house before locking it up for the last time, never to return.

Two of the most pivotal men in my life... gone. 

I miss you terribly Dad.

Nothing like making a statement and 
I see you wanted to celebrate.

Biggest blizzard in over 20 years.
Over 2 feet expected before it's over.
We ended up with 29 inches.
I can't stop laughing.

Happy 4th Anniversary in Heaven Dad.  
I love you and miss you. 

It was quite a shock to find out that I had won this competition.  It was compulsory to enter, as it was also my final graded piece, so the pressure was on.  The teacher said I couldnt do it as it was too difficult for my first year.    Ahem...Challenge accepted.
I dont know which I was more proud of that night.  Receiving the prize or having Dad on the stage with me. 
I had won other competitions but Dad was never a part of any of the ceremonies that may have gone with the prize, so this one meant alot to me.
He gave me a kiss and told me that he was very proud of me.  I held onto the clipping because it was the first one I had with both of us in it.  Yeah...Daddy's little girl.  <3


I still have that piece of jewelry.  I will post a picture of it soon.           

Dad,

After 80 years, the house that Grandpa purchased is no longer in the family.  On June 13, 2014 David and I sold it.  I know we had your blessing and you were actually happy with all the work we had done and you knew of our future plans and that you were happy that we were moving foward with our lives.
The house was wonderful.  The work was long and downright difficult at times but well worth it.  I am happy that we left it in such better condition than when we were growing up there.  I had more than enough time to say goodbye to that chapter of our life and now we are so looking foward to our next adventure.

I know you are watching over us all, and that you will be guiding us as we move foward.  I wanted you to know that it was fun living there again, but we are happy to be gone as well.  The memories from my childhood there will always stay with me, like the Christmas I yelled up at you that the tree was on fire so you would come downstairs so we could start opening the presents.  What you could have been doing up there that whole time was beyond me.  Lord...and you would say that I was a slowpoke?!  LOL. 
But now it's time to make new memories in 'our' home. .One that is completely us, David and I. 
I will always miss the house, as it was a strong, sturdy and beautiful home and I am proud that I grew up there.  

     

This is more for me than Dad.  I want it noted that it has happened on more than one occasion that Veterans are turned away from the VA hospitals with the reasoning that they cannot be treated there unless they received their injury or illness related to duty during service.


The fact that Dad was being treated at the VA hospital for his cancer is further proof that his cancer was related to his service during the Atomic testing.  

During Dad's time in the United States Navy he participated in Operation Red Wing performed in the Pacific proving grounds.  As Wikipedia states:

Operation Redwing was a United States series of 17 nuclear test detonations from May to July 1956. They were conducted at Bikini and Enewetak atolls.

Dad participated in 3 separate tests.

Because of some sort of secret disclosure, all those folks had to sign papers stating that they could not discuss the tests once they left the proving ground and could never discuss it after discharge.  That changed once the ban was lifted, mostly because men and women like my father had cancer linked to their exposure to radiation while there.
Dad remembers having those 'meters', as he called them, being attached to his uniform during the tests.  He said you could feel the breeze created by the explosions.
None of those men realized their were guinea pigs for a military experiment.
Dad always told me how proud he was to participate and that the explosions were both beautiful and horrifying at the same time.

Dad was saddened that when he was discharged from the Navy his participation in Operation Redwing was not noted in his discharge papers.  He tried after the ban was lifted (the code of silence) to have it returned to his military record, but unfortunately larger forces were at work.

The military had realized the after effects had literally given thousands cancer and a number of other specified diseases as a direct result of their exposure to atmospheric nuclear testing undertaken by the United States during the Cold War.

I had promised Dad that I would get the confirmation that he was present during those tests so that it would be reflected in his military record.

We have, since putting up this memorial, had confirmation from the Department of Justice that Dad did, in fact, served during 3 tests.


Promise kept Dad.

I heard this song by Christina Aguilera last night while listening to some random music on Pandora.  I started to cry because it was so beautiful.  It drove home just how much I miss my dad.

Dad, you know how much I miss you and love you.  No matter what was going on in the world, you always knew I would be there for you,
I was always on your side...even if it meant doing the hard thing and telling you that you were wrong about a particular situation.
You are my first hero.
When you died, I truly lost a friend.

I know that as one of your children, we have all had issues with you at one time or another over the years.
How many children blame their parents when thing go wrong in their own lives... our parents are an easy 'out' for many.  but in the end, we hurt ourselves. 
That's what this song is about.  It's time to grow up and realize that we should tell those in our life that we love...exactly that...that we love them and to not only  forgive them but to forgive ourselves.
Isnt it sad that it's only after someone passes that for many people it's too late to make their peace.

