it still hurts me everyday thinking about you uncle. what hurts me even more is not being able to remember the sound of your voice. i was just thinking about you today i want to get a tattoo of 5/7/82 across my heart. i miss you so much 7 years and i was always told id get over it but never quite have… you were the glue to our family uncle..now were all split up. i used to see you when i was younger what happened? i want to hear you i want to feel your touch i want to see you again. next month will be 8 years…8 years and it still hurts when i think abt you all i have are memories and pictures but thats not enough. i know you watch over us sometimes i randomly will think about you and wonder is it because your with me in that moment. i get dreams of you sometimes then i wake up and forget and it hurts because thats when i can see you more then a picture. i know you would be so proud of all of us. its been too long uncle. forever love and miss you️

Hey Johnny. Was just up. Don’t have to get my daughter up for another 2 hours. But I was just thinking about you and the time we shared. Me being heart broken over your brother…. You always let me kick it with you & that did make me feel better. He & I are just friends now. Which is a lot better that way. He is a great friend. But I just wanted you to know that I think of you often and whether you realize it or not…. You had a huge impact on my life. Love you Johnny!!!

In 4 days will be 5 years without you uncle, I can’t explain how much i miss you. You were one of my best friends i will forever love and miss you. It feel like you’ve been gone for a million years. You mean everything to me i hope the angels know what they have. Your birthday is coming soon, i hope i will be able to send up messages to you in heaven. I miss you so much uncle i try not to cry but it still hurts. I always tell myself “ill see him one day” and i hope that comes true. I wish for 5 more minutes with you i want to see you again. I wrote letters for you that i read everyday and night i miss you so much and i think i heard you the other night trying to talk to me but im not sure, if that was you i am so sorry that I didn’t say anything back. I wish i had a chance to say goodbye. I love you so much i will never forget ur voice or what you look like you mean so much for me. I know im a little late on this but what im trying to say is fly high uncle i love you so much❤️

Thinking of you today. Thanks for always looking out for me and making me laugh and always being my friend. Miss you. ❤

3 years today. Never did I ever think that I'd be writhing on my sons memorial page. I don't know how to get past losing you. So much has happened since you left us. The positive things are I bought a house. You would love it. 5 bedrooms, 3 baths, family room, big garage, a place each for your brother and sister without actually living with me. The kids love it. This spring when the ground thaws out, we are going to plant a memorial garden for you and grandma and grandpa. Another positive thing is you have a 3 day old niece. Your sister named her Paige. She says that she got the name from you. That you named her . because she is only 3 days old I'm postponing the balloons and strawberry shortcake that id be having until later. Don't need a bunch of people around a new born baby. So when you don't receive the balloons in heaven it's not cause we forgot or didn't care. We will never forget and will always care. . you made so many friends during your 33 years. A friend of your sister told me that he never met you, he wished he had. He said he has not met one person yet that doesn't talk highly of you. He said everyone he talks to tells him what a great guy you were. He told me that he met your best friend , then he met 20 more that said you were their best friend.he said no matter how nice or great a person is you can always find someone that didn't like them. He  has not found that person yet. And it's true. Every person's path that you ever crossed, you made an impression that will stick with them forever. Everyone loved you. I love you the most that's why your my precious baby boy and you will forever be in my heart. I was so blessed to have you for my son for the 33 years that I had with you. Sometimes I think that I'll see you again and that gives me comfort. Then sometimes I think about you being taken from me and that makes me sad. When I think about how you were taken. I get so angry and question my faith. No parent should lose their child. No man should ever have to suffer the way you did. Someday I'll find out what gods plan for you was. And why he choose you. Someday you can tell me why you hung on for so long. Was there something or someone you were hanging on for? I hope it wasn't for me. I know you knew that when the time came that I would be devasted. And I was. I know you worried how I would handle it. I know you didn't want to leave me because You were afraid that it would be the end of me. You were right when you died a huge part of me died that some night and a little more each day since. I hated seeing you suffer but at the same time I didn't want to see you go. I surprised myself when on that last day, I agreed to let you go. It was time. No more pain. You were placed on this earth for a reason besides making me the luckiest mother and you were taken for a reason. That's the part I can't get past. If you were the last person ever to have cancer and because of you a cure was discovered , I could maybe accept that. But cancer continues to suck the life out of people. It continues to leave loved ones lost and totally devastated.i lose you and 2 1/2 years later I lose my mom. Neither one of you deserved to die like that. And cancer is still here. I pray that in my lifetime that cancer is wiped out with just a vaccine. That No one ever has to go thru what you did again and no mother ever has to go thru what I have and still am going thru. Your children are growing up to be good mature adults. Chris is graduating high school. Johnny's almost a teenager(yikes) and Dawn is turning into a beautiful young lady. I know I'm rambling on and on but I haven t written you in a while. for some reason. I couldn't log on. But today I got a reminder from FB that brought me right to the website without logging in. I miss you every minute of everyday. I wish that I could see you again if only for an instant. One more hug and one more I love you. 3 years without you. 3 impossible years. I do get messages from Bailey that helps. I may cry but I'd have it no other way. I always feel so much better, it's like an emotional face lift. It never upsets me. It's hard. To explain what it does for me, honestly if it wasn't for getting your messages thru her I don't think that I would be functioning at all.
. I live you baby and will see you again.

