I can not believe it has been 9 years already. Seems like every year the loss is fresh. I so miss your calls, visits, and smiling face. Looking forward to our reunion in Heaven. Sure could use one of your hugs, you always had great hugs. Son, I wonder what you would be doing, how you would look, where you would be today, if you were here. I wouldn't want you to be in any suffering or earthly pains - but those are questions I have. I love and miss you muches. 

Well Son, no matter how many years have passed, I miss you terrible. Another Heavenly birthday. I am looking forward to being there with you to celebrate, but I know then our focus will be JESUS. I don't know if you can see your girl, Ashlynn, but she is beautiful and smart and loves the LORD. I see you in her eyes when for they look just like yours. I can't believe it has been 9 years since I saw your smile and heard your laugh, but both are still fresh in my heart. I love you muches, Son and always will.

Another Thanksgiving without you. So much has happened this year. I guess Dad is glad you let him join you and Mr. John - he said he was sure you two kept him from coming in in 2014. If so I am glad I got to have him for 5 more years. And now you have Grandpa with you. From Scripture, I realize I am living on borrowed time now - so I will keep keeping on until I too get to join all of you. HAPPY HEAVENLY ANNIVERSARY. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, baby boy - I sure miss your antics and your smiles. I love how you always tried to help others in trouble, how you loved your family fiercely and intensely, not allowing others to disparage or hurt any of us in anyway. I sure could use one of your hugs. Love you muches, Son and will see you again, this I know.

Another Thanksgiving has passed and you were missed. We remembered you and your antics in conversations and laughed at the things that you often did. I am blessed that you are still a part of so many lives. You would be so proud of Ashlynn, and she gets to be a big sister. I love and miss you, Son - but, am so glad to know I will see you again. (getting older, so it could be soon, lol )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, again - 35 years - I miss you, Son - wish I could hug you, but I am blessed knowing you celebrate with our LORD and all the family and friends who have gone before and after you. I love you muches.

Damn 4 years now. Still wish things could have been different. Thought about you a lot this weekend. Our Buckeyes beat Xichigan, wish we could have watched the game together.

Well, another year has passed, I can't believe you have been gone for almost 4 years. You are still so missed. Conversations turn to "remember when" at every event and time we gather. Wow, you would have been 34 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, may the LORD give you a special hug from me. I love you so very muches. MOM

hanging on. when i feel you it spins me for a few days still. thinking of you always. bought more land in arizona...

Happy Birthday in Heaven . We miss you everyday, I hope I am raising our girl to your expectations. You would be so proud of the beautiful ,smart little girl she is! She is the perfect combination of a never ending love. Give momma and daddy a hug and a kiss for me xoxoxk

No matter how long it has been, I still miss you Son. 
I remember all the kicks as you grew inside, and the day you were born. You were always such a happy, smiling, laughing baby -
Wish I could hug you and tell you I love you, again. But for today, I will send my love this way and know your BIRTHDAY is totally blessed, as you are face-to-face with our LORD. 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SON.

....

Thinking of you. Wish I could sit down and talk to you.

I sure am missing you and thinking alot about you lately and I have to say this whole time thing is BS it doesn't make it easier or less painful. If anything I think and ponder things more and more now and everyday . It still sucks and all I can say is thank you for leaving us such a beautiful part of you behind here with us that was get to watch grow up and see you in her everyday she is so sweet Josh I know you would be so proud of her when she smiles it lights up the world and I see you in her eyes all the time. I wish we could have had more fun times and laughter and I wish I could just give you a hug, Love you little brother God keep you until we see each other again

Happy Fathers Day my love we love and miss you so so much

Happy Birthday Baby boy not a day goes by that I don't think of you and how blessed I am to have our babygirl ( a living piece of you)... there is so much about her that is all you...I know you are always here with us watching over and protecting us...I am at peace knowing you are safe and with the Lord and that one day shall see each other again... I love you and will always love you...happy 32 birthday
Special message from Ashlynn- Happy Birthday daddy I Love you

Happy Birthday Son, I miss you so much and wish I could give you a birthday hug. I am so happy you are safe with JESUS - so I know I will see you again. Love you muches.

Mom

Thinking of you...

I miss you as much as ever, Son. But, I am so blessed to have the assurance that I will see you again.

I have been thinking alot about you this first year of your being gone. I have pondered the many things in this life that I have done or experienced that you never will; also thinking how many things you did in your life I will probably never experience or do . You were the baby and completed the six pack and even though you are not here with us in your body you will always live in our hearts and thoughts. You were defifinelty a force of life

This has been a hard year, knowing we cannot see you here on earth again. But, God is so good - and because of your acceptance of His gift of salvation, we know we will see you again. I love you muches, son and miss you.

They say it gets easier, but it doesn't. I miss you everyday, morning to night, I miss you in my dreams, I miss you every time I look at our perfect little girl. She is just like you in so many ways. I am so grateful to have such a big piece of you but it doesn't make the hurting stop. You were my best friend, my soul mate, the Clyde to my Bonnie, you were supposed to come back, and even though I know your here now, I still just want to feel your arms around me, I want to feel your kiss on my forehead when I worry, I want to see Ashlynn sitting on your lap, you walking her down the aisle when she gets married. I love you and have loved you more than anyone could ever know. I cant wait until we see each other again. We miss you so much <3

thinking of you.