I am so happy that all of us were able to tell you how much we love you before you left.
That being said, it still hurts so much losing you...there are days that it's so painful that it can be hard to breathe. 

Even though I know you are no longer in pain.
I know that you are with God.
All of your questions have been answered.
You are in perfect love, knowing perfect love and responding with perfect love.

For those of us here.  We must wait until we are called home.

I pray you will be there to meet me...to meet us all.


Christina Agularia
"HURT"

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms, I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done, forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
By hurting you


 i love you

On April, 24, 2013 a Memorial Mass was celebrated for Dad at St. John the Evangelist in Boca Raton, FL.  Members of his family were present along with many friends.
There were about a dozen wonderful photos flanking his urn to commemorate his life.
The Mass was beautiful, with prayers from the old testament and new.  Deacon Bill read a particularly poignant eulogy and Father Marty celebrated communion.
The music was stunningly lovely, with many hymns known by all. 
We sang Dad straight to Heaven, all heartfelt and with love.

The funeral at the National Cemetary was amazing.  We were escorted by a color guard where they gently laid Dad's remains on an alter, saluted him and then taps was played.
Not a dry eye in the area.
The flag was unfolded and snapped open, then carefully folded and presented to his youngest daughter.
After which several prayers were offered by Deacon Paul.

Dad's remains were inurned in the columbaria at the South Florida National Cemetary.
Section A-28, Row B, No. 83.

His inscription will read:

MARULLO
JOHN J
DK 2 USN
KOREA
1934 2013
ATOMIC VET
BELOVED DAD

Here's dad walking me down the aisle, escorting me to my new life, and offering David all his love and honor for becoming his son in law.

Wonderful Day.


All of the photo's can be seen larger by going directly to the "photos" section under the "gallery" tab. 

All smiles....probably relieved that bootcamp was over.

Dad is technically second from the left, although there is another person there, you cant see them.  Dad is the one with the hat on, the others have their hoods up.

Most likely around Thanksgiving.  Here is Dad, Mom and Tony.
Mom and Dad always maintained a good relationship even after the divorce.

Dad and Tony were picking on mom because she was drinking coffee (what else!) while they were toasting with BUD!

Dad is on the farthest left hand side.  Military hair cuts and spats...nothing better than that!

Ahhhh, you cant miss him!   He's the shortest guy in line!  So cute.

Dad is farthest on the right.  He's soooooooooooo young!!!

Found these pictures of Dad in his Graduation Book.  It was really hard to copy them so I apologize if they are grainy.
Dad is in the forefront on the left...cant miss that Marullo nose!

Another pre-wedding shot in our dining room.

Dad and David established their relationship early on with us visiting Dad in Florida when we first started dating.
They became the best of friends and often Dad would call the house to talk to David for hours   (to hell with me! LOL)

This picture was taken shortly before our wedding in 1996.

When Dad had his first home in Boca, he rented his spare room to a mother/daughter who were both attending college.
This is the mom, Bettina, spending time on the patio with us at Dad's house.

They were wonderful women.  They tried to keep in touch but with all the world traveling they ended up doing and then subsequently Dad selling the house and moving...he lost touch with them

Dad posing for a picture with his grand daughter Stephanie.  Picture was taken in Tony's kitchen in NY.

Here is Tony and David joking around with Dad.  With puckered lips or tongues sticking out.  Ewwwwwwwwww....LOL.

Taken before the wedding "that never ended". (it lasted a week!)

It's rare to see John with a straight face unless he's in uniform.

Here he is joking around with Dad before my wedding.

Taken shortly before I walked down the aisle, Dad and I posed for this shot.
One of the most important men in my life.

I miss him so very much.

This and the next few pictures where taken before my wedding.  John and Dad flew in for the "momentous" event.

This was after a rough night.  Sadly, only David looks worse for the wear.  He missed his seat and sat on John!  LOL.

It's amazing to me how alike Anthony and Dad are, although neither one of them would ever admit it.
They've had their differences....for sure.
But I know how much they loved each other and saw that first hand when Dad got sick and Tony flew down to see him.
They put their differences aside and had a wonderful visit.  They also talked and forgave each other for any transgressions to the other.

That's real love.

Dad loved Thanksgiving.  We have some family recipes that we make every Thanksgiving that he would look so foward to.

One of them is antipasto....the Marullo way!
He is showing off our antipasto in the dining room at the house.  This was when he moved back to NY to live closer to us...but the winter's proved too much for him so he decided to move back to Florida.