Hey, its been awhile.I guess I was hoping that it would be easier if I let some time ppass by the time ceremony by .(and I forgot sign in info) Lets see how that goes. The kids, Danielle and I went to the Hospice Candlelight vigil on the 6th. I thought this time would be less emotional than last years, last year I cried through the whole ceremony. This year was no different , Bailey and Kiah both saw you, I tried, but as uusuaI I had no luck. I miss you so much.I know we will be together in the after life, but until then I would love to,and need more than anything to have some sort of contact with you. I know that you are around us, watching over us. Just please send me a sign. John Edwards is coming to Redding next month, please come forward. Let me know that you are at peace, and no longer in any pain. I want to know about Ali. That could be the validation that its really you. I know you never believed in mediums, but you know that I do. Let me be right this once. Alyssa will be there too and she really needs to hear from you. Neither her or Scotty are dealing with you not being here.we are all having a hard time, but I really worry about your brother and sister. I love and miss you so much. I would have traded places with you if I could have, Im not that old, but you were so young , you had so much more to live for, I wish I knew what Gods plan was for you, and why you suffered so much,  you are and always will be my "precious baby boy"

Johnny I miss you so much your not only my bro your my best friend.
I'm sorry it took me so long to get on here but I was so mad at everything at God for taking you to early I was mad at myself feeling like maybe if I did something different that you would still be here I know i did not give u cancer but when you passed away I was so mad at the world . I seen the pain you were in and i know your in a better place I know just because i can't see you or hear your voice don't mean your not around because you'll always have a big spot in my heart just for you and I felt you here with me today . I really miss you bro I'm so thankful that I got to spend all that time with you before you passed but we will see each other again when it's my time to join you .. Johnny I went and seen your kids a couple weekends ago . I talked about you to them and told them stories about you and little Johnny is just like you they both are but your son reminds me of you so much I love them kids and I love you. Your missed but never forgotten RIP BRO .

Hey baby, its been a year today. I've always heard two things.....first the first year is the hardest. I hope so, I don't believe that its true, cuz everyday is just as hard as the day before. I think about you every minute of everyday. I cry each night until there aren't anymore tears to fall.I hope you know and always have known how much you meant to me. I loved you from the moment I first learned I was pregnant, then I loved you even more the first time I saw you and held you in my arms. From that moment you were mommas precious baby boy. The second thing I always heard was that no parent should ever lose a child. There is an order of death that should not be broken. No parent should ever bury their child.this couldn't be more true. When you passed a large part of me passed with you. Your loved ones not only lost you on this day, but they also lost as part of me. I will never get over losing you. I will never be the same again.someday we will see each other again ,then I can ask god why him? Why did he have to suffer? I love you and I miss you more than you'll ever know. I'm going down to see your kids next week. Hugs and kisses from you to them.love you my precious baby boy

Even though we never met, you were my 2nd cousin.
when your dad & I were little we use to be close, I'm sorry I didn't ever get to meet you but I hope you Rest in peace lil cuz.

My name is cynthia coyne I was 24 yrs old when I first had breast cancer I was horrified and so upset but the lords healing hands took care of me ed and was cancer free for 5 yrs until just resent in December of 2015 I was diagnosed with stage 2 uterus cancer and again I was lost so on upset but I had alot of faithand positive thinking and beat cancer again as of now im in remission for 3yrs cancer free imso very sorry for yourloss my love and strengh go out to the family and cancer ugly and nasty illness love toall the family ive been there I trully have muah

Even though we never meet, we are second cousins, may you REST IN PEACE.