Josh came to me as a miracle. I'd been in a horribly abusive relationship for 8 years and was at the end of my rope so to speak when he suddenly appeared in my front yard, buying my blazer, gorgeous as ever, bright eyed, amazing. I pulled some strings and had him assigned to work on my property. Here I was this women down on her luck, losing faith in love and afraid to sleep at night. He came to me as a miracle. He reminded me what it was to be happy, what it was to be crazy, what it was to be free and experience everything. He showed me photos of his beautiful daughter and weeped openly. He loved me and my girls and never betrayed me. Yes josh was known to be a bit crazy and sometimes he scared the shit out of me but his nature was our worlds reality. We are born amazing. Some of us violent, some of us mousey and some of us miracles at the end of a horrible reality. He broke a spell so to speak. A spell from a man who never really loved me. He fixed things that meant so much to me, and cured my ego from the abusive man who had almost destroyed me. He lighted a fire like no other had been able to before. He was kind to me and he was inspiring to me. He stepped up fearlessly where many had run and forced me to see i could be happy again. He saved me. We snuck to vegas sometimes and blew a ton of money, he was the only man I trusted enough to fall asleep with on the drive home, the only man i felt safe with and the only man who could have changed me. From the minute i met josh, my life changed dramatically. He set me free. Nothing I write here can do justice for what he did. I see that he was loved by many. Some of us had that rare chance of experiencing him and God are we lucky. Our time was brief but what he did will last an eternity. I am still grieving. I am still afraid to admit even to myself that I may have been too selfish and too greedy to realize the man before me. He was the last man I loved and almost no one knew about me and that has to be ok with me. Before he left my life, he saved me. He saw a woman in need and he saved me. Our songs were Rhiannas Stay and Summertime Saddness by Lana Del Rey. Now its the most painful thing for me. We had a breif few months of heaven, of course haunted by his "things", but still he broke a spell and freed me. He loved his daughter and his daughters mother deeply. He couldnt help being naturally born different than most, but he was always helping somebody. He built a patio for me, so now everyday he shelters me. He gave me my microwave, so everyday he warms the food I eat. I sometimes imagine the way he made me feel. How he reached out and opened the world up for me. Id felt like repunzel before josh. Id felt like the world had forgotten me. He changed that in me. I had attempted to contact him just days before he past, but he hated facebook and maybe in the end this was what was supposed to be. God needs every badass angel he can get right now. Hes taking the toughest and most beautiful for his Army. I have to push through the guilt and I have to push through all of these things he wouldnt want from me. This man touched me at the core of my soul. I understood his everything, even if sometimes it was scary... but thats what made him beautiful. He was real. I will never forget him or how he changed me. Josh you freed me and forever you will be a part of me. I will love you and remember you always. Thank you, and I'm sorry. KING AND QUEEN OF YUCCA VALLEY. those places will always belong to you and me.

I have been back and forth about what to say about Josh. He was a friend, a brother, a protector, a joker, and lover. To me he was all of these things and more. I have so many stories of things we did and not sure where to start. He had a full life if not a long life. One of my favorite things about him was that he was always just a call a way.

josh would come over and hang out with john at our house on larrea ave. well one night my mother was actually home. We were all in the living room hanging out and they walk in. Josh had said he had to go to the bath room. Now we all knew our mother was in there taking a bath. So when he asked if any one was in there, we all answered NOOOOO... lol

So he goes walking in and we know he sees her when we hear this..."O GODDD!!! NO!!!! ....mrs. chuck!" as he is running down the hall and out the door. Covering his eyes still. John and Trevor was rolling with laughter. I go outside to check on him and to tell him we got you this time. His reply was i am just gonna Pee out here now.

may be next time i will share something a more personal adventure with Josh

It was such a blessing to be the mother of this young man. He proved to be a true friend to many many people. Those who have shared stories with us may leave them here for others to read and get to know the special person he was and how he touched their lives. We miss and love you very much, my precious son.

Josh was always special to me. I remember when he would always come over to our house to have me cut his hair and I would always tell him how much I loved his ears. Josh always called me mom we shared a special bond. When we all were asked to share a story about Josh one in particular came to mind. My son Paul and Jerin had just gotten married and were renting a small cabin in Morongo Valley.and it was pretty secluded and kinda spooky at times. Well Josh was at my house and I asked him if he wanted to sneak up on them and scare them, of course he said yes! We parked down the road and crawled army style threw the desert we were cracking up the whole time because we could see them on the roof top! Well it seemed like they were being romantic or somethin like that! They were also star gazing! When they finally went in I snuck over to the back of the house and signaled to Josh to come over and he did. It was hard not to giggle because we could see them in the house we were good peeper toms, Carefully Josh climed up on the roof top and I followed behind, I could hear them talking to each other "Did you hear that? It sounds like something is on the roof" they came out and looked with a flash light and went back in. We hid behind the brick chiminy and dropped a couple of big rocks down it and all of a sudden Paul jumps onto the roof and Josh took off and I had a gun in my face! when Paul realized it was me his mom he was a little upset! He told me that I could of gotton my head shot off! we laughed about it later but he was not too happy with us! Most of my memories of josh were before he was nineteen and life wasnt so hard. I hope in the time that I knew Josh that he knew that he was special to me and that he was like a son and that I loved him.
                  
                   Rest in peace Josh, Monica, friend, mom.