Taken in the old house on Henry Ave.  This was Dad's first Thanksgiving in the house with David and I as owners.    

My husband thinks I'm nuts including pictures that dont contain Dad in them.  But here is my take on it.
All these pictures have a story to tell.  Most are personal,yes, but they have something to do with Dad and his life...so to me they are all important.

This is the Bluff with the view of Bannerman's island.
Dad spent his entire youth and a great deal of his adult life hanging out on or near this Bluff.  Playing football, walking the dog and raising his four children with our Mom, Lucy, here.
Some of our baby pictures were taken on the Bluff.
My wedding photos were taken on the Bluff.

Continuity..................nuff said. 

This photo of Laura was also found in Dad's wallet.  It is an earlier school photo of her.  Laura is Dad's first born.

Found among the items in Dad's wallet was this picture of his first daughter, Laura.

Dad was visiting in the Fall of the the early 1990's and went apple picking with the girls school.
Here we are for a photo opt!  Tony is behind the camera.  Tony and I went on alot of the girls school outings.  We loved spending time with them.
Dad, me holding Stephanie and Laura with Jessica.

Dad rented for many years in Florida and finally purchased a home of his own.  He loved the house, but it proved to be too much for him to handle on his own and he finally sold it and tried to relocate to NY.
When that didnt work out he moved back to Florida and purchased a second, smaller place.  That ended up being his most favorite place in the world. 

After I started dating David, I had mentioned that I missed my Dad and really wanted to see him.
David.....being the wonderful man that he is, said, "No problem, let's go visit your
Dad."
He said this without even knowing that Dad lived in Florida.
So in true Kratochwil style, he didnt miss a beat and made arrangements for us to go down. Our first of many roadtrips.

Our first night at Dad's was legen... (wait for it!)..dary!

For reasons of modesty, I cannot tell you the story of our first night.....or the second night for that matter.  I can tell you it involved raw clams, a LOT of beer, and a drunken arguement over the bill!  Yes, it was the night that solidified Dad and David's relationship forever!

Ask David about the visit, it's one of his best and most favorite stories.


Here we are sitting around after a quiet dinner chatting.  Dad's friend Nancy took the picture.

Before Dad sold his house and tried to relocate back to NY, he worked for the city of Boca down at the beach.

He loved that job because his booth was air conditioned and he was able to sit when he wanted. 

Dad loved coming home to visit with his Grand-daughters.

Pictured is Dad, Jessica, Gary and Stephanie.

Im not sure what year but was most likely after 2000.

Pictures from left to right:

Back:  David, Vivian, Mom
           Stephanie, Dad, Laura.

Foreground: Jessica

Found this in Dad's camera.  Actually, there were several pictures of this and the ring was not created by the camera but actually was visible from the ground.
Dad was an artist at heart and although I questioned his abilities for many years, I later saw evidence of his talent.  I only wished he had persued it more.

After Dad moved to Florida, I would often go down and visit.  This is one of the earliest visits down.  Anthony was living in Florida as well and we were at his place.  He took the picture.
Yeah....all tanned.

This picture was taken around the mid 80's.  I was taken after Dad suffered a massive heart attack and spent a month in the hospital. 

Another photo of the ship that Dad served 4 years on while in the US Navy.  This ship served during Operation Red Wing, which Dad was a part of. 
Never realizing the after effects of Radiation poisoning, thousands of our enlisted men witnessed these 'tests' and then were bound by an oath of silence.  When Dad was discharged from the Navy, his original Discharge did not mention Operation Red Wing.
We are in the process of having that changed.

This is the ship that Dad spent 4 years on during the Korean War and witnessed 3 Atomic detonations in the Pacific theatre, earning him the "Atomic Veteran" title.

I know this may be hard for some to see, considering how sick Dad was.  But I love this picture and the beauty that it holds.
The two most important men in my life are having a quiet conversation with one another and I was able to capture it with my poor quality cell phone.
This is one of the last pictures of Dad before he died.

David and Dad shared a special bond. 

This is one of the last good pictures of Dad.  It was taken at Heartland of Boca, where he was receiving physical therapy.  It's a close up of another photo.

Dad and David hanging out on Dad's patio having a few beers after dinner.  If I remember correctly, I think David got Dad drunk that night!

The two of them together always brought it's own form of mayhem.
Two peas.

This was either the "naked chicken" or "police tape chicken cutlet" night.

Never a dull moment with the two of them around!

Aunt Ginny, Dad, David (photobomb!) and cousin Shannon.