It's been awhile since I've been on here. We had a birthday celebration at Winn River Casino. The strawberry shortcake was great. The company was great , but we all lost our asses. I think we're going to make this an annual celebration/memorial/birthday party. The following weekend the nieces and nephews and I ate strawberry shortcake and wrote messages on balloons and sent them to you. I visited Johnny and Dawn, Do Dah couldn't make it, we went to a excellent bbq restaurant in Nice, then off to the movies. " Angry Birds" I thought oh great angry birds, but it was their choice. I loved it. I was so glad we went. I purposely went down on the anniversary of Michaels passing to support Deana.       Lately I've not been dealing with losing you so well. I was shopping at Safeway, thought I could buy the white raspberry filled donuts and the kids and I would say cheers. I put them in the shopping cart, I placed them on the counter, then I had a complete meltdown. I told the clerk that I couldn't buy them. I hadn't bought any since your services. I thought I couLd, but it's too soon. I just wish that I would have been anywhere but Safeway when I lost it It been almost 6 months, but the pain is still so fresh and strong . Most of the holidays have passed. I've always heard thatt the first year holidays are the hardest The last 2 weeks have been exceptionally difficult. Your picture is my screensaver on my tablet, whenever it pops up I cry. It wasn't this bad right afterwards. I think it's actually getting harder . I use to think that I would do anything for just one more hug, one more kiss or one more I love you mudda. But just one more would not be enough. I want to see you, smell you, touch you, visit with you everyday. I believe in the after life, everyday I wish that this is the day that Johnny will come to me. No matter in what form or even in a dream. I miss you so much, I know that I will get thru this, but I don't know how that can be possible. It's not getting easier it becoming impossible. I do know maybe it's just now starting to hit me .I love you so much,I can't believe your gone. This is a cruel,cruel world. God blessed me when he gave you to me, then 33 years later he devastated me when he took my precious baby boy back.

So sorry for your loss....my deepest condolences to the Doverspike family. Cancer is a horrible medical condition and sadly 9 out of 10 people lose the battle with cancer. I have you in my thoughts and prayers, I hope that u all of you wishes were granted and that life treated you well.
Again I send my deepest sympathy to your beloved family.

Hi baby, I miss you everyday. I cry for you everyday. Your birthday is coming up soon. You wanna bet that it is going to be an exceptionally hard day for me. I won a jackpot at Win River the other day and besides the money they gave me a T-shirt and a 1 night stay at their hotel. I am going to book it for the 7th, I haven't decided if I want to invite a few friends or all of your friends to come celebrate your 34 th birthday. Its even worse to see It in black avd white that you weren't even 34 when you completed your journey.I Am not only inviting you to join us, I am pleading with you. I need to see you, or feel your touch, smell you or feel your presence.. I have to know that you are OK, that you are happy, and k now if you have any regrets. I have to,have to know if Ali is with you. So pplleeaassee be there. I know you know where Win River is so no excuses.lol.                                                Every time I' listen to your song I will start crying. And I'll think at any moment johnny is going to reach down here and smack me in the back of the head and say mom you've cried enough already. Now knock it  off , but so far you haven't. I don't know how to go on without you. I know that I have to, but I swear I can't. I wish this were all a bad nightmare , but I know its not. I havent lost my mind yet. Sometimes I just wish that i could lose just enough of it to where I was still functioning but not hurting every minute of everyday. you are the lucky one. You can be with us every minute. You can guide us. you are not missing us..you are not lost in a fog of sorrow. your wait for us to join you is only a blink of an eye. For more reasons than that I would have gladly traded you places. I would have taken the pain and misery you suffered and I would have taken my final journey if it meant that you could still be here with all of your friends and loved ones. You would be the one mourning me. For the record I would have already snacked you in the back of the head for crying, and I also would let you see, touch, Snell and since me. So you need to get on the ball and bring me some comfort. Love you so much ,until next time,you are and always will be " my precious baby boy''

When does it start getting easier? Tomorrow will make 6 weeks and it still hurts as much as the day you passed. I am happy, releived and thankful that you are no longer in pain and that you have reunited with loved ones that have passed before you. Until we meet again just know that I love you, I miss you and I think of you every single minute of every single day . I know that you are in heaven watching over all those loved ones left here on Earth. I know its no easy task to make sure we all take the right path , but if anyone can do it you can. My birthday will be in a few days and I know that I won't receive that call that I have received every year since you were little guy. That is going to be so hard on me, waiting for that miracle, so maybe you contact me another way. Again if any one can do it, you can. I love you so much. You have always been and always will be " MY precious baby boy" A big part of my heart left with you, but that's OK because it's with you

We had your celebration of life on Saturday at the Lion Hall in McArthur. Uncle Boyd flew in from Texas. He And Emma drove up together. Uncle Donnie, uncle Jim and Cousin Donnie, Jamie and Samantha all came up. Aunt Debbie and Derek came up Friday and left yesterday. Melody,Dave, Do-dah, Johnny and Dawn left Lake County early and were at the hall before I was. I gave them their keepsake necklaces. I also gave keepsakes to our family as well to Tony and I will be sending one to Justin. The local family members and many friends all came to pay their respects. My pastor officiated. Aunt Debbie catered and decorated.Troy and Dena were in charge of the music. They are giving me the cds of all the songs that were played. The girls aunt Kimberly Davis sang a beautiful song accompanied by Sylaz Doverspike. Many friends stood and gave testimonials. Denas mother wrote a poem for me. She said that it was a one of a kind and meant only for me. She was right, I know that my pain is no greater or less than any other mothers that has lost a child but this poem is definitely mine. Denas mom wrote the words but they came straight from my heart. I didn't know if I would be able to read it or not but I did. Scotty said some very emotional words that brought tears to many. Alyssa wrote a poem that is so beautiful that it would be published if she submitted it. She was too emotional to read it. There was a little excitement that upset some , Including myself. I do however understand why it happened. If a family member ( members ) ask someone to leave, that person should leave Immediately and not stay and deliberately antagonize a grieving family member. You would've not expected anythig less from these two given their history. I hope we did right by you, giving you the best send off we could. You are loved by so many. You will always be remembered and in our hearts.

Johnny,
  May you RIP bro. Know you will be missed.
Party hard and we will see you in Heaven.
Love Troy & Dena.....

Love you my friend. I'm thankful for all the years that you were here and all the laughs we had. Rest in paradise❤️

oh yeah i miss it all. love ya johnny. From rearranging the rooms to make you comfortable, to laying for hours with you after the seizures just talking to you, laughing at dumb shit, and seeing the looks of appreciation from you for doing these things. I feel like at times i owe you the gratitude of being able to do these things for you. I needed to be caring for someone n i got to, i never really even noticed days i didnt wanna feel sad. they were fewer. Oh my friend I wouldve fought every day to just come by a say high.....AYE. lol i miss it all johnny but we would sit for hours shooting dice, playing slots, n listening to hella music... i will remember it all i love ya lots my friend im sad your gone.

Johnny was my grandson, he was a very nice guy. I hated to see him go so young but with cancer, he is better off. He will be missed forever. Johnny, you are where you will be taken care of, until we meet again.
Love forever.
Grandma Heisler

Johnny, I remember the day I first met you... Never did I think you would become like a brother to me. And actually closer to me then my own blood brother. You are so awesome, and always welcomed me into your family! Thank you for that. I know your in a better place and your no longer in pain. You will never be forgotten and always be missed!!! I will take care of your brother the best I can. I'm not sure he knows what to do without you. It'll never be the same without your jokes and sense of humor... You always kept me laughing (sometimes even wondering if you even were joking, lol) I love you Johnny and will be seeing you again!

Today is the first day of the rest of my life,so many memorys flooding my mind.... both good and bad.I love u Johnny,n the way I feel,words couldn't explain...I'm happy ur pain is gone,but mine has just began....can't say ur name,look at ur picture,talk about u...or even thinking of u makes my heart hurt literally hurts to breathe.I know ur happy n pain free,n Ull never hurt again.I can feel ur vibe around me,all the things we got to do,n all the things we didn't get the chance to do...all I kno,is there is no better big bro.I love u,Ull never b forgoten.ur my best friend,my big brother,shit talk-smoke'n hater n a half,out of every thing n every one...I can feel ur energy...love u. Xoxoxo, Alyssa. Aka(ur boss's boss)

I know are time as friends may not have been as long as others but your friend ship is was and always will be the truest that iv ever had besides my crazy wifes lol never forget that nght with the truck. I knew you was goin to pass but i dont think a hundred years would have prepared any one for it. Love you brother party like a rock star thak you lil jonny

You were my heart and soul. You were my everything. I could not have loved you more. You were my "precious baby boy" and I was your "mudda" I had close to a year to prepare for your passing. We said everything we wanted to say. We each knew how the other felt about one another. I knew when the time came that I would be ready. I would no doubt be devastated and would shed a few tears, but I was going to be ok. WRONG . When you left a big part of my heart and soul left with you. I know that someday we will meet again (please don't be late meeting me at tphe gate)but that will seem like an eternity, it's been only11/2 days but it seems like forever. My heart aches so bad I don't know that I can go on. I have an endless stream of tears. I would have never thought it would be possible for that many tears to come from one person, with no relief any Time soon. What I would do for one more hug, one more kiss and one last time hear my "precious baby boy"" say I love you too "mudda"

I will cherish forever every minute we ever spent together. As kids we take for granted all the times we had but now that your gone all I want is to hear your laugh or see you smile. I'll never forget all the moments you and Justin would dance to shania Twain or claim to be gods gift to woman. You had so much confidence which is something I always admired about you. Thank you for choosing me to be your sister for letting me be a part of your life. I am truly honored to have known you. Until we meet again I love you big brother and will miss you every second of every day.

Far to young to have been taken though I know your worry was how the rest were going to cope. Such a selfless and caring man, you are missed deeply.

Johnny, some of my fondest and funniest memories are of you! Oh the crap you and Justin put your mom and I through! However, my love for you is just like my love for my own children, unconditional, you always showed me so much respect and love. My respect and love for you will forever live in my heart!! I love you Johnny, yesterday, today and always